Longing for Love (Twice Reborn) - Chapter 26

Hearing the girl’s slightly hurried voice, Yuan Zheng’s hand paused as he pushed the door open.

Juchen looked flustered, instinctively glancing through the crack of the door. Song Mai had no free hand to tilt her chin back, so he abruptly quickened the rhythm of his fingers.

Juchen shuddered violently, biting down hard, her expression a mix of excitement and disbelief as she stared at him.

Wasn’t he afraid of being discovered? Why… why wasn’t he stopping?

Yuan Zheng was still outside. Afraid she might let out strange sounds, Juchen pressed a hand against Song Mai’s chest, trying to push him away.

But Song Mai remained unmoved, his fingers adjusting to her reactions with perfect control. Was she really that afraid of the man outside knowing? He was determined to make her cry out.

Yuan Zheng stood outside the door, asking with concern, “Aren’t you done yet?”

“Just a little longer, almost there.”

“Why haven’t you lit the lamp?”

“Too lazy… just trying to save trouble.”

That did sound like her. Yuan Zheng didn’t suspect anything. “Hmm. Have you seen the prince?”

“N-no, ah!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I my earring fell.”

“Do you need help looking for it?”

“Don’t come in!” The girl’s voice grew even more panicked, forgetting the door was locked. “I’m not dressed ye”

Yuan Zheng paused, silent for a moment. “Then I’ll go back and wait for you.

Hurry up Xu Yang is worried.”
“Mm mm!”

The sound of the man’s retreating footsteps echoed outside. Song Mai, unwilling to relent, lowered his head and bit her collarbone again.

Juchen repeatedly gnawed at her lower lip, leaving rows of teeth marks on the soft pink flesh, her gaze pleading. In the end, it softened his resolve.

Finally, Song Mai covered her mouth, pressing her against the door as her eyes grew utterly dazed in his embrace.

He stared at his own reflection in her eyes, as if gazing at his own desire.

Then he exhaled sharply, wiping his damp fingers shamelessly on her undergarments.

Juchen’s legs trembled, nearly giving way beneath her.

Song Mai steadied her fragile waist, brushing his fingers against her flushed eyelids before curling his lips in a bitter, silent smile. Then he kissed her again.

The kiss lasted half the time it takes for an incense stick to burn. They really couldn’t stay any longer.

Song Mai stripped off her crumpled dance attire and helped her into a fresh, clean ruqun.

Juchen pressed her cool hands to her burning cheeks, trying to lower the heat. Just as she was about to push the door open, Song Mai braced his arms on either side, trapping her between them.

Juchen lifted her confused eyes. Song Mai said, “That ceramic doll I want one too.”

Juchen froze. Song Mai smoothly pinched her rear, deadpan. “Make one for me.”

The heat she had just managed to suppress flared back up instantly.

Before leaving, she tugged at him from behind, her eyes shimmering like sunlight on water. “Can I see you again?”

Song Mai glanced at her. “Tomorrow, I’m free.”

—

Late at night, Xu Yang removed all her hairpins and rose from the vanity, walking to the bed curtains.

There, Juchen lay sideways on the pillow, lightly biting the tip of her thumb. Her starry eyes sparkled, lost in thought, a faint, silly smile playing at the corners of her lips.

Xuyang had drunk quite a bit today. Afraid she might lose control of her emotions and spill truths under the influence, or actively seek someone out, she pulled Juchen to sleep with her as supervision.

To her surprise, Juchen seemed even more intoxicated than herself, her cheeks flushed with a rosy hue, like a flawless piece of white jade lightly brushed with pigment.

Xuyang pinched one of her cheeks. “What are you thinking about so deeply?”

Juchen pulled the thin quilt up to her waist, covering half her face especially the corners of her lips, which couldn’t suppress a smile.

“Nothing.”

Xuyang let out an exaggerated sigh. “Not telling me?”

She climbed onto the bed and tugged at the quilt covering Juchen’s face. The two began to playfully wrestle under the canopy until Xuyang was pinned down by Juchen. Left with no choice, she resorted to her ultimate move slender fingers reaching out to tickle the sensitive spot at Juchen’s waist.

Juchen immediately crumbled, giggling and begging for mercy. In the struggle, her collar loosened, revealing two delicate collarbones.

Xuyang’s gaze froze. “What happened here?”

Juchen stiffened as Xuyang’s fingertip traced the red mark on her collarbone, rubbing lightly. “Did a mosquito bite you? I had someone burn mugwort to keep them away.”

Juchen covered the spot with her hand, letting out a soft hum. The flush on her cheeks deepened, though it could easily be blamed on their earlier tussle both of them now glistening with a light sheen of sweat.

Xuyang hopped off the bed to fetch ointment, muttering, “What kind of vicious mosquito leaves such a deep mark?”

“Mmm.”

In truth, he hadn’t been particularly rough, but her skin was so delicate that even the slightest mark stood out starkly.

