Math Teacher, Please Get Lost (GL) - Chapter 30

In the editorial office of Shuxiang Pinming, white papers flew around like snowflakes, the phone rang incessantly, and every desk was piled high with all sorts of messy things. People came and went, sticky notes stuck on their backs, and it was hard to even get up to fetch a glass of water.

Yet no matter how hectic things got, there were always a few people who remained leisurely.

Chief Editor Niu leaned back in his swivel chair with a sour expression, pushing up his glasses with the tip of his fountain pen.
“Lanxi, the assignment to Pingyao I gave you last week has already gone down. You said you wanted to stay at Yingcai to do that exclusive interview, but it’s been a week now. The Pingyao Ancient City Traditional Cultural Festival is happening these next two days. If you delay any longer, you’ll be late.”

Lanxi was silent for a while, thinking briefly, then began gathering the documents from her desk one by one.
“I understand.”

The chief editor coughed, sipped his tea, and said,
“Better start preparing. The ticket’s already booked. Tomorrow morning, ten o’clock.”

Lanxi’s hand trembled slightly as she held the papers.
“Tomorrow morning already?”

“You’ve already wasted several days,” Chief Editor Niu said. “There are other assignments lined up afterward. The festival only happens once a year. Can you wait for it? Will it wait for you?”

Lanxi nodded.
“I understand.”

At the door, she turned back.
“Chief Editor, could you please check the time for me? What time is it now?”

He lifted his head from the file.
“Five seventeen. We’ve been off work for a while already, but there’s still chaos outside. You can go ahead and leave early. Tomorrow morning you’ll go with Xiao Cheng and the others. Contact them when you get back.”

Lanxi lowered her gaze, closed the door, and left the media building. She took the subway straight to Yingcai Middle School.

The red lanterns along the street were still just as eye-catching.

Lanxi chuckled softly as she walked up. Han Jiangxue was reading a book intently. Lanxi reached into the little pot and pulled out a skewer of fish balls. Han Jiangxue instinctively looked up.
“Buying oden?”

Lanxi smiled, biting off one fish ball and holding it in her mouth.
“Are you treating me?”

Han Jiangxue beamed sweetly.
“Lanxi-jie! Fine, I’ll treat you. But just this one skewer, okay?”

Lanxi handed her a five-yuan bill.
“Just kidding. How could I take advantage of a little girl?” She casually took the book Han Jiangxue was holding, flipped through two pages.
“Boule de Suif. How is it?”

Han Jiangxue fiddled with her hair.
“I don’t read much foreign literature, so some parts are hard to understand.”

Lanxi made a soft “oh.”
“Normal. Cultural differences, after all.”

“Mm.”

Lanxi asked,
“Do you borrow all your books from Teacher Yao?”

Han Jiangxue nodded.
“Yes.”

“You really like literature, don’t you?”

Han Jiangxue put the book away, her expression full of longing.
“I do like it. But I never really had the conditions to form a bond with books.”

Lanxi said,
“Teacher Yao is very busy. You might be inconveniencing her if you always ask. I work at a magazine, so I’m always dealing with words. I write travel essays. Compared to Teacher Yao, I’m more free. If you don’t mind, you can come to me with your questions, and you can borrow whatever books you want.”

Han Jiangxue had always felt a little guilty about troubling Yao Shuhan. Now that Lanxi offered to lend her books, she was thrilled, but also felt it was a bit much to accept and wanted to decline politely.

But Lanxi added,
“Jiangxue, actually the reason I came today is because I have something I want to discuss with you.”

Han Jiangxue was surprised. She was just a little street vendor selling snacks. What business could someone like Lanxi possibly want to discuss with her?

“Lanxi-jie, whatever you want to say, just say it. As long as it’s something I can do, I’ll agree.”

Lanxi pressed her lips together.
“My cousin teaches at the Normal University in City C. The night school there is recruiting now, and it accepts adult students. If you pass the exams, you can earn a university diploma. If you want, I can help you get in.”

