Longing for Love (Twice Reborn) - Chapter 30

The Liang Dynasty dispatched troops to assist Tibet in resisting the Turkic invasion, driving the enemy back thousands of miles. The Tibetan king was immensely grateful and wished to personally visit the imperial court to forge an alliance.

Come early spring, the most important task for the court was to host the Tibetan envoy delegation. The court urgently recruited a group of female officials with some proficiency in archery and horsemanship to receive the female guests in the delegation.

In her past life, Juchen had been unskilled in archery and, aside from a brief appearance at the horse grounds, had not been involved in this major event. But after half a year of rigorous training under Princess Xuyang, this time, Juchen barely scraped past the passing mark in the assessment.

In recent days, Juchen had been accompanying the Empress Dowager, recording her words and actions to compile into the imperial diaries for the historical archives. During her interactions with the Empress Dowager, she revealed her fluency in Tibetan a skill she had acquired in her previous life.

Most of the interpreters from the Court of State Ceremonial were men, and the Empress Dowager had long desired a female official proficient in Tibetan to attend to her. Juchen immediately fit her needs.

Accepting the Empress Dowager’s urgent appointment, Juchen bowed deeply in gratitude, her mind already calculating. The deeper she became involved in this matter, the more opportunities she would have to either stop Song Mi from going to the frontier or accompany him there.

Having successfully completed the first step, Juchen couldn’t help but smile as she walked briskly along the palace thoroughfare toward home, passing through the Chui Gong Gate.

It had been a long time since she had paused to admire the sunset over the palace eaves. Bathed in the golden glow of the winter sun, she lingered for a moment before continuing on her way. As she crossed the southern gate, she happened to see the Emperor and Empress emerging from the South Palace Gate.

Juchen looked up and saw His Majesty in his wide sleeved dragon robes, his steps steady. Though his expression should have been solemn and dignified, it was instead filled with tenderness as he held Empress Feng’s hand, frequently glancing back at her. When they reached the imperial carriage, he even extended both hands to personally help her board.

Feng Zhenzhen’s lips were also curved in a smile, but compared to the Emperor’s genuine delight, hers carried a faint trace of cold detachment.

Just then, Princess Xuyang’s palanquin suddenly appeared, blocking their path to the imperial gardens.

Xuyang lifted her skirts as she stepped down, offering a perfunctory greeting to her sister-in-law before directly summoning the Emperor down for a conversation right at the gate.

The siblings shared a deep bond, and despite her boldness, the Emperor could only smile helplessly before gently urging the Empress to return to the inner palace first. He had arranged her favorite opera performance and prepared the snacks she loved.

“Go ahead and enjoy yourself. I’ll join you shortly,” the Emperor said warmly.

Feng Zhenzhen nodded, her gaze flickering briefly toward Xuyang before she departed in her carriage. As she turned toward the inner palace gate, she inadvertently caught sight of Li Juchen standing by the palace wall.

Juchen bowed deeply from a distance.

The Empress paid her no mind, her gaze shifting forward again, her chin lifted high.

The Feng family had been distinguished for generations, having produced three Grand Preceptors. Feng Zhenzhen had been raised in the palace since childhood, and from the moment she could understand, those around her had told her that her future lay as a royal daughter-in-law and if she won the Crown Prince’s favor, she would one day become the Empress.

The Crown Prince at the time, now the reigning Emperor, had indeed fallen for her at first sight. But her heart had always belonged to the youngest son of the retired Emperor Prince Pengshan, Song Mi.

Feng Zhenzhen came from an illustrious family and held herself in the highest regard. She had never once considered Juchen worthy of her attention.

The only thing Juchen remembered her saying later was asking if she liked Song Mi.

Then, after the deposed emperor was removed, the empress dowager stripped the current emperor and her of their titles, banished them from the capital, and exiled them to Lingnan.

