Math Teacher, Please Get Lost (GL) - Chapter 20

Damn—

Shu Yan’s mind exploded.

Her body reacted faster than her brain. Shu Yan’s hand flew up, blocking between her face and Yao Shuhan’s mouth. The next moment, the palm of her hand pressed against two soft, warm lips. Yao Shuhan, with her mouth covered, felt uncomfortable and let out a lazy hum, reaching up to pull Shu Yan’s hand away.

Just as her fingers caught Shu Yan’s hand, Yao Shuhan’s eyes flew wide open. Her mouth dropped so wide you could stuff in a little egg, and she shouted, “Y-you, Shu Yan?!”

Shu Yan was startled by her sudden scream. Her supporting hand on the edge of the bed slipped, and she lost her balance, toppling down—smacking right into Yao Shuhan, who had just propped herself up to get out of bed. Their foreheads collided with a loud bang bang.

“Ah—it hurts! Why’d you suddenly fall on me?!”

Shu Yan blinked back the tears stinging her eyes. “Why’d you suddenly yell so loud? You scared me into falling!”

A cold draft slipped into Yao Shuhan’s pajama collar. She shivered, hugging the quilt around herself, sniffling. “Well, that’s because you popped up out of nowhere! If you woke up and saw a giant face right above your head, wouldn’t you freak out?! And didn’t you say you’d only arrive tonight? You couldn’t even tell me first?”

Shu Yan rubbed her reddened forehead and looked at Yao Shuhan, who was wrapped in her quilt, sleeping in her bed, boldly hogging her giant Pikachu pillow. She couldn’t help laughing. “Oh? So it’s fine for you to skip going home for the New Year, but not fine for me to come back to school early? And you think I should warn you ahead of time? What, so you can scramble out of my bed and cover up all your ‘when the cat’s away, the mouse plays king of the hill’ behavior?”

Yao Shuhan’s face flushed red. Hugging the quilt tighter, she scooted forward and lifted her chin at Shu Yan. “Who are you calling a cat? Who’s the mouse?”

Shu Yan burst out laughing and tugged at the quilt she was clutching to her chest. “You dare sleep in my bed but don’t dare admit you’re the mouse?”

Yao Shuhan’s eyes went wide. “…”

Shu Yan loved seeing her look all flustered and wronged. She leaned down closer, crowding her until she tilted backward. “Teacher Yao, just now… what exactly were you about to do?”

Yao Shuhan: !!!

She whipped her head away, flailing her hands to push her back. “I-I-I wasn’t about to do anything! Move, I’m getting up…”

Shu Yan curled her lips into a grin. “Mm… maybe you forgot what you were about to do. Here, I’ll demonstrate—see if it jogs your memory.”

As soon as she finished, Shu Yan suddenly wrapped her arms around Yao Shuhan’s thin shoulders, leaning down, aiming for her cheek.

That finally jolted Yao Shuhan completely awake. Like a cat with its tail stepped on, she jumped up, shoving Shu Yan away. Her face darkened as she snapped, “Wipe that lipstick off your mouth!”

“Huh?” Shu Yan blinked, instinctively touching her lips and licking them. “How do you know I put on lip balm?”

Yao Shuhan hopped out of bed and shot her a withering look. “Your lips are cracked all around, peeling white, but somehow they’re shiny and oily—that’s lip balm, what else could it be? And it reeks, cheap and disgusting.”

“No way, I like it! Sweet strawberry flavor~” Shu Yan dug in her puffy down-jacket bag and pulled out a tube, orange on both ends with green in the middle. She read the little words on it out loud: “Pipidog Fruity Baby Lip Balm, pipidog, caring for babies every day~”

“Achoo—!” Yao Shuhan couldn’t stand this fool another second. She grabbed her coat off the chair, threw it over her shoulders, and stomped back to her bedroom to change clothes.

“Hey, Teacher Yao,” Shu Yan called after her, pointing at the bed that now looked like a chicken’s nest. “What about this mess?”

