Let Her Lose Control - Chapter 4

After leaving the cemetery, Su Ningyue followed Su Ningshang back to Cloud City. By the time the car stopped, the last rays of daylight had faded, and night had fallen.

Su Ningyue had traveled without luggage, carrying only a few identity documents. Returning felt like she had merely stepped downstairs for a quick errand—nothing had changed.

Su Ningshang changed her shoes and urged Su Ningyue, “Go take a shower and change your clothes.”

Su Ningyue’s damp clothes had long since dried in the car’s air conditioning. She glanced at Su Ningshang’s back and noticed her white shirt had also returned to its original color, showing no trace of ever having been soaked.

Catching her gaze, Su Ningshang chuckled. “I’ll go shower too.”

Su Ningyue froze, her body tensing as she watched Su Ningshang warily, fearing she might try to join her.

Su Ningshang’s gaze swept across her face, but without a word, she headed straight to her own bedroom.

Only then did Su Ningyue relax and retreat to her bathroom, sinking into the bathtub.

As she tapped the tablet on the shelf to open a video app, Shu Xuan’s award-winning film was prominently featured on the homepage.

Scrolling through other new releases, she eventually circled back and clicked on Shu Xuan’s film, Twin.

Twin is an art film about a woman’s redemption. The trailer skillfully blended overused tropes like rainy nights, the stench of mud, unexpected events, and loss of control into a dark and atmospheric montage.

Even though Shu Xuan only appeared in a single shot showing her back, the audience watching the trailer felt an immediate connection to her. But Shu Xuan’s Best Actress award wasn’t solely due to the director’s vision; it was primarily a testament to her own acting prowess.

After watching the trailer and getting a general sense of the film’s themes, Su Ningyue clicked on the full movie.

The protagonist, orphaned by her troubled family, flees to a distant land with her mother to escape her father’s gambling debts. There, she meets the village chief’s daughter, who helps her gradually emerge from the shadows and enroll in a vocational school to learn a trade. But their newfound peace is short-lived. Just as the protagonist is about to graduate, her father and his debt collectors track her down.

The protagonist watches helplessly as her friend, the one who pulled her out of the mire, dies for her. By the time the police arrive, it’s too late. Day after day, night after lonely night, the protagonist is left without the friend who understood her and helped her find redemption. That vibrant, lively girl remains forever frozen in that humid summer night.

Later, the protagonist becomes her friend, carrying on all her habits and wishes, walking toward the horizon under the setting sun.

Death had taken her angel, but the protagonist found another way to immortalize her in the world, until death would finally separate them completely.

The film’s oppressive atmosphere made Su Ningyue fast-forward through most of it, finishing in just forty minutes. The long soak in hot water had left her chest feeling slightly stuffy. At that moment, a knock came at the bathroom door, which was pushed open a hand’s width.

Su Ningshang’s voice drifted in from outside: “Still not done?”

Su Ningyue murmured a response, but it was drowned out by the closing credits song.

How should I remember you on this lonely rainy night?

How should I recall you from these fragmented memories?

Su Ningshang seemed to hear the music too, pausing for a few seconds before asking, “Watching Twin?”

“Yes,” Su Ningyue replied.

Unable to see Su Ningshang’s expression outside the door, she only heard the elder sister’s reminder: “Don’t stay in too long.”

The bathroom door closed again.

Su Ningyue hummed along to the melody of the closing credits song. After half a minute, she finally remembered where she recognized the tune from—a singer had performed this song at the Hundred Flowers Awards ceremony.

It was during that performance that the camera had panned across the audience, capturing Su Ningshang and Shu Xuan in the same frame. Only then had Su Ningyue patiently watched the rest of the live broadcast.

Given just a few lyrics, Su Ningshang’s deduction that she was watching Twin was perfectly reasonable.

As Su Ningyue emerged from drying her hair, the aroma of cooked food wafted from the dining room. In the corner of the European-style living room stood a consecrated jade statue, specially commissioned by her mother after Su Ningyue moved out of the Su Family home. It had cost over three million yuan and was said to bring academic success. Su Ningyue had passed it countless times, and each time she saw it, she couldn’t help but chuckle.

Back then, Su Ningshang had insisted she complete the ritual with the master, pressing her to bow before the statue. Su Ningyue, exasperated, blurted out, “What if I get too good grades and try to take over the company when I grow up?”

