Let Her Lose Control - Chapter 7

Su Ningshang had witnessed Su Ningyue’s entire growth, but for Su Ningyue, from the moment she could remember, Su Ningshang had already been the standout among her peers.

Su Ningshang had perfectly inherited Bian Xiu’s deep, striking features—clean and beautiful. Even in her simple blue-and-white school uniform, she stood out in any crowd, like crystalline snow sparkling under the winter sun.

Su Ningyue was no exception.

She meticulously planned her time, following Su Ningshang’s example, attended every school Su Ningshang had attended, and even chose the same subjects—physics, chemistry, and biology—just as Su Ningshang had done when arts and sciences were not yet separated.

She blindly followed in Su Ningshang’s footsteps, her spoiled temperament and materially privileged life, far beyond that of her peers, all meticulously cultivated by Su Ningshang.

Eighteen years felt like an eternity. By the time Su Ningyue heard Su Ningshang say, “I’ve long molded you into my most beloved version of yourself,” she couldn’t even discern which parts of her hadn’t been touched by Su Ningshang’s influence.

Some of it was her own imitation of Su Ningshang, while other parts were Su Ningshang’s deliberate corrections.

In the past, Su Ningyue had loved hearing people praise her resemblance to Su Ningshang, just as a researcher would beam at being told their work deserved a Nobel Prize.

Back then, Su Ningshang had told her, “You are you, and I am me. Ningning doesn’t need to be like her sister. Just live happily.”

Su Ningyue had been deeply dissatisfied with this “you and me” approach. Turning to her birthday cake, she made a wish: “I want to be with my sister forever.”

This habit persisted for many years, becoming a tradition whenever she made birthday wishes.

But today, as Su Ningshang suddenly evoked these memories, Su Ningyue found herself in a different frame of mind.

If I had known we would be together in this way, she thought, I should have made fewer wishes.

The cold wind outside howled against the windows, its impact sounding less like rain and more like a heavy, oppressive force pressing down on the dark, chaotic sky.

Su Ningshang also noticed the unusual sound. Releasing Su Ningyue’s lips, she turned to look out the window.

It was snowing.

The first snowfall marked the official arrival of winter in Cloud City.

Whether she was working in her office or attending social events, Su Ningshang always had access to ample heating. Though Su Ningyue’s school was similarly equipped, Su Ningshang never forgot to buy her new winter clothes. “Once the snow stops, shall we go shopping for some new winter outfits?”

The earlier argument, like countless others before it, was tacitly dismissed, leaving only a faint trace in their hearts.

Su Ningyue panted softly, a faint, lustrous sheen lingering on her lips. “The school requires us to wear uniforms.”

Su Ningshang coaxed her, “You can still wear other clothes occasionally. If you don’t want to go out, I’ll pick some out and put them in your closet.”

Su Ningyue could only agree, “Okay.”

She thought that was the end of it for the night.

Halfway through her shower, the door lock clicked, and Su Ningshang suddenly entered, demanding she fulfill her belated “responsibility”: “Help me put on this waterproof patch.”

The bathroom lights were too bright. Su Ningyue didn’t want to see her own expression in the mirror; it couldn’t be good. In contrast, Su Ningshang turned around and casually stripped off her clothes, exposing her entire shoulder without a hint of awkwardness.

Su Ningyue stepped out from under the showerhead, her half-wet hand taking the waterproof patch. A drop of soapy water landed on the patch’s cotton pad, and she asked Su Ningshang for a new one.

The shower’s heat made the bite mark on Su Ningshang’s shoulder grow increasingly red. Su Ningyue felt she should say something to express her apology.

“Does it hurt?” The dried bl00d hadn’t been washed away yet, so it clearly did. The question was so lame she might as well have kept quiet.

Su Ningyue quickly changed her approach. “After I finish showering, I’ll help you apply some medicine, okay?”

“Since that’s the case,” Su Ningshang said, “I haven’t showered yet. We can save time by showering together.”

As she spoke, she began undressing in front of Su Ningyue, stepping into the shower and closing the glass door behind her.

Su Ningyue glanced around the cramped space, panicking. “It’s too crowded in here. It’s not convenient.”

“Crowded?” Su Ningshang paused, her hand still on her belt, and glanced at her. “Didn’t we shower together here just last week?”

Su Ningyue looked at Su Ningshang almost pleadingly, her lips moving silently, unable to form words.

Su Ningshang returned her gaze, her expression utterly calm amidst the sound of the running shower. It was as if she had simply come to ask her sister for help with a shower, her demeanor composed and steady.

“Just help me wash the bl00d off my wound and apply a waterproof bandage.”

After a few seconds of tense eye contact, Su Ningyue couldn’t refuse. “Alright.”

