Let Her Lose Control - Chapter 3

Su Ningyue’s biological clock woke her precisely at 6:30 AM. The unfamiliar hotel environment disoriented her senses, and Su Ningshang’s deliberately hushed voice drifted from around the corner.

The keywords “Hundred Flowers Awards” and “Shu Xuan” pierced her ears, snapping her thoughts back into focus. Su Ningyue rubbed her eyes, finally shaking off the lingering drowsiness.

Su Ningshang had not only been invited to present the Best Actress award to the newly crowned Shu Xuan, but Huachen Entertainment’s artists also dominated nearly half the nominations at the ceremony. As the CEO of Huachen Entertainment, Su Ningshang’s presence in Rong City was clearly inappropriate.

Especially since she had abandoned Shu Xuan, the very actress she had been grooming for stardom. The publicity campaign originally planned to capitalize on Shu Xuan’s victory had to be scrapped. Both professionally and personally, Su Ningshang owed Shu Xuan’s team an explanation.

Su Ningyue had no interest in how Su Ningshang intended to compensate her artists. Getting up now would make it seem like she had been deliberately eavesdropping. She simply rolled over and pulled the covers higher.

The phone calls continued, one after another. Beyond Shu Xuan, the names of other artists and directors surfaced. Huachen Entertainment wasn’t just a talent agency; it also housed a top-tier film and television production company.

This production arm had been established and expanded under Su Ningshang’s leadership. In just a few years, it had produced numerous critically acclaimed works, earning the company the reputation as a trendsetter in the entertainment industry.

Time passed unnoticed until the phone calls finally ceased. The mattress behind Su Ningyue dipped slightly.

“Why aren’t you up if you’re awake?”

“Afraid I might accidentally overhear company secrets,” Su Ningyue replied, no longer pretending to be asleep. She yawned and turned over.

A subtle silence fell between them, and Su Ningshang’s fingers paused mid-stroke.

It had been a long time since they’d shared such playful banter. Realizing this, Su Ningyue sat up, her expression casual as she asked, “You promised to take me to the cemetery. You’ll keep your word, right?”

Su Ningshang patted Su Ningyue’s back. “Let’s get breakfast first.”

Fresh clothes lay on the bedside table—Su Ningyue didn’t need to look to know they were her favorite brands and styles. After all, aside from their intimate moments in bed, Su Ningshang remained meticulously attentive to her needs in every aspect of life.

They ate breakfast at the hotel’s buffet restaurant. Blending in with strangers allowed Su Ningyue to act more naturally around Su Ningshang.

At 7 a.m., most of the diners were people who had to work on weekends. Those who could afford to stay in a five-star hotel typically held respectable jobs, appearing glamorous in public but sacrificing much of their personal freedom due to their status.

While Su Ningshang went to select their breakfast, Su Ningyue sat at their table, observing the other guests. She enjoyed doing this—it was pointless, but far more interesting than killing time with mobile games.

Among the diverse crowd, Su Ningyue instinctively observed Su Ningshang. This habit, ingrained since childhood, drew her gaze even when she didn’t intend to look.

As Su Ningshang picked up food with tongs, the overhead dining light cast a warm, intense beam across her profile, just as it did for others. But Su Ningshang, having withstood the brutally high-definition cameras of the entertainment industry, remained unfazed by such lighting.

Su Ningyue shifted her gaze, scanning the room for other points of interest. Finding none that held her attention, she withdrew her gaze until Su Ningshang had arranged several plates on the table. Without a word, Su Ningyue picked up her chopsticks and began eating quietly.

Outside the hotel, a bodyguard drove a Bentley sedan to the entrance. Su Ningyue deliberately glanced at the license plate, recognizing it as the car Su Ningshang had purchased when accompanying her back to Rong City for the funeral. Surprisingly, it had remained there, gathering dust.

The bodyguard opened the door for Su Ningyue. Noticing Su Ningshang about to settle into the back seat, Su Ningyue stepped forward. “Mountain roads make me carsick. I’ll sit in front.”

The bodyguard glanced uneasily at Su Ningshang, who showed no visible reaction. “Give me the keys,” Su Ningshang instructed the bodyguard.

Su Ningyue was forced to sit in the same row as Su Ningshang. She kept glancing at the cars behind them in the rearview mirror, trying to distract herself.