Juchen went to deliver the imperial decree, dressed in purple robes, stepping out of the palanquin. Feng Zhenzhen looked up at her and flashed a bitter, mocking smile. “Who would have thought in the end, it’s you who ended up in this position.”

At the gates of the Southern Palace.

Princess Xuyang unceremoniously pointed her delicate finger at the emperor’s nose. “Are you casting me aside as your sister?”

The emperor frowned and protested his innocence.

Xuyang crossed her arms and shot him a sidelong glance. “Then why did you dock my stipend?”

The emperor immediately straightened his expression and gently reprimanded her, saying that as the eldest princess of the imperial family, she ought to set an example for noblewomen less staying out all night, less mingling with men outside the palace.

After Xuyang returned to the capital, with no mother-in-law hovering over her, she and Yuan Zheng enjoyed a few peaceful days. But before long, the Princess of Yunnan sent Yuan Zheng’s cousin to the capital, claiming she had no one else to rely on and sought refuge with her cousin. In truth, it was an attempt to foster feelings between them so Yuan Zheng could take her as a concubine.

From then on, Xuyang began frequenting Lin Zongbai’s newly established Crane Residence by Yaojin Pond, often staying overnight and not returning.

Xuyang shrugged it off, pursing her lips. “We came from the same womb why is it that my brother gets three palaces and six courtyards, while I’m forced into a marriage? If I prefer staying out, what’s the harm?”

Her words were bold, but the emperor was not angered. Instead, he gritted his teeth and pinched her cheek with a laugh.

Ordinary people knew little of these imperial relatives, glimpsing only fragments of them in storybooks dressed in brocade, solemn and dignified.

They often assumed such figures, caught in the whirlpool of supreme power, lived precarious lives, their every move measured, their words layered with calculation and deliberation.

But Juchen, having grown up watching them, knew the emperor’s children were no different from ordinary siblings they quarreled, made up, spoke frankly, and acted freely.

The emperor said solemnly, “Though I have a harem, I’ve only ever favored your sister-in-law.”

Xuyang scoffed. “You can afford to say that because you married the one you love. You weren’t like this before.” Then, like a child, she threw a tantrum.

“It’s not fair! If you banish Feng Zhenzhen from the palace, I will make Lin Zongbai disband the Crane Residence. If you suffer the same as your sister, I’ll never pester you again.”

The emperor laughed in exasperation and patted her head. “You, you impossible girl!”

Juchen stood silently nearby, watching the emperor’s doting smile, and suddenly remembered their youth when Xuyang had once fallen gravely ill with a plague. The entire imperial city was thrown into panic, and ministers begged the emperor and empress not to approach the princess for fear of contagion.

Yet the emperor disregarded his own safety and insisted on staying by Xuyang’s bedside with Juchen.

At one point, Xuyang opened her eyes, certain she might not survive, tears welling as she tried to shoo them away.

Juchen refused to leave.

Xuyang could only look at her brother. “You are the true dragon, destined to inherit the throne and unify the realm. Don’t let Xuyang become a sinner for eternity.”

The emperor remained unmoved, holding her hand firmly. “They say the true dragon is protected by divine will. If I can’t even protect you by your side, what kind of true dragon would I be?”

Xuyang was deeply moved by these words. After recovering from her illness, the bond between the siblings grew even stronger.

Even when the court later became turbulent and everyone sought to protect themselves, Xuyang remained steadfastly loyal to the emperor. To safeguard his precarious position in their mother’s eyes and prevent the rebellious Feng family from causing trouble, she even instigated a palace coup in an attempt to purge the court of corrupt officials, ultimately landing herself in the Dali Prison.

Looking back on the past and observing the present, Juchen now realized that Xuyang’s seemingly childish tantrums were actually her testing the emperor’s feelings toward the Feng family. She wanted to know whether her brother valued his sister or his wife more.

In Xuyang’s eyes, if she wanted to protect her brother’s peace, she would inevitably have to oppose the Feng family. If her brother wouldn’t stand with her, she needed to prepare for the worst in advance.