The wound wasn’t deep, making it easy to clean. The so-called “debridement” was simply wiping away the bl00d with a damp towel. Yet by the time she finished, Su Ningyue’s forehead was covered in a fine layer of sweat.

Su Ningshang had been watching her closely the entire time, her gaze growing heavy and damp like the shower’s spray. She wrapped her arms around Su Ningyue. “Why are you so tense?”

Su Ningyue finished applying the last corner of the waterproof bandage and shooed her away. “All done.”

“Really can’t join me?” Su Ningshang’s voice carried a scalding heat, even lower than before, barely audible beneath the rush of water.

Su Ningyue’s face flushed crimson, as if it could bleed. Her voice, muffled through the curtain of water, was firm. “No.”

“Fine.” Su Ningshang stepped out of the shower and into Su Ningyue’s bathtub, selecting one of her favorite bath bomb spheres.

As she dropped it into the water, blue-purple foam bloomed across the surface, swirling currents carrying streaks of gold glitter. The custom-blended fragrance quickly filled the entire bathroom.

Su Ningyue gritted her teeth until her jaw ached. After a quick rinse, she slammed the glass door shut and stormed out.

Half an hour later, Su Ningshang also lay down on the bed.

Or rather, was carried to the bed.

Tonight, Su Ningshang seemed in high spirits, yet her lingering hesitation to make a move left Su Ningyue on edge. Especially after Su Ningshang climbed into bed and pressed herself against Su Ningyue’s back, wrapping her arms tightly around her.

Two sets of pajamas lay draped across the foot of the bed. Su Ningshang murmured, “Sleep close.”

Su Ningyue remembered, “I haven’t applied your medicine yet.”

“The adhesive patches contain medicinal powder,” Su Ningshang said. “No need to trouble yourself.”

“But how am I supposed to sleep like this?” The room was already kept at a constant temperature by the air conditioning, and being held so tightly made Su Ningyue feel overheated.

Su Ningshang covered Su Ningyue’s eyes. “If you want to wake up early tomorrow to study, you’d better stay still.”

Su Ningyue immediately froze.

For the next week, Su Ningyue deliberately avoided contact with Su Ningshang to prevent anything from happening between them. She packed her daily schedule even tighter than when she was at school, immersing herself in a sea of practice problems until she was completely exhausted.

Aside from brief exchanges during meals, she acted as if Su Ningshang didn’t exist, burying herself in her studies until she was completely drained.

On Friday, Su Ningyue received a WeChat message from Yu Qingci, her childhood friend who was studying at a boarding school in England.

Yu Qingci had come home early for winter break. Her flight landed that morning, and she wanted to meet up that evening. Su Ningyue eagerly agreed, picked out her favorite outfit, and left early.

In the car, she received a call from Jiang Jinsui. “Sister Ning Shang just asked me about early admission recommendations. Which university are you planning to apply to?”

Su Ningyue’s good mood vanished instantly. “You said Sister Ning Shang asked you about early admission?”

Jiang Jinsui didn’t notice the odd tone in Su Ningyue’s voice. “Yeah, I guess since you were aiming for a top provincial score on the gaokao, your family didn’t think about early admission. Maybe because you’re willing to study in Sweden, they figured getting you into the early admission program would ease some of the pressure?”

Su Ningyue’s voice was stiff. “I see.”

Jiang Jinsui belatedly realized the strangeness in Su Ningyue’s tone. “Xiao Yue, you didn’t know about this?”

Su Ningyue didn’t know what to say.

She was about to attend a university she hadn’t even applied to, while everyone else seemed to know about it.

Early admission candidates typically excel in a specific subject. Su Ningyue had chosen physics, chemistry, and biology, which meant she’d likely be steered toward a related field.

She had little interest in these highly specialized disciplines, and despite being eligible for early admission, she hadn’t mentioned it to her family.

Now Jiang Jinsui was telling her that Su Ningshang had been inquiring about it—and perhaps even arranging it.

Was this because Su Ningyue had secretly applied for an immigration visa? Was Su Ningshang afraid she’d leave again after the gaokao and seizing this opportunity to secure her future for the next few years?

Su Ningyue’s hand trembled as she gripped her phone. “Did Sister Ning Shang mention which university she wants me to attend?”

She guessed it must be Yun University.

It was the same school as Jiang Jinsui and not far from home.

It was also close to Su Ningshang.

Jiang Jinsui said, “She didn’t tell me which school it was. Oh, right! My sister specifically asked me if I’d take the opportunity to apply early if it came up before my college entrance exam. I said, ‘Of course I would!’ I’m already taking the exam in my second year of high school—the sooner I can be done with it, the better. So, are you actually going to apply early?”

Su Ningyue didn’t commit. “I’ll think about it. It’s still early.”

Jiang Jinsui, having just finished her own exam, understood perfectly. “I get it, I get it. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You’ll ace the regular exam for sure.”

