Mudoo - Chapter 29

She told herself not to fall asleep first—but it wasn’t like she could sleep anyway. Her heart was pounding out of control, heat blooming along her nape where his breath had just touched.

“Why does he keep… flirting like that?”

Lying on a bed big enough for three people, Seula stared up at the ceiling, both hands pressed to the left side of her chest. He’d gotten so close without hesitation—resting his head on her shoulder, brushing his cheek against hers… Whether intentional or not, that was a blatant foul.

“Does he like me?”

Why had he asked her not to fall asleep first? What did he want to do? Was there something he needed to tell her—just her?

She hadn’t felt this way since freshman year, when she had a secret crush on the student council president. He’d buy her coffee, bring snacks, give her those unbearably sweet looks—so of course, she thought he liked her. When she found out he had a long-term girlfriend, she was devastated.

Since then, life had been too much of a grind for love. She’d closed herself off. And yet here she was, feeling things she hadn’t felt in years.

Maybe life was finally softening around the edges. Maybe she had enough space to waste a little emotion again.

“Just go to sleep.”

She shut her eyes, trying to rein in the fluttery feeling inside. The alcohol was making her drowsy, but her nerves were tuned to the hallway beyond the door.

The sound of water running in the bathroom stopped. Then came the soft creak of the door, followed by Tae-shin’s steady footsteps. She could hear him changing his clothes as he entered the room.

“I told you not to fall asleep first.”

The mattress dipped beneath her. Tae-shin lay down beside her and pulled the blanket over both of them, but Seula kept her eyes closed, pretending to sleep.

Then he turned off the lamp by the bed, plunging the room into darkness. A beat later, she heard his calm, rhythmic breathing.

Only then did she sneak one eye open.

Tae-shin looked completely asleep. She rolled onto her side, and his sleeping profile filled her vision. A smooth forehead, long lashes that looked like they’d been painted on, a proud nose, lips that begged to be touched.

Why are you being so nice to me? She wanted to ask aloud.

Maybe it was because she hadn’t grown up with enough affection—whenever someone showed her even a sliver of kindness, she clung to it. She wanted to lean on them, depend on them, cry about everything.

But she knew it wasn’t healthy. She was painfully aware of that. So she’d trained herself not to rely on anyone. Learned to stand on her own.

But when he was this kind… she just wanted to lean a little.

“Why are you pretending to sleep?”

Tae-shin’s lips moved. His eyes opened slightly, and he tilted his head to meet her gaze. Her breath caught.

When he softly said, “Hmm?” Seula finally broke her silence.

“Why did you tell me to wait?”

“No reason.”

His answer was so anticlimactic that she frowned. Tae-shin chuckled and gave her a real answer.

“I just thought… lying here, side by side, having a quiet chat—it’s nice.”

“…”

“There’s a name for this, right? Pillow talk?”

“You sound your age using words like that.”

“Can’t hide how old I am, can I?”

What kind of life had he lived? How many people had come and gone from his side? How had he handled that kind of loss?

She kept getting more curious about him. This was bad. Dangerous. She needed to leave eventually, but she was already growing attached.

“I think… I like you, Tae-shin.”

She could feel him freeze. He looked startled, but only for a moment. Then he smiled and relaxed.

“You don’t even know who I am.”

“You’re Tae-shin. A guy who’s lived a long life.”

“You’re fearless, huh? Must be the youth.”

“And you? All talk, no strength left?”

“Oh, look at you. Getting sassy now.”

Seula could tell. Her confession—blurted out without thinking—meant nothing to him. Just some immature whim from a younger woman. The realization burned through her, mortifying.

“I’m going to sleep. Stop talking to me.”

“But this is fun. Let’s talk more.”

“We’re not on the same wavelength. You’re too old.”

“That’s age discrimination.”

“One more word and—”

Seula shot him a glare and gripped the blanket tight. Tae-shin just grinned.

“One more word and what?”

“…”

“I said two. What now?”

And then, just like that, she kissed him. Her lips pressed against his before she had time to think.

Only afterward did she panic—What do I do now?

A reckless move. But maybe she could blame the alcohol. Pretend she remembered nothing come morning.

As she pulled back, she muttered like a scolding child, “You need to learn that even old guys get in trouble if they mess around.”

Tae-shin’s gaze softened, heavier now. His eyelids fluttered slowly, the look in his eyes deep and unreadable.

He gently cradled her chin and kissed her back—deeply. One arm wrapped around her waist as he rolled over, pinning her beneath him.

His tongue moved into her mouth, slow and deliberate. Their tongues tangled in a hot, messy rhythm. With every turn of their heads, the kiss grew deeper.

Wet sounds filled the room. Her heart thudded wildly. She worried he could hear it.

His hand slid from her chin to her nape, down her shoulder, gripping her arm. He pulled away slowly, reluctantly.

“That’s how you get scolded, Seula.”

She blinked up at him, stunned.

Tae-shin smiled and brushed her hair back, then started to move away.

“Seriously?”

The word slipped out before she could stop it. She grabbed his shoulder.

“Do more.”

He flicked her forehead, not too hard.

“Tiny little thing with no fear.”

“You’re the one who climbed into bed with me. Said not to fall asleep. You started this.”

“You’re the one who went in for the kiss.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Seula blurted it out.

“That was my first kiss.”

“Congrats. Mark the calendar. Make it a holiday.”

“You should take responsibility.”

“I am. I’m giving you room and board. Even paying you.”

“Not that kind of responsibility.”

She was all in now. If she was going to crash, might as well burn.

“Take responsibility for my heart. You made me like you.”

Tae-shin went quiet. He looked lost for words, swallowing hard.

“Will you even be able to look me in the eye tomorrow? Not run away out of embarrassment?”

She squeezed her eyes shut. He wasn’t wrong. She already dreaded facing him in the morning.

“They say older guys are sly. Guess it’s true.”

Tae-shin burst into laughter. He pulled the blanket up to her chin and lay down again.

“The real sly fox is downstairs.”

“If I pretend you’re invisible tomorrow, just go with it.”

“That’d be kind of sad.”

“Then accept my confession now.”

“Also not happening.”

Even her last playful attempt was brushed off. Seula turned her back on him.

“Ugh. You’re the worst.”

“You picked the fight, sweetheart.”

Seula punched her pillow, then rolled back.

“Why’d you kiss me if you weren’t gonna mean it?”

“Helps me forget my regrets.”

“You might forget, but I won’t.”

She yanked the blanket over her head and pouted beneath it. Tae-shin asked, “You asleep?” a few more times after that.

She never answered. Just kept pretending.