Juchen watched Xuyang rummage through drawers. “Ranran, don’t worry if you can’t find it. It’s fine.”

Xuyang happened to locate the ointment in the vanity. With a triumphant “ha!” she hurried back, dipping her finger into the gel before parting Juchen’s collar to dab it on the mark.

The more she applied it, the less it resembled a mosquito bite. It looked more like. But Juchen wasn’t even married hadn’t even been betrothed. There was no way she could have. That couldn’t be it.

Xuyang shook her head, dismissing her wild thoughts. Yet, the suggestive mark inevitably brought back memories of tonight’s game of “pass the flower.”

“I always thought Uncle was like a lotus rising untainted from mud, transcendent and pure, keeping himself chaste. Turns out he’s just like every other man in the world.”

As Xuyang closed the ointment jar, she inadvertently murmured her thoughts aloud. Juchen’s eyes widened, stunned for a long moment before swallowing hard, her expression like a child caught in mischief. “You know?”

“He was drinking, remember?” Xuyang pouted. “I just told you today how curious I was about what he’d be like when he liked someone. Turns out he’s already tainted. I just wonder who it was that managed to lure him into a night of passion?”

The very culprit responsible for his “tainted” state now sat with reddened ears, lightly licking her lips before taking Xuyang’s hand. “Ranran actually, I’m not either.”

Xuyang let out an absentminded “hmm,” as if not yet grasping her meaning. Then, after a long pause, she stiffened before gripping Juchen’s shoulders tightly. “What did you say? Say it again!”

“I- I’m not anymore.”

A storm of shock surged in Xuyang’s chest, her eyes growing wider as she stared at Juchen’s earnest face. “Who?”

Juchen pressed her lips together. “I can’t say yet.”

“Why?”

“Not yet, it’s not the time.” Though she herself didn’t know when the right time would be.

Xuyang watched her struggling to speak, her delicate brows nearly knitting together. His thumb pressed against the mark on her collarbone. “So he did this? You’ve been seeing each other?”

“Yes.”

“That kind of seeing?”

“Yes.”

Xuyang gripped her shoulders unconsciously, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You’re too reckless!”

Juchen lowered her lashes, looking somewhat chastened. Xuyang couldn’t help but ask, “Did he force you?”

Before her marriage to Yuan Zheng, there had been no signs of anything unusual. Could it be that the man, knowing they were both close to her, had taken advantage of their absence to coerce her? After all, her face was undeniably alluring.

Juchen quickly replied, “I was willing.”

The sincerity in her words was as clear as day.

Xuyang watched as Juchen’s lips parted slightly, her eyes trembling as if afraid he might form even the slightest negative impression of the man.

Unable to resist, he pinched her cheek. “You like him?”

“Yes.”

Seeing the determination in her eyes, Xuyang sighed deeply. “So, do I know him?”

Juchen hesitated. “How did you know?”

“If I didn’t, you wouldn’t have hidden it from me. Are you afraid I’ll cause trouble for him?”

Juchen shook her head vehemently. “No.”

Actually, yes.

Juchen knew Xuyang’s temper all too well. If she found out the man she had been involved with was her uncle, she would undoubtedly demand Song Mi take responsibility even if it meant taking the matter to the Empress Dowager.

Though Xuyang often clung to Juchen like a younger sister, she was actually a year and a half older. In her heart, she saw herself as the protector, always looking out for Juchen in important matters.

Juchen wrapped her arms around her carefully, her expression tinged with guilt for not being able to confess fully. Xuyang looked at her, torn between exasperation and amusement, and flicked her nose lightly.

“Actually, I’m not either.”

This time, it was Juchen’s turn to widen her eyes. “Who?”

Xuyang fell silent. Juchen’s intuition flared, and the words spilled out before she could stop them. “Yuan Zheng?”

Though Xuyang had mentioned they had never consummated their marriage, Juchen, with her own experience as precedent, couldn’t help but wonder what if they had been together before the wedding? Yuan Zheng had been drinking today, too. And as for who truly held his heart, Juchen knew better than anyone.

Xuyang had expected Juchen’s first guess to be Lin Zongbai. She never imagined she would jump to the one person who seemed least likely on the surface.

Xuyang choked for a moment but didn’t answer. Instead, she lifted her chin.

“When you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.”

The next day, Song Mi arrived at Ciyou Villa to find Juchen already seated inside.

As dusk settled, warm yellow lamplight filled the room. When Song Mi pushed open the door, Juchen was sitting before a bronze mirror, checking her appearance.

The flickering candlelight cast a rosy glow on her fair, lotus like face. She wore a pale green ruqun, its waistband embroidered with delicate vine patterns. The translucent silk blouse made her jade like skin appear even more luminous, as if carved from snow. One glance was enough to make him want to seize her slender wrists, pull her close, and cherish her tenderly.

