Longing for Love (Twice Reborn) - Chapter 35
Juchen rushed back to the rear courtyard of the Li residence just as her father was emerging from Luoxia Pavilion, preparing to leave for court.
Li Ling was running late today and hurried straight toward the main gate without noticing his eldest daughter standing at the other end of the corridor.
Juchen deliberately slowed her steps. Just then, Concubine Wu chased after him from inside, catching his wrist with a smile on her lips as she adjusted his official cap.
Li Ling responded gently, patting the back of her hand.
Li Wuyou, having finished his bowl of meat broth, jumped up from the dining table and ran to the door, calling out to him, “Father, remember to come back early today! I haven’t finished telling you about what I saw and heard yesterday at the Northern Imperial Garden!”
“Alright!” Li Ling shouted in reply before turning and striding away.
Concubine Wu watched his retreating figure with a smile for a moment before turning and spotting a graceful figure approaching from the other side of the corridor. She hesitated briefly, then lifted her skirts and stepped forward, curtsying deeply to Juchen with heartfelt gratitude.
“Had it not been for the young mistress’s efforts outside, Wuyou would never have had the privilege to attend such a grand banquet,” Concubine Wu said, her eyes brimming with sincere appreciation.
Juchen gave a slight nod. It hadn’t taken much effort on her part, so she simply told her not to stand on ceremony.
Seeing this, Li Wuyou hurried over to bow and express his thanks as well.
When he lifted his gaze to Juchen, admiration shone in his eyes. “At the banquet, I heard that Eldest Sister had been assisting Prince Pengshan in hosting the grand event at the Northern Imperial Garden. Many officials praised your wisdom and meticulousness. Yesterday, I was fortunate enough to witness the prince’s prowess with the bow—it filled me with awe. To think Eldest Sister could work alongside someone as transcendent as him! Surely, your future will be bright, with success at every step.”
The corner of Juchen’s lips twitched as she silently accepted his flattery.
She couldn’t help but wonder how the boy would react if he knew about Song Mi’s actions in the study last night whether he would still describe him as “transcendent.”
That flawless, ethereal man had been dragged down from the clouds by her, pressed against her as they indulged in earthly desires, their purity utterly ruined. Just the thought of it made Juchen feel the weight of her sins she bore full responsibility.
As she was lost in self-reproach, the familiar voice of Lady Wen came from behind. “My daughter is a court official personally appointed by Her Majesty a phoenix among mortals. Naturally, her future is bright, and she will surely be the envy of countless people in the days to come.”
Concubine Wu and Li Wuyou bowed to the lady of the house as was proper. Lady Wen held her head high, her face filled with pride, and spared them no further words before turning to ask Juchen if she had been working late again at the Phoenix Pavilion the previous night.
Juchen’s eyes flickered as she murmured an affirmative. Lady Wen smiled in satisfaction, though a trace of concern soon surfaced. She placed both hands on Juchen’s shoulders, studying her face carefully.
She had worried that her daughter’s relentless work would leave her looking haggard and sallow, but now she saw that wasn’t the case. Though slightly thinner, Juchen’s skin remained radiant like polished jade even more glowing than usual, like peach blossoms nourished by spring rain, so tender they seemed ready to burst with moisture.
The palace’s provisions must be adequate, Lady Wen thought with relief.
Patting Juchen’s shoulder fondly, she led her back to their courtyard to share a meal.
Juchen ladled soup for her mother.
Lady Wen gazed at the lavish breakfast spread across the table, recalling that today was the fifteenth the day Li Ling should accompany her by custom.
She had risen early to prepare everything, smiling as she sent servants to summon the master for breakfast in her chambers. Yet he sent word back that Lady Wu had already prepared his meal, and he would be dining at Sunset Pavilion this morning.
Her fingertips turned white as she clenched the bamboo chopsticks. Unable to contain herself, she said to Juchen, “Your father has praised you often lately. Since you have leisure, you might as well discuss the ways of governance with him more.”
This way, Li Ling would feel he had a kindred spirit in Wutong Courtyard someone to confide in and wouldn’t spend all his time at Sunset Pavilion.