Before they knew it, the taxi had arrived at the agreed-upon meeting spot with Yu Qingci. As soon as Su Ningyue stepped out, she saw Yu Qingci, shivering in the cold wind and waving, prioritizing style over warmth.

As they settled into the restaurant, Su Ningyue’s phone rang again. The number wasn’t saved, but she knew Su Ningshang’s number by heart.

Since turning off her phone wasn’t an option while out, Su Ningyue hung up and immediately put it on silent mode.

After three missed calls, Su Ningshang sent a WeChat message:

Ningning, I asked my assistant to deliver dinner to you, but she said no one was home. Did you go out?

When will you be back? Should I come pick you up?

Su Ningyue took a photo of Yu Qingci and sent it without explanation before the screen went dark again as she resumed browsing the menu.

Seeing Su Ningyue’s action, Yu Qingci teased with a laugh, “Seriously? You’re eighteen and still have to report to your family?”

“It’s different when you’re used to being left to your own devices in England,” Su Ningyue retorted, showing Yu Qingci the photo. “I even found the perfect lighting and angle for you.”

Yu Qingci didn’t mind at all and pulled Su Ningyue closer, launching into stories about her high school days in England.

After dinner, Yu Qingci dragged Su Ningyue across the street to a bar, suggesting the restaurant had been chosen for its proximity to nightlife.

The bar’s music was deafening, even in their semi-private booth. Su Ningyue felt increasingly uncomfortable. Just as she was finishing her third glass of juice, Yu Qingci pinched her ear in mock disapproval. “Xiao Yueyue, you’re such a buzzkill! Are you treating this bar like a bubble tea shop?”

Yu Qingci even adopted an adult act, inviting two attractive girls from the dance floor to join them for drinking games. When Su Ningyue casually asked their ages, she learned they were both university students in their early twenties. Yet Yu Qingci had somehow convinced them to call her and Su Ningyue “elder sisters.”

Su Ningyue’s head was spinning. The moment she heard that title, she felt even more dizzy. “You do you,” she said, “just don’t drag me into this.”

“What do you mean ‘playing around’? Can’t I just chat with them and get more familiar with our culture?” Yu Qingci even managed to trick Su Ningyue into opening several bottles of wine. The money wasn’t the issue; Su Ningyue was just worried she’d drink too much and reluctantly stayed by her side.

Two hours later, the bar’s heavy metal music temporarily switched to folk DJ sets. Yu Qingci, thoroughly drunk, finally collapsed against Su Ningyue, her entire face flushed. She wrapped her arms around Su Ningyue’s waist and nuzzled against her, murmuring, “Xiao Yueyue, you’re so soft…”

Su Ningyue poked Yu Qingci’s cheek in disgust. “You’re burning up! Let go already.”

Yu Qingci clung to her like a tipsy kitten, refusing to release her grip. Her hand accidentally brushed aside the corner of Su Ningyue’s shirt. “Huh?” she murmured, her paw-like hand reaching out to touch the mottled marks on Su Ningyue’s shoulder. She rubbed her eyes hard, realizing the marks didn’t look like insect bites.

Su Ningyue’s face darkened.

As if discovering a new continent, Yu Qingci sobered up instantly. “Xiao Yueyue, you’ve been dating behind my back? And someone like this? Can your little body even handle it?”

Su Ningyue pushed Yu Qingci’s head away and tugged her shirt back into place. “No. Don’t ask.”

Yu Qingci leaned in again. “Your sister actually lets you date this early?”

Su Ningyue blinked awkwardly, slightly embarrassed.

How could she possibly explain this?

Should she say that these marks were kisses left by the “sister” Yu Qingci had mentioned, early this morning, when she wasn’t fully sober?

Or that if Yu Qingci had asked her out just two days later, these marks might have been even more pronounced?

After a brief silence, Su Ningyue stood up. “I’m going to the restroom.”

Su Ningyue was strikingly beautiful and young, her meticulously cultivated purity clashing with the bar’s atmosphere. Even the short walk to and from the restroom drew several unwanted advances.

She awkwardly declined each one. When she returned, she found Yu Qingci alone at the booth, the wine glasses pushed aside as if she were about to leave.

Seeing her return, Yu Qingci waved her phone and announced, “Sister Ning Shang just called to ask where I am…”

Su Ningyue’s mind instantly cleared. She grabbed Yu Qingci’s arm and pulled her toward the cashier. “Let’s pay and get out of here.”

Yu Qingci, clinging to Su Ningyue’s arm, swayed unsteadily. “Sister Ning Shang is probably on her way. We won’t even need to take a taxi.”

Su Ningyue coaxed her, “You haven’t been back to China in ages, right? How about I take you somewhere even more fun?”

The thoroughly drunk Yu Qingci immediately took the bait. “Okay, okay!”