Suddenly, Su Ningshang leaned in close without warning. Su Ningyue instinctively recoiled, pressing herself against the seatback. “This is…”

Before she could finish the words “the hotel entrance,” a soft click sounded. Su Ningshang had fastened her seatbelt and settled back into her seat.

Su Ningyue wanted to explain, but she knew that any explanation would only make the situation more awkward.

Soon, the morning rush hour trapped them in gridlock on the elevated highway, prolonging their time in the confined space. As expected, Su Ningshang initiated a conversation. “Were you planning to visit your aunt earlier?”

Su Ningyue’s heart leaped.

“The airport sent me your flight reservation,” Su Ningshang continued.

Su Ningyue took a shallow breath. She had thought the incident from the previous night was over, but Su Ningshang had clearly investigated thoroughly. Her composure, which had begun to settle, tightened again. She nervously twisted her fingers and mumbled, “…Yes.”

Her aunt, Shen Wenqin, was Mother Jiang’s younger sister. Years ago, while studying abroad, she had married a Swedish man from the same university and settled overseas permanently.

Su Ningyue had met her aunt once at the Jiang Family parents’ funeral. She was a classic Eastern beauty with a gentle demeanor, and had even offered to take Su Ningyue back to Sweden with her.

Knowing her place, Su Ningyue recognized that she was merely a stranger to her aunt. Given the Su Family’s usual indifference towards her, she dismissed her aunt’s words as polite formalities, not to be taken seriously.

At the time, she never imagined that six months later, when she contacted her aunt to express her desire to study abroad, her aunt would directly use their familial connection to expedite her immigration paperwork.

Before calling her aunt, Su Ningyue hadn’t held much hope. The Su Family parents were willing to send her abroad, but only after the college entrance exams. Her aunt was her only chance.

“Do you really want to go?” Su Ningshang turned to her, voicing her concerns. “The climate in Northern Europe is vastly different from Cloud City, and the common language isn’t Chinese or English. How will you adjust?”

Su Ningshang’s gaze held clear worry, as deep and distant as the ocean. Su Ningyue found it difficult to maintain her facade of bravado.

Perhaps silence was the best response.

From the moment Su Ningshang found her at the hotel, the plan had been abandoned. Whether Su Ningyue herself wanted to go, or whether her aunt or the Su Family parents had wanted her to, no longer mattered.

Su Ningyue lowered her gaze, her head bowed.

Su Ningshang glanced at the gridlocked expressway ahead, turned to face Su Ningyue, and gently pinched her cheek, which had puffed out slightly from her fidgeting. “Ningning.”

Su Ningyue murmured in response, “Mmm.”

Su Ningshang continued, “I was going to wait until you filled out your college applications after the Gaokao to ask you, but since you’re already a senior, there’s no harm in discussing it earlier.”

Su Ningyue looked up, bewildered. “What?”

Su Ningshang asked, “Have you thought about what major you want to study or which university you want to attend after the Gaokao?”

After the Gaokao…

Su Ningyue had indeed entertained many ideas. While watching movies, she dreamed of becoming a glamorous movie star. Reading novels, she imagined herself as a shrewd and domineering CEO. When she scored first place on exams, she even fancied herself a scientist whose name would be remembered for generations.

Her aspirations were endless, yet they remained mere fantasies, none solidifying into what she could truly call her life’s ambition.

Perhaps it was her youth, or perhaps it was because Su Ningshang had already shouldered all the responsibilities, leaving Su Ningyue free from the need to ponder such weighty matters. As long as she didn’t stray too far from the norm, she could live a carefree life.

She had once thought that if Su Ningshang encountered any setbacks in her career, she would even consider a strategic marriage for her sake.

But now it seemed Su Ningshang neither needed nor would allow her to make such a sacrifice.

Because Su Ningshang wanted her for herself.

This felt even worse.

Su Ningyue struggled to breathe. She whispered, “I haven’t thought about it yet. Do you have any suggestions?”

As if anticipating this response, Su Ningshang gently patted Su Ningyue’s shoulder with her warm palm. The heat seeped through the thin fabric and skin, pressing tighter. “Since you don’t have a particular major in mind, there’s no need to specifically choose a university in Northern Europe. Domestic universities have been improving rapidly in recent years and are now on par with those in Northern Europe.”

So this was Su Ningshang’s true motive for bringing up the topic. Su Ningyue tried to shift to the right, but Su Ningshang tightened her grip on her shoulder. “Ningning, you agree, right?”