Su Ningshang paused, looking genuinely thoughtful. “Perfect,” she replied. “You can take care of me in my old age.”

As Su Ningyue recalled this long-forgotten memory, a mix of emotions stirred within her. She skirted around the jade statue and headed toward the dining table.

Su Ningshang was standing by the window, talking on the phone.

“She’s already back. Yeah, she changed her mind and doesn’t want to go anymore. No particular reason.”

“It’s her only weekend off. Going home would be too much of a hassle.”

After listening for a few moments, Su Ningyue asked, “Is that Mom?”

Su Ningshang turned, her gaze first sweeping over Su Ningyue’s freshly dried hair before answering, “Mm.”

The person on the other end of the line seemed to have heard Su Ningyue’s voice. Su Ningshang asked, “Mom wants you to come home tomorrow. Xiao Jin will be there too. Do you want to go?”

It’s never good to refuse an invitation from elders, so Su Ningyue obediently replied, “Alright.”

After hanging up, Su Ningshang walked to the dining table. “Your aunt in Sweden called the Su Family, worried something had happened to you. She was asking about you.”

Su Ningyue had already told her aunt she wouldn’t be going to Sweden for now, so she was surprised her aunt would call the Su Family. She sat down across from Su Ningshang. “Oh.”

“Mom will probably ask tomorrow why you didn’t board the plane,” Su Ningshang said, ladling a bowl of chicken soup for Su Ningyue. The soup had been simmering all afternoon, its rich aroma of mushrooms and chicken filling the air.

Su Ningshang scooped up a spoonful and held it to Su Ningyue’s lips. “Have you decided what to say?”

Steam rose in gentle waves as Su Ningyue lowered her head to drink the soup, repeating the words she had overheard Su Ningshang say earlier: “I regretted it and didn’t want to go anymore. No particular reason.”

Su Ningshang seemed surprised by her cooperation. She sat across from Su Ningyue, occasionally picking up food for her and glancing at her.

Su Ningyue found it increasingly difficult to ignore that gaze. After a moment, she asked, “Aren’t you afraid I’ll tell the truth?”

Su Ningshang seemed to have been waiting for this question.

“If you wanted to tell the truth, why didn’t you say so last month?”

This refers to the period after the immigration visa arrived.

Su Ningyue tensed her shoulders and looked up at Su Ningshang.

Su Ningshang’s robe had no buttons, its two sides held together by a loosely tied sash. The collar hung low, revealing damp strands of hair that left faint watermarks on her skin—a picture of languid maturity.

“You didn’t tell them at first because you were afraid I’d find out? That doesn’t make sense. If you had told them, they wouldn’t have stood by idly. Even if I wanted to stop you, I couldn’t have done anything for a while. It was actually the quickest way for you to leave me.”

Su Ningshang chuckled. “Were you afraid to tell them, or did you simply not want to?”

Faced with this unwavering confidence that Su Ningyue would never reveal their relationship, Su Ningyue suddenly fell silent.

The star-hotel meal spread across the table lost all its appeal.

After a moment, Su Ningyue’s shoulders relaxed. “Why wouldn’t I want to tell them?” she asked.

Su Ningshang smiled, a hint of indulgence in her expression. “That’s something you’ll have to ask yourself. After all, I don’t know everything about you. Like when you went to Rong City—I almost couldn’t find you.”

A wave of frustration surged through Su Ningyue. She slammed her chopsticks down and stood up. “I’m full.”

Su Ningshang, rarely one to chase after Su Ningyue after a spat, watched her retreating figure, a silent smile curving her lips. She picked up her phone and instructed her assistant, “Send over some barbecue in two hours.”

The assistant acknowledged the request. Su Ningshang paused, then added, “And bring a small bottle of cola, the smallest size.”

At ten o’clock, Su Ningshang knocked on Su Ningyue’s door. Su Ningyue was lying on her stomach on the bed, memorizing her notes. Her nightgown draped loosely over her, revealing her fair, slender legs.

She seemed to have just woken up from a nap, her eyes still hazy with sleep. Seeing Su Ningshang enter, she yawned softly, picked up the notes resting under her chin, and flipped over, pretending to continue reading.

Su Ningshang sat down at the vanity. “Come here.”

Reluctantly, Su Ningyue rolled off the bed but remained standing, refusing to sit in the chair Su Ningshang had pulled over.

