Longing for Love (Twice Reborn) - Chapter 7

The night was cool as water, with layers of drifting clouds lingering around the moon.

The courtyard was silent, save for the murmuring sound of flowing water. A few koi fish surfaced near the main house, drawn by the lamplight, their tails swaying until a woman’s soft gasp startled them into scattering.

Before the hibiscus curtained bed, the drapes had long been drawn.

Juchen knelt on the bedding, her gaze unfocused as she stared at the warm glow beyond the canopy. She clenched her jaw tightly, yet by the end, she could not suppress a whimper.

Before she could recover from the lingering sensations, Song Mi shifted position, turning her waist from behind and lifting her ankle.

From this angle, he could see the woman beneath him with perfect clarity.

Juchen’s entire body was exquisitely crafted smooth as jade from head to toe, save for a single vermilion mole behind her ear. Yet this flawless figure, once on the bed, needed only a few kisses for her collarbone and shoulders to flush a mesmerizing shade of pink.

Her breathing grew erratic as she covered her face with a hand, lips pressed together in a desperate attempt to stay silent.

The more she avoided looking at him, the more he wondered what expression lay hidden beneath those slender, lotus roots like arms.

He seized her wrist and pinned it above her head.

Caught off guard, their eyes met.

The blush on Juchen’s cheeks deepened, her eyes glistening with moisture. The moment their gazes locked, she flinched away in panic. “W-wait… I need some water.”

Song Mi paused and let her go.

Her legs unsteady, Juchen slowly made her way to the table.

Leaning against the bed curtains, Song Mi listened as she shuffled to the table, lifted the teapot, poured a cup, and took slow, deliberate sips.

That single cup of water seemed to take an eternity.

Tonight, he had been rougher than usual.

Standing by the table, Juchen racked her brain but couldn’t figure out what she’d done to provoke him. She could only assume that after hearing about her past, he now saw her as a wanton woman someone unworthy of gentleness.

Her shoulders slumped slightly.

“Done?” The man’s deep voice came from behind the pale bed curtains.

“Mm…”

Juchen responded, taking one step forward and three steps back before reaching the bed. She exhaled deeply and reached to part the drapes.

The moment her fingertips brushed the fabric, the hand inside seized hers.

Before she could gasp, she was pulled back into the hibiscus canopy.

“Shall we continue?” Song Mi asked, then silenced her with a kiss.

Soon after, her slender, snow-white ankle was grasped and lifted high once more…

——

By the time Juchen’s breathing finally steadied, her body was limp, her mind a complete haze. She nearly collapsed into sleep the moment her head touched the pillow.

Song Mi pulled the covers over her, drew back the bed curtains, and slipped into his shoes, heading for the bath.

Fresh from their entanglement, the veins on his arms still faintly pulsed, his back glistening with a thin sheen of sweat.

He scooped a ladle of water over himself, pinched the bridge of his nose, and sat in the tub for a moment to cool down. When he returned to the bedside, he found Juchen had unconsciously kicked off the blankets.

She lay with her back to him, dark hair spilled across the bed, her long legs stretched over the dark bedding straight, pale, and dotted with the marks of his earlier mischief.

Recalling what they had just done, Song Mi’s gaze darkened. He bent to sit at the edge of the bed, pulling the covers over her once more.

Outside, the moonlight was hazy.

Song Mi tucked away a stray lock of hair that had fallen across her cheek, gazing at the lingering blush on her face as he momentarily lost himself in thought.

Was this the girl who had haunted his memories in his past life?

While part of him found it absurd, another part couldn’t help but recall her as a child.

Everyone assumed he had no impression of her, but the truth was he had remembered her from their very first meeting.

Lu Er had not been wrong her face was truly unforgettable.

During those countless intimate nights they had shared, he had often tried to recall the brief, sparse memories of their childhood encounters.

That evening at dusk, he had just arrived at the Junzhu’s residence when she mistook him for Yuan Zheng.

When they met again in the main hall, perhaps out of embarrassment, she stood beside the Junzhu like a quiet little shadow, clearly not wanting to draw his attention.