Su Ningyue sat there silently, her hands clenched tightly beneath her sleeves, leaving crescent-shaped marks on her palms. After a long pause, she finally said, “…Yes.”

Su Ningshang’s smile deepened. “Good girl, Ningning.”

By the time they reached the cemetery, a wind had picked up outside, as if they had entered another world.

Su Ningshang retrieved a coat from the car and hurried after Su Ningyue, draping it over her shoulders. The coat still held Su Ningshang’s body warmth, seeping into Su Ningyue’s skin. Su Ningyue shook her head. “I’m not cold, just a bit windy.”

Su Ningshang gave her two options: “Put it on yourself, or let me help you?”

Su Ningyue reluctantly slipped her arms into the sleeves. “Thank you.”

The cemetery was slightly more crowded on Saturday than on weekdays, but still sparsely populated. As they walked deeper into the grounds, another group passed by. Judging by their mourning attire, they were there for a recent burial.

Su Ningyue and Su Ningshang stepped aside to let them pass. The relatives and friends trailing behind the procession chatted quietly, and Su Ningyue faintly overheard snippets of their conversation.

“People shouldn’t be too greedy. After living half a lifetime, wouldn’t it have been better to sell the company honestly and enjoy his retirement? Why did he have to pick a fight?”

“Now look at him. He lost the bet, lost his money, and lost his life. The media is all over the story, and his reputation is ruined.”

“I heard he was the one who begged Huachen to acquire his company in the first place. When he saw how accommodating Huachen was, he started plotting other schemes… Did he really think Huachen was still that small company from years ago?”

The bodyguards behind them clearly heard the conversation but pretended not to notice, lowering their heads. Su Ningyue stared at Su Ningshang in shock, who turned her head at the same moment. The gloomy cemetery sky seemed to devour the warmth in Su Ningshang’s demeanor, leaving her enveloped in an impenetrable coldness.

The iron-hearted ruthlessness of a leader was on full display.

After the funeral procession had departed, Su Ningshang finally asked, “What do you want to ask?”

Su Ningyue didn’t understand business matters, but that didn’t mean she would blindly indulge her saintly impulses. When she first heard the deceased was connected to Su Ningshang, she was indeed shocked, but not because she suspected her.

Seeing her silence, Su Ningshang turned and walked toward the graves of the Jiang Family parents.

Su Ningyue followed, keeping half a meter behind her. She whispered, “Just pretend you didn’t see those people.”

Su Ningshang paused briefly, nodded in acknowledgment, and continued walking.

Su Ningyue bit her lip and hurried after her.

The Jiang Family parents’ graves lay in the opposite direction from the funeral procession. When Su Ningyue arrived, the area was quiet and clean, as someone came daily to tidy the graves.

The bodyguard following behind handed over two bouquets of flowers and meticulously arranged the offerings for the memorial service. After Su Ningshang and Su Ningyue paid their respects together, Su Ningshang gave Su Ningyue some time alone. “I’ll wait for you in the car. Call me immediately if you need anything.”

Su Ningyue was somewhat surprised that Su Ningshang was willing to wait in the car. But then she realized that with her meager courage and terrible sense of direction, she wouldn’t even attempt to run away in a cemetery.

“Okay.”

Only after Su Ningshang and the bodyguard had rejoined and completely disappeared from Su Ningyue’s sight did she crouch down in front of the tombstone, staring blankly at the still-youthful faces of her parents in the photograph.

Bl00d ties were a strange thing. If Su Ningyue were to face the photographs on the neighboring graves, she would feel fear and trepidation. But when she looked at her own parents—even though they had never spoken a word to her or formally met her—she felt an overwhelming sense of closeness.

Her parents had been university professors, dedicating their lives to self-discipline, propriety, and nurturing countless students. She wondered if their spirits in heaven would be disappointed to learn that their biological daughter was her.

“The Su Family is still treating me well. The Su Family Parents are wonderful, and Su… Sister is also very kind. Oh, and Jiang Jinsui is doing well with the Su Family too. You can rest assured.”

“I know you would have preferred me to go to Sweden. I seriously considered it—to distance myself from Su Ningshang, from everything related to the Su Family, and start anew, maintaining only a proper familial relationship with them.”

Su Ningyue gazed at the tombstone and whispered, “But Mom and Dad… I can’t leave anymore.”

In truth, Su Ningshang had taken the initiative in their current relationship. She, Su Ningyue, should have been the one to push things forward.

