My Husband Became the Most Powerful Minister - Chapter 59

She didn’t expect that on the second day of her period, she would still have some abdominal pain.

 

Helan Ci lay curled up on the inner side of the bed, biting her lip and enduring in silence for a while. She barely made a sound, but a thin sheen of sweat appeared on her forehead. She told herself to just get through it—once the drowsiness came, she’d fall asleep and everything would be fine. Due to the pain from her childhood illness, she had always been good at enduring this kind of thing.

 

It was the same as always.

 

It was just that this time, Lu Wuyou happened to notice.

 

He had only meant to check if she was asleep, but when he saw the sweat on her forehead, he thought she was having a nightmare. Then he noticed her biting her lip. Lu Wuyou’s expression changed and said. “Don’t tell me… you’re still in pain?”

 

Helan Ci whispered, “Just a little. It’s not that bad.”

 

Lu Wuyou lit the lamp and wiped the sweat from her forehead. He noticed that He Lan’s porcelain lips were slightly chapped.

 

The ever-talkative Lu Wuyou was silent for quite a while before finally saying, “I thought the pain yesterday had passed. Why didn’t you tell me you were still hurting?”

 

Helan Ci replied, “It’s really not that painful.”

 

Lu Wuyou pressed his palm lightly against her lower back. A warm current flowed through, spreading heat across her waist and abdomen. He sighed,   “Although being independent is a good thing, you should rely on me a little, otherwise, this husband of yours feels like he’s doing nothing.”

 

Helan Ci said softly, “I already… rely on you quite a lot.”

 

Seeing how strained she was, Lu Wuyou said, “Forget it. Don’t talk. I won’t either.”

 

His hand remained pressed to her lower back, as if pushing away the bl00d clots. Helan Ci stayed in that position for a while before she gradually felt the pain ease. Her tense body relaxed, and drowsiness slowly crept in. Behind her, Lu Wuyou’s voice came faintly:

 

“How did you end up being so used to enduring everything…”

 

The next day, Lu Wuyou summoned a doctor to the residence to check on her. By then, Helan Ci was already bouncing around like usual and thought he was making a fuss over nothing. The doctor also said that Madam’s health was generally fine.

 

Lu Wuyou asked, “Then why is there still pain?”

 

The old doctor coughed, stroked his beard, and said, “This… more or less, there’s always going to be some discomfort. Just make sure Madam doesn’t catch cold.”

 

Helan Ci tugged at his sleeve slightly, with a bit of embarrassed pleading in her expression, hoping he wouldn’t continue the topic.

 

Only then did Lu Wuyou stop, though he still looked at her and said, “Being a woman really is harder than I imagined.”

 

Helan Ci rubbed her stomach. “That’s just how we’re born. Since I’m here, I’ll make peace with it.”

 

Lu Wuyou seemed to suddenly think of something. “Then… when giving birth in the future, will it hurt even more?”

 

Helan Ci: “…!”

 

Aren’t you thinking way too far ahead?

 

But Lu Wuyou continued, “If it’s going to be that painful, then maybe we shouldn’t. Your body seems like it would fall apart after just a little bit of trouble.”

 

Helan Ci thought he was worrying too much too soon—she wasn’t even sure she could get pregnant. She casually said, “Let’s talk about it later.”

 

***

 

Now that her body felt a little better and no longer uncomfortable, Helan Ci went off to practice archery again, brimming with enthusiasm. Lu Wuyou couldn’t help but say, “Take it easy.”

 

Helan Ci raised her bow and aimed, saying, “I’m taking my time with everything, anyway, I’m not in a hurry.”

 

She somewhat missed the feeling of shooting arrows back in the palace. The overly tense spirit and a bit of competitiveness made her particularly excited at that time. Practicing alone in the residence just didn’t seem to bring out that same state.

 

After thinking for a moment, Helan Ci said, “…Why don’t you compete with me?”

 

Lu Wuyou almost laughed out loud, his shoulders shaking slightly as he said, “Miss Helan, are you sober?”

 

Helan Ci wasn’t the least bit embarrassed. “Didn’t you say I should rely on you more? Besides, you look rather…” free.

