Mudoo - Chapter 40

Do people still fall for that classic line—“Let’s just hold hands and sleep”?

Yes. Seula did.

As soon as the lights were off and the two of them crawled into the cramped lovers’ bedding, they were all over each other, not waiting for anyone to make the first move. Their lips collided in a messy rush, and their teeth bumped a few times, making them both burst into laughter.

Seula gently placed her hand on Tae-shin’s shoulder, who was still holding her close and going in for another kiss.

“Don’t you think we’re rushing this a bit?”

“It’s not like I’m the only one dying to do this.”

“Who was the one drawing the line after just a kiss again?”

“So now you’re getting revenge?”

Tae-shin looked into her eyes with a quiet smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“You really know how to hold a grudge.”

When he came out of the shower and lay in bed, the emptiness was unbearable. It had been like this ever since that night at the hotel with Seula.

Like someone lovesick, the moment he opened his eyes, he looked for her. He caught himself watching her without meaning to. If she wasn’t around, he’d grow restless and anxious, unable to sit still.

The desire he’d been holding back for so long had not only broken through the dam but was flooding out uncontrollably.

Even though he knew how dangerous emotions beyond control could be, he was like a kid throwing a tantrum, unable to think straight.

“If you don’t want it, I won’t do anything,” he said casually.

Seula looked at him with a knowing glint in her eyes, as if to say, of course.

“I’ll take care of things myself after you fall asleep.”

“Take care of what, exactly?”

“Well, I can’t go into too much detail.”

What Tae-shin wanted wasn’t anything grand. Just the little things—sharing their day, exchanging small stories, feeling emotions together, falling asleep side by side.

He wanted to know what went on in that small head of hers. What she worried about, what she carried alone. If there was anything he could help carry, he wanted to take it on, no matter what it was.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. What if Seula wanted to leave this place? What if she wanted to go back to her normal life? What if she wanted to blend back into the world and leave him behind?

So he did everything he could to make things here feel like the life she used to know. He didn’t want her to ever feel like anything was lacking.

If she craved a certain food, he’d deliver it himself. If she wanted to go somewhere, he’d take her. Whatever she wanted to do, he wanted to support her completely.

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

Tae-shin asked, gently brushing his thumb across Seula’s lips, still slick from their kiss.

“Hmm…” She looked like she was thinking, then finally spoke.

“I’m thinking of starting job hunting again.”

Just like that. The words he didn’t want to hear. But he forced himself to stay calm.

“I’m not scared of what I see anymore. And I think I can still help you with your work, even while having a regular job.”

“I thought you said being unemployed was your thing.”

“I used to think that too… but it’s scary.”

Her expression tightened slightly.

“The longer this break gets, the harder it’ll be to find a job. I can’t just keep living off of you forever.”

“You can live like this. It’s okay. I told you—I’ll take care of you forever.”

He wanted to say, So don’t go anywhere. Stay with me. But before he could, Seula let out a quiet laugh.

“Then what’s the point of everything I’ve worked for?”

“……”

“I’ve been trying so hard to become a proper adult. If all that effort goes to waste, I don’t think I could handle it.”

If things kept going this way, he wouldn’t be able to give her the heavenly robe back. Once her Mudoo was fully healed and her spiritual sight closed again, Seula would no longer have a reason to stay.

He was the only one clinging to that thread of fate. Tae-shin didn’t like what she was saying—not one bit—but he hid it well.

“What kind of job are you dying to do?”

“It’s not like I have big dreams. I don’t have any special talent, so I know I’ll never be famous or anything. I just want to do the kind of work that suits me. Just something normal, like everyone else.”

That kind of “normal” was a foreign concept to Tae-shin.

“You’ll do great.”

The words slipped out, even though he didn’t mean them.

“You always work hard, so I’m sure you’ll get good results.”

“Coming from you, that sounds like a huge compliment. Makes me feel really good.”

That wasn’t the point, but Seula didn’t know what he was really thinking. She reached out and gently stroked his cheek.

“When I retire one day, I want to open a small café by the sea. Just me, you, and Dong-gil, living a quiet life together.”

“You’re not even employed yet, and you’re already planning retirement?”

“You’re supposed to dream big about the future. That’s what keeps you going.”

Unlike him, who felt suffocated thinking about the future, Seula lived with hope for what lay ahead. Tae-shin let out a small sigh, the distance between them feeling painfully clear.

It was around last winter.

He had just finished delivering a wandering soul to a grim reaper and was catching his breath when he saw her for the first time—Seula—at a construction site with a big banner reading Habitat for Humanity.

Wearing a hard hat and a neon vest, she was dashing around busily.

She had a delicate, pretty face, the kind that caught your eye right away, but that wasn’t why Tae-shin couldn’t look away.

She looked exactly like Yeo-ok.

Even though he knew the woman who’d left this world long ago could never return, he felt like if he approached and said hi, she’d give him that same radiant smile.

From that day on, he visited the site every day, hovering around Seula without her ever noticing.

The way she talked and laughed with others, even the way she brushed past him with the faint scent of soul energy—it was all just like Yeo-ok.

But Seula never realized he was there. She was too busy, handling her tasks, talking about work, and always leaving the site exhausted at the end of the day.

Once, he even brushed past her on purpose, bumping her shoulder. She looked up briefly, muttered a quick “sorry,” and immediately went back to her phone. She definitely didn’t recognize him. There was no other way. The only way to bring Seula to him was through Mudoo.

It had taken a long time. It was probably something she’d resent him for the rest of her life. But still, it was the only way to keep her close.

If her Mudoo fully recovers, and Seula’s spiritual sight closes again…

…she’ll leave, won’t she?

The question he’d once asked her flickered at the tip of his tongue again.

“If I become a normal person again, I’ll probably leave. But I’ll visit sometimes—to see you and Dong-gil.”

If he heard her say that again, he knew it would hurt even more.

So he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

Before he knew it, Seula was asleep, her breathing soft and steady. Tae-shin brushed the hair off her forehead and pressed a gentle kiss there. Her skin was soft, smooth, and warm.

It didn’t matter anymore whether she was Yeo-ok or not. Seula, just as she was, had come to mean everything to him.

The only thing he feared now was her leaving to chase an ordinary life. Her, leaving this world for good. Or being left behind—immortal and alone—aching for someone who would never return.

Tae-shin slowly got up. He tucked the blanket over Seula and stepped out of the room.  Since sleep had fled, he headed to the living room to read by the fireplace. But there was Dong-gil, wide awake and staring at the fire with big, clear eyes.

“Not sleeping?”

Tae-shin plopped onto the single-seater sofa. Dong-gil glanced at him, then spoke.

“I was pretending to sleep. Thought I should give you two some space.”

“You’re getting pretty good at reading the room.”

“People are so complicated. Seriously complicated.”

Tae-shin chuckled and reached out to ruffle Dong-gil’s fur.

“Guess I’m a little jealous. Nothing happier than living simply, huh?”

“Even dogs have their own struggles, okay? Struggles.”

“Like deciding whether to eat the tasty, fatty kibble first or the bland, healthy one?”

Dong-gil let out a tiny whine and tucked his front paws neatly together.