Juchen had once thought Xuyang was simply spoiled and carefree, living a life of indulgence. But now she saw that Xuyang possessed a unique cleverness. If not for her unconventional methods, she would have been far more decisive and pragmatic than her brother.

The emperor was kind hearted too kind hearted, often indecisive and swayed by the slander of the Feng family, allowing them to wreak havoc in the court.

This was the fundamental reason the empress dowager later deposed him.

He was a good brother to Xuyang and a good husband to Empress Feng, but he failed to be a good emperor.

And when forced to choose between his kingdom and his beloved, he ultimately chose the latter.

Juchen sighed inwardly, unable to suppress a quiet exhale.

At that moment, the siblings at the palace gates seemed to sense something and turned in unison, spotting Juchen. Both faces lit up with warm smiles.

Juchen stepped forward to bow. The emperor smiled and gestured for her to rise, giving her a brief but assessing glance before remarking gently, “You seem different from before.”

Juchen paused slightly, sensing he was referring to her more restrained demeanor.

Noticing his gaze lingering on Juchen’s attire she happened to be wearing the new clothes Xuyang had gifted her Xuyang chimed in, “Shouldn’t the ladies of the inner court dress well? By the ranks of female officials, if A-Chen climbs higher, she could even become one of your concubines.”

The positions of the Phoenix Pavilion’s female officials were aligned with the ranks of the imperial harem. By tradition, every woman in the palace belonged to the emperor in some capacity.

The emperor waved his hand with a laugh. “I dare not claim such fortune.”

Everyone knew the ranks of the Phoenix Pavilion’s female officials were merely titles for salary purposes under the empress dowager’s authority.

These women served the empress dowager wholeheartedly. If he so much as laid a finger on them, it would be seen as challenging his mother’s power and she would surely take offense.

Xuyang scoffed at him. After inquiring about Juchen’s recent affairs and hearing she had just finished her evaluations and was currently free, she nudged Juchen’s arm and asked without hesitation, “Want to come with me to the Crane Manor tonight? They just got a new male dancer his moves are incredible.”

The emperor scolded her sharply, “Didn’t I just forbid you from staying out overnight? Now you’re trying to corrupt others too?”

Xuyang stuck out her tongue, her expression defiant. The emperor, preoccupied with thoughts of the empress, seized the moment while she was chatting with Juchen to make his exit.

“Hey!” Xuyang called after him, stomping her foot at his retreating figure.

Left with no choice, she and Juchen left the palace together.

As they walked along the imperial thoroughfare, Xuyang circled back to her earlier proposal, asking if Juchen would accompany her to the Crane Manor to broaden her horizons.

Juchen didn’t answer but instead asked, “Ran Ran, are you doing this to make Yuan Zheng jealous?”

Xu Yang paused in her steps and sneered, “I just can’t be bothered to stay in the mansion and watch his cousin’s half hearted flirtations. There are plenty of men in this world. Our marriage was arranged by imperial decree it’s not like either of us can’t live without the other.”

In the past, Juchen might have believed such nonsense, but now she ignored it. “If you care about him, you could just tell him you’re unhappy. Acting like this will only make him think you have no feelings for him at all.”

“I don’t have feelings for him. Besides, if he cared about me, why hasn’t he sent that woman away yet?”

“Yuan Zheng has a gentle nature. He grew up without his parents’ care and already feels he is failed in his filial duties. After marriage, he should have taken his wife home to serve his parents, yet he returned to the capital for your sake. How can you expect him to defy the princess consort now?”

Juchen wasn’t trying to make Xu Yang yield she only wanted her to understand Yuan Zheng’s predicament. Only by mutual understanding could they stand united as husband and wife.

But Xu Yang dismissed it outright, cutting her off. “Then let him marry her, as his mother wishes. I have no objections.”