Han Jiangxue was shocked and didn’t know how to respond.
“This…”

Lanxi hurriedly said,
“In fact, very soon our magazine will have a changeover. They’re going to recruit a batch of interns, and each of us has to mentor one. Even though we haven’t known each other for long, I think you’re a girl with real talent. Being around you inspires me. You’re suited for literature—and you love it, don’t you? If you can get that diploma through correspondence, I’ll talk to the chief editor about bringing you in as my mentee. Then you’ll have a stable job at the magazine. Isn’t that better than what you’re doing now?”

A proper, stable job was a dream that to Han Jiangxue felt both tempting and impossibly distant. And now Lanxi had placed it plainly before her, like a gift fallen from the sky. She felt dizzy, stunned.

After a while, she composed herself and said,
“Lanxi-jie, I really want to try if I have this chance. And I’m very grateful. But my family’s finances aren’t good. I still need to take care of my father, and I can’t afford the tuition…”

Lanxi stepped closer and cupped her face in her hands.
“I can lend it to you. Study well. You can pay me back once you earn money.”

Han Jiangxue stared blankly at her, unable to react.

Lanxi said,
“I’ll also ask someone to look after your father. He’ll be so happy knowing you get to continue your studies. You don’t need to thank me. Just remember that you owe me—and one day, you’ll pay it back.”

Weekends were not just happy times for students, but also for teachers.

On Friday afternoon during the last class, before the bell had even rung, the kids quietly started packing their bags. When the teacher turned to write on the board, they quickly shoved a few books into their bags. When the teacher turned back, they pretended to listen attentively.

Yin Dapeng couldn’t stand the rustling noises and the students’ so-called seamless tricks, which were in fact riddled with holes. He immediately called the class monitor.
“Wu Hong!”

The girl with the high ponytail stood up.
“Here!”

“Go to my office—” Yin Dapeng began, but before he could finish, Wu Hong had already dashed out. Within minutes, she was back with a stack of newspapers, handing them out efficiently.

The students groaned,
“Ahhh, what a hardcore lackey!”

Even Yin Dapeng was surprised.
“Wu Hong, you’re really my little cotton-padded jacket.”

Wu Hong flicked her ponytail and grinned.
“Dapeng-ge, I’m my dad’s cotton-padded jacket. If you want one, have a kid of your own.”

The class burst out,
“That means you have to find a girlfriend first—”

Yin Dapeng’s face turned pitch black as he left the classroom. The moment he walked into the office, he saw Shu Yan sprawled dramatically across Yao Shuhan’s desk, pretending to be dead.

“I want to go, I want to go, I want to go!” Shu Yan whined.

Yao Shuhan poked her with a pen.
“Fine, fine. But get up first, I can’t write!”

Yin Dapeng was baffled why Shu Yan was always running up to the third floor. Whenever she saw Yao Shuhan, she was either whining or goofing off. He didn’t know whether to call them close or not.

“Hey,” Yin Dapeng walked over, “Yao the great talent, could you manage your students? Those little brats won’t stop roasting me. No respect at all!”

Yao Shuhan tugged Shu Yan upright by the arm.
“Perfect timing, Yin-zi. We’re going out for a group dinner.”

Dinner? Even better!

Yin Dapeng tidied up his desk.
“This must be the staff dinner we owed from last semester’s awards, right? Where are we going?”

“Kaikouxiao.”

“Hotpot!” Yin Dapeng clapped his hands. “My favorite!”

Shu Yan jumped up, instinctively wanting to hug Yao Shuhan. Yao glared at her, and she quickly pouted and retracted her arms.
“Red sugar rice cakes are the best.”

Yao Shuhan folded her arms, gave Shu Yan’s red lips a look, and smirked.
“Eat. That way your mouth will be glued shut.”

Zhao Tongtong barged in energetically.
“Hurry, hurry, the bus is here!” Then spotting Shu Yan trailing after Yao Shuhan, she teased,
“Yo, Shuhan, bringing your partner along? This dinner’s only for the third-floor office, you know.”

Yao Shuhan shot her a glare.
“Careful or a lobster will pinch your mouth!”

Zhao Tongtong wasn’t scared.
“Hmph, I’ll just eat the crayfish!”