“Sit down yourself, or do you want me to carry you over?” Su Ningshang asked calmly.

Remembering the last time she’d been held on Su Ningshang’s lap and treated like a late-night snack, Su Ningyue frowned and reluctantly sat down.

Su Ningshang opened the barbecue box and handed Su Ningyue a pair of chopsticks. “It’s not as fragrant as when it was freshly grilled, but it’ll do.”

After a few bites, Su Ningshang twisted open the cola bottle and handed it to her.

Su Ningshang usually forbade her from eating such things, especially carbonated drinks, which were strictly prohibited. It was obvious Su Ningshang was trying to coax her.

Su Ningyue slowed her chewing.

“Don’t eat too much. It’ll be hard to digest tonight and might cause heatiness,” Su Ningshang said, wearing disposable gloves as she removed the skewers for Su Ningyue. “It can also cause breakouts.”

When Su Ningyue was preparing for high school entrance exams, she panicked seeing other girls develop acne and even suggested eating only clear broth with boiled vegetables, completely avoiding oily foods.

“Oh, then I’ll eat more,” Su Ningyue said, touching her face, acting uncharacteristically defiant. “If my face breaks out and I become ugly, you won’t want to kiss me anymore, right?”

Su Ningshang focused on the barbecue skewers in her hands. “You can try.”

Older people always had such composure. In this regard, Su Ningyue could never match Su Ningshang.

That night, she slept without dreams.

The next day, Su Ningyue returned to the Su Family home with Su Ningshang.

Habit was a terrifying thing.

Though Su Ningyue had moved out of the Su Family home over half a year ago, every time she returned, everything remained exactly as she had left it. From the position of her special slippers in the entryway shoe cabinet to the sofa where she liked to sit cross-legged.

As soon as Su Ningyue returned home, she seemed to transform back into the carefree second young mistress of the Su Family, with no worries in the world.

When Su Ningshang led Su Ningyue through the door, Jiang Jinsui was descending the stairs. Seeing them, she greeted them with a smile, “Sister, Xiaoyue.”

After discovering the hospital mix-up, the Su Family had reinvestigated the events of that day, even uncovering Su Ningyue and Jiang Jinsui’s exact birth times. Consequently, Su Ningyue began addressing Jiang Jinsui by the same title she had used when Jiang Jinsui first asked her to donate bl00d: “Jinsui-jie.”

Apart from their age, Jiang Jinsui had taken the college entrance exam early in her second year of high school and was now studying aerospace engineering at Yun University. Though technically the same age as Su Ningyue, she carried herself with a maturity that made her seem older.

Contrary to the dramatic, “true vs. fake heiress” conflicts outsiders might have imagined, Su Ningyue and Jiang Jinsui shared a genuine bond. After Su Yun called Su Ningshang to her study, Jiang Jinsui sat beside Su Ningyue, keeping her company.

“I heard Mom mention you were planning to immigrate to Sweden,” Jiang Jinsui said. “I couldn’t believe it at first. I’m so glad you changed your mind.”

Su Ningyue took a small sip of her juice. “You didn’t want me to go?”

“The climate there is harsh year-round compared to China, and the language is notoriously difficult to learn,” Jiang Jinsui replied. “If you really want to study abroad, I’d recommend the UK or the US instead.”

Jiang Jinsui’s assessment of Sweden mirrored Su Ningshang’s perfectly—no surprise, given they were sisters.

Jiang Jinsui added, “If you go abroad to study, Sister will definitely miss you the most.”

Su Ningyue’s heart skipped a beat.

Jiang Jinsui propped her head with her hand, her gaze catching the flicker of panic in Su Ningyue’s eyes. She chuckled, “Why so nervous? You’ve been with Sister for nearly twenty years. Isn’t it natural for her to favor you and not want you to leave? I’m not jealous.”

Su Ningyue bit her lip and mumbled, “Oh…”

So that’s what she meant.

Afraid her unusual behavior might arouse suspicion, Su Ningyue quickly changed the subject, asking Jiang Jinsui about the differences between university and high school. Having just started university a few months ago, Jiang Jinsui had plenty to say, and the conversation drifted endlessly until she was completely distracted.

When Su Ningshang came downstairs, Su Yun called Su Ningyue over again.

