My Heart Beats - Chapter 9
Chapter 9
The night was deadly cold. Xueman huddled on the sofa, thinking about the new song. After who knows how long, she saw the light on the opposite balcony go out, and when her gaze returned inside, she couldn’t help but hug herself tighter. Knock, knock, knock… A knock sounded—not too light, not too heavy. Xueman dragged herself to the door and opened it.
“Lunatic, do you have a universal charger? I left mine at the company.” Before the door was fully open, she heard Yinchi’s low, magnetic voice. “And you dare open the door this late. Honestly.” Her tone mixed with a little complaint.
“I’ve never met anyone so impolite when borrowing something.” Xueman turned and went back into the room, leaving the door wide open and Yinchi standing there awkwardly. After a moment, Xueman came out of the bedroom with the charger. “Here.”
Yinchi stood close to the door after entering. She wore a trench coat over her medium-sized white shirt, and only shorts on her lower half. Xueman stared at her long, slender legs, her face slightly flushing. “Why are you staring at me like that? That’s rude.”
“Are you… free the day after tomorrow?” Xueman asked, ignoring the previous question.
“What is it?”
“Um, I have my first official recording the day after tomorrow, and I’m a little scared. Can you come with me?”
“Hahaha! Sure. I’m a great Chinese neighbor.” Yinchi’s hearty laugh rang out as she put an arm around Xueman’s shoulder and said, “Don’t be afraid.” Seeing the doubt in Xueman’s eyes, she added, “It’ll be fine.”
…
Two days later, Xueman and Yinchi entered the recording studio. Henry and Teacher Huiyuan were already there. “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” Xueman stepped forward and bowed apologetically.
“It’s fine, you’re actually five minutes early.” Henry patted her shoulder, then noticed Yinchi standing by the door. “Why is she here too?”
“I’m nervous, so I asked her to come and keep an eye on me.” Xueman smiled at Yinchi.
Xueman walked into the recording booth and put on the headphones. Yinchi and the two men watched from outside. Teacher Huiyuan skillfully adjusted the volume, then gave Xueman an okay sign. She closed her eyes and began to sing with feeling…
It doesn’t feel like painÂ
It’s not slowly flowing in my heartÂ
Your shadowÂ
Takes up more and more spaceÂ
Attaching itself like a shadowÂ
In my dreams and me
I suddenly turn aroundÂ
The vast, hazy night skyÂ
Waking up, I feel no painÂ
Only after realization do I feel this relaxedÂ
And my soulÂ
Has returned to my heartÂ
No matter how love spontaneously fluctuatesÂ
To care for youÂ
Finally we do it with more ease…
This was the first time Yinchi had heard Xueman sing so clearly. Unlike her own slow-to-warm-up singing style, Xueman could quickly get into the zone. Listening quietly, the curve of Yinchi’s smile grew wider and wider. She knew that with Xueman’s talent, Understood Love would make her famous. She turned to look at Henry next to her. The ambiguous look he gave made it obvious what he was thinking…
The recording was complete, and Huiyuan was generally very satisfied, saying they would re-record if there were any issues. “Let’s call it a day here.” Henry patted Xueman again. “The company is having a party tomorrow. The venue’s booked, so come over in the evening…”
…
“Hey, scoundrel.” Xueman sat at the bar, fiddling with the empty glass in her hand, talking to the person in front of her who was focused only on making coffee and not looking at her.
“What is it, lunatic?” Yinchi looked up at her. “What did you think of my singing just now?”
“Not bad.”
“That’s it~~”
“Well, actually…” Before she could finish, Xueman became impatient. “Come on…”
The speed of the latte art slowed. Yinchi raised her eyes, stopped working, and resting her cheek on her palm, said, “You’re only in your 20s. Singing a song this mature is a bit of a challenge.”
When Xueman heard this, she shook Yinchi’s arm. “Oh, tell me if it’s good or not~~”
“It’s good.” Yinchi brushed her hand away and held it in her palm. “Your voice is stirring in this song. Teacher Huiyuan also put a lot of effort into the arrangement; the bright harp supports the entire melody, it’s beautiful.”
“Really?” Xueman finally smiled, squeezing Yinchi’s hand a little harder. “So… what were your feelings?”
Yinchi tilted her head and said, “After listening to it, it makes me wonder why we always wait until the story is over to see how beautiful the memories are? Why do we fail to see it as love slowly drifts away…”
Xueman remembered that when Teacher Huiyuan first met her, he said her voice lacked storytelling and resonance. Hearing this kind of evaluation from Yinchi, who was always nitpicky, made her heart soar.
“Come to that party with me tomorrow.”
“Why? I don’t know your friends.” The refusal was expected.
Xueman looked at her, unable to utter the words she had prepared. It would be easier to ask the world to stop turning than to get Yinchi to attend a company’s year-end party.
After a long pause, Xueman spoke again: “Then just spend the day with me tomorrow, okay?” Yinchi frowned. Why couldn’t she just say what she meant? She asked with confusion, “Is there somewhere you want to go?”
Xueman let out a barely audible sigh: “Forget it if you don’t want to.” She pulled her hand from Yinchi’s grasp, stood up, looked at her with a mix of disappointment, but ultimately said nothing more and left the coffee shop. Xueman’s look filled Yinchi with vexation. As she left, Yinchi desperately wanted to reach out and stop her, but she didn’t know what had happened and didn’t know how to ask.
Then, she closed the shop alone and went home alone. She stood at Xueman’s door for a full ten minutes, but the hand raised halfway never knocked on that door. Lying alone in bed, she was inexplicably enveloped by loneliness. Loneliness? Why this unfamiliar feeling? All her life, what she was most used to, and slowly came to enjoy, was her own company, wasn’t it? What was this sudden feeling? She remembered the night they slept embracing, the way they bickered like they were fighting, and the focused expression on Xueman’s face when she heard her hum Xin Zai Tiao. Thus, in the cold, dark night, she felt the need to examine her heart.
This sleep lasted a long time. She woke up close to noon the next day, had brunch at the company, and attended a routine meeting. Looking at the song sheet in her hands, Yinchi couldn’t bring herself to write a single word. She poured a cup of black coffee. The bitterness perfectly matched her current mood. Time ticked by. Off work, home, lie down, wanting to do nothing at all.