Little T Lurking in the Beauty Salon, What's the Purpose of All the Flirting? - Chapter 1

I stood by the elevator doors, and Lao Mi walked over. Without a word, he pressed the button and waited beside me. My mind was numb, my eyes fixed on the floor. Suddenly, drops began to fall on the ground in front of the elevator doors—Lao Mi’s tears.

A nonsensical script, nonsensical actors. I let out two mocking laughs from the bottom of my heart and turned to go home. Lao Mi, what right do you have to be sad? Stop pretending to be so virtuous.

I called Xixi’s phone, and it rang in the bedroom. Her wallet and ID were still there. I reassured myself that she would come back, even if just to retrieve her things, like last time.

Half a month passed in a daze. Xixi hadn’t returned, not even sneaking back while I was at work. Lao Mi hadn’t reappeared either. During those two weeks, I went to Xixi’s house repeatedly, but no one was ever there. I asked her neighbors, who said they hadn’t seen anyone come back in a long time. I even questioned the gossipy women’s group downstairs. One member claimed to have seen Xixi’s mother a few days earlier, while another chimed in, After all those years of fighting, they said they were getting divorced that day… It was all gossip, and none of it led me to Xixi, or even her mother. Her mother hadn’t gone to work since the day after the incident.

After repeated fruitless searches, the truth slowly dawned on me Xixi had truly left me.

That night, I holed up at home, pouring myself glass after glass of wine. I desperately wished that, in my drunken haze, Xixi would suddenly appear before me—even if it was just to yell at me, hit me, and then turn and leave again.

Dizzy, I turned on my computer and stared blankly at Xixi’s perpetually offline profile picture. This world is full of joy, showing no sadness, always smiling in silence. Her QQ signature had never changed. In a folder labeled Xixi’s Favorites, I found all of Zhou Xun’s films. I randomly clicked one open. As I watched, I drifted off to sleep. In my hazy slumber, that familiar dialogue gently seeped into my ears

If I ever left, would you search for me like Motor?

Yes.

Would you keep searching?

Yes.

Would you search until you die?

Yes.

You’re lying.

I jolted awake. The first time I watched this film, I had snuggled in Xixi’s arms, listening to this exchange. I remember her pinching my ear, making me listen carefully. She said she would never leave. She said that in her life, abandonment was always something others did to her…

The computer screen’s glare became unbearable. Finally, half a month after Xixi left, I felt the pain. I rushed to the bathroom, where stomach acid and tears churned violently into the toilet.

In the wake of Xixi’s departure and Lao Mi’s disappearance, I was overwhelmed by a profound numbness. I couldn’t grasp my role in this story, and no one offered any answers. I began attributing everything to hormonal imbalances within my body. What am I? What are humans? Don’t overestimate your significance. Stripped bare, compared to those who lived millennia ago, we’ve merely built houses and donned clothes. My lack of moral compass had led me to tear away my own fig leaf. I was worse than I’d imagined, so I wanted to hide until I could face the world again. If this farce ended this way, I would simply accept it.

With these thoughts, I abandoned the search for Xixi, took a year’s leave, switched off my phone around the clock, and began sleeping continuously at home with the curtains drawn.

One day, while I was in a stupor, Lao Mi came to my door again. I had imagined I would scream, cry, and tear her limb from limb, but when I saw her, I didn’t even have the strength to raise my voice.

Xixi is gone, I said as soon as I opened the door.

This isn’t about you, Lao Mi replied.

That doesn’t matter anymore. If this hadn’t happened, I would never have realized how filthy my life had become, or discovered the depraved desires lurking in my heart. At least now Xixi sees me for who I truly am, and I see myself clearly too.

Don’t talk about yourself like that.

Are you feeling guilty now that you’ve destroyed everything? Trying to play the savior? I dragged Lao Mi into the room and slammed the door shut.

Her usual smile vanished. I wouldn’t hesitate to ruin her ten thousand times over, but I didn’t want this to hurt you.

Hearing that, I burst into laughter. Bullshit!

I leaned against Lao Mi’s shoulder. What grudge do you hold against Xixi? How did she offend you so badly that you had to orchestrate this melodramatic farce?

She lowered her head, silent.

I bit her ear. Is this the only way you could get revenge? Did you have to make me feel so utterly worthless?

Still, she remained silent.

Lao Mi, have I ever wronged you? Do you know how at peace I felt when I was with her? Do you know how much I cherished her? Why ruin us? Why ruin us?

She pushed me off her. I saw a trickle of bl00d seeping from her ear. I stripped off my pajamas. Come on, continue. Xixi’s gone now. Play however you want.

Lao Mi didn’t say a word. He pushed me onto the bed, flipped me over, and whispered, Don’t move.

He grabbed a small bottle of essential oil from the nightstand, poured some into his palm, and began rubbing it into my back. His technique was far from professional; it hurt terribly. I buried my face in the pillow, tears welling up. Was it from the pain? Or from the disappointment of being rejected by Lao Mi? Or because this confirmed that everything he had done before was merely to provoke Xixi? Xiao Taohong, Xiao Fenghong, Xiao Lan, Xiao Lü—it didn’t matter. They were all the same.

The pain in my back tensed my entire body. He patted my waist. Relax, or it’ll hurt more. You’ve endured so much from me before. Just bear with it a little longer and listen to a story.

I didn’t reply. In this matter, I had always been the chosen target. If you want to continue choosing me as the one to confide in as the curtain falls, then go ahead. This was always a play, and we were both waiting for the GAME OVER music to signal the end.