As Su Ningyue brushed past Su Ningshang, she regretted not asking more about how to explain her absence last night. If her story didn’t match Su Ningshang’s, she’d be exposed.

Yet Su Ningshang’s expression remained perfectly normal, leaving Su Ningyue to face this dilemma alone.

Su Ningyue took a deep breath and entered the study.

As expected, Su Yun’s first question was about why Su Ningyue hadn’t boarded the plane.

Recalling Jiang Jinsui’s recent comments about Sweden’s climate and language, Su Ningyue decided to use that as her excuse.

“Xiao Shang just told me the same thing, and I thought she was just brushing me off,” Su Yun said, her hand pausing mid-stroke on the bamboo painting. She stepped back to admire the fresh strokes before turning to Su Ningyue with a smile. “It seems our little Yue is still growing up.”

By sheer luck, Su Ningyue had guessed correctly. Too embarrassed to correct the misunderstanding, she let it fester.

Su Yun dipped her brush in paint again, this time adding more water for a lighter stroke. “Your sister’s apartment is closer to school, but she’s so busy with work she might not be able to look after you properly. It would be much more convenient for you to move back home. The driver can take you to school every day—it’ll only add ten minutes to your commute. What do you say?”

This wasn’t the first time Su Yun had suggested this. When Su Ningyue first moved out, Su Yun had opposed the idea. But at the time, considering Jiang Jinsui’s situation, staying with Su Ningshang had seemed like the best arrangement.

Su Ningyue had no strong feelings about it, but she doubted Su Ningshang would agree.

Su Ningyue remained distracted for quite some time.

By the time she snapped out of her thoughts, Su Yun had already steered the conversation toward Su Ningshang’s romantic life.

Su Ningshang was already twenty-eight years old. After coming out to her family years ago, she hadn’t been seen with anyone, though gossip tabloids had linked her to a string of celebrities.

“I had someone investigate Shu Xuan,” Su Yun said. “Her family background is clean, she hasn’t been in the entertainment industry long, and she signed with Huachen early on. She probably hasn’t gotten involved in any of the industry’s messy relationships. You live with your sister—is this for real?”

So this was the real reason they’d been called back.

Su Ningyue wanted to help Su Yun understand, but she couldn’t quite grasp Su Ningshang’s attitude either. She could only offer what she knew: “Sister Shu Xuan has visited our home a few times. She signed autographs for me and took photos with me. Their relationship seems pretty good—Sister Ningshang is presenting Shu Xuan’s award this time.”

Su Yun finished painting the last bamboo leaf and turned her head. “That’s all?”

Su Ningyue nodded. “That’s all.”

Su Yun hummed in response, her tone ambiguous—it was impossible to tell whether she hoped Su Ningshang and Shu Xuan would get together or whether she wished they would maintain a strictly professional relationship.

Noticing Su Yun needed a brush, Su Ningyue handed her a clean one, probing cautiously, “Mom, what do you think of Sister Shu Xuan?”

Su Yun took the brush, the sunlight streaming through the window illuminating her face with a serene, ageless grace. “As an elder, I hope your sister finds a suitable partner to marry. But as her mother, after all these years, I’ve come to accept her orientation. If she truly loves Shu Xuan, they should settle down soon. The wedding itself isn’t important; what matters is having someone by her side. That would give me some peace of mind.”

Su Yun’s concern stemmed from Su Ningshang’s work environment. The Entertainment Industry was notoriously chaotic, and Su Ningshang’s frequent social engagements meant she often relied on her assistant for support. A devoted partner would be far more reliable.

Su Ningyue nodded, gazing absently at the painting.

Images from the film Twin flashed through her mind.

She wanted to add that the film for which Shu Xuan had won awards seemed tailor-made for Su Ningshang. However, the second female lead in the movie was too young, lacking the maturity to protect her lover.

Su Yun glanced at Su Ningyue’s distracted expression and chuckled. “Why that look? Have you been sneaking around with a boyfriend at school lately?”

As the founder of Huachen Entertainment, Su Yun was more open-minded than most parents. “The reason you didn’t want to board the plane mid-trip… it wouldn’t happen to be because of that little boyfriend, would it?”

Su Ningyue averted her gaze, her face stiff as she retorted, “I don’t have one.”

Su Yun raised an eyebrow, choosing not to pry into the girl’s secret feelings.

