Let's Do Some Questions - Chapter 34

【A Man】: It would take too long and be too much trouble if I relayed messages. If you don’t mind, I can create a group chat on Question Bank, and I’ll just observe?

【Lingnan】: I don’t mind.

【A Man】: Okay, I’ll go ask Ah Q.

Song Man told Ah Q everything she knew about the situation, which wasn’t much, and then asked if Ah Q was willing to join a group chat to talk. Ah Q agreed.

A three-person group was formed. Song Man said they should chat and she would observe.

【Lingnan】: Is the person you know the same person I know?

【Ah Q】: If it’s the girl who even writes mathematical letters in cursive, then we’re probably talking about the same person.

【Lingnan】: hhhhhh That’s her habit.

Lingnan sent a photo. It was a girl smiling directly at the camera with her arms crossed. She had a striking look, clearly someone proud and confident.

【Ah Q】: That’s her.

【Lingnan】: How did you two meet? Are you still in touch?

【Ah Q】: We went to the same middle school. We used to be friends and participated in competitions together. We still chat occasionally now.

【Lingnan】: That… that’s great. It means you still count as a friend in her heart. If she didn’t think highly of someone, she wouldn’t even bother saying a word.

【Lingnan】: How has she been recently? Can you see her updates?

【Ah Q】: One moment, I’ll check.

【Lingnan】: Thank you!

While Ah Q was checking that person’s updates, Song Man had already taken the picture and name to Baidu.

Ke Lingyu, female, 20 years old, first place in the Youth Cup Physics Competition, first place in xxx competition, top scorer in the science stream Gaokao in xx province in xx year…

Beautiful appearance, genius girl.

Song Man raised an eyebrow. She was someone significant. The information also stated that she had represented the country in international competitions and was part of the national team.

Song Man felt a stir of excitement. She had also thought about participating in competitions and competing against strong opponents, but unfortunately, she couldn’t yet.

Speaking of which, what kind of complicated relationship could someone like this have with Lingnan?

【Ah Q】: I saw it. It seems she won another competition award a week ago. She’s currently abroad, and she looks quite well in the photos.

【Lingnan】: Okay… that’s good. Thank you.

Lingnan didn’t say anything more. Song Man was itching to ask for details but felt it was wrong to pry into someone’s privacy, so she decided against it. Just as she was about to put down her phone and say she was going to sleep, Lingnan spoke again.

【Lingnan】: Ah Q, are you still there?

【Lingnan】: I want to…

【Lingnan】: I…

【Ah Q】: I’m here.

【Lingnan】: Never mind, it’s nothing. Sorry.

Song Man could see Lingnan’s struggle through the screen. She seemed to want to say something but kept stopping herself.

【Ah Q】: It’s okay.

【Lingnan】: I actually… I… never mind… I’m really annoying like this.

Lingnan looked at the screen and gave a bitter smile.

She looked at her thin fingers. Her screen went dark, and she saw her current ugly reflection in the phone’s surface. She took a deep breath.

【A Man】: Don’t be so self-deprecating. Maybe saying it out loud will make you feel better. With your condition right now, it’s best not to bottle things up.

Song Man couldn’t help but type out some words of encouragement. She didn’t want to see someone so negative. People who are sick should keep a cheerful mood, otherwise, their condition can easily worsen.

【Lingnan】: Are you interested in hearing a story that goes against conventional morality?

【Lingnan】: I originally wanted to take all of this to my grave, but suddenly I felt unwilling. In this world, only she and I know about this. She must wish it had never happened. When I die, no one will ever know.

Lingnan felt breathless. Her fingers danced on the keyboard, her eyes fixed on the screen. She had been silent for too long. That matter had festered and sprouted in her heart, leaving her lost between fantasy and reality. The desire to confide had never been so strong, especially with someone else who knew her and also knew that person.

Chu Fengqiu had intended to leave the conversation.

She wasn’t a very curious person and was even unwilling to listen to others’ so-called “shared secrets.” Chu Fengqiu always believed that the less you knew, the less trouble you would have.

Before she could leave, she saw the two messages Lingnan sent. Her fingers froze, and she could only stare blankly at the screen.

【Lingnan】: She and I used to be good friends.

【Lingnan】: Later, I fell in love with her.

Song Man held her phone, her face blank.

