Longing for Love (Twice Reborn) - Chapter 19

Passing through Xihua Gate, the carriage slowly entered the palace grounds, arriving at the entrance of Shoukang Palace.

Xuyang held Juchen’s hand and sternly ordered her to wait at the gate, promising to take her to dinner after paying respects to the empress dowager inside. She even insisted they share a bed tonight for a heart to heart talk by candlelight.

“Don’t you dare leave! Wait for me! I must vent about my experiences in the southern frontier letters could never do it justice. I’ve been bottling this up for months!”

Juchen smiled in agreement just as a cool breeze swept through the corridor, gently lifting the maiden’s sleeves.

What hadn’t been noticeable in the carriage now became apparent under the eaves Xuyang suddenly felt the chill of northern rain. Noticing Juchen wore only a single dress, Xuyang’s delicate brows furrowed. She turned and deliberately coughed toward Yuan Zheng.

Having grown up together, Yuan Zheng instantly understood. With an amused sigh, he obediently removed his cloak and draped it over Juchen’s shoulders.

Song Mi stood nearby, his gaze abruptly freezing.

Lu Feng, who had returned to the capital before Song Mi, now approached from the opposite side of the imperial road to accompany him for their debriefing.

Giving Song Mi’s shoulder a light tap from behind, Lu Feng rolled his eyes: “Your Little White already galloped back to your estate. That horse you sent to escort me? The moment we reached the city gates, it threw me off and refused to stay another second with me. You’ve spoiled that temperamental beast.”

Though Juchen had not exchanged words with Song Mi during their journey, her ears had remained keenly attuned to his movements. Lu Feng’s revelation made everything clear no wonder he had not returned on his distinctive white steed today. She had been watching all morning for that recognizable horse, nearly missing him altogether.

Song Mi offered insincere defense: “Perhaps it merely needed to relieve itself and couldn’t accommodate you further.”

Lu Feng scoffed, too weary to point out the obvious excuse. Noticing the dampness on Song Mi’s sleeve, he frowned: “Why aren’t you wearing your water repellent cloak?”

A brief pause. “Didn’t feel like it.”

Just then, Xuyang and Yuan Zheng stepped through the palace gates.

Xuyang instinctively glanced back, catching or perhaps imagining Juchen standing motionless at the entrance, her dark luminous eyes flickering with profound disappointment.

As Song Mi passed Juchen on his way in, his gaze lingered deliberately on the slender shoulders now draped in another man’s cloak.

Xuyang kept looking back, making Juchen carefully avoid any eye contact with Song Mi. She stepped aside with bowed head throughout.

Yuan Zheng, noticing Xuyang’s persistent backward glances, followed her gaze toward the entrance where his eyes unexpectedly met Song Mi’s.

—

The rain continued unabated, distant thunder rumbling across the sky as Juchen waited beneath the palace gate’s eaves.

When Xuyang emerged from the main hall and came running eagerly toward her, Juchen raised her umbrella with a smile. But after taking only two steps forward, a hauntingly familiar scene flashed before her eyes the last time she’d seen Xuyang in her previous life had been on just such a rainy day.

She stood holding an umbrella in front of the Dali Temple prison. Spotting Xuyang emerging in the distance, she rushed forward to shield her from the rain.

Xuyang’s vacant eyes hovered for a long moment before finally focusing on her. Her lips trembled for a while before a sob broke through, mingling with the endless downpour. “Where’s Yuan Zheng?”

Her lips parted slightly, her eyes suddenly reddening. “Ranran…”

Xuyang’s face was as pale as paper, the light in her eyes dimming further.

After staring at her for a long moment, she shoved her away angrily. “You just let him go to his death like that?”

The umbrella fell to the ground as she staggered back several steps. A bolt of lightning split the sky into jagged cracks, thunder rumbling around them as sheets of rain pelted down, mixing with the silent tears on their faces.

Xuyang glared at her coldly for a long time before resolutely reaching out and smashing the violet jade bracelet she had worn for years at her feet.

With a sharp clang, the sound of jade striking the ground was swallowed by the endless thunder, shattering into several pieces. The dampness around them seeped into her clothes, chilling her to the bone.

——

In front of Shoukang Palace, Xuyang ran forward and looped her arms around Juchen’s, the warmth from her palms through the fabric pulling her back from the past. “What are you thinking about?”

Juchen shuddered violently, a flash of pain crossing her eyes before they involuntarily landed on Yuan Zheng, who had followed Xuyang out. His lips naturally curved slightly, as if always carrying a bright smile even in his final moments, clad in snow-white armor, he had turned back on horseback and given her a firm, approving smile. “Thank you, A-Chen.”

Song Mi was the last to step out of the hall. Lifting her gaze, she saw Juchen’s eyes fixed on Yuan Zheng, staring blankly, her delicate face filled with an imperceptible loneliness.

“A-Chen? Why aren’t you answering me?” Xuyang shook her arm.

Juchen snapped out of it, gripping her hand in return and shaking her head with a smile.

Xuyang felt her grip was tighter than usual, as if clinging to something precious. Thinking it must be because they hadn’t seen each other in so long, she buried her face playfully in Juchen’s neck.

Juchen ruffled her hair, then, seeing the others had all come out, her gaze instinctively searched for another familiar, tall figure.