She said “should have” because the initial shift in their dynamic stemmed from that hangover soup and her repeated attempts to get closer.

Long after the hangover soup incident, Su Ningyue finally understood what it meant when Su Ningshang napped with her clothes and why Su Ningshang had insisted she live at the boarding school.

She had forgotten that she and Su Ningshang were two independent adults with no bl00d relation. She had also forgotten that Su Ningshang’s sexual orientation had always been toward women.

She had believed Su Ningshang could maintain her gentle sister persona indefinitely. But the day the newly issued immigration visa arrived at their home, everything changed.

Su Ningshang calmly took the visa and asked with a smile, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have gotten one too, so I could accompany you abroad.”

Su Ningyue’s mind was still reeling from Su Ningshang’s recent strange behavior. Instead of taking the olive branch offered, she retorted, “What would you do there? I’m not going on vacation. I’m going to live with my aunt and never come back.”

“Never come back?”

“Yes!”

The entire living room fell silent, so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

In truth, Su Ningyue didn’t want to antagonize Su Ningshang. She simply wanted to emphasize that she had other support systems. If Su Ningshang had agreed, she would have naturally promised, “I’ll come back to see you during every vacation.”

But to her surprise, Su Ningshang didn’t agree. Instead, she took the immigration visa and turned to walk into the study. Su Ningyue chased after her, watching helplessly as the visa was placed in the safe. Still defiant, she said, “I know the safe’s password. Is there really any point in hiding it?”

“You’re right, there isn’t.”

Su Ningshang stood there, her exquisitely tailored long dress clinging to her slender legs and tall figure. Her fingers toyed with the safe’s lock, the metallic sheen flickering between light and shadow as she turned the dial.

The tightly drawn curtains blocked out the noise from outside as Su Ningshang locked the safe containing the visa right in front of her.

“But this is the first time you’ve ever put your heart into something behind my back. The safe is worthy of its contents.”

Even though the visa had originally been Su Ningyue’s hard-won prize, now that it lay in Su Ningshang’s safe, it had become Su Ningshang’s property. Enraged, Su Ningyue lunged to snatch it back.

Her hand barely touched the safe before Su Ningshang yanked her forward, pinning her against the desk. In that instant, the eighteen years of moral principles Su Ningyue had held dear crumbled to dust.

This time, there was no need to feign ignorance as she had after accidentally drinking the “hangover remedy” on their first night together. With Su Ningshang’s repeated declarations of “You are mine,” Su Ningyue now understood her fate.

After that night, Su Ningyue continued her routine of going to school and returning home to sleep, outwardly unchanged.

But she knew she had lost her freedom, trapped in an invisible cage built by Su Ningshang.

Until Su Ningshang grew tired of her.

Every gust of wind carried a premonition. Su Ningshang’s resistance was her last vestige of restraint and reason. The wind in the cemetery, however, brought with it a light, drizzling rain.

Rain pattered against the tombstone and Su Ningyue’s pale face, the chill tolerable. Compared to returning to the car, staying here felt less unbearable.

The deliberate, softened click of heels approached, and a black umbrella shielded her from the downpour.

Su Ningyue hesitated for a few seconds before slowly lifting her head. The still-bright daylight pierced her eyes, blurring her vision.

Su Ningshang’s shirt sleeves were rolled up, revealing a slender stretch of wrist. Age seemed a mere number to her; she remained unchanged from Su Ningyue’s childhood memories, bearing only the dignified composure bestowed by time.

“Why did you come?”

“Seeing you had no intention of leaving, I couldn’t let you stand here in the rain alone.” Su Ningshang gestured toward the tombstone. “I won’t disturb you.”

The tilted umbrella swayed slightly in the wind, and the back of Su Ningshang’s shirt gradually became translucent with dampness.

Su Ningyue watched silently before turning away again.

She was no longer getting wet, but the rain that had soaked her earlier seeped silently into her collar, leaving her feeling slightly chilled.

Yet Su Ningshang must be even colder.

It was a silent standoff.

Finally, Su Ningyue rose to her feet. Her knees had grown numb, and she stumbled as she stood, only to be caught in Su Ningshang’s arms.

Su Ningshang was unusually cold, but Su Ningyue didn’t mind, obediently letting her support her.

Raindrops soaked Su Ningshang’s long hair, her voice becoming damp as she said, “Let’s take shelter in the car first. We can come back when the rain stops.”