 

Ever since Lu Wuyou had agreed to take on the task of delivering the imperial edict to Yizhou, he had actually been idle the past few days, waiting for the travel permits and orders to be issued. He doesn’t need to go to the Hanlin Academy anymore, just waiting to pack up and set off.

 

However, before Lu Wuyou even left, Hua Weiling was the one who announced her departure first.

 

“I’ve stayed long enough, and I’ve seen most of Capital already.” She had changed back into the black outfit she wore when she first arrived, her long hair tied up neatly, dimples appearing at her cheeks, looking lively and refreshing. “I’ve disturbed you and sister-in-law long enough. The elder just sent a letter urging me to return, so I’ll head back for now and come again next time.”

 

Since she put it that way, it wouldn’t be right to try and make her stay.

 

Helan Ci was actually quite fond of this sister-in-law of hers, although she was… rather worrying at times.

 

Just as she was about to say a few more words of caution, Hua Weiling pulled her aside and said, “Sister-in-law, when I first arrived, you didn’t seem to like my brother very much. How about now? Do you like him a bit more? My brother’s actually a really good person, and you two have already done this and that…”

 

Helan Ci’s cheeks flushed.

 

There was no helping it. Lu Wuyou really did act as he pleased, any time and place—who knows how many times Hua Weiling had accidentally witnessed something.

 

“I…” She didn’t know how to respond. She turned her head and saw Lu Wuyou standing not far away, tall and graceful, speaking softly with Qingye. His eyes curved as he smiled, his demeanor elegant, face clear like water, untouched by the dust of the world.

 

Seeing this, Hua Weiling grinned and said, “Alright, I’ve got my answer!”

 

Suddenly, Helan Ci recalled something. “If you’re leaving… what about that Mister Mu?”

 

Hua Weiling replied, “Oh, he’s got nowhere to go. Seems like he’s planning to come with me.”

 

Helan Ci: “…?”

 

Aren’t you a bit too trusting?!

 

That Mister Mu Ling basically had “ulterior motives” written all over his face.

 

As the two of them were finishing their conversation, Lu Wuyou happened to walk over and said, “Weiling, since you’re leaving, it wouldn’t be convenient to bring someone along. I’ve already arranged a place for that Mister Mu. Didn’t he want to become a chivalrous wanderer? I’m sending him to Tingjian Villa. Up at the hours of Yin¹, sleep at the end of Xu hours², train with the sword seven hours a day. I guarantee he’ll soon…” Lu Wuyou smiled, “…fulfill his dream.”

 

Helan Ci immediately understood why he had been smiling so slyly while speaking with Qingye just now.

 

Hua Weiling hesitated. “Won’t that be too tough on him…?”

 

Lu Wuyou said, “Fulfilling one’s dreams is always hard. When I was studying, it was also very tough. I’ve already sent someone to inform him…”

 

Before he finished speaking, they saw Mu Ling staggering out of the house, clutching his chest. His hair was slightly disheveled, his eyes showed a hint of sorrow, and he bit his lower lip tightly, as if deeply hurt, saying, “If Miss Hua finds me an eyesore, I shall leave on my own. No need to trouble you. It’s just that the grace of saving my life… I don’t know when I’ll have the chance to repay it in this lifetime…”

 

Hua Weiling scratched her head. “It’s not that I find you an eyesore, it’s just…”

 

Mu Ling smiled sadly and said, “So when the story is finished, I’m of no more use?”

 

The last time Helan Ci saw such a pitiful man was Lu Wuyou, putting on a show of coughing up bl00d in a carriage for Shao’an Gongzhu.

 

Lu Wuyou himself, unsurprisingly, was highly resistant to this act. He said, “Mister Mu, that’s not it. My sister’s traveling through jianghu³, and bringing you along might not be safe. We’re doing this for your own good.”

 

A bitter smile appeared on Mu Ling’s gentle face as he said, “Well, thank you for your kind intentions, Lu Daren. But I think I’ll just find a place to live out the rest of my days.”

 

He had just turned to leave, and Hua Weiling had just taken a step, Lu Wuyou added, “If you had said even one genuine word, I might not have felt the need to drive you away from my sister.”

