Little Fish and Mint - Chapter 12
“Attach to me.”
—Pfft!
Xu Yitong sprayed water all over her monitor.
She choked, a sour taste filling her mouth and nose, and coughed violently, clutching her mouth and scrambling for tissues, knocking over her water glass in the process.
“What happened over there, Tongtong?” Yiyi asked, concerned by the commotion.
“I… I’m fine! Just choked!” Xu Yitong stood up, covering the spilled water with tissues, and righted her glass.
After a few minutes, she was finally calm. Seeing the Yuumi aimlessly wandering through his minion wave, Yu Ge paused.
03:55 Ruo Yiyi (Bewitching Yuumi): Magical Cat – Alive
03:57 Ruo Yiyi (Bewitching Yuumi): Magical Cat – Alive
In League of Legends, when a teammate repeatedly pings “alive” on you in chat, it can be interpreted as:
A question / Praise / Concern (warning) / Impatience /
And when the pings reach a certain limit, it means a colorful string of curses is about to be unleashed.
Wiping her monitor, Xu Yitong sat back down.
“Stop spacing out! Attach to your ADC!” Yiyi reminded her.
Xu Yitong, her face burning, pressed W.
The Yuumi attached to Jinx.
As the enemy bot lane recalled, Jinx quietly farmed.
Neither of them spoke, a comfortable silence settling between them, punctuated only by the clicks of their mice.
Xu Yitong stared at the Yuumi, clinging to her ADC, imagining herself in the cat’s place, clinging to him.
Attach to me. To me.
She knew he hadn’t meant it that way, and tried not to overthink it.
But…
What if he was flirting?
She regretted not responding with something witty, like, “I’ll be right there,” showing him she was a worthy opponent.
She discreetly messaged Yiyi.
Zhenzhen: [Do you think Yu Ge meant that… that way, or was it a slip of the tongue…?]
Yiyi replied quickly: [What?]
Zhenzhen: [Didn’t you hear? He told me to attach to him! Does he like me?!]
Yiyi choked on her drink.
Panicked, Xu Yitong quickly sent: [Don’t react!]
Yiyi: [You misheard. He said ‘attach to him,’ not ‘attach to me.’ He meant in the game…]
Zhenzhen: [.]
Zhenzhen: [It’s fine. I’m getting new headphones tomorrow. (Cracking up)]
Xu Yitong, chastened, stopped overthinking.
Finally focusing on the game, she realized Jinx was low on health, while the enemy Lucian and Nami were almost full.
Feeling guilty for being a useless cat, she unmuted her mic. “Yu Ge, should I… do something?”
“No,” came his usual curt reply.
Jinx, giving up a wave of minions, recalled under tower.
He’s losing?
She vaguely remembered hearing that Yu Ge was an aggressive player, rarely on the defensive. But now, burdened by her uselessness, he was being forced back to base.
How could she let such a skilled ADC suffer this indignity?
“It’s my fault. I’m so bad,” she said, frustrated.
“Lucian-Nami is overpowered this patch. Jinx can’t match their early game damage. It’s normal to lose lane. Just trust Fish! He’ll be fine,” Yiyi reassured her.
Back in lane, Xu Yitong focused all her attention on Jinx, healing him instantly whenever he took damage.
Her mana quickly depleted.
Yu Ge remained silent.
Yiyi, repeatedly killed in the top lane, checked on their bot lane. She was reminded of the few times she’d played support for Yu Ge. He’d completely ignored her, worse than a boyfriend who refused to shower.
It was common knowledge: Fish didn’t “carry” girls.
He treated unfamiliar supports like air, offering no communication, no guidance, nothing.
He was incredibly aloof.
…
While new to the game, Xu Yitong wasn’t stupid.
The enemy bot lane, sensing their advantage, spammed question mark and “thumbs down” emotes.
The Nami player even spammed her dance, clearly looking down on them.
Annoyed, Xu Yitong muttered, “Are they… mocking us?”
As she spoke, Nami went for a trade. Lucian, busy farming, didn’t follow, and Jinx poked him down to one-third health. Yu Ge pinged the jungler.
“Are we fighting? Are we fighting?!” Xu Yitong felt a surge of excitement.
Their jungler, nearby, saw the opportunity and moved in to gank.
Yu Ge started pushing the wave.
Nami used her Oracle Lens to clear vision. As she moved forward, slightly out of position, Yu Ge placed a line of Flame Chompers, then retreated into the bush to drop minion aggro. He quickly switched to minigun form to last-hit and reached level six first.
In a smooth sequence of attacks, he brought Nami down to a sliver of health, forcing her to flash away. Lucian tried to last-hit under tower to reach level six and fight back, but their jungler arrived.
Lucian, caught between them, was quickly killed.