Her mind buzzed, stunned for a moment.

Song Man was quite a straightforward straight girl. Before this, she had no idea about such things. She had never encountered it, so when the door to a new world suddenly opened for her, she was a bit slow to react.

There was no disgust, just surprise.

【Lingnan】: Where should I start the story? We’ve known each other for a long time, since we were about seven or eight. I loved playing with her since I was little, wondering how there could be such a beautiful and cool girl in the world, like a proud rose.

Chu Fengqiu looked at these words but glanced towards the room next door.

The person separated by just a wall was the most beautiful and coolest girl in her heart.

【Lingnan】: Later, due to changes in my family, I had to be separated from her. She was always good at studying since she was young, and for her, I was willing to work hard.

【Lingnan】: I didn’t want to be left behind by her at all. I wanted to walk side by side with her forever.

【Lingnan】: I liked her more and more, even to the point of being unable to stop myself, unable to control myself.

【Lingnan】: Do you know what it feels like to have a crush on someone? Your eyes and heart are full of her. If she smiles at me, I feel dizzy. If she smiles at someone else, I go crazy with jealousy.

【Lingnan】: On the day she turned eighteen, I couldn’t hold back anymore. With a joyful heart, I confessed to her.

Lingnan clutched her phone, unable to help but cover her chest. Sweat beaded on her forehead, and her face showed a hint of pain.

Song Man looked at this line and anxiously waited for what came next.

【A Man】: Did it work?

Song Man thought, if it had worked, things wouldn’t have ended up with them not even being friends anymore, considering their lifelong connection.

【Lingnan】: If only it could have worked… I lost, lost completely, to the point where I felt ugly myself.

【Lingnan】: She’s straight. Although she didn’t say anything harsh back then, I knew her so well, and she’s someone who doesn’t hide her emotions. How could I not see the disgust in her eyes? She must have thought I was disgusting.

【A Man】: Sigh…

Song Man didn’t know what to say, only that it was too tragic. But after all, sexual orientation is something…

【Lingnan】: My relationship with her entered a cold period. She started avoiding me, but I couldn’t stand her just starting to… Even though I knew the closer I got, the more she would dislike it, I couldn’t help myself.

【Lingnan】: So I did something very despicable.

【Lingnan】: When she was drunk, I made her… let me… on her.

Lingnan still remembered her madness at that time, the pain of being pierced by fingers, and the pathological satisfaction in her heart then.

She made Lingyu’s body warm, not daring to cause her any pain, so she decided to do it herself. That way, even if Lingyu kicked her away later and buried the unknown past, she would be clean, untouched by anyone else.

When Song Man saw this, she nearly dropped her phone on her face in shock.

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap!!!

What did she just see! What did her eyes just see!

Oh my god.

How the hell did that even work????

Song Man was stunned, her brain in a state of shutdown.

Chu Fengqiu next door also nearly lost her composure. Understanding this somewhat strange act, she felt she really should have left the conversation earlier. It made it a bit difficult for her to look at Ke Lingyu the same way.

【Lingnan】: That was truly the craziest thing I’ve ever done, but if I could do it over, I probably wouldn’t regret it. I shamelessly used it to blackmail her, using her guilt to deceive her. I knew she hated me and found me disgusting, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t care.

How could she not care? Lingnan typed this, but her heart was full of bitter smiles.

【Lingnan】: At that time, we hadn’t taken the Gaokao yet, we were only in our third year of high school. I told her to be my girlfriend, and as long as it was until the Gaokao ended, I would stop bothering her.

【Lingnan】: I thought, one year, within one year, as long as I tried my best to be good to her and let her see my sincerity, maybe there would be a chance for our situation to turn around.

【Lingnan】: But she found out that I had used her fingers myself back then, and it wasn’t her intentionally hurting me. She had a big fight with me. I begged her not to break up with me early.

【Lingnan】: Before I fell in love with her, I never knew I could be such a humble and pathetic person.

Lingnan remembered herself crying in the rain, begging Ke Lingyu not to leave her, and felt that she was clingy and disgusting back then.

She was the one who had done something wrong, yet she shamelessly hoped that person would forgive her.

【Lingnan】: She still didn’t forgive me.

【Lingnan】: She wasn’t willing to talk to me, wasn’t willing to get close to me.