Song Mi pulled her into his embrace. Just as he caressed her cheek and leaned in to kiss her, Juchen suddenly pressed a finger against his lips. Giving him a pitiful look, she coughed awkwardly, “I my period came.”

Song Mi: “…”

He shot her a glance, unable to resist pinching her apple cheeks instead of caressing them. “Are you doing this on purpose?”

Her cheeks slightly puffed from his pinch, Juchen’s voice became muffled, “How could anyone do that on purpose?”

Clearly disappointed, Song Mi released her cheek and sighed silently. In the next moment, Juchen extricated herself from his arms and stood properly before him, offering an apologetic glance as she said regretfully, “Then I should head back now.”

Song Mi frowned slightly, “Why?”

Juchen intertwined her fingers and whispered, “We can’t do it today.”

“Does that mean you can’t stay with me unless we do?”

Her eyes dimmed slightly as she accused softly, “Last time you said if we weren’t going to do it, then I shouldn’t come find you.”

Song Mi paused was that really what he had meant?

He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Magistrate Li really holds grudges, doesn’t she?”

“Did I?”

“You did,” Song Mi stated firmly.

Juchen widened her eyes, biting her lip as her left thumb fidgeted with her right fingertips, earnestly defending herself. “My cycle’s always been regular before I don’t know why it came early this month. I didn’t expect it either. When I noticed at noon, I meant to tell you, but I worried you’d think I was trying to cancel again, so I came to explain in person.”

Seeing her sincere expression, a gentle smile surfaced in Song Mi’s eyes. He gave a soft hum and asked, “Did you have the kitchen prepare dinner?”

Juchen responded eagerly, “Yes. I calculated when you’d arrive and ordered ahead for you.”

“Then sit down and have a meal with me.”

Juchen hesitated. Song Mi looked at her, “At this hour, everyone else has probably finished eating.”

She glanced at the darkening sky outside the window. “Hmm.”

“Aren’t you uncomfortable eating alone?”

He actually remembered.

Song Mi took her slender wrist again and led her to the dining table.

After the meal, as Song Mi set down his silver chopsticks, he noticed her furrowed brows when she stood, one hand pressed lightly to her abdomen.

He went to the door and instructed the maid clearing the table to prepare a bowl of brown sugar ginger tea. Turning back, he guided Juchen into the inner chamber and held her in his arms.

“Does it hurt badly?” Song Mi asked.

Juchen nestled closer. “It usually doesn’t, but this time’s different.”

Usually doesn’t?

His large hand pressed more firmly against her cool abdomen as memories flooded him back in their past lives, after a heated debate over new tax policies during morning court, he had coincidentally crossed paths with her again in the palace corridor.

She collapsed right before his eyes.

At the time, he had thought she was staging some revenge plot after losing their argument, so he had immediately carried her to the imperial physician for injury documentation.

The female physician diagnosed her with menstrual cramps abdominal pain from poor circulation, compounded by exhaustion and cold stagnation that had caused her to faint.

Sitting by her bedside, he had glanced at her sweat-beaded face, remembering how full of vigor she had been during their court argument, nothing like this pale, fragile version before him.

Later, when he heard she had been working tirelessly for days without rest, staying at the Phoenix Pavilion to handle official duties, Song Mi couldn’t help but sigh softly. When this girl threw herself into work, she could be quite ruthless with herself.

But she was still just an eighth-rank minor official at the Phoenix Pavilion there was no reason for her to be this busy. Why then? Was she feeling unwell again?

Song Mi asked with concern. Juchen remained silent for a long time before answering, “Perhaps it’s due to recent emotional instability pent up frustration.”

“Why?”

Juchen didn’t reply, only buried her head against his shoulder, her delicate nose pressing against his neck as she inhaled his familiar, clean, and noble scent.

Song Mi wanted to ask if it was because of Yuan Zheng, but the words lingered on his lips before he reconsidered and swallowed them back. No need to bring himself unnecessary distress.

Before long, a maid lightly knocked on the door and brought in a cup of brown sugar ginger tea.

He scooped it gently with a spoon, feeding it to her sip by sip. Afterward, the two freshened up briefly, turned off the lights, and as soon as Song Mi climbed onto the bed, Juchen instinctively shifted further inward, putting some distance between them.

Song Mi: “Why are you so far away?”

“I’m afraid I might smell.”

Juchen didn’t want to leave an impression of something like the scent of bl00d in his memory.

She hadn’t even planned to stay the night at first originally intending to explain things to him before leaving, then thinking she’d go back after dinner, then deciding to spend a little more time alone with him before heading back. But somehow, before she knew it, he had laid her down on the bed.

Now, clad only in a sheer sleeping camisole as thin as cicada wings, she was naturally worried some odors might seep through.

Song Mi wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his embrace, his tall nose dipping into the hollow of her collarbone as he took a deep breath. “No, you smell wonderful.”