Longing for Love (Twice Reborn) - Chapter 34

Tonight, Juchen arrived at Ciyou Retreat as promised. Crossing the courtyard gate, she found Song Mo standing alone beneath a tree, one hand resting on a plum branch as he gazed absently at the delicate white blossoms.

With light steps, she approached and looped her arm through his elbow, her eyes curving into crescents as she asked to borrow a book.

The young woman held onto him gently, her soft curves brushing faintly against his arm. Song Mo turned to look at her, his voice low and measured.

“You came to me just for this?”

“Mhm.” Juchen remembered Yong’an mentioning how rare that travelogue was. She gave his hand a slight tug. “Just for a few days I promise I won’t damage it.”

Song Mo studied her for a long moment beneath his lowered lashes before nodding. “The book is in the study.”

The study had always been a private domain for official matters, and Juchen wouldn’t dare enter without his permission. Song Mo led her there himself.

Upon entering, he gestured idly toward a corner of the bookshelf. Juchen stepped forward, rising onto her tiptoes to retrieve the travelogue from among the treasured ancient texts.

She pulled it down, cradling it in her palms to confirm it was the right one, a faint smile gracing her lips. But the moment she turned around, the study’s lantern was abruptly extinguished.

By the time Song Mo moved her from the bookshelf to the desk, Juchen was left in nothing but a thin undergarment, already pushed up to her collarbones.

Though Juchen was slender and graceful, the man’s imposing frame overshadowed her completely as he braced his hands against the desk, his shadow enveloping her, making her appear delicate and alluring.

Moonlight spilled through the translucent window paper, casting silver streaks across Juchen’s bare shoulders. She sat atop the desk, legs bare, her dark hair cascading against pale skin, her clear eyes like those of a celestial being who had unwittingly fallen to the mortal realm.

Song Mo plucked the jade hairpin from her temple, letting her inky tresses spill across the desk. Juchen glanced down, realizing she was seated exactly where he usually reviewed official documents surrounded by his writing tools and towering stacks of memorials.

Her fingers, pale as spring onions with tips like tender peach petals, trembled as they traced the fabric over his chest before clutching it tightly. Her gaze flustered, she pleaded, “Can we go back to the bedroom?”

She couldn’t bear the thought of being so brazen in his workspace. The mere image of him sitting here later, red brush in hand, while visions of her bare form flashed before his eyes made her burn with shame, wishing she could vanish into the ground.

Song Mo swept the obstructive items off the desk in one motion, shattering any hope of retreat.

Her jade-like shoulder blades quivered as Juchen was forced to tilt her head back, surrendering to his kiss. The crisp, cool scent of him mingled with the lingering incense from the golden beast shaped burner nearby the same contraceptive fragrance often lit in the bedroom.

He had planned this from the start. The moment this realization struck her, Juchen’s cheeks flushed uncontrollably.

Song Mo gripped her chin, applying just enough pressure to keep her lips parted, denying her any reprieve as their tongues tangled, their breaths mingling in a series of scandalously wet sounds.

His kisses trailed from her lips to her burning cheeks, then down her neck. Seated as she was, with him standing over her, Song Mo’s gaze swept downward, taking in every exquisite detail laid bare before him.

Dazed by his affections, Juchen’s lashes fluttered half-closed as she felt his warm breath ghost over her ear. “One more kiss?”

Before Juchen could react to why he was asking they had been kissing all along her body suddenly trembled violently, seized by spasms.

She clenched her teeth, shame burning her eyes red as she tilted her chin high, not daring to look down.

Wave after wave of tingling numbness spread from her back down to her calves and even between her toes. Her feet went weak, leaving her no choice but to helplessly press them against his shoulders while her hands clung to his back.

In the dimly lit corner of the study, soft, ambiguous sounds of licking and swallowing filled the air.

Then, with a long, fragmented moan driven to madness by the stimulation Song Mi lifted his head and impatiently pulled away the hand she had used to muffle her voice.

Juchen saw his face glistening with moisture. Tears of humiliation overflowed like a breached riverbank. Sniffling, she reached out with trembling fingers to wipe it away.

But Song Mi simply grabbed the hem of her undergarment and wiped himself off.

Then, gripping the back of her head, he kissed her again. Despite the fine sweat already dampening her temples from his relentless teasing, she still wrapped her arms around his neck, surrendering to his demands.

The frustration and restlessness that had plagued Song Mi all day gradually dissolved in the spaces between her fingers as she held him.

She always disarmed him so effortlessly just a little tenderness from her, and his heart would capitulate completely.

Which only made another part of him burn even hotter with impatience.
Song Mi pushed aside his robes, pressing her down onto the desk. He pried her hand away from her eyes, forcing her to look at him.

“Why won’t you look at me?” he demanded.

Juchen kept her eyes tightly shut, utterly bewildered. How could she possibly stare at him openly while they were doing something like this? Wouldn’t he mistake her for some shameless hussy?

But his thoughts were clearly nothing like hers. The more she avoided his gaze, the more stubbornly he insisted on locking eyes. “If you won’t look at me, are you imagining someone else in my place?”

“I’m not.” Juchen’s eyes flew open, only to land on his broad chest. Her pulse spiked, but curiosity won out her gaze involuntarily trailed downward, taking in the defined muscles of his abdomen before she hastily squeezed her eyes shut again.

