Mint Is Pure Love - Chapter 68

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“Then that means… you can be anything. I’ll be right here, waiting with you.”

His eyes opened slowly. It was the same dream he always had, but this time, no tears came.

A sharp ray of midday sun slipped through the gap in the blackout curtains, and a pair of clear, wakeful eyes stared at it. They looked like they had never once slept. His gaze searched the wall for the clock.

What time is it?

Seokyung carefully lifted his upper body and checked the clock on the nightstand.

1:20 p.m.

He told himself it would be fine. He had already sent a message. Even if the club members misunderstood, well… it wouldn’t be entirely a misunderstanding, and it wasn’t exactly something he didn’t want either. So he reasoned, It can’t be helped, can it?

The pile of blankets in his arms squirmed slightly, and his scattered thoughts disappeared beyond the curtains. Wrapped up tight like a cocoon, the way she’d bundled herself all the way up to her head made him worry she might suffocate.

Like unwrapping a gift, he slowly peeled the blanket away, revealing a small face framed by messy hair. He brushed it back with his large hand, and her delicate features appeared in front of him like a present.

“…Ji Yeonseo.”

His voice was soft, like someone checking to make sure it was really her. Just saying her name made his throat tighten, the same way it had on all those days he’d called her name and gotten nothing back.

“Yeonseo.”

He didn’t actually want to wake her, yet at the same time, he hoped she’d open her eyes and look at him.

At his voice, her small body stirred. Her brows knit slightly, maybe from discomfort. The faint crease in her forehead made Seokyung feel a pang of guilt, like it was somehow his fault.

He hadn’t been used to this. His touch had been clumsy, and out of the three condoms, two had torn while he was putting them on.

“You’re too damn big for your own good, Seokyung.”

She’d said it in that small, teasing voice that still managed to make him laugh in the moment, but truthfully, for an instant, his vision had gone dark.

Afraid she might notice how inexperienced he really was. Afraid it might make her run.

If he’d been more skilled, would she have hurt less? If he’d been as smooth as the Cha Seokyung in all those rumors, could he have made her happier?

Bzzz—!

The phone on the nightstand buzzed loudly, and Seokyung quickly reached out to grab the silver device.

Glancing toward the bundle of blankets, he checked to see if she’d woken, then looked at the caller ID.

[Baek Hyeji]

Without a moment’s hesitation, he hit the end call button. A vibration came again, this time a message, probably asking how he was doing, but he didn’t check it. Instead, he powered the phone off entirely and tossed it somewhere onto the floor.

That wasn’t important right now.

Just a breath away, Ji Yeonseo slept, her breathing slow and even.

He smiled faintly, taking in the soft curve of her cheek against the pillow, the pretty tilt of her eyes, her neat brows down to the tip of her nose—etching it into his memory.

“…You should’ve just stayed a little more messed-up at twenty-four, Yeonseo.”

Because she was perfect. And because she was perfect, he couldn’t help but resent her a little.

When he’d seen her in that dress again, he’d thought she was an illusion. That maybe he’d finally gone insane enough to start seeing her everywhere.

“Minseo-ssi, are you okay?”

It wasn’t until he saw the man beside her calling her a name he didn’t know that he realized—oh. This was the real coincidence he’d been waiting for.

Maybe what had thrown him wasn’t that she wasn’t Ji Yeonseo, but that she was Ji Minseo.

“I’ve been busy dating.”
“I was totally out of my mind, you know.”

Those words from her lips had been infuriating.

“Jawoon oppa’s so polite, he treats me like a princess.”
“He’s so crazy about me, I can’t help it.”

The way she’d said it had stung. The way she avoided his eyes, pretending not to see him, had hurt. He hated Ji Yeonseo.

Out of all the countless emotions in the world, he never thought hatred would be one he’d feel toward her and that confused him. Even now…

“So dating someone isn’t hard for you anymore?”
“Yeah, turns out it’s not as hard as I thought.”

He wished she’d never taught him anything. Wished she’d just left him empty. Then maybe, at the end of that hollow time, he wouldn’t be looking at her now with all this tangled-up emotion.