But this little shadow was far too striking he had noticed her at a single glance.

Later, whenever he sat fishing in the courtyard, he would often catch glimpses of her figure leaning against the waterside pavilion’s windowsill, just the edge of her sleeve visible.

He had encountered countless girls who hid nearby to steal glances at him, but that time was different he deliberately walked toward her after reeling in his line.

Sensing his approach, she immediately hid the exposed sleeve and retreated inside the window.

When his footsteps didn’t follow, she cautiously peeked out, turning her head to look outside. Seeing no one, she sighed in relief only to turn and find herself staring directly into his eyes.

He still remembered her expression filled with shock, a touch of fear, and the faintest hint of bashfulness.

Her hands clutched tightly at the book she held.

It turned out she had simply been reading in the pavilion, and it was his sudden appearance that had disturbed her peace.

His intentional teasing brought them abruptly close, startling her while giving him an unexpected clear view her eyes were limpid, her features soft and delicate, her complexion flawless like unblemished jade.

As he gazed at her picturesque beauty, a ridiculous thought had crossed his mind even the legendary beauties Xi Shi and Diaochan couldn’t have surpassed this.

Recalling this, Song Mi looked down at the girl on the bed again. Her features had grown even more exquisite, her figure utterly captivating she would blossomed into the kind of peerless beauty that would captivate any man.

While Song Mi trusted his own judgment, he still couldn’t believe he’d become so obsessed with someone that he couldn’t tear his eyes away even from her retreating figure.

Was it really that intense?

For her, he had even been willing to throw away his life?

The next day, Juchen sat in the library, her face flushing as she recalled last night’s events.

Those eyes that had watched her naked form so intently in the darkness, observing her all night long, kept flashing before her eyes.

Deep, dark pools containing hidden desire, utterly mesmerizing.

He had been rather fierce last night.

Rubbing the marks on her wrists, Juchen could not help but remember their first night together.

She had heard a woman’s first time would be somewhat uncomfortable.

His tall frame had loomed over her, completely dominant.

As he took his pleasure and controlled her movements, she had thought things might spiral out of control but the moment he noticed her frown, he had paused for a long while, only proceeding gradually after she had adjusted to his heat.

That had been the epitome of gentleness.

But last night, compared to previous times, he had clearly been much more unrestrained.

Juchen had never anticipated that things would end with her involuntarily crying out. Recalling her own breathless, panting state, her cheeks instantly flushed crimson.

This morning, once again, she had fled in embarrassment.

At this thought, Juchen shook her head vigorously, as if to dispel the chaotic thoughts. She sighed silently, rising from the reading area and making her way to the bookshelves, intent on finding a book to calm her mind.

Standing before the shelves, she carefully browsed, completely unaware of the tall figure that had silently approached from behind.

Juchen stretched on her tiptoes, unable to reach an ancient text on the higher shelf. Just as she considered fetching a ladder, a slender hand reached past her ear and effortlessly retrieved the book for her.

Startled, she turned to meet his gaze and for a moment, neither spoke.

Song Mi loomed before her, his eyes an unfathomable ink black, his brow slightly arched. The casual lift of his hand carried a trace of gentle helpfulness.

Juchen’s heart clenched abruptly. Her fingers, resting on the edge of the bookshelf, dug in slightly, whitening with unconscious guilt.

Song Mi handed her the book.

She thanked him stiffly, just as Lu Feng suddenly appeared at the doorway, peeking in.

Having heard that Song Mi was here, he would come to fetch him for an errand at the Ministry of Justice. Spotting Juchen as well, Lu Feng’s eyes lit up with delight, and he hurried inside to greet them.

“I really drank too much yesterday,” Lu Feng admitted, scratching the back of his head with a hint of apology, likely recalling the previous night’s events.

Though he had not been completely wasted, he had still collapsed into deep sleep upon returning home. What surprised him was that Song Mi had also missed morning court today.

Lu Feng nudged his arm, unable to resist asking, “I was the one blackout drunk yesterday, so how come you arrived even later than me?”