But when she turned, Song Mi had already walked down the corridor without even a word of farewell.

——

By afternoon, the rain finally stopped. An evening summer breeze swept away the clouds hanging over the Eastern Capital, and by night, scattered stars even dotted the sky.

Xuyang sat inside the hibiscus curtained bed, complaining at length to Juchen about her hypocritical mother-in-law how she slept late herself but forbade Xuyang from staying up, how she insisted Xuyang personally cook for Yuan Zheng despite having plenty of servants, how she made Xuyang mend his clothes instead of just buying new ones, and how she constantly compared her to Yuan Zheng’s cousin, praising the latter’s gentleness, understanding, and virtue if she liked her so much, why not just have Yuan Zheng marry her instead?

Juchen leaned against the pillow beside her, holding her hand and listening patiently, her lips curling upward the whole time.

“You can still laugh? I’m about to explode with anger!” Xuyang could not resist tickling her ribs.

Between giggles and pleas for mercy, Juchen explained, “I’m just happy it’s been so long since we’ve talked like this.”

“I don’t believe it!” Xuyang scratched even harder.

Juchen was extremely ticklish and could not take it anymore. Seizing the moment when Xuyang was distracted, she laughed and escaped from the bed canopy.

The two chased each other playfully, and before they knew it, they had run from Princess Xuyang’s palace chambers all the way to the imperial garden.

Juchen weaved through flowers and willow branches, turning past an arched gate, and hid behind a rockery, hoping to startle Xuyang.

As she crouched there, tilting her head slightly, her gaze inadvertently swept back and suddenly, she spotted a tall figure sitting at a stone table by the pond behind the rockery, holding an aged wine jug. He lifted his eyes and looked straight at her.

Juchen jolted upright in surprise, her delicate brows furrowing slightly.

At his feet lay three or four white porcelain wine jars, their surfaces reflecting the shimmering pond water, casting an eerie green glow.

Xuyang caught up with a mischievous grin, wrapping her arms around Juchen’s waist only to freeze mid motion. She immediately straightened up just like Juchen had. “Uncle!”

Song Mo gave a slight nod, his expression as unreadable as ever, his deep eyes ink black in the night.

In the quiet of the palace at such a late hour, such rowdiness was hardly proper! Xuyang had no choice but to steel herself and exchange a few polite words with him. Relieved to find no hint of reprimand in his tone, she quickly pulled Juchen away.

On their way back, Xuyang recalled Song Mo’s demeanor throughout the day and couldn’t help but smile in delight. “I used to worry that Uncle was hard to approach, but now I see it’s not so bad.”

Earlier in Shoukang Palace, Song Mo had noticed her hesitation to get close to the Empress Dowager and had subtly spoken a few words in her favor.

“My twentieth birthday is coming up soon. Maybe I should try sending him an invitation and see if he’d come?” Xuyang curled her lips, skipping a step ahead. “If he agrees, it’d be such an honor!”

But when no reply came from behind her, she turned around.

“Ranran…” Juchen stared at her for a long moment, biting her lip lightly before clenching her fists and turning away. “I forgot something.”

“What did you forget?” Xuyang called after her, about to follow.

Juchen firmly declined, flustered. “You go ahead and bathe. I’ll go look for it!”

She spun around and sprinted along the waterside pavilion, straight back to Song Mo. First, she took the wine jug from his hand, then sternly scolded him for drinking instead of resting after his long journey.

Her face full of concern, she reached out to pull him up.

Song Mo arched a brow, studying her. Yet his mind flashed back to how intently she had watched Yuan Zheng earlier. If her eyes were only for others, why bother with him now? Or was it only when Yuan Zheng wasn’t around that she noticed him?

His gaze darkened. “Is it within Minister Li’s duties to oversee so much?”

His tone was cold, indifferent. Juchen faltered, staring at the faint chill in his expression before realizing she had overstepped she had no right to meddle in his affairs.

She couldn’t help but care.

But she never expected her concern to be seen as presumption.

Lowering her eyes to her skirt, she clenched her fists lightly. “This humble official only worries for Your Highness’s well being. After all, the Empress Dowager would surely wish for you to rest.”

Though she restrained herself well, a pang of bitterness seeped into her voice, betraying a hint of hurt.

The words fell into Song Mi’s ears, making him unconsciously cover his chest.

The coldness in his eyes gradually dissipated, replaced by helplessness.

After so many days apart, how could he not miss her, not long to hear her voice? But the more he wanted to see her, the harder it became to ignore that her heart belonged to someone else.

Song Mi let out a bitter laugh and conceded defeat, slowly rising to his feet. “Fine, I’ll go back then.”

As he turned to return to his room, she suddenly grabbed his sleeve.

“Do you have time tomorrow night?”

Song Mi paused before replying, “Didn’t you tell me to get proper rest?”

Juchen froze for a long moment before realizing what he meant, her face flushing red with embarrassment. “I didn’t mean… that…”

“If not that, then why ask for me?”

A teasing smile played at the corners of Song Mi’s lips as his gaze swept directly across her face. Juchen clenched her fists, flustered under his stare. Biting her lower lip, she turned her face away and retorted, “Your stamina can’t possibly be that poor.”

The smile on Song Mi’s lips froze. After a brief silence, he let out a cold laugh.

And agreed to her request.