But Juchen was no kindred spirit to Li Ling. She glanced silently at Lady Wen and asked softly, “Does Mother rejoice in Father’s praise of me?”
“Of course I do.”
Juchen suddenly wanted to ask was it his praise that pleased her, or her own excellence?
The words lingered on her tongue before she swallowed them back.
Silently watching Lady Wen, Juchen couldn’t help but wonder: If Mother knew she had spent last night in reckless abandon with a man, would she support her in bravely pursuing the one she loved even if he stood so high above that everyone would call her delusional? Or would she think her daughter lacked self-respect, shamelessly chasing after an impossible dream and bringing disgrace upon her?
She looked at her, at the closest bl00d tie she had in this world, lips parting and closing for a long while, too afraid to voice her heart. So she would never know the answer.
Lowering her head, she silently ladled a bowl of millet congee Li Ling’s favorite from the table.
Li Wanyu passed quietly by Wutong Courtyard and saw Juchen finishing breakfast, preparing to return to her chambers to change. Soon, that diligent figure would once again head toward the place where nobility resided.
Her own marriage negotiations had been going poorly lately, earning her father’s reproach. Meanwhile, Juchen seemed to be rising steadily.
Dejected, Li Wanyu returned to Sunset Pavilion, where Li Wuyou was still murmuring about the grand feast at the Northern Royal Gardens. Ever since returning yesterday, he had been recounting it endlessly, using every flowery phrase he knew to describe the magnificence of the event and to praise the mighty Prince Pengshan, whose power overshadowed all.
Li Wanyu slumped her arms onto the table, resting her head in defeat. After staring blankly at the sewing basket before her for a long moment, she suddenly turned to Aunt Wu and said, “I want to become a court official too.”
——
Before the bronze mirror, Juchen changed her clothes. Mingluan brought over the memorial she had prepared for the Empress Dowager from the desk. Seeing the ink and brush, Juchen suddenly remembered she had forgotten to bring back the travelogue she had borrowed.
Borrowing the book had been her original purpose, but the moment he pulled her into his arms, it had slipped her mind entirely.
Ashamed of her own weakness for charm over duty, she had no choice but to steel herself and return at dusk to retrieve it.
Inevitably, she was pressed against the bookshelves once more, subjected to lingering kisses.
Fortunately, the man had been well fed the night before and was in a contented mood. Seeing Juchen’s legs tremble, her hands pressed against his chest, her eyes filled with resistance, he released her and sent her home.
The next day, Juchen carried the travelogue to the foot of the imperial city, intending to deliver it to Yong’an in the inner palace after her duties ended.
The Empress Dowager had been keeping Yong’an in the palace these past few days.
And on this very day, during the palace banquet, the King of Tubo proposed an alliance between their nations through marriage. He offered his queen’s position, selecting a suitable royal maiden to wed, securing a century of peace with Great Liang.
Her Majesty the Empress Dowager immediately consented, promising that within five days, suitable royal maidens of marriageable age would be selected for the Tibetan king to meet.
Upon hearing this news, Juchen stood silently for a long while at the inner palace gate, clutching her travelogue in hand, before smiling at the gatekeeper and saying, “Pardon the disturbance, but there’s been a sudden change of plans today. Could you kindly inform Her Highness Princess Yong’an that I’ll return to see her in a few days?”
She turned and left, her carriage departing through Donghua Gate. After a moment’s hesitation, she instructed the coachman to change course toward the Golden Market.
The time it took for an incense stick to burn later, the carriage came to a halt with a clatter in front of a spice and medicinal shop run by a foreign merchant.
Lifting her skirts, Juchen stepped down and entered the shop. Approaching the counter, she asked the proprietor softly, “Might you have any poppy pollen in stock?”
Poppies originated from the Western Regions and were brought to the Central Plains by foreign merchants. Their pollen held remarkable medicinal value, renowned for its calming and anxiety relieving properties.
Years ago, when foreign trade first flourished and the earliest Western merchants arrived in the Eastern Capital, the Princess Consort had specially invited a prominent merchant to give them a lecture, hoping to broaden their horizons. That day, the merchant had brought along a pot of poppies.
