Longing for Love (Twice Reborn) - Chapter 29

The next day, in the scorching heat of mid July, the Phoenix Pavilion felt like a steamer.

All the female officials wished they could work bare handed and barefoot.

Juchen, who usually dreaded the heat, was today wearing a high collared jacket that covered her neck. Xue Wan couldn’t help but fan her with a palm leaf fan. Fortunately, though Juchen feared the heat, she was blessed with naturally cool skin, so after a busy day, she hadn’t broken into much sticky sweat.

As the evening drum sounded, the front offices began to disperse.

Juchen lowered her head to tidy up the documents on her desk. Xuyang appeared at the entrance of the Phoenix Pavilion, weaving through greetings and bows before eagerly rushing forward to take her hand. She excitedly told Juchen about a new clothing shop opened by foreign merchants in the Golden Market that she had visited the day before, where she had seen a dress that would suit her perfectly.

“Come back with me quickly and try it on for me.”

Xuyang pulled her back to the princess’s residence and opened a brocade box on the dressing table. Juchen’s eyes instantly brightened at the sight of the translucent sky blue fabric swaying inside. Xuyang dragged her behind a screen and urged her to change into it to see if she liked it.

Juchen curled her lips into a smile and began to undo the first button at her collar. Suddenly, she seemed to remember something, and her hands paused mid motion.

“Why aren’t you undressing? What are you being shy about in front of me?”

Noticing the faint blush on Juchen’s cheeks, Xuyang, puzzled, took matters into her own hands and began to undress her. Though Juchen appeared slender, her figure was actually quite alluring, and Xuyang was always mesmerized by her curves, both delicate and seductive.

But this time, as she removed the jacket from Juchen’s upper body, her gaze fixed on her collarbone, and she couldn’t help but frown.

It was the same kind of marks as last time.

Juchen quickly covered them with her hands, but images from the previous night involuntarily flooded her mind.

The two of them had rolled from the banquet mat onto the bed. He had pulled open her slender waistband and kissed her lips, trailing down from her shoulders to her abdomen. Usually, he would stop there and retreat, but this time, he had continued further down.

Her delicate body had begun to tremble, her beautiful eyes flustered and panicked. She had tried to arch away like a carp leaping, only to be mercilessly pressed back down.

“N-no, don’t lick there.”

“But I want to.” His voice, usually cold and self-assured, had become irresistibly seductive in that moment of extreme boldness.

“Why?” Her words had already begun to slur.

The man beneath her had chuckled softly. “Because my heart is very dark.”

Juchen’s mind had exploded with shock, her beautiful eyes widening. After that, apart from some fragmented, indecent sounds, she hadn’t dared to say another word.

Xuyang brushed aside her hands and fully removed her dress, her gaze settling on her chest. Her delicate brows knitted tightly together. To leave such extensive marks, just how bold had the two of them been last night?

Xuyang couldn’t bear to think too deeply about it.

Anger flared in her, and she pinched Juchen’s nose. “Do you like him that much, letting him do whatever he wants?”

Even as she scolded, Xuyang couldn’t help but wonder who the man could be.

But no matter how much she speculated, she would never guess it was her upright and honorable uncle.

Juchen reached for her hand in a placating gesture. “I was wrong. Ranran, give me some time. Don’t interfere for now, and don’t tell anyone.”

Xuyang thought she was worried about her reputation.

But Juchen said, “I’m afraid if it gets out, it’ll damage his reputation.”

Xuyang: “…”

Where’s your dignity? Where’s your self-respect?

Who was it that once vowed never to fall into the quagmire of love or be tied down by a man?

Xuyang suddenly felt a vicarious embarrassment for her and asked coldly, “Is it that he doesn’t want to take responsibility?”

“No, I never expected him to.” Juchen paused for a moment. “I was the one who provoked him first.”

“So, you’re the one who doesn’t want to take responsibility?”

“He doesn’t seem to need me to.”

“Do you want to?”

Juchen hesitated, lowering her lashes. “I don’t not want to.”

Xuyang had never seen her like this flustered and shy, mixed with an inexplicable lack of confidence. Back in the day, she had been the most popular among them with men, often just a single glance enough to sweep away a crowd of young admirers trailing behind her.

Seeing her like this now, it was clear she had truly fallen for him heart and soul.

And of course, the man in question was a scoundrel.

Xuyang sighed, her gaze lingering on Juchen’s skin with a pang of sympathy.

While she could understand that anyone would lose control at the sight of such a body, he had been a little too rough, hadn’t he?

Juchen, however, defended him again: “It wasn’t that bad.”

He did like leaving marks all over her, as if branding her, but he had never actually hurt her.