Su Ningyue glanced at the tombstone one last time. “No need,” she replied. “Let’s just go home.”

With that, she gripped the umbrella handle, straightening its tilted angle. Her gaze swept across Su Ningshang’s shoulder before quickly shifting away.

The two walked silently down the mountain. A few raindrops, carried by the wind, splashed onto Su Ningyue’s delicate skin, forming crystalline beads. As Su Ningshang reached out to brush them away, Su Ningyue’s eyelashes fluttered heavily.

“When I was looking at their photos by the tombstone,” Su Ningyue said, “I was imagining what they must have been like when they were young.”

Su Ningshang suggested, “If you want to see more, we could visit the house they lived in. There are many photos of them there.”

Su Ningyue shook her head with a smile. “What I was imagining was how I looked at them when I was a child. If Jiang Jinsui and I hadn’t been switched at birth, my life would have been completely different. But time can’t be turned back.”

There was never a “what if” option. One could only keep moving forward along the path they had already taken.

Rain washed away the path behind them in layers, the asphalt road about to merge into the flat parking lot.

Su Ningshang said, “Then I won’t see you anymore.”

Su Ningyue smiled. “Actually, that might be for the best.”

The hand draped over her shoulder tightened the moment the words left her lips. Su Ningyue’s expression remained unchanged, but she continued, knowing Su Ningshang wouldn’t like it: “Actually, I don’t need you to hold an umbrella for me anymore.”

Su Ningshang’s voice remained calm. “But Ningning, I won’t let you get caught in the rain.”

“You know I’m not talking about this rain.”

“Neither am I.”

Su Ningyue’s eyes flickered, her beautiful gaze brimming with complex emotions, words caught in her throat.

The bodyguard opened the car door for them. As she was ushered inside, Su Ningyue realized they were in the back seat. A soft, dry towel landed on her head, and Su Ningshang gently began drying her hair. Overwhelmed by this all-encompassing care, Su Ningyue abruptly gripped Su Ningshang’s arm.

Su Ningshang paused, her eyes questioning.

Su Ningyue’s voice trembled as she pressed her hand against Su Ningshang’s shoulder. “You’re my sister.”

The rain outside intensified, its drumming on the car roof growing more insistent.

Su Ningshang studied Su Ningyue’s every expression with unwavering clarity. She reached out to wipe away the tears on her face. “Do you even remember the last time you called me ‘Sister’?”

Su Ningyue hadn’t considered this before. She began searching her memory for the last time she had addressed Su Ningshang as “Sister.”

Su Ningshang didn’t give her much time to recall, cutting straight to the answer: “Not since the night our immigration visas were delivered.”

Su Ningshang didn’t mind this.

If being a sister couldn’t keep Su Ningyue, she could simply stop being one.

Leaning down, Su Ningshang kissed Su Ningyue. Su Ningyue kicked out with her unrestrained legs, but the harder she struggled, the deeper and more forceful Su Ningshang’s kisses became. When Su Ningshang’s hand slid beneath her skirt to grip her skin, deliberately tightening its hold, Su Ningyue finally stilled, daring not to move further.

Forcing her head aside to break free from the kiss, Su Ningyue gasped, “The bodyguard… he’s still outside!”

Su Ningshang gently brushed aside the stray strands of hair framing Su Ningyue’s forehead, redirecting her kiss to her ear. “He can’t see us,” she murmured, her breath warm against her skin. “And even if he could, he wouldn’t dare to look.”

Several towering SUVs surrounded the Bentley, blocking all lines of sight. Su Ningyue felt cold sweat trickling down her stiff back, belatedly regretting her earlier words.

Desperate to appeal to Su Ningshang’s reason, she forced out a strained whisper, “This is a cemetery. There will be other visitors. What if someone looks in from the front?”

Su Ningshang pressed her lips against Su Ningyue’s again, her soothing tone gentle, but her words sent a chill through Su Ningyue: “As long as you don’t make a sound, no one will notice us.”

Su Ningshang’s rain-chilled fingers gradually warmed, growing increasingly hot. Su Ningyue sobbed as she struggled, her vision blurring with tears.

Outside, the rain continued to fall relentlessly. The intimate sound of water lapping against the car left Su Ningyue nowhere to hide. A word escaped her throat involuntarily: “Sister…”

Su Ningshang let out a long, damp “Shhh,” her voice dripping with possessiveness as each syllable invaded Su Ningyue’s senses: “Not your sister. Not anymore.”