Intrigued, Juchen had leaned in closest for a sniff only to break out in hives by afternoon.
Xuyang, alarmed, had hastily summoned the head of the Imperial Medical Bureau. After thorough examination, it was discovered she had an allergic reaction to the foreign plant and Yong’an had suffered the same fate.
Juchen still remembered that their symptoms had been limited to rashes, with no further complications. But to be safe, after obtaining the pollen, she tested it on herself first.
She was plotting a little scheme of her own only to have it ruthlessly exposed by Song Mi the very next day.
The following morning, Juchen, wearing a veil, arrived at the Grand Secretariat under the Empress Dowager’s orders to deliver official documents to Song Mi. He was seated at his desk, brush in hand as he drafted a memorial, when the sound of familiar footsteps drew near. Lifting his gaze, he froze momentarily.
His dark, fathomless eyes lingered on her veiled face, and for an instant, a similar scene flashed through his mind.
Song Mi suddenly remembered in his past life, after the female emperor’s passing, with the new emperor still young and the Cao family’s ambitions threatening the realm, he had been urgently recalled from Rome by a joint petition from the Grand Secretariat ministers. Returning to the capital as regent, he had taken up office in the imperial study.
One day, exhausted from consecutive days of toil, his eyes shadowed and his mind foggy, Yuan Ruo had guided him to a daybed to rest. Recalling that Lin Zongbai had once gifted a new Western sedative incense rumored to be exceptionally effective, Yuan Ruo had lit some in a burner to help Song Mi relax.
That afternoon, as fate would have it, Juchen had come to the study to discuss matters with him.
When Song Mi awoke, the incense was still burning.
The next day, Juchen appeared at the palace gates wearing a veil. Spotting his palanquin, she stormed over and snapped, “Song Mi, you’ve wronged me again!”
Frowning in confusion, he pulled her into his carriage and yanked off her veil.
A shocking rash marred her face, severely diminishing her beauty. A pang of guilt pierced Song Mi’s heart, and without thinking, he tilted her chin up, his thumb brushing her cheek.
Juchen’s eyes widened in outrage. Interpreting his intimate gesture as mockery from the culprit, she slapped his hand away.
She angrily accused him as they sat arguing in the carriage. Only then did Song Mi realize she was allergic to poppies that day’s calming incense had contained a trace of poppy pollen.
Within the cabinet offices, in a small chamber reserved for Prince Pengshan’s work, Juchen noticed his gaze and silently lowered her head, adjusting her veil more securely. She carefully placed the documents on his desk and turned to leave.
Song Mi tapped the desk lightly. “Stay.”
Juchen’s back stiffened before she reluctantly turned. “What are Your Highness’s instructions?”
With a glance at Yuan Ruo signaling him to keep watch outside, Song Mi patted the empty space beside him. “Come here.”
Juchen drew a sharp breath but obediently approached. Sitting was out of the question she stood before him radiating silent pleas for mercy, her demeanor utterly submissive.
Song Mi did not press further, merely tilting his chin. “What’s wrong with your face?”
“This humble official suffers spring allergies. It’s nothing serious.” Her eyes drifted toward the ceiling beams.
“You didn’t have this last year.”
“Not every spring. Perhaps the wind carries particular allergens recently.”
Lies.
She was only allergic to poppies flowers recently introduced from the Western Regions, scarcely cultivated in the eastern capital. This overly elaborate falsehood inevitably caught Song Mi’s attention.
He studied her before beckoning. “Closer.”
Juchen stared stubbornly at her hemline until Song Mi’s sharp cough sent chills down her spine, forcing compliance.
“Closer still.”
“……”
Compelled to his side, she kept her face lowered to hide the rash. Suddenly his long arm yanked her into an embrace.
Her beautiful eyes widened as she struggled against his chest. Song Mi tightened his grip with a cold laugh. “Unless you start telling the truth, I’ll keep holding you like this until someone walks in.”
“Or perhaps you’d prefer I pin you to this desk and let others see how intimate we’ve become?”