Too late. The image of something thick and imposing was already seared into her mind.

This was exactly why she hadn’t wanted to look!

Yet today, he seemed determined to torment her, relentlessly prying her eyelids open until she had no choice but to meet his gaze.

Song Mi thrust into her in one swift motion, watching with satisfaction as her eyes widened in shock. He was greedy even if it angered her, he wanted her to see nothing but him in this moment.

Juchen still refused to make a sound, biting down hard, her beautiful eyes fixed unwaveringly on the ornate ceiling beams above.

He shifted positions, holding her waist firmly to keep her from losing balance.

Her hands braced against the desk as a wave of heat surged from behind, making her fingers curl instinctively into fists.

But before her nails could dig into her palms, the man behind her grabbed her wrists, forcing them open and pulling them back until her posture resembled a white egret arching its neck in flight.

A deep flush exploded across Juchen’s cheek

——

By the time Song Mi wrapped her in his cloak and carried her back to the bedroom, Juchen had already passed out from exhaustion.

Pushing open the door, Song Mi approached the bed, lifted the quilt, and carefully placed her on the pillow. He reached out to brush aside the damp strands of hair scattered across her cheeks, tucking them behind her ears.

Juchen’s lashes fluttered slightly, but she didn’t wake.

Song Mi lowered his gaze. In the dim light, her skin was almost dazzlingly pale, her entire body flushed with a delicate, enchanting pink.

This time had been excessive. Even when he brought water to clean her, the slightest touch made her tremble.

Song Mi finished quickly, extinguishing the lamps in the room until only the soft moonlight spilled over the bed.

He climbed onto the bed, pulling her into his arms, holding her close. His body was satisfied, yet his heart was a tangle of emotions. Annoyed, yet she had quelled his frustration he couldn’t stay angry. Content, yet it still felt incomplete.

A feather light kiss brushed Juchen’s forehead. Her eyes cracked open slightly, still lost in sleep, devoid of any real awareness. She nuzzled against his jaw and murmured softly.

“Song Zhengzhi.”

Song Mi’s eyes widened slightly, his dark pupils flickering. It was the first time in this life he had heard her call his full name so clearly.

They had already shared the most intimate act between a man and a woman. She had even been guided by him, riding atop him with bold dominance.

Yet every time she spoke, she only dared to address him respectfully as “Your Highness.” She had not been as audacious as in her past life, where she would stomp her feet in frustration, shouting “Song Mi” or “Song Zhengzhi” even pointing at him and yelling “that Song bastard.”

Song Mi looked down at her. Though it was just a sleep laden whisper, somehow, carried by the wind into his ears, it seeped into his heart, unraveling the last traces of displeasure coiled within him.

After a brief silence, he tightened his embrace and answered softly, “I’m here.”

The next morning, the crow of a rooster heralded the dawn as a beam of sunlight streamed through the window, spilling into the bed curtains.

Juchen furrowed her brows and slowly opened her eyes. The familiar lotus colored bed canopy greeted her. She lay still for a moment, staring blankly at the embroidered orchid sachets hanging from the four corners of the bed each serving their purpose before rubbing her temples and pushing herself up.

The blankets covering her were soft, and the space beside her was empty.

Juchen’s beautiful eyes widened as she fixed her gaze on the vacant pillow.

Last night, she had dreamed something so ordinary that, for a moment, she couldn’t distinguish whether it had been reality or a dream.

She dreamed she had returned to her past life, just as she always did carrying a flask of aged wine and his favorite pastries sitting before his tombstone, telling him about everything she had seen and heard lately.

He had never been one to sit still, though he wasn’t exactly restless either.

Now, lying in that sunless grave, he must have been unbearably bored every day.

She came to keep him company daily. Sometimes, when life grew dull, she wished she could follow him and just leave it all behind. But whenever she remembered how her life had been spared, Juchen didn’t dare take her own.

She poured herself drinks, talking to herself until she grew tired, then leaned against that cold stone, whispering his name over and over.

In the final days of her life, she had called out to him thousands of times, but the one lying beneath that stone never answered.

Yet last night, it was as if he had finally heard her.

And softly, he had replied.

That single response echoed through her dream, filling her with an indescribable peace, letting her sleep soundly through the night.

When Juchen opened his eyes and suddenly found no one beside him, he was so startled that he slipped on his shoes and rushed to push open the door.

To the right of the bedroom, the adjustable window of the study had already been propped open. There he stood before the bookshelf, his face partially obscured by the window paper, yet his tall, elegant figure and refined demeanor made him unmistakable at a glance.

Juchen heaved a sigh of relief and couldn’t help but take a few steps toward him. But when his gaze fell on the desk beside the man, his footsteps abruptly halted his mind instantly flooded with the unspeakable scenes from the previous night.

Yuan Ruo had received Song Mi’s instructions earlier to knock and summon him once she awoke.

When Yuan Ruo appeared at the study door, Song Mi turned and set down the documents in his hand, stepping away from the desk. He had intended to order Yuan Ruo to have the kitchen bring breakfast to the master bedroom.

But Yuan Ruo hesitated, then bowed his head and reported truthfully, “Master, Lady Li Dianji ran away the moment she woke up.”