 

Mu Ling’s steps halted.

 

In a moment, he turned his head and smiled, saying, “My heart is clear as dayHeaven knows, Earth knows, you know, I know. Only Weiling doesn’t know. At least this intention has never been false. Didn’t Lu Daren also suffer for love for a while? Surely you understand my heart.”

 

Lu Wuyou chuckled coldly, “At least I didn’t put on such an act.”

 

Mu Ling said, “Actually, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say.” He took a note from his sleeve and handed it to Lu Wuyou, saying, “Lu Daren, you might want to take a look.”

 

After a while.

 

Helan Ci asked curiously, “What did he write?”

 

Lu Wuyou replied blandly, “Useless garbage ideas.”

 

***

 

After sending off Hua Weiling, the day of Lu Wuyou’s departure drew even closer.

 

So he made the most of his time, giving Helan Ci more pointers on her training, overseeing her form to make sure it was more precise—this included both swordsmanship and close-combat techniques.

 

By the end of the training, Helan Ci was drenched in sweat. Lu Wuyou pulled her wrist, she stumbled and fell onto him.

 

Helan Ci lay softly against Lu Wuyou for a while. Just as she was about to prop herself up, Lu Wuyou flipped them over and pinned her beneath him. His fingers gently pressed over her body, as if checking the results of her training.

 

“Muscles and bones seem a bit softer than before…”

 

Helan Ci felt ticklish under his touch and twisted away, her knee pressing forcefully.

 

Lu Wuyou suddenly let out a muffled groan. “Did you just hit the wrong place?”

 

Helan Ci became stiff.

 

Lu Wuyou sighed, his lips brushing against hers as he murmured, his voice seeming to come from deep in his chest, “Is that it? I’m about to leave—where’s my encouragement? Are you just being perfunctory?”

 

Helan Ci grew a little flustered. Especially since they were still pressed so closely together, she could clearly feel the subtle change in Lu Wuyou’s body. Their lips were still faintly, almost imperceptibly, touching.

 

Like soft, tingling sparks, a slow-burning fuse.

 

Helan Ci blinked her long eyelashes slightly. In a lowered voice, she whispered something—and the next moment, Lu Wuyou scooped her up into his arms.

 

Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck, only to feel him casually slip off her embroidered shoes. She was still dazed when she heard him chuckle softly, “Perfect timing. I’ve just learned a few new things—thought I’d try them out.”

 

“……What have you learned?”

 

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

 

Helan Ci thought he was going to do something immediately. Instead, he called someone to prepare the water and headed straight to the bathing chamber.

 

—Fine. This man really did love cleanliness.

 

It’s just…

 

Helan Ci flushed with embarrassment and frustration. “It’s not like I don’t have the strength to just wash, I don’t need you to wash me!”

 

Lu Wuyou replied, “I just want to get a better understanding⁴.”

 

Helan Ci retorted, “Then why don’t you let me get a better understanding too!”

 

Lu Wuyou began slowly removing his clothes, those alluring peach-blossom eyes fixed on her as he smiled. “Well then—you can try to understand as much as you like.”

 

Helan Ci hadn’t expected that even the act of him taking off his robes could be so seductive—it was honestly breathtaking. Lu Wuyou casually let down the hair tied under his official hat. His long hair fell loosely, and the upright dignity that his uniform imposed earlier now gave way to an unmistakable, wild allure.

 

His entire being radiated an aura of complete unruliness.

 

Then he came over to ‘get better understanding of each other’.

 

The tub wasn’t even big enough—cramming two people in felt like it might collapse at any moment.

 

Helan Ci leaned against him, panting softly. Her fair and slender fingers gripped the edge of the tub, her body turning weak as he touched her back.

 

She lived up to her name⁵—skin white as porcelain, as if coated in the finest glaze. Even the lines from her shoulder blades to her butterfly bones were so delicately beautiful, it was as if wings could truly unfurl from her back—fragile and ethereal, making one afraid to touch, yet unable to resist.

 

Lu Wuyou said with a slight breathlessness, “I’m just giving you a back rub, no need to be so tense.”