Jinx, perfectly positioned, fired a Super Mega Death Rocket!, finishing off the retreating Nami.
“Double kill! We won!” Xu Yitong cheered, nearly jumping out of her chair.
“Of course we won! We have Fish,” Yiyi said, amused by her excitement.
Having endured the enemy’s taunts, Xu Yitong felt triumphant. “Yu Ge, Yu Ge, how do I use emotes? I want to taunt them back!”
Before Yiyi could explain, Yu Ge said—
—”Press T.”
Crouched in the bathroom, Roy anxiously messaged Yiyi: [How’s it going? Did Fish take over? Tell your friend not to worry, I’ll be right back!]
A few minutes later, he received a reply.
Yiyi: [Don’t bother.]
…
Xu Yitong’s new account only had the default “thumbs up” emote.
Back in lane, Jinx, now ahead, dominated. Yuumi, mimicking him, spammed thumbs up at the enemy.
Lucian, distracted by the emotes, missed several last hits.
Yuumi was always annoying, especially a smug Yuumi.
A message appeared in chat:
[All] Gradually Cold (Lucian): A cripple cat spamming emotes?
Another classic interaction.
Yiyi, laughing, instructed, “Press Shift+Enter to open chat.”
Xu Yitong followed her instructions.
“Type ‘Easy,’ then ‘Not accepting disciples,'” Yiyi said.
They continued their banter in all chat.
[All] Gradually Hot (Nami): milk? Fancy meeting you here. Found a rich boyfriend, so no more selling yourself for LP? But why is he duoing with another girl? Getting bored already?
[All] milk (Malphite): Still salty about the 20,000 yuan? Thought you quit. Back from the dead? Found a new sugar daddy? He’s terrible, by the way.
“You guys know each other?” Xu Yitong asked, realizing they weren’t strangers.
“Not really,” Yiyi said, reluctant to elaborate. “I bought this account from her for 20,000 yuan. We’ve played against each other a few times since then.”
“Bought it from her?” Xu Yitong was confused. “Your account?”
“No, my summoner name, ‘Milk.’ Short names like this are valuable. People buy them from resellers.”
“Oh, that explains why she’s so annoying.”
[All] Gradually Cold (Lucian): A 0-6 Malphite calling me bad? Your boyfriend’s not so great either. I’m stomping him. Think he’d win without his jungler?
Xu Yitong’s bl00d pressure rose.
[All] Zhenzhen Pulling Radishes (Yuumi): Someone said you look like a monkey. I think you’re more like a pig. So shameless.
[All] Gradually Cold (Lucian): Who’s this clown? What does this have to do with you? Cripple cat. Braindead sheep.
[All] Zhenzhen Pulling Radishes (Yuumi): So what? My ADC can crush you even with a noob Yuumi like me. He could beat you with his feet!
The argument escalated, the mid and jungle players joining in.
The heated exchange continued until the thirty-minute mark.
Xu Yitong’s fingers flew across the keyboard, her confidence and insults growing stronger as they gained an advantage.
The enemy team, unable to win either in-game or in chat, resorted to spamming quick chat messages.
While the rest of their team pushed towers, Yuumi and Malphite danced around the enemy base, spamming emotes. Xu Yitong finally understood Chen Yuzheng’s fountain-diving joy.
The enemy ADC, tilted beyond belief, continued ranting even after the game ended.
Gradually Cold: [So you’re relying on your jungler? 2v2?]
Xu Yitong wasn’t backing down.
Zhenzhen Pulling Radishes: [With or without a jungler, my ADC can still crush you.]
Gradually Cold: [Custom game, room 77869, streaming to 3000 viewers. If your Jinx can beat my Lucian, I’ll call you daddy.]
“So shameless!” Yiyi exclaimed. “Who would 2v2 as Jinx-Yuumi against Lucian-Nami?! It’s a completely unbalanced matchup!”
Xu Yitong wasn’t falling for it. [Sure, a streamer. Giving us your room number so your fans can flame us? You think I’m scared? And you’re so toxic, I wouldn’t want a son like you even if you begged.]
Gradually Cold: [Scared? Just admit it.]
Xu Yitong wanted to retort, but Yiyi checked the streaming platform. The streamer did have a few thousand viewers, a “Diamond Lucian Main.”
Xu Yitong felt a flicker of doubt.
Yu Ge was skilled, but she was terrible…
Gradually Cold: [Last chance. 2v2?]
“Should we just leave…?” Xu Yitong asked Yiyi nervously. “He seems really confident.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. He’s obviously trolling. Why bother? He thinks he’s so great with his few thousand viewers. So full of himself.”
Xu Yitong agreed, about to type a refusal, when the silent man in their voice chat sent a message visible to everyone—
[Create custom game.]