Longing for Love (Twice Reborn) - Chapter 1

The fifteenth year of Jiahe, Winter Solstice.

A hundred days had passed since Dust Dweller was reborn.

Each day at Jifang Academy passed in quiet monotony.

With the winter break approaching, Lady Shen, the palace instructress, concluded the lessons for the female disciples early, leaving the remaining days for self-study.

This morning, another heavy snowfall blanketed the Eastern Capital.

Now that the skies had briefly cleared, Dust Dweller took advantage of the windless corridor pavilion to sketch outdoors.

The warm sun spilled over the high walls, casting golden light across the snow covered courtyard.

On the other side of the pavilion, a few classmates gradually gathered, lounging on benches to read or chat under the sunlight.

“Where are you planning to go for the break?”

“My eldest brother is returning to the capital for his official report this year. Father is so pleased he’s taking us all to Mount Li.”

“What a coincidence! I was thinking of visiting the hot springs too…”

The girls’ voices were lively and boisterous.

Though seated nearby, Dust Dweller remained untouched by the restless atmosphere, as if existing in another world entirely.

Her head was bowed in concentration as she dipped her brush into ink. Her hair was neatly tucked beneath a soft-winged headdress, revealing a flawless, and swan like neck. Long lashes cast delicate, butterfly wing shadows beneath her eyes.

It wasn’t until her classmate Xue Wan tapped her shoulder lightly with a book that Dust Dweller turned, as if only just noticing their presence.

Xue Wan’s gaze fell on the brush tip, her brows knitting slightly. “Didn’t we already finish the coloring exam? Why are you still practicing double line sketching?”

Dust Dweller sighed faintly. “Lady Shen always says my paintings are lacking.

I thought I’d practice more.”

Xue Wan blinked in surprise. “She’s been saying that for ages. Why the sudden diligence?”

In the past, Dust Dweller would have slipped away the moment lessons ended.

Yet here she was, dutifully staying at the academy, reviewing with such focus it was nothing short of astonishing.

Another classmate, Lu Yun, chimed in with a laugh, “Didn’t you always say passing was enough?”

Dust Dweller set down her brush solemnly. “Precisely because I lack talent, I must make up for it with diligence. If I’m already an unpolished stone, I ought to carve it more only then can its surface shine.”

The pavilion erupted in murmurs.

“Lack of talent? That’s absurd!”

“Our academy is the strictest girls’ institution in the Eastern Capital, enforcing a merit based elimination system. And you, Li Dust Dweller, are infamous here as the ‘Score Control Master.'”

“If passing requires one point, you score one. If it demands full marks, you deliver full marks. Your motto is ‘Passing is victory, anything more is waste’ never giving the academy a chance to expel you.”

“Such effortless mastery is its own rare talent, the envy of countless students like us who tear our hair out during exams.”

Yet Lady Shen, rigid in temperament, saw Dust Dweller’s methods as opportunistic and often disparaged her. Unfazed, Dust Dweller free spirited and unconventional defied norms and refused to be bound by rules. When Lady Shen accused her of luck, she made sure to prove it by “getting lucky” every single time.

So, when this naturally rebellious girl suddenly declared today, “I’m going to become a refined lady cultured, gentle, and accomplished in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting,” it was met with skepticism.

Of course, no one doubted she could master the arts.

But “Cultured and gentle?” Xue Wan repeated her tone thick with disbelief.

Juchen pondered carefully for a moment, realizing there was no quick solution, and conceded, “At least the reputation should be better.”

Xue Wan’s brows furrowed deeper. “Since when do you care about such superficial things?”

Because in her past life, that was precisely what had led to her downfall.

Juchen did not respond, instead offering a faint, knowing smile as she picked up her brush again.

However, Lu Yun was not ready to let the conversation end. She leaned in closer and asked, “By the way, are you going to Mount Li during the break?”

Without turning her head, Juchen replied, “I might go to the library to read.”

Lu Yun raised an eyebrow and nudged her hand. “Books can wait. Come soak in the hot springs, it’s really fun.”

Seeing Juchen hesitate, Xue Wan sighed softly. “Don’t push her. She probably doesn’t like hot springs. Every year, I see her father taking her siblings to Mount Li, but never her.”

The tip of Juchen’s brush froze momentarily. Under Lu Yun’s questioning gaze, she lowered her eyes, a wry smile touching her lips. “I don’t really enjoy them.”

Just then, outside the pavilion, a snowflake trembled past the eaves, swirling down to land on the back of Juchen’s painting hand.

The sky had begun to snow again.

The girls had no choice but to return to the classroom. Juchen stayed behind to gather her sketches, becoming the last to enter.

Her seat was by the window. As she set down her drawing board, snowflakes drifted in like willow catkins, scattering across its surface.

Juchen instinctively looked up; her gaze drawn outside.

Lu Yun, sitting in front of her, wiped away the melting snow from the board and continued, “It’s not just the hot springs we’re also planning to visit the Red Maple Grove to pray at the Three Life Stone.”

The Three Life Stone in Mount Li’s maple forest was famous for its miracles.

It was said that any woman who prayed there would eventually find a suitable marriage.

Xue Wan chuckled at this. “That reason won’t sway her either.”

Juchen had never believed in superstitions, nor did she need fate to arrange her marriage. Her popularity with men was renowned throughout the capital.

“As she puts it, she’s too sought after to settle for being tied down to just one man,” Xue Wan added, drawing laughter from the others.

After a thoughtful pause, Juchen suddenly asked, “Is it really that effective?”

“Absolutely!” Lu Yun, thinking she had relented, brightened and linked arms with her. “We’re eighteen now. No matter how much we study, we cannot take the imperial exams like the men. Marriage is inevitable. Someone as beautiful as you should think about your future. Your family must already be arranging matches for you, right?”