“He won’t marry her. Don’t you understand?”

Juchen’s words were earnest and well intentioned, but Xu Yang grew slightly impatient and sighed. “Enough of this it’s pointless. Instead of wasting effort trying to reconcile a mismatched pair, why not come with me to clear my mind?”

Juchen hesitated for a long moment before finally choosing silence.

Matters of the heart couldn’t be forced. If she wanted to break this deadlock, the first step was to plan for a future where their fate could be changed. Only with enough time could true feelings be revealed.

Seeing Juchen calm down, Xu Yang instantly reverted to her playful, carefree demeanor, tugging at her wrist and pestering her repeatedly about whether she would accompany her to Xianhe Manor.

“Will you come or not? Huh? Will you? Will you?”

Juchen let out a long sigh and was about to reply when a tall figure suddenly appeared around the corner ahead. Bathed in the glow of the setting sun, his silhouette seemed to radiate a soft halo as he asked gently, “Where are you going?”

Juchen’s steps faltered. He must have heard Xu Yang’s coquettish pleas from afar, which was why he’d asked the moment they met.

“Uncle.” Xu Yang pulled Juchen into a respectful bow.

Song Mi gave a slight nod, then looked at Juchen. “Minister Li, are you off duty already?”

Listen to that “already” anyone would think him, as her superior, hadn’t worked her hard enough and found her workload insufficient.

In truth, it was simply because Juchen had declined his invitation earlier, citing official duties as her excuse.

Juchen’s scalp prickled as she replied stiffly, “I wasn’t supposed to leave so soon, but something urgent came up at home.”

After recalling Song Mi’s past romantic escapades, she had realized she shouldn’t spend too much time with him, lest he grow bored of her. As the envoy’s arrival drew nearer, the moments they shared became increasingly scarce.

Song Mi didn’t press her further, only asking, “Where were you two planning to go just now?”

“Nowhere” Xu Yang had barely uttered the word when, under Song Mi’s unfathomable gaze, she suddenly could not gauge the cost of lying to him. She lowered her head meekly and murmured, “Xianhe Manor.”

Song Mi’s brows furrowed slightly, and after a brief silence, he asked, “Were you just inviting her to go with you?”

Seeing no reprimand in his expression, Xu Yang nodded obediently.

“Did she agree to you?”

Xuyang was about to say she was close to agreeing.

“Impossible!” Juchen blurted out, her voice rising slightly before she caught herself. Lowering her gaze, she resumed a respectful tone, “This humble official still has a pile of duties to attend to how could I possibly have time for such things?”

Xuyang exposed her: “Didn’t you just say you’ve had nothing urgent lately?”

“…Even so, I wouldn’t go to that kind of place!”

Juchen spoke with absolute conviction, yet under Song Mi’s unwavering stare, the certainty in her eyes gradually wavered.

As their gazes locked, she clearly recalled something a flicker of memory flashed in her eyes before her focus drifted aimlessly.

Before Song Mi could notice the unusual flush on her cheeks, Juchen seized the moment, grabbed Xuyang, and fled right under his nose.

She had assumed that after this encounter, Song Mi would realize she had no intention of meeting him anytime soon and would disdainfully leave her be, unwilling to chase after her indifference.

Anxious, Juchen considered finding an opportunity later to properly explain herself.

But the very next day, she received an oral decree from the Empress Dowager: effective immediately, she was to oversee the renovation of the gardens at the Northern Imperial Park, representing the Phoenix Pavilion to assist Prince Pengshan in coordinating matters related to the envoy reception.

On her first day at the Northern Imperial Park, Juchen entered the pavilion with downcast eyes, barely managing to suppress the customary polite remarks about being new and inexperienced, hoping for guidance.

Song Mi sat alone at the desk, looked up at her, and sneered, “Minister Li, I’ve been swamped with duties lately and may require your full assistance. I suppose places like the Crane Manor or the Egret Manor will have to wait.”