Seeing her still shielding him, Xuyang knew she was beyond saving. Pinching Juchen’s earlobe, she scoffed, “Who knew you were into this? I thought you preferred the gentle type.”

Juchen wasn’t even sure what she liked. Her experience in this area was too shallow she didn’t realize he was indulging in her body, assuming this was just how things were.

“He was gentle,” Juchen insisted, her face flushed but stubborn. “These things are only fun when both people enjoy it.”

Though he liked experimenting with different positions, some of which made her unbearably shy as if it was too much he had indeed made her feel good.

Xuyang was so exasperated she laughed, releasing her ear to poke her forehead instead.

Juchen lowered her head and silently put on the clothes Xuyang had picked for her.

With another long sigh, Xuyang positioned her in front of the full length bronze mirror, pausing to admire her. Truly, her brows were like distant mountains, her waist as slender as willow branches; adorned and standing in the spring breeze, a single smile was worth a thousand gold.

Xuyang was thoroughly pleased, her own smile blooming like a flower. Just then, Yuan Zheng happened to pass by the door, and she quickly called him in to take a look.

But Yuan Zheng’s expression was grave. Faced with Xuyang’s summons, he didn’t even ask what was happening, merely saying, “No time right now,” before hurrying toward the main gate.

Xuyang rarely saw him so stern. She immediately summoned one of his personal guards to inquire and learned that the northern Turks had launched a sudden attack on the Tibetan border. The Tibetan king had sent a plea for aid, and the Empress Dowager had urgently summoned the Privy Council and the generals to the palace for discussion.

Standing nearby, Juchen’s faintly curved lips slowly straightened as she suddenly recalled the previous life. Back then, the Liang Dynasty had sent troops to assist Tibet, forging an alliance between the two nations. The following spring, a Tibetan delegation would arrive in the capital to sign the treaty. And it was then that Song Mi would receive an invitation from the Tibetan king to visit the northern frontier and experience its customs.

If she remembered correctly, she had heard that during this trip, he had a romantic encounter.

Not that it mattered. She had seen enough of the world to know that men having a fling or two was perfectly normal.

Juchen tried hard to convince herself it was fine. Absolutely fine.

By the end, she knew it wasn’t fine at all!

She hadn’t even secured him yet, and this trip would take at least a year.

For so long, had he forgotten her?

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but now that he had her, would his feelings truly fade?

Juchen regretted being too forward in the beginning.

Xuyang turned and saw her despondent expression, asking with concern, “What’s wrong?”

After a moment’s thought, Juchen grasped Xuyang’s hand. “Ranran, I want to learn archery.”

Xuyang gave her a sidelong glance, recalling how in the past, whenever she and Yuan Zheng tried to drag her along for autumn hunts, she’d resist every time, slumping over her horse with a quiver on her back like a lifeless worm.

Now she was volunteering to learn. Xuyang narrowed her eyes. “Is that person particularly skilled at archery?”

Juchen didn’t deny it but insisted, “It’s not entirely because of him.”

Xuyang didn’t believe her, sighing deeply. “Silly girl, if you want to appeal to his tastes, at least figure out what he likes first. Do you think learning archery just because he is good at it will make him notice you? Men don’t care about such things.”

Juchen asked naively, “Then what do they care about?”

Xuyang patted her head, smirked, then headed inside. From a hidden compartment beneath her pillow, she retrieved a treasured book she had kept for years and handed it to Juchen.

Juchen looked down the cover read Admonitions for Women.

So men in this world truly preferred obedient women? Skeptical, she flipped it open and was immediately met with illustrations of intertwined figures, flushing crimson in shock.

She snapped the book shut.

Xuyang patted her shoulder solemnly. “Go home and study this well.”

Juchen: “…”

As the sun set, Xuyang packed the new clothes back into the brocade box.

Noticing Juchen had eaten extra servings of the seasonal dried fruits, she had some packed for her too.

Juchen quietly returned the book under the pillow, but when the food box was handed over, Xuyang retrieved it and stuffed it to the very bottom.

Helpless, Juchen could only accept the gesture, her face burning.

Xuyang handed her both boxes, admiring the jade and gold bracelet on her wrist. Pleased, she decided to return a favor and packed another box for Song Mi.

Hearing Song Mi was still busy at the Secretariat, and since Juchen would pass by on her way home, she asked her to deliver it.

Juchen was happy to oblige.

But as she left, the maid accidentally swapped the boxes meant for her and Song Mi.

The sun dipped below the horizon, staining the sky amber like sugar soaked parchment.