Juchen fell briefly silent.

“If they haven’t started yet, don’t worry. I actually have someone in mind my second brother. He is quite handsome and would suit you perfectly. Why not come to Mount Li? I’ll introduce you.”

So that was the real intention.

Juchen smiled faintly, her brows knitting slightly. “Wouldn’t that be too forward?”

“He wouldn’t mind at all he’s the last person to shy away from boldness…
What I mean is, he’s very easygoing. It’ll be fine.”

Just then, the evening drum sounded.

Juchen glanced at the darkening sky and began packing her things. “Let’s talk about this another time. I should head back now.”

Lu Yun frowned. “Why are you leaving so early today? We haven’t even decided where to go for the break yet.”

Juchen hurried along, then turned back to give her a playful wink. “Next time. It’s snowing, and my… my family is probably waiting for me outside.”
Lu Yun called out stubbornly, “Hey”

The green robe sleeves fluttered slightly as Juchen walked away without looking back, leaving only a graceful silhouette behind.

Lu Yun slumped back into her seat dejectedly. Xue Wan couldn’t help but laugh. “Why are you always trying to matchmake your second brother with her?

With her temper, how could she possibly endure all those Lu family rules plastered on your walls?”

“I just think she’s perfect want her as my sister-in-law. Especially since my second brother’s luck is terrible, always falling just short in every exam.

He needs someone like Juchen to bring him good fortune.”

“The problem is she’s not interested.”

Lu Yun pouted and muttered, “She hasn’t refused yet. How do you know she won’t agree?”

Seeing her complete lack of perception, Xue Wan sighed helplessly and pointed out, “After all these years studying together, have you ever seen her family come to pick her up on rainy or snowy days?”

—

Juchen stepped through the academy gates.

Snow fell softly as carriages gradually gathered at the entrance to collect students none of them hers.

Juchen moved aside to let others pass, briefly scanning the scene before pulling up her hood to protect the book box in her hands and setting off alone down the twilight streets.

The bustling market grew quiet as the sky darkened to indigo. Few pedestrians braved the snow, and without the shelter of the academy’s high walls, the temperature seemed to plummet abruptly.

Exhaling a warm breath, Juchen rubbed her hands together before tightening the furlined edges of her cloak. As she looked up again, she suddenly remembered another twilight like this in her previous life, when the imperial decree had sentenced her to poisoned wine.

Back then, she had sat alone in a dim prison cell, looking up at the same endless white snowfall through a small window.

Then a light appeared ahead.

A carriage rumbled toward her, its lantern casting a warm golden glow beneath the canopy.

There was no driver at the front just an exceptionally handsome white horse that stopped before her and turned its head to gaze at her with deep, inherently noble eyes that mirrored its master’s dark pupils exactly.

As snow continued to fall around them, Juchen stood frozen for a long moment before slowly reaching out.

The horse, forced to acknowledge her greeting, reluctantly lowered its proud head to barely touch her fingertips with its nose.

Undeterred, Juchen stroked its forehead anyway, mussing its forelock while thoroughly enjoying its look of disdainful tolerance. It had ignored her in their past life, but now it had no choice.

Juchen chuckled, her steps lightening as she lifted her robe to climb into the carriage.

The interior had clearly been prepared every wall lined snugly with fur, making it unbearably warm. A pot of hot ginger tea waited on the table, and after one cup, Juchen felt warmth spread through her entire body.

Having collected its passenger, the white horse abandoned its earlier leisurely pace and broke into a spirited trot, its hooves clattering as it pulled the black wheeled carriage to a secluded, elegant courtyard deep in the alley.

The courtyard was silent except for a murmuring stream.

Before the gate, a clear spring emitted wispy mist, surrounded by lotus flowers that bloomed year round.

This place, called “Carefree Retreat,” was exquisitely designed, every plant and stone placed with intention.

Juchen entered familiarly, pushing open the door to reveal an intricately carved screen depicting cranes in snow, their wings so lifelike they seemed ready to take flight.

Setting down the book box, she sat before the bronze mirror and removed her scholar’s headscarf.

A cascade of ink black hair tumbled down, revealing her youthful face in the reflection.

Even now, as Juchen gazed at her raven dark temples, a faint sense of unreality lingered in her thoughts. She could never forget how she had once turned gray haired for the sake of the Great Liang’s empire.

A tall figure silently parted the curtain and approached without a sound.

Juchen had just risen and stepped toward the clothing rack, her fingers undoing the first clasp of her belt, when a sudden grip encircled her waist.

Her hands trembled, and she turned abruptly in surprise.

The man before her stood a full head taller, his figure elegant, and his features strikingly handsome. Dressed in flowing black robes, his usual air of languid indifference lent him an effortless nobility and composure.

When their eyes met, Juchen felt as if she had been scorched. She cleared her throat lightly, masking the delight in her voice. “You’re back?”

In response, he merely hummed nonchalantly, tilting her chin up before pressing his lips to hers.

His broad hand slid downward without hesitation, slipping beneath the hem of her dark green robe only to be caught firmly by her grip.

He lifted his head slightly, brows furrowing, as Juchen whispered in negotiation, “I haven’t bathed yet…”

Song Mi raised an eyebrow and withdrew his hand.

Juchen exhaled silently in relief. Seeing that he had no intention of leaving, she steeled herself against the heat in her cheeks and turned away to remove her outer garment.

Just as she moved toward the bath, he suddenly stepped forward again, effortlessly lifting her and turning her to face him.

Juchen lost her balance abruptly, her eyes widening as she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck.

Without hesitation, he carried her straight behind the folding screen and into the bathing chamber.