【Lingnan】: Even when I tried my best to tempt her, she would only say I was disgusting.

Song Man fell silent, not knowing what to say.

It really did go against conventional morality. A wrong and fruitless love leading to the suffering of two people.

【Lingnan】: Perhaps this is retribution. I got cancer. When the diagnosis came out, I ran to tell her I was sick, but she asked what kind of trick I was trying to pull now.

【Lingnan】: I admit that before, I did think that since I was going to die, I hoped she could stay with me until then, continuing to use my previous methods to cling to her. But the moment she spoke, I didn’t say anything else. I probably had no credibility left with her.

【Lingnan】: I knew that no matter what I did, I could never make her like me again.

【Lingnan】: So I told her I was going abroad, that I was letting her go. She probably just wanted me to disappear from her world quickly, so she didn’t suspect anything at all.

【Lingnan】: When I first started treatment, I wanted to try hard to live. Whenever I was in pain and wanted to give up, for my family, and to see her, I endured.

【Lingnan】: But now I don’t know how much longer I can live. I really want to see her one last time before I die, but I don’t want to bother her.

【Lingnan】: May you be safe year after year, and may we never meet again in this life.

【Lingnan】: Even though she doesn’t want to see me.

Song Man didn’t know what to say anymore. She wanted to say something but could only sigh.

【Lingnan】: Thank you for listening to all this tonight. I’ve never dared to let my parents know, afraid they would go find Ke Lingyu to see me because of this. I also didn’t dare tell our mutual friends, because if she found out, she would definitely be angry with me, thinking I was too shameless to even tell others about something like this.

【Lingnan】: But I really couldn’t hold it in. I feel like I’m going to die soon.

【Lingnan】: The treatment is really painful, taking the medicine is really painful. I can feel them spreading in my body, tormenting me constantly, wearing down my will. Several times I’ve thought about just dying, but I don’t dare.

【Lingnan】: I think about how I’ve held on for so long, wasn’t it just to live? In front of my parents, I don’t dare show even a hint of negativity. They are already in so much pain because of me. If I give up first, they will definitely collapse.

【Lingnan】: Fortunately, there are still these questions supporting me. They remind me of the past when she taught me how to solve problems. It doesn’t seem so painful and sad anymore.

Song Man looked at the Question Bank app, feeling a mix of emotions.

Song Man chose to do problems because she wanted to train her thinking ability, to keep improving. Even if she couldn’t improve, she had to maintain her level, increase her efficiency, and swim freely in the ocean of learning. This was probably the reason why most students did problems.

But she never expected that one day, these problems would become someone’s solace.

【Lingnan】: I’m going offline now. When I have time next, I’ll find you two for a PK.

【Lingnan】: Thanks again hhhh, and please keep it a secret. If you participate in any emotional Q&A about a despicable love affair, at most, just censor her name.

【A Man】: No matter the reason, you must try hard to live on.

【Lingnan】: Okay, thank you.

Lingnan left the discussion group, and Song Man simply disbanded the group.

This gossip… was a bit hard to stomach.

Unexpectedly dumped with a load of information, Song Man felt wide awake, full of energy.

Humans are probably creatures who can never truly empathize. She could feel Lingnan’s pain, but she could only feel it. She knew she couldn’t help at all, or rather, she had no way to interfere in this matter.

Although she really wanted the other protagonist in the story to know about this, what difference would it make even if she did?

She could only be a silent listener, knowing this story and keeping quiet.

【A Man】: I feel a bit melancholic. I know she did something wrong, but I still feel so sorry for her.

【A Man】: If it were me, I’d probably think “If it’s not meant to be, don’t force it” the moment the confession failed.

【Ah Q】: But that’s hard to do, isn’t it?

Chu Fengqiu didn’t know why, but she could understand Lingnan’s thoughts a little. However, if it were her, she would never make things so tragic.

Song Man also didn’t know that asking one question could lead to so much. When she turned off her phone, she fell into thought.

How exactly do two girls… do that?

If it was according to what Lingnan said about fingers or something… Song Man secretly regretted studying science and biology and knowing about human anatomy.

Brain, quickly stop those dangerous thoughts!

However, the more you tell yourself not to think about something, the more your brain refuses to stop thinking about it.

Song Man desperately tried to close the door to the new world, and then found that the damn door was broken and wouldn’t close.