Mint Is Pure Love - Chapter 74

In Ji Yeonseo’s large, deep brown eyes, emotions swirled in a storm she could no longer hide her confusion, anger, indignation, and sorrow. All tangled together, they demanded an answer from Cha Seokyung.

But instead of trying to answer the unanswerable, this time, a clearer question came at him.

“Did you… really date Yang Jisoo?”

“…That’s what everyone seems to think.”

“Stop dodging. Tell me properly. Did you or didn’t you?”

What is she saying? Why would she suddenly ask me this? The thought flickered through Yeonseo’s mind as she tried to imagine what answer Seokyung could possibly give.

But the man before her drew in a shallow breath, and then calmly said something else.

“Which is better for you?”

“…What?”

His Adam’s apple shifted against the tight line of his throat.

“Between me, Cha Seokyung, who liked someone else, or me, Cha Seokyung, who just used her. Which one is less awful to you?”

“……”

“Which one… would hurt you less?”

“…What?”

She looked so lost, her thoughts in shambles, and he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Knowing he was the cause made it worse. Pressing down the panic rising in him, Seokyung ran a hand through his hair and reached for Yeonseo. His chest felt tight. Something about this felt dangerous.

“…Yeonseo, let’s just go inside first—”

But her hand slapped his away, cold and firm.

He had thought this wasn’t such a big deal, that if they just cleared up the misunderstanding and talked, it would be fine. Because, this was Ji Yeonseo, who could still feel compassion for others even when she herself was hurt. Maybe she would be disappointed, maybe even upset—Did you really use Jisoo? Did you let her cling and cry like that?—but surely, once he explained, she’d understand.

He believed he could explain everything what he had felt, why he had been so restless and uneasy. Yeonseo would understand.

For the past six years, no matter how much he struggled, it had always been Yeonseo. Even in the moments he tried to forget, tried to move on, it had been her. No one else, man or woman, had ever meant a single thing to him.

If she misunderstood that, if she thought his feelings had wavered even for a moment, if she was upset enough to finally ask, Why did you like another woman?, then he would have spent all night, joyfully, telling her everything.

This time, he would be honest. Without fear that she might take a step back.

“Answer me properly, Cha Seokyung. For that year… did you really like Yang Jisoo?”

Even as she asked, Yeonseo felt the sting of her own question. What answer do you even want, Ji Yeonseo?

No matter what he said, it would hurt. She knew that. And still, she had to ask.

“Did you… love her?”

After a long sigh, his reply came back heavy, firm as a stone.

“No, Yeonseo.”

“……”

“Not once. Not ever. Yeonseo, I—”

At his words, tears surged up suddenly, uncontrollably. Emotions that had been trapped and pressed down, unable to be spoken, broke free all at once. Then what was I doing all this time, Seokyung? What were you doing all this time—

“Then why… why did you let me believe it?”

“……”

“Why did you leave me in that misunderstanding? Why did you let me… let me carry it all by myself?”

She thought about all those times, imagining what the two of them were doing together, scolding herself for feeling hurt, restless with jealousy when they disappeared together at night. Lying awake, chewing over a year she could never be a part of.

She envied Yang Jisoo, who had spent more time with him than she had. She hated herself for feeling it, for being nothing more than a powerless outsider, telling herself over and over. ‘That’s fine. He loves her. That’s what matters. Even if it isn’t me.’

But now,  how could he say this? How could Cha Seokyung—

“…Didn’t you realize I cared about you?”

“…….”

He hadn’t even given Jisoo his phone number, hadn’t really spent any time with her, and yet he treated her with such care, as if he were always looking after her. Pretending to worry, to be considerate. For what?”

“Ha… why else? Because of you, unnie.”

“You knew, didn’t you? You knew how I felt. That’s why you did it. Because you knew. Because it amused you—”

“Yeonseo, that’s not it.”

“Then what?”

