Mudoo - Chapter 67

Her head throbbed.

“Hey, did anyone else see Assistant Manager Woo’s boyfriend? Or was it just me? Damn, that guy’s tall and handsome. Honestly, if someone told me he was a celebrity, I’d believe it. Actually, he’s better looking than most celebrities.”

Even in their small company, it had become the hottest gossip. Strictly speaking, the attention wasn’t on Seula herself, but on the man who had been with her, Kang Tae-shin.

At first, she’d brushed it off with an awkward smile, offering vague reactions. But now she was sick of even doing that. Her mouth was sore from constantly explaining, ‘He’s not my boyfriend’. ‘He’s not someone I’m dating, just an acquaintance’. The CEO, of course, never listened.

A notification popped up on her messenger window.

[Today makes three days straight… right?]

It was from Chohee. Right, today was Wednesday. Ever since the weekend ended, the CEO hadn’t stopped stirring things up by bringing up Kang Tae-shin’s name.

“Assistant Woo, when are you going to treat us to noodles with your boyfriend? This year’s a bit tight, maybe next year?”

The CEO grinned as he tossed the jab. Seula wanted to sew his lips shut. Without sparing him a glance, she just kept typing.

[If we ignore it for about a week, he’ll shut up on his own, right?]

[I’m already sick of it, can’t imagine how much worse it is for you.]

[Thanks for saying that.]

Taking a steady breath, she reached for her coffee. The bitterness cooled her head.

[But seriously, just how handsome is he? What’s got the CEO so obsessed?]

Of course, Chohee would be curious. Everyone in the office probably wanted to ask her the same thing. After a brief pause, Seula tapped her keyboard again.

[He looks like Paeng Sijin.]

She’d typed it without thinking, remembering the man they’d run into on an outside errand not long ago.

[??????????????????????????]

Seula chuckled at the flood of punctuation that came back.

[Are you serious, Assistant Woo?????????????????]

Across from her, Chohee’s typing sounds picked up speed.

[You’re not just blinded by love or anything, right??????????????]

She’d mentioned before that she’d been a fan since Paeng Sijin’s idol days. No wonder she sounded so worked up. Seula, however, just smiled coolly as she replied.

[By the way, he didn’t get a nose job.]

Chohee’s head popped up over the partition, eyes bulging as though to say, If I ever meet him and he doesn’t look like Sijin, you’re dead.

Just then, Seula’s phone buzzed against her desk.

[I just wrapped up, want me to come pick you up from work?]

It was Shin Haejun. They had plans for dinner, but this was a terrible time for him to show up. She was already under scrutiny because of Kang Tae-shin; the last thing she needed was to toss fresh bait to the office gossip.

[Let’s just meet at the restaurant. That’ll be easier.]

Her fingers tapped out the message calmly.

***

One perk of Haejun being a detective was that he knew all the good food spots around town.

After work, they shared a meal at a packed stir-fry place, leaving with satisfied stomachs and easy smiles.

“Good dinner, right?”

Seula playfully tapped his shoulder. He caught her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. The touch was suspiciously tender, but she only yanked her hand back quickly, unfazed.

“I can’t keep letting you treat me like this. Next time, it’s on me.”

“Forget it. You don’t eat enough to matter anyway.”

They got into his car parked in the restaurant lot. Buckling her seatbelt, Seula spoke.

“Just drop me at the subway station.”

“What for? I’ll take you home.”

“Traffic’s bad right now. You said you’ve got to head back to the precinct later, don’t you?”

“I’ve got time. Don’t worry about that.”

Truth be told, she didn’t mind. Rush-hour buses and trains were hellish.

“If you’re tired, catch some sleep on the way.”

His gentle voice drifted in her ear. But Seula didn’t close her eyes. She watched the city roll past the window. The harsh summer heat had broken, leaves now glowing yellow and red.

It’s already autumn. And autumn vanishes in the blink of an eye. Soon it’ll be winter, the cold, bitter kind. How will I get through this one?

Slowly, she blinked. She remembered Kang Tae-shin’s hot chocolate, the fireplace in his living room, the blanket he draped over her shoulders, the warmth of the rocking chair, the snowy scenery they admired from the porch.

Before meeting him, no winter memories existed. All her winters were in Cheonghae-dong, with him.

The drive to her place was quiet. Unlike usual, Haejun didn’t crack jokes, didn’t complain about work. She figured, just as she had her own burdens, he too must have things he couldn’t say aloud. Soon, they reached her building. Seula yawned as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll call you.”

The words came out muffled through her yawn, but he’d understand. She got out, shutting the door firmly behind her. She expected him to drive away, but his car didn’t move. Instead, he stepped out, circling around the hood until he stood in front of her.

“…Why aren’t you leaving?”

She blinked up at him. He scratched the back of his head, gaze drifting somewhere far off, avoiding her eyes.

“What is it? Do you have something to say?”

His lips parted, then closed again. Over and over, as if wrestling with words. Finally, his eyes locked on hers.

“I’ve been thinking a lot.”

A chill ran down her spine. His eyes carried too many tangled emotions. The same heavy atmosphere that comes when you’re about to be confessed to by someone you don’t want.

No. Not this. Please, not this.

She sighed faintly.

Haejun was her only friend from the orphanage, the one connection she still had from childhood. She didn’t want to lose him this way. But unaware of her dread, he continued.

“I won’t drag it out with cheesy lines. I’ll just say it straight.”

Don’t. Don’t say it.

“I think I like you. Let’s give it a real try.”

Seula’s shoulders sagged. Of course, he knew exactly how she’d react.

“You know my answer already, don’t you?”

“Hey, Seula.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. I don’t want things to get awkward between us.”

“Come on, at least act like you’ll think about it.”

“Why pretend? There’s nothing to think about.”

When she tried to walk past him, he blocked her path.

“If you leave me like this, what am I supposed to do?”

“Be screwed, I guess. Like I said, I didn’t hear anything. I’ll forget it. I’ve got a bad memory, remember? I forget things easily.”

“Don’t brush it off like that. Take me seriously.”

“I am being serious.”

Silence stretched. Seula crossed her arms, biting her lip.

“If you’ve got more to say, then say it.”

Dragging a hand down his face, Haejun hesitated, then spoke.

“When you told me you were seeing that guy… Kang Tae-shin.”

Her shoulders flinched.

“That’s when I realized. That I like you.”

“……”

“I couldn’t stop thinking, why him, and not me? Why isn’t it me standing next to you? I thought about it dozens of times every single day. The reason I didn’t confess right after your breakup was because I knew you weren’t ready yet.”

So it really had shown.

“I’m still not sure you are… but my feelings have gotten too heavy for me to carry alone. That’s why I’m telling you now.”

Seula bit the inside of her cheek, unable to meet his eyes.

Sometimes, she wondered why humans bothered living at all. Feelings bloom where they shouldn’t, grow too hot to contain. If you can’t even control your own heart, how are you supposed to live? Free will? What a lie. There’s no freedom in it.

She understood Haejun’s feelings. But she couldn’t accept them.

“My answer’s the same. I didn’t hear it.”

Her voice was firm. She opened the creaking iron door and stepped inside. Climbing the cracked cement stairs, she froze. A tall, shadowed figure leaned against the railing. Arms folded, lips curled into a smile as his eyes locked on hers.

“Thanks for the entertaining show.”

It was Kang Tae-shin.