“Slept late,” Song Mi replied without batting an eye. Then, glancing over, he casually added, “Did Miss Li sleep well last night?”

“…”

Didn’t he know exactly how she had slept?

Meanwhile, Lu Feng’s attention had already been captured by the ancient text in her hands. “Huh? The Heart Sutra? Juchen, are you a devout Buddhist? Do you enjoy reading scriptures?”

Juchen gave a dry laugh, unable to explain that she had only picked it to soothe her nerves.

But Lu Feng, feeling a kinship in their interests, began reciting, “When the Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara was practicing the profound Prajna Paramita, he illuminated the Five Skandhas and saw that they were all empty, and crossed beyond all suffering and distress… Form is emptiness, emptiness is form…”
Juchen’s cheeks burned at his theatrical recitation of “Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.”

She lowered her head, not daring to glance at Song Mi’s expression beside her.

Lu Feng, with his uncanny knack for touching on sore spots, pressed further, “Juchen, what’s your interpretation of ‘Form is emptiness, emptiness is form’?”

Juchen: “…”

Lu Feng, oh Lu Feng… Did I somehow wrong you in a past life?

Song Mi curled his lips at Lu Feng and asked earnestly, “You spend every night drunk in the pleasure quarters. Do you read these to prolong your life?”

Juchen blinked, not quite grasping his meaning. But his interruption worked Lu Feng, now deep in thought, spared her further torment.

Lu Feng took quite a while to finally understand the mocking smile at the corner of Song Mi’s lips. He was essentially asking if Lu Feng feared dying from “horseback windstroke,” which was why he kept chanting “form is emptiness, emptiness is form” every day!

And he had asked so earnestly, as if out of genuine concern.

Gnashing his teeth, Lu Feng loudly declared he would never help him again, only to be instantly softened by Song Mi’s sincere “I was wrong,” making it impossible to stay angry.

Lu Feng waved his hand and turned his gaze back to Juchen, wanting to speak with her again, when hurried footsteps suddenly echoed from the entrance.

Lu Yun rushed into the library, her eyes scanning the room before locking onto Juchen. She immediately threw herself at Juchen’s feet before the latter could even react.

Lu Yun’s tears fell freely. “I’m sorry, Juchen. You traveled all this way yesterday to meet me, and I deceived you.”

Well, it wasn’t exactly a long journey.

Juchen’s first instinct was to help her up, but Lu Yun, afraid she would not be forgiven, clung to her leg. “It’s my fault! My intentions were impure I forced you into an uncomfortable situation for my own ends. I have betrayed the Lu family’s ancestral teachings! I’ve wronged Father, Mother, Grandfather, and all our ancestors!”

She pulled up her sleeve to show Juchen the marks of her family’s punishment, whimpering like a wounded animal. “I’ve already been disciplined at home.”

The Lu family was vast, with many members and complex affairs. As a prominent noble house with a sterling reputation, they were naturally strict with their younger generation, their family rules famously numerous so much so that they covered the ancestral hall walls, numbering in the thousands.

One such rule was: “Do not break promises. Violators shall receive twenty strikes of the ruler.”

“I didn’t mean to deceive you I just wanted to facilitate a good match,” Lu Yun apologized sincerely. “I came to apologize right after my punishment yesterday, but your family said you’d left for the library overnight, so I didn’t dare disturb you. Did I interrupt your reading?”

“…Not really.”

After all, she had not been reading.

A gentle smile touched Juchen’s lips as she replied warmly, “I’d never been to Drum Tower before and wanted to see the most famous tavern in the Eastern Capital. Besides, I got to enjoy an expensive meal all in all, it wasn’t a loss.”

Juchen truly wasn’t that angry.

It wasn’t that she enjoyed being deceived.

But when the whole world had turned against her, Lu Yun had once stood firmly by her side, defying her family’s opposition.

Juchen always repaid kindness with extra tolerance.

“Only Juchen would be this forgiving,” Lu Feng couldn’t help but scold Lu Yun. “You can’t trick people like this!”