His carefully composed face crumpled. After a long, ragged sigh that was closer to a groan, his answer came back.  Small, helpless, like a bird drenched in rain.

“Because… that way, you’d look at me.”

“…….”

“That way, at least you’d turn your eyes toward me. That way, maybe you’d want me, even if just a little.”

Shame burned through him.

“I’ll just walk. My bag’s light anyway, and I want to enjoy the scenery.”

She hadn’t realized why he was so desperate to pick her up. Why he gave up his seat without a word. Why he spent that whole trip unable to look at her, parched, aching, unable to meet her eyes.

Only when she arrived did Yeonseo finally glance at him. A look, a flicker of awareness, a glance back. And still, he stepped aside. Always yielding.

Pretending to be the ex-boyfriend for once, that had been a reckless impulse.

Please, look at me. Care about me. Get jealous. Want me.

He had known it was childish. But only she could turn him back into that foolish, lovesick twenty-four-year-old boy.

And yet,though he longed for Yeonseo’s care, he had never truly expected it. If he said he hadn’t thought it would wound him, would that make him some kind of monster? When her wide eyes filled with tears right in front of him?

“Yeonseo, I’m sorry… I was wrong.”

The storm in her eyes made his heart sink.

He had thought it better to become an ordinary man who let time drift by lightly than to become the heavy man who waited, drowning in six years of longing. But the time he had abandoned now came back to crush him. A tangled rope, too long, now tightened around his ankles.

“If you apologize, I’ll forgive you. Just this once.”

He hoped that her forgiving heart would still be there. That the girl who had once forgiven him with a single apology would do so again. He was desperate, gasping at the thought that he might ruin everything just when Yeonseo had finally given him her name. He wanted to beg her for time—time to sit her down, warm her hands, wipe her tears, and explain everything, calmly.

“Cha Seokyung. So all of this, it was just a joke, wasn’t it?”

The mess with Yang Jisoo, her careless “I was just messing around” excuses, the way Yeonseo’s heart had worn thin from it, and Seokyung, who had stood by, watching, even playing along.

Yeonseo had told herself, If my feelings are real, then so is his past. I have to respect that. But now, it all felt like a lie. He had let her believe whatever, left her alone in her thoughts.

And now, with only two seasons left, her time with him felt unbearably precious, and unbearably wasted.

He had had the luxury to push and pull, to test her feelings, to guess at them. Luxury she had never had.

“…I guess our time together doesn’t mean anything to you, Cha Seokyung.”

“…What?”

“That’s why you could play these games. For me, four seasons with you was enough. Just being with you was enough. But for you, it wasn’t. You even had to drag Jisoo in, just to see how I’d react. You—”

“Ji Yeonseo!”

Yeonseo had never truly hated anyone before. And yet, sometimes, she had hated Yang Jisoo. Maybe that girl had been right, maybe she really had been pretending to be the “good one.”

But now, to hear it was all nothing, her chest ached. A single hot tear slipped down her cheek. His eyes trembled at the sight, his voice suddenly frantic.

“Yeonseo, just give me an hour. No, thirty minutes. Please, listen to me—”

She pushed his hand away as he reached to wipe her tears. She didn’t want to hear it. Not even for five minutes. She didn’t even want to see his face. Pressing her lips together hard to stifle her sobs, she forced her voice into something steady.

“I don’t want to hear it. Just go.”

“….”

“I don’t want to see you. Not for a while.”

Leaving his stiff, frozen face behind, Yeonseo climbed into a taxi that had just pulled up. His voice, calling her name, grew faint, but she didn’t turn back. Even when he knocked on the window, she pressed her face into her palms, refusing to see.

She was hurt. Bitter. Resentful. Angry.

And yet, questions kept rising inside her.

Cha Seokyung, the womanizer, the “freshman killer,” the guy who supposedly couldn’t sleep without a girl next to him. The one who had loved someone else once, even dreamed of a future with her.

If none of that had been real, then what had his time really been?

Seokyung… what kind of life did you live, all this time?