After accompanying Su Yun as she finished her painting, Su Ningyue left the study. Su Yun instructed her, “If Xiao Shang asks, you can tell her what we discussed.”

Understanding Su Yun’s meaning, Su Ningyue nodded and left with the freshly completed painting.

Back in her room, the paint had already dried completely. Su Ningyue carefully laid the painting on her desk and began rolling it up from one end to avoid damaging the artwork.

As she tied it with a hair tie she had cut open, she suddenly realized someone was behind her, startling her so badly that her thumb pressed down hard on the rolled-up painting, leaving a deep crease.

Frustrated, she glared at the culprit behind her. “Couldn’t you knock before barging in?”

Su Ningshang casually snatched the painting from Su Ningyue’s hands and unfurled it. “Knocking would alert everyone that I’m in your room?”

“Just knock,” Su Ningyue retorted. “I’m not asking you to shout it from the rooftops.”

Su Ningshang found herself missing Su Ningyue’s sharp-tongued banter and couldn’t resist reaching out to touch her cheek.

Su Ningyue recoiled. “What do you want?”

Su Ningshang didn’t mind and withdrew her hand. “What did Mom want with you? You were gone for ages.”

Su Ningyue answered truthfully, “She went to investigate Shu Xuan’s family background.”

The rest didn’t need explaining.

Su Ningshang frowned. “Why is Mom starting to believe these rumors too?”

Su Ningyue took two steps back, creating distance. “It’s not entirely baseless.”

Su Ningshang’s eyes darkened. “What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing. If you plan to bring her home, just let me know in advance so I can pack my things and move out.”

Su Ningshang’s frown deepened as she turned Su Ningyue’s face toward her. “Take that back.”

Su Ningyue lowered her gaze, her long lashes casting shadows on her cheeks. “I can’t take it back. Just pretend you didn’t hear it.”

Su Ningshang stared at Su Ningyue, silent and immovable as a mountain.

Su Ningyue continued to look at the floor.

The second hand on the wall clock ticked around and around.

Su Ningshang asked, “Do you think Shu Xuan and I are a good match?”

Su Ningyue considered for a moment before replying, “No. She’s a celebrity. If you two get together, it’ll definitely attract a lot of negative attention about same-s3x relationships, which would be bad for you.”

In a way, she shared the conservative views of her elders, even being stricter than them when it came to Su Ningshang’s affairs.

Su Ningshang gave Su Ningyue a deep look before turning toward the bedroom door. “I understand,” she said.

Su Ningyue let out a barely perceptible sigh of relief. She had forgotten to charge her phone before leaving and was about to look for a charger when footsteps approached from behind.

Before she could react, Su Ningyue was pulled into a tight embrace around her waist. Startled, she struggled to push away.

Su Ningshang, stronger, pinned Su Ningyue’s resisting hands together. “How long have you been thinking about how Shu Xuan might damage my reputation?”

The warm breath tickling Su Ningyue’s ear made her squirm. “Mom just mentioned it,” she protested, trying to evade. “If you want to know more, ask her.”

Su Ningshang turned Su Ningyue around, her lips hovering an inch from hers. “Ningning,” she coaxed, “answer my question properly.”

“I already told you! What else do you want me to say?”

Su Ningshang’s fingers slowly traced Su Ningyue’s side, gradually tightening their grip. She knew Su Ningyue so well that even the slightest touch sent her body trembling uncontrollably.

The golden threads embroidered on Su Ningyue’s dress shimmered and swayed under the light, their delicate patterns undulating with each tremor.

In retaliation, Su Ningyue bit down hard on Su Ningshang’s shoulder, the metallic tang of bl00d quickly filling her mouth.

Yet Su Ningshang refused to release her, cradling Su Ningyue as if she were a precious jade artifact. After a couple of soothing pats, she leaned close to Su Ningyue’s left ear and whispered, “Are you truly worried about Shu Xuan’s influence on me, or are you more concerned about yourself?”

Su Ningyue refused to answer, her nerves stretched taut to the point of trembling. At some point, her clenched teeth loosened momentarily, allowing Su Ningshang to lift her chin and gently draw the bl00d from her lips.

Su Ningshang chuckled softly, her fingertips tracing a path down Su Ningyue’s cheek until they covered her mouth. Her voice lifted with amusement as she declared, “You can’t bear to see my reputation tarnished by even the slightest criticism.”