Arriving at the Secretariat, Juchen politely stated her purpose, but the attendant on duty said the Prince of Pengshan had worked all day without eating. The Empress Dowager, upon hearing this, ordered him to rest, and he had already left the palace.

Nodding farewell, Juchen exited the West Gate and headed for the Ciyou Villa.

She only hoped he might be there. Entering the courtyard, she found him in the study, eyelids half-lowered, chin resting on his hand as he pondered over a map of the Liang border.

Quietly asking Yuan Ruo if he had eaten and receiving confirmation, Juchen left the box on the table without disturbing him and turned to leave.

Returning home, fortunately Juchen had been cautious, fearing others might discover the secret in the food box. As soon as she entered her bedroom and ensured no one was around, she immediately opened the box to find a hidden spot for the book.

To her surprise, when she pulled out the bottom drawer it was completely empty!

She froze for a moment, her beautiful eyes widening in shock, then turned and hurried out, rushing straight to the Sorrowless Retreat.

Juchen barged into the courtyard, pushed open the bedroom door, and found the food box still sitting untouched on the table.

She let out a sharp exhale of relief, only then noticing that her sprint had left a thin sheen of sweat at her temples and a flush creeping across her cheeks.

Just then, Song Mi stepped into the room. Seeing her lovely figure standing by the table, a tender smile flickered in his eyes as he approached. Noticing her sweat-dampened brow, he lifted his sleeve to gently wipe it away, teasing, “Were you in such a hurry to see me?”

Juchen hesitated briefly before nodding.

Song Mi wrapped an arm around her waist. “Missed me?”

She nodded again but lightly pushed him away. “Yes, missed the tea you made.”

Originally, they had agreed to meet at dusk, but Juchen had been restless since morning and decided to arrive early. Unexpectedly, Song Mi was already there. To mask her eagerness, she boldly invited him to the library to read together which later led to them encountering Song Yun.

Afterward, Song Mi had brewed her tea using the idle tea set in the library, and she had declared it the best cup she had ever tasted.

His brow arched in amusement. Juchen, in turn, wrapped her arms around his waist and pleaded for him to fetch the tea leaves, insisting she wanted to drink it again.

While Song Mi was gone, she quickly checked the food box.

But when she opened it the book had vanished.

Juchen stood frozen, her mind blank with panic.

Behind her, a familiar tall figure loomed close again. Song Mi leaned down over her shoulder, his warm breath brushing against her neck, sending a faint, ticklish shiver through her. “Looking for something?”

“Nothing!” she denied instantly, avoiding his gaze. “Just checking if the food was cold. Eating cold food is bad for the stomach.”

Song Mi studied her silently for a moment before letting out a cool “Oh,” his lips curving. “I thought you might be searching for this.”

The rare edition of Admonitions for Women appeared in his hand. Juchen’s pupils contracted, and she immediately stretched onto her tiptoes to snatch it.

But Song Mi raised it higher, making her miss and stumble straight into him.

Still dressed in his court robes a deep purple official garment with a jade belt he exuded an air of noble elegance, the authority of his high rank radiating from him. Yet now, his waist was firmly encircled by a petite figure clinging tightly to him.

He glanced at her, weighing the book in his hand with newfound amusement. “So this is what women call Admonitions for Women?”

Juchen blurted out, “No!”

“Then giving it to me were you hinting that I should study it?”

She denied again, “No!”

“Was it for yourself, then?”

Another denial, “No!”

Song Mi suddenly met her gaze, finding those clear, bright eyes now brimming with flustered embarrassment. He had no doubt that if a crack opened in the ground right then, she would dive into it without hesitation never to emerge again.

Having wiped her forehead once already, Juchen’s temples were once again beaded with cold sweat. She swallowed hard several times, yet still feigned composure as she blurted out in resignation, “What I mean is, we could both stand to learn a thing or two.”

Song Mai pondered for a moment before curling his lips into a smile. “Good idea.”

Yuan Ruo brought in the tea set.

“Still want some tea?” Song Mai asked.

With a parched throat, Juchen replied, “Yes.”

After downing four or five pots, she noticed Song Mai remained silent, watching her with keen interest until she grew fidgety. Just as she attempted to bid him farewell, he cut her off with an implicit invitation: “How about a bath together?”

Juchen froze. “Aren’t you tired?”

“Not anymore,” Song Mai chuckled.

Not tired? Why wasn’t he tired anymore? Was it because of that book?

Juchen’s scalp prickled her back stiffening. Though she verbally agreed, she swiftly turned him around and pushed him out the door toward the kitchen to have someone heat water.

Then, seizing the moment he was gone, she fled in panic.

Returning to find the room empty, Song Mai let out a derisive laugh.