Yeonseo, I still don’t even know how to treat you. Even though I’m the one who’s keeping you here for ridiculous reasons, I know I’m contradicting myself. I just don’t know what weight to put into my steps so you won’t retreat. So I—

“…Mm, Seo… kyung-ah…”

The moment his name left her lips, he swallowed hard, forcing all those messy emotions down, and answered with practiced calm.

“You’re awake?”

Without hesitation, he sat up, grabbed the bottle of water he’d set out earlier, and lifted her into his arms. He held the bottle to her swollen lips and watched her take slow gulps. Seeing her drink made him feel refreshed himself.

And that was Cha Seokyung’s dilemma.

Ji Yeonseo’s words and actions could make him feel resentful, hurt, even angry, but when it came down to it, his actions always betrayed his thoughts. That’s why he found himself fussing over those pale hands carrying a pot and a few leaves of lettuce.

And when he saw those small shoulders quietly avoiding a seat next to another woman for his sake. God, the sting in his chest.

Seokyung-ah, when you come back—

Just that single text, and he’d floored the accelerator all the way through the dawn.

Even if it was just about the body, hearing her say she wanted him had made his heart pound so hard it rattled. That gap between her words and her actions left Seokyung confused. Unable to stay calm. She’d mixed up all his colors, blurred all his lines.

“…What time is it now?”

“It’s past two.”

“What?!”

The body shifting in his arms shot upright like a spring.

“I didn’t tell the club I was leaving! What if they’re looking for me? You should’ve woken me up!”

“I told them you were with me.”

As soon as he said it, the look that spread across her small face made his chest ache again. Why that expression, Yeonseo? What’s so wrong about being with me? We’re not eighteen anymore, so why is it that with me, everything still feels so hard for you? He swallowed the question back down. Because following those faint traces would still lead him to the bruised face of the eighteen-year-old her.

“…You were outside in the early morning because you weren’t feeling well, so I said I took you to the hospital. Told them it was the flu—so just go with that.”

Only then did her pale face show a hint of relief.

“I don’t mind telling people we’re dating. It’ll make it easier for us to be out together anyway. If you’re uncomfortable, I can bring it up naturally.”

Did she know what kind of heart that careful offer came from? He hated her, Ji Yeonseo. And hated himself even more for having no right to hate her. He hated her—and yet, still…

“Seokyung-ah, are you okay?”

The way she asked that made him love her again, so much so that he couldn’t even hate her properly.

Caught somewhere between self-loathing and affection, Seokyung didn’t know what to do with himself. Even at twenty-four, no longer eighteen, he still stood at that same crossroads—unable to fully accept her, unable to fully push her away, watching all his emotions branch and twist into tangled paths because of Ji Yeonseo.

“……”

As always, action came before words, because words could be hidden, but his actions never could. He pulled her tight, blanket and all, and buried his nose against her slender neck. The soft, sweet scent filling his lungs made him feel like he could finally breathe.

“Well, you probably have more experience than me anyway,” she murmured, her voice small, careful—like she hoped it was true.

“…Yeah. I’m fine.”

If that was what it took to keep her from feeling burdened by him, then so be it.

“Does that woman named Yeonseo even know? That all you’re doing is using me? That the only thing you’ve given me is the title of ‘girlfriend’?”

He could have said, ‘We’re no different’, but… maybe not. Which Cha Seokyung would Ji Yeonseo turn farther away from? Which version of him would be the worst in her eyes? Which one would weigh less on her?

But those were just the surface worries. The thing that truly scared the Cha Seokyung of now was—

“This place, and you… they’re too heavy for me to carry.”

She’d probably sunk him deep into the same place where her painful youth was buried.

Could he make her laugh again? Was it even okay for him to wedge himself back into the life she’d been living perfectly fine without him?

“……”

Seokyung pulled the woman in his arms even closer. Amid all the scattered, confusing light, there was still only one thing he’d been sure of from way back then until now.

That all the kindness and affection he had to give, he wanted it to go to Ji Yeonseo. Every last drop, flowing only to her.

Please, let her be able to take it all, he prayed, just like he had one spring day, crying as he wished for exactly that.