Math Teacher, Please Get Lost (GL) - Chapter 18

This girl… was truly remarkable—genuine clear eyebrows, bright eyes, red lips, white teeth. When she smiled… anyone who saw her felt refreshed, as if bathed in the gentle warmth of spring.

Lan Xi kept thinking this to herself, her feet unconsciously moving toward the street, stopping under the swaying red lanterns. Her gaze seemed to come with its own measuring scale, able to extend and rotate like a DSLR lens, trying to find the perfect angle on the delicate young girl, considering how to capture the scene in the most beautiful way.

Han Jiangxue paused her work and looked up at her, a bit confused, her eyes sparkling like stars on a coastline. She handed over a plastic cup. “Sister, want some oden?”

“Huh?” Lan Xi murmured, looking at the small cart with a pot full of fish balls and tofu soaking in broth, thoughtful. “What’s your name?”

Han Jiangxue tilted her head, blinking her eyes. “My surname is Han, and my name is Jiangxue.”

Lan Xi smiled lightly. “The lonely old fisherman on a boat, fishing alone in the cold river snow.”

“It’s not ‘cold’—it’s ‘Han,’ as in Korea,” Han Jiangxue quickly corrected.

“I know,” Lan Xi nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear, thinking this child was quite interesting. “Why aren’t you in school, selling snacks here?”

Han Jiangxue pursed her lips, seeming a little upset. “Sister, are you going to buy something? If not, I still have business to do… could you move a bit and not block the way…”

The subtle changes in her expression did not escape Lan Xi’s sharp eyes. Lowering her gaze slightly, she formed an impression of the girl’s situation. After thinking for a moment, she took a business card from her bag and handed it over. “My name is Lan Xi. I’m a writer and editor for Shuxiang Pinming. Street food culture outside Yingcai school is quite unique. I happen to be doing a literary feature in Yingcai, and I’d also like to write a piece on food. If possible, I hope you can assist with the interview.”

“Hmm…” Han Jiangxue took the card, half in doubt, looking at the front carefully, twice. After a moment of hesitation, she asked, “You said you’re doing literary interviews in Yingcai… are you interviewing the Chinese teachers?”

Lan Xi smiled warmly. “Yes.”

Han Jiangxue’s eyes lit up, leaning forward. “Then… then is Teacher Yao Shuhan there?”

Lan Xi blinked, a bit surprised. This child knows Yao Shuhan? She nodded. “Yes, next time I come, I’ll prepare to talk with her.”

“Hmm, Teacher Yao is really nice, and her articles are great.”

Lan Xi couldn’t help being curious. “Looks like you really like her?”

Han Jiangxue smiled. “Many people like Teacher Yao. If you interact with her, you’ll like her too.”

“I look forward to that interview. Well then, see you next time.” Lan Xi waved and turned, gradually disappearing into the crowd.

Han Jiangxue watched her go, then looked at the business card in her hand. Lan Xi, such an elegant name.

“Okay, calculate the total.” The student across handed over a plastic cup full of fish balls.

“All right.” Han Jiangxue tucked the card into her pocket and began counting. “One, three fifty, six fifty… that’s six fifty in total…”

Evening lights lit up, smoke rose from every household, warm light spilling from windows, casting long shadows along the garden paths for the occasional passerby.

Teacher’s apartment, Building C, an ordinary household.

Shu Yan leaned against the door to put on her boots, her rolling suitcase stuffed to the brim. Because of uneven weight distribution, it toppled forward with a thud. Yao Shuhan bent down, picked up the suitcase, and placed it against the wall.

She frowned at Shu Yan. “Why is it that I never see you on weekends? Are you at the Youth Palace teaching classes?”

Shu Yan paused while zipping her boots. “Ah… um…”

Yao Shuhan crossed her hands and sighed. “The school strictly forbids teachers from tutoring outside. Have you thought about what would happen if the administration found out?”

“It’s fine. Don’t overthink it. I’m not the only one tutoring outside.”

Yao Shuhan stepped forward, wanting to grab her by the collar. Are you really that short on money? Risking so much for tutoring, what if you got caught? How can Shu Yan be so irresponsible with herself? And she hid it from me, telling nothing…

“Phew…” Yao Shuhan exhaled and said, “Shu Yan, next time you tutor, do it in the apartment. Teach students you know. Don’t go out; it’s less risky.”

Shu Yan looked up, her gaze slightly heavy, and bent down to put on the other boot. “Okay.”

Yao Shuhan took the scarf from the coat rack, wrapped it around her neck, and pulled Shu Yan’s suitcase. “I’ll take you to the train station.”

“You don’t need to. It’s dark and unsafe.” Shu Yan went out the door, blocking it with one arm. “I’ll just take the subway a few stops.”

“I…” Yao Shuhan let go of her arm, wanting to say something.

“Shuhan,” Shu Yan lifted her arms and hugged her, “Happy New Year.”

Yao Shuhan stiffened, unable to react before Shu Yan let go and went downstairs with the suitcase. “I’m leaving, don’t worry. See you next year~”

“Next year… see you…” Yao Shuhan waved blankly. Suddenly, a white blur dashed out of the door, about to run downstairs. Yao Shuhan quickly scooped it up. “Paocai, don’t run off.”

“Meow~” Paocai sprawled in Yao Shuhan’s arms, waving its little paws, eyes fixed downstairs in the dark hallway.

Oh, Yao Shuhan understood. Paocai missed Shu Yan. She patted its head, scolding playfully, “Untrainable Paocai! Cat arms keep twisting out!” She twisted its front paws. “Do you have arms, huh? You don’t! Only claws, yet you dare to wriggle out?”