So they all piled onto the school bus and went to Kaikouxiao for hotpot. Whether it was Yao’s sharp tongue cursing her, or pure coincidence, Zhao Tongtong really did get her lip caught by a shell while eating crayfish. With her swollen sausage lips, she jumped up ready to fight.
“Yao Shuhan! I’ll fight you!”

Shu Yan quickly leapt between them.
“Whoa whoa whoa, no fighting, no fighting!”

Yao Shuhan laughed cheerfully, patting Shu Yan on the back while her other hand sneaked under the table to pinch Shu Yan’s thigh. Shu Yan glanced back at her, smiling with the corners of her lips curled.

The hotpot was way too spicy. Back home, Yao Shuhan still felt like her throat was burning, like she could breathe fire.

She took two packets of herbal tea from the medicine cabinet, brewed them, drank one, and brought the other to Shu Yan.

Shu Yan sniffed it.
“What’s this?”

“Herbal cooling tea. Drink. It clears heat.”

Shu Yan swirled the brown liquid in her cup.
“My chemistry teacher said these teas are seventy percent sugar. You’re basically drinking syrup. Makes you fat.”

“Are you drinking it or not?” Yao asked.

Shu Yan lifted the cup and drained it in one gulp, setting the empty cup on the table.
“Finished.”

Yao leaned in to stroke her cheek.
“That’s better.”

Shu Yan squinted, tilting her face upward.
“Do I get a reward?”

“No.” Yao stood, carrying the cup away.

Shu Yan flopped onto the sofa with disappointment.
“Ahhh—”

Suddenly Yao turned back, darted in, and planted a quick kiss on Shu Yan’s cheek before briskly walking away to wash the cups.
“Just kidding,” she said.

Shu Yan froze, her heart surging, unable to calm down. After a long time, she touched her cheek and giggled foolishly.

As a proper science student, Shu Yan’s analysis was very precise: this herbal tea, being seventy percent sugar, actually didn’t do much at all.

At lunch the next day, Shu Yan kept staring at the red pimple on Yao’s chin. She stammered like she wanted to say something but held back.

Yao finally snapped.
“Spit it out. Don’t dither.”

Shu Yan scratched her head, ran into the living room, grabbed a jujube from the fruit plate, and handed it to her.
“Shuhan, chin pimples mean constipation. Eat this. One down, and soon you’ll fart, then straight to the toilet. Once you poop, you’ll feel so relaxed~”

Yao slammed her chopsticks down, making a sharp “clack” against the bowl.
“Shu Yan, do you see what I’m doing right now?”

Shu Yan lowered her head, grinning.
“You’re… eating…”

For the rest of the meal, Shu Yan obediently observed the rule of “don’t talk while eating.” Every time she tried to open her mouth, Yao immediately stuffed food in, leaving her no chance to speak.

But by evening, Shu Yan couldn’t have spoken even if she wanted to—an ulcer had popped up on her tongue. Drinking water hurt, smiling too wide pulled at the sore.

For someone as talkative as Shu Yan, this was the ultimate fatal blow. With her tongue injured, her speech was doomed!

She stood in front of the bathroom mirror, sticking her tongue out miserably. Yao Shuhan leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, adding fuel to the fire.
“Look, look, how long have you been staring at it? Your tongue’s practically falling out. Do you think you’re one of the Black and White Impermanence?”

Shu Yan whined pitifully, tongue out like a big dog. She ran to Yao, sticking her tongue out further, shaking her head side to side, speaking unclearly and in pain.
“See, see? Ulcer! Ahhh, it hurts so much—”

Yao frowned, annoyed. She grabbed Shu Yan, pried her mouth open, and stuck a finger in.
“Hold still. Let me see.”

She pressed a medicated patch against the little white sore on Shu Yan’s tongue. Suddenly, Shu Yan’s tongue curled up around her finger, soft flesh wrapping it tightly.

“Ah!” Yao jerked back, pulling her hand out like she’d been shocked. Furious, she glared at Shu Yan, grabbed the toilet brush from the corner, and brandished it threateningly.

Shu Yan yelped, covering her head and darting away.
“Ahhh! Don’t hit me! Wuwuwu, Shuhan don’t hit me!!”