Lu Yun, who had just been helped up by Juchen, had been weeping pitifully, but at Lu Feng’s sarcastic remark, she flared up instantly. Sniffling, she snapped, “I was already lectured yesterday! Must you add to it?”

She turned her fury on Lu Feng for tattling.

“I’d already planned how to apologize to Juchen afterward! Once she joins our family and reins you in, I’d treat her twice as well! But you, heartless wretch, did you really have to report me to Grandfather and get me punished?”

Song Mi, who had been observing quietly, only frowned slightly at the words “joins our family” and “reins you in.”

“I didn’t!” Lu Feng raised his voice.

Lu Yun, her face streaked with tears, retorted, “I was thinking of you, and you betrayed me like this!”

“Come on, use your brain! I was dead drunk yesterday when would I have had time to snitch?”

“Who knows if you were drunk and went spouting nonsense to the old man, you damned drunkard!”

“You…” Lu Feng was utterly speechless. “I really didn’t.”

“Still denying it? If not you, then who?”

Lu Feng scratched his head and couldn’t help but glance at Song Mi standing nearby.

Only four people knew about what happened yesterday.

Juchen had never even stepped foot in his house and didn’t know his grandfather, so it couldn’t have been her.

The Lu family patriarch had devoted himself to Taoism in recent years. Song Mi, having grown up in the Pengshan Lingxi Temple, had absorbed its essence, exuding an air of carefree detachment. The two had hit it off immediately, becoming unlikely friends.

In fact, Song Mi could strike up a conversation with the old man even better than his own grandson.

But given his temperament, there was no reason for him to meddle in such trivial matters.

Lu Yun snorted coldly at him, then took Juchen’s hand and brought up their New Year’s trip to Mount Li again. “When you go, remember to look for me. I know the place well I’ll make sure you have a great time.”

Juchen froze, answering truthfully, “I’m not planning to go to Mount Li.”

Lu Yun’s delicate brows furrowed. “But I heard your younger sister say at the palace banquet yesterday that your family would be going.” She gripped Juchen’s arm lightly, shaking it with a hint of caution. “Are you still unwilling to forgive me? Is that why you don’t want to see me there?”

Juchen quickly shook her head but remained silent.

Song Mi stood quietly nearby when a sudden memory flashed before his eyes a recollection from their past life, when she had once mentioned she had never been to Mount Li.

“Is it fun? I’ve never been.”

At the time, they had been working late in the imperial study, reviewing documents. During a short break, she had said it.

“You must be joking, Lord Li. Doesn’t the court organize trips for female officials every year? You even approved the policy yourself.”

She had stared at the report for a long moment before replying with a faint, bitter smile, “I never had the time.”

Today, Lu Yun had been summoned to the palace, and before long, the imperial attendant arrived to fetch her, forcing her to leave.

After Lu Yun departed, Lu Feng turned to Juchen with a smile, eager to chat a little longer.

But Song Mi grabbed his arm and pulled him away without hesitation.

As the two walked toward the Ministry of Justice, Lu Feng glanced at Song Mi and couldn’t help but grin. When Song Mi gave him a questioning look, Lu Feng clasped his hands in mock gratitude, thanking him for escorting Li Juchen home the night before.

Song Mi replied flatly, “It wasn’t for you.”

Lu Feng chuckled, thinking he was just being modest. “I know you’ve always done good deeds without taking credit. I’ll remember this favor.”

Then, Lu Feng began rambling about his impressions of Li Juchen since their reunion. “Don’t you think she’s great? Aside from her looks, her personality is really good too very magnanimous. I think we would actually make a good match. And don’t you think it’s fate? We met yesterday, and here we are again today. She even reads scriptures shared interests, you know?”

He turned to Song Mi and asked, “Hey, do you think there’s a chance for us?”

Song Mi answered without hesitation, “No.”

Lu Feng froze mid step.

Maybe it was just his imagination, but for a split second, he thought he saw Song Mi glare at him when he turned around.