Yao Shuhan’s ears turned red. “Leave it. I’ll change your sheets later.”

As she tried to shut the door to change, Shu Yan tried to squeeze in too, but Yao Shuhan blocked her. “What are you doing?”

Clutching the doorframe, Shu Yan snickered. “I’m saying you don’t need to change them. I’ll just sleep in that bed as it is.” She cupped her hand around her mouth like a megaphone. “It even has Teacher Yao’s scent~”

Bang!

Yao Shuhan slammed the door hard. As she changed clothes inside, she could hear Shu Yan whining outside: “Teacher Yao! Can’t you close the door more gently? You smashed my nose! Ow ow, it hurts—”

Without thinking, Yao Shuhan shouted back, “Serves you right!”

“Teacher Yao, we’re roommates, we’re supposed to get along in harmony. You can’t treat me like this! You’re nice to everyone else, why are you always so mean to me? It’s not fair! I protest!”

The door flew open. Yao Shuhan glared up at her. “Protest denied!”

Shu Yan dropped her gaze, and when her eyes fell into Yao Shuhan’s, her heart gave a sudden thump. She quickly looked away—and noticed that the zipper at Yao Shuhan’s waist wasn’t pulled up all the way, flashing a glimpse of spring scenery. Shu Yan chuckled under her breath, rubbed her nose, and said softly, “Teacher Yao, your waist…”

“Hm?” Yao Shuhan looked down, saw it, blushed scarlet, and yanked the zipper up fast.

Shu Yan coughed, turning her head, face not quite natural. “Mm, white.”

“Shu Yan! Don’t you have any shame?!”

Shu Yan hopped back a couple of steps. “What’s there to be embarrassed about? I already saw everything last time you were in the shower.”

Furious, Yao Shuhan raised her hand to smack her. Shu Yan dodged her moves easily, caught her wrist, and snickered. “We’re going to be living together for years. Don’t be so shy. Be good.”

Yao Shuhan snapped her head up. “Good, my ass!”

Shu Yan released her hand and scratched her head. “Don’t you think? Living like this all the time, it feels kind of like we’re an old married couple.”

Yao Shuhan froze, then huffed and stalked into the kitchen. “Who wants to be an old married couple with you?”

“I think it’s nice.” Shu Yan grinned stupidly, then flopped onto the sofa, tilting her head back against the cushion. “Caught the early bus back this morning. I’m exhausted. But wow, you can really sleep—it’s so late and you’re still in bed. I thought you’d gone home or gone out.”

“Can you shut your mouth?” Yao Shuhan came back carrying a bowl of hot water and a jar of honey. She grabbed Shu Yan’s toothbrush from the bathroom and also fetched some cotton swabs and a bottle of olive oil, setting them on the coffee table.

Shu Yan watched her pile up the items, amused. “What are you doing?”

Sitting beside her, Yao Shuhan pinched her chin and patted her cheek, lips curling mischievously. “Helping you shut that blazing red mouth of yours.”

“Huh? What are you gonna do!” Shu Yan thought her smile looked dangerous and shrank back, struggling to escape.

Yao Shuhan pinched her chin harder and growled, “Don’t move. Move again and I’ll make you vanish from this world without a trace!”

“Mm!” Faced with Yao Shuhan’s tyrannical aura, Shu Yan obediently shut her mouth. The lamb to the butcher’s knife, utterly helpless—boo hoo.

Yao Shuhan tapped her chin with a finger and smirked. “Good girl. Stay like that.”

Shu Yan froze stiff, eyes darting nervously as Yao Shuhan gently scraped off the dead skin from her lips with the damp toothbrush, then used a cotton swab to spread honey over them. After letting it sit a while, she rinsed it off with water and finally applied olive oil.

Handing the bottle of olive oil to Shu Yan, Yao Shuhan said, “Here. Keep it. Use this from now on—it works better for lips.”

Shu Yan had been staring blankly at her hands the whole time, feeling the gentle strokes on her lips—tingling, a little numb. She thought, I wonder if Yao Shuhan’s lips would feel like this too?