Yao Shuhan stood at the door for a while, holding Paocai, then entered the apartment.

Shu Yan had already packed her luggage. After sending out admission notifications in the morning, she could have gone home. Her house was just a short bus ride away, but she didn’t hurry. She stayed to help Shu Yan pack until night, planning to send her off, but didn’t manage to.

Wait… why did Shu Yan say not to send her off, and she didn’t pursue?

Yao Shuhan put Paocai down and walked a couple of steps toward the door. Then she thought, just now she was dawdling at the door. Even if she chased, she wouldn’t catch her…

“Ah—” Yao Shuhan flopped onto the sofa in frustration. She felt like her IQ had plummeted.

After a deep breath, she lay flat, staring at the ceiling.

Going home for New Year? Actually, that home… it’s the same whether she went or not.

Home… her home.

She once had a strict but caring father, a loving and doting mother. If that incident hadn’t happened, her parents would still love her. Her home would still be warm and whole…

Sigh… Yao Shuhan sighed long, closing her eyes, sinking into painful, lingering memories…

Slap!

A hard slap landed on Yao Shuhan’s face. The frail girl covered the burning red mark and stepped back two steps, teeth gritted in pain, her back straight, eyes showing stubborn defiance, willing to die rather than submit.

“Yao Shuhan, have you no shame? Tell me, what kind of filthy things have you been looking at?”

A book hit her head. She touched her forehead, lowered her eyes, and quietly picked up Crocodile Notes that had fallen to the floor, then looked up silently at her enraged father.

Her father rolled up his sleeves, veins bulging, pointing at her face. “Tell me, what are you thinking about in that head of yours!” He yanked open her desk drawer with force. The rail slipped out, hitting the floor. He picked up a notebook and tore it into pieces in two or three swipes. “A full notebook, obscene beyond belief. Women with women! How old are you? How can you think of these things!”

Looking at the shredded paper on the floor, Yao Shuhan’s hardened expression faltered slightly. Her eyes reddened; she bit her lower lip, saying nothing.

Her father, furious at her defiance, grabbed her phone and smashed it on the ground. “How dare you watch these lesbian porn videos! You… you’re worse than an animal, perverted, upside-down, insane, unworthy of the Yao family bl00d!”

Yao Shuhan lowered her head silently, long hair falling over her shoulders, body trembling. Her eyes stung painfully. She tried to squeeze out tears, but nothing came.

In the silent nights, she had cried alone countless times.

At first, she could cry all night long, endlessly.

She cried, asking, “Shu Yan, what’s wrong with me? Not pretty enough? Bad at math? Why can’t you like me?”

Later, she could only cry half the night, shedding half the night’s tears, staring blankly out the window. She began to understand: Shu Yan didn’t like her, not because she was ugly, not because of math, but because she wasn’t a man.

Because she was a woman, Shu Yan didn’t like her.

Later, she stopped crying at night. She wanted to, but couldn’t. She spent nights staring blankly out the window. One day, she realized: even if she were a man, Shu Yan might still not like her.

But if she were a man, she could buy Shu Yan roses, make her chocolates, openly pursue her.

If she were a man, Shu Yan couldn’t call her a lesbian to her face. Even if Shu Yan said no, she could still pursue her. Because a man chasing a woman… is natural.

A man liking a woman… is just.

A woman liking a woman… is condemned.

Yao Shuhan curled her lips in contempt, her red lips almost bleeding.

Her father kicked the desk. Clang! “You wretch! Are you mute?”

“Mom!” Her mother rushed over, holding back her husband, helplessly looking at her daughter standing in the corner, silent, shaking her head, heart full of pain and disappointment. “Shuhan, you were fine. How… how did you end up liking women? You’ve broken your father and mother’s hearts.”

“Isn’t there a classmate working at a mental health center? Call them now. Take this animal there and treat her properly!” Her father twisted his thick brows and stormed out, lighting a cigarette, pacing in the living room.

“Shuhan,” her mother held her daughter’s shoulders, nasal voice coaxing, “Be good. Tomorrow we’ll see the doctor. Once treated, apologize properly to Dad. A few months until the college entrance exam; we’ll be fine, okay?”

Yao Shuhan slightly relaxed her mouth, hugging her books. “I’m not sick…”

Her father threw an ashtray. “One more word, you wretch!”

Yao Shuhan looked at the stranger her father had become, thinking of the tall man who once carried her, softly saying, “Don’t be afraid, I’ll protect you.” Suddenly, she felt disoriented.

Even a promise from loved ones could be so fragile, so easily broken.

Everything turned pale.

Indescribably pale.

Yao Shuhan curled her lips, lowered her eyelids, and slowly spoke, “Fine. I’ll get treated.”

Her mother hugged her, tears flowing. “Good girl, Shuhan.”

Yao Shuhan leaned on her mother, tilting her head, eyes closed in sorrow.

The next morning, Yao Shuhan was sent to a mental health center for “lesbian correction therapy.”

While forced to watch lesbian porn in the isolation room and taking emetics, her heart ached bitterly. Suddenly, she remembered a myth: every sixty-seven million years, all matter in the world renews itself.

She forced herself to endure the nausea, a strange thought forming in her heart: Shu Yan, if everything in the world could start over, could I have a chance to like you again?

A woman chasing a man, a thin veil apart.

A man chasing a woman, a mountain apart.

Shu Yan, do you know? To pursue you, I would wait sixty-seven million years, until heaven and earth and all matter are renewed, for a chance to start again.