“My pipidog…” Shu Yan made a pitiful face, hugging Yao Shuhan’s arm and shaking it. From the corner of her eye she sneaked glances at Yao Shuhan’s lips—rosy, dewy, so soft-looking. Mm, biting them must taste sweet…

“No one said you can’t keep using it. Use whatever you want. You’re so annoying.” Yao Shuhan pried her hand off and shooed her away, then went to wash her face, drawing her brows and getting ready to head out.

Seeing she was about to leave, Shu Yan rushed after her. “Teacher Yao, where are you going? You can’t leave me alone!”

Yao Shuhan frowned impatiently. “I haven’t even had breakfast yet!”

Shu Yan frowned too. “Teacher Yao, it’s already past eleven.”

Uh…

Yao Shuhan straightened her expression. “Then I’m going to eat lunch.”

“Then I’ll go with you.” Shu Yan trotted over, changing shoes too.

“Weren’t you just saying you were exhausted? Now you’ve got the energy to go out?”

Shu Yan lifted her chin proudly. “Yep. Because I’m going with you.”

“You—” Yao Shuhan pointed at her nose, fuming, words failing.

Shu Yan caught her finger like a handshake, shaking it, beaming. “Don’t thank me. Being good to you is something I should do. I owe you.”

“I owe you!” Yao Shuhan stomped her foot, grabbed her bag, and stormed out. Shu Yan rubbed her nose with a chuckle and hurried after her.

At noon, the two of them ate small dishes downstairs. Shu Yan pulled a little notebook out of her puffy jacket, flipped through it, and called over the waiter. She compared with the menu seriously: “One plate of salt-fried pork, one plate of bitter melon with egg, and a beef soup with baby bok choy.”

Yao Shuhan blinked. Shu Yan had ordered all her favorites.

Shu Yan closed the notebook and smiled slightly at her. “Don’t thank me. Being good to you is what I should do.” She added a wink.

Yao Shuhan grabbed three chopsticks and stabbed them into Shu Yan’s bowl. “Eat your food!”

After the meal, Yao Shuhan headed to a cake shop in the east of the city. It was far, and she told Shu Yan to go back and rest—after all, she’d gotten up so early to travel. But Shu Yan refused, insisting that her free time was short, that she had to teach again tomorrow, so she wanted to spend today with Yao Shuhan. With no choice, Yao Shuhan brought her along. Naturally, the secret about buying chocolate got exposed.

What she bought wasn’t ready-made chocolates, but blocks of chocolate for melting and making DIY treats.

Back in high school, Yao Shuhan had noticed Shu Yan often drank black coffee in the mornings, preferring bitter flavors. She’d arranged in advance with this cake shop to get imported Belgian dark chocolate—planning to make her a Valentine’s Day gift on the 13th.

The shop was filled with the rich scent of handmade ice cream and milk. The display case was lined with all kinds of donuts.

Shu Yan stood in front of the donut counter, eyeing the dark chocolate blocks in Yao Shuhan’s hands, pouting unhappily. “Teacher Yao, who are you making chocolate for?”

The young clerk picking out tiger-skin rolls for another customer overheard, turned with a smile, and said, “Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day. Who do you think a girl makes chocolate for at a time like this?”

Shu Yan lowered her eyes, murmuring a long “oh,” staring at her toes. Her voice turned sour. “So Teacher Yao has someone she likes already. Living together, and you never told me. And here I was liking you so much, but you’ve gone and liked someone else…”

Yao Shuhan couldn’t hold it in anymore. She turned and scolded sharply, “Shu Yan, do you even hear the nonsense coming out of your mouth?!”

Shu Yan lifted her head, eyes glistening. “Every word I said is true,” she said earnestly, eyes shining with sincerity. “Really!”

Yao Shuhan shut her eyes, sighed, and pointed at a donut in the display case smeared thick with chocolate. “Miss, could you wrap that one up for me?” Then she pointed at Shu Yan. “For her.”