 

—To be fair, he really was just giving her a back rub, but the act itself was already ambiguous enough.

 

Especially when Lu Wuyou, while rubbing her back, would occasionally lean over and plant a soft kiss on her shoulder.

 

Helan Ci trembled.

 

“You should eat more,” he murmured. “You’re too thin.”

 

Helan Ci couldn’t help but whisper with a trembling voice, “Stop rubbing…”

 

Lu Wuyou’s voice was soft and low, with a hint of seduction: “Of course, I have to wash every inch of your back clean. Later… you can also give me a rub.”

 

Helan Ci bit her lip, the sense of embarrassment rising in waves.

 

Before long, she saw Lu Wuyou raise his fingers, still glistening with water. He let out a light laugh, and it even seemed like he wanted to taste them. Helan Ci’s mind went blank, and in an instant, she pressed his finger down forcefully, saying, “That’s enough!”

 

“Want to know if it’s sweet or not.”

 

“…There’s no way it is!”

 

Lu Wuyou replied, “You never know,” and leaned in again, softly kissing her for a while.

 

Helan Ci tilted her neck to receive his kiss, her body submerged in water, sensations blurred and hard to grasp.

 

After a moment, Lu Wuyou slowly spoke up: “Why do I feel… your body is even more beautiful than your face?”

 

Helan Ci felt like he was starting nonsense again. “Can’t you just praise me a little less?”

 

“Why aren’t you happy with my praises?” Lu Wuyou’s voice was soft and gentle, “I’m just trying to honestly express my admiration. After all, the best scenery in the world is enjoyed by me alone.”

 

Helan Ci couldn’t take it anymore. She lifted her head and blocked his mouth with her own.

 

Lu Wuyou finally went quiet for a moment.

 

After washing, Lu Wuyou even tried to wipe her dry with a cloth. Helan Ci struggled to snatch it away and dried herself off before wrapping up in her sleepwear and climbing onto the bed. Lu Wuyou was already waiting for her there.

 

“I’ve done my research…” Lu Wuyou murmured, kissing her here and there, “You can enjoy yourself first.”

 

Helan Ci had no idea what exactly he had “researched.”

 

In fact, she hadn’t really looked into anything herself, and in that moment, she even felt a bit regretful. Should she have studied too… If she had already studied more, she should have been able to handle it better…

 

Immediately after, Helan Ci gasped in surprise.

 

She reacted extremely violently, immediately shrinking her body and dodging, her tone panicked: “I’m warning you—don’t kiss down there!”

 

Lu Wuyou, on the other hand, looked at her leisurely, his thumb brushing lightly over his lips. His eyes and brow held a look that was anything but proper, the corner of his mouth still glistening faintly with water. Unhurriedly, he said, “What are you so flustered for?”

 

Helan Ci’s gaze was drawn to his slightly damp lips—and her shame exploded on the spot.

 

“Can’t we just be normal… and keep it simple…”

 

“What’s abnormal about this?” Lu Wuyou even flicked out the tip of his tongue to lick the corner of his mouth. His peach blossom eyes shimmered red at the corners, lifting slightly as he smiled, captivating and alluring. “It’s sweet.”

 

“…!”

 

Helan Ci couldn’t take it. She clutched her head and said, “Just shut up!”

 

“All right, all right, I’ll stop teasing you. We can take our time…” Lu Wuyou chuckled softly. “It’s not even Hai hour⁶ yet. Still plenty of time before I leave in the morning.”

 

The continuous rain outside has started again recently. The weather lately had been unpredictable—perhaps the plum rain season⁷ had truly arrived.

 

The autumn chrysanthemums Helan Ci had worked so hard to nurse back to life had only just begun to unfurl their petals again. But within a few days, they were once more soaked by the rain. Thankfully, this rain wasn’t as fierce as the last storm, and the budding flowers weren’t as savagely battered this time.

 

Still, the rain poured on and on through the night, showing no signs of stopping—falling steadily with a relentless patter.

 

By the end, those few little flowers still wilted there, drooping weakly.

 

Waking up in the middle of the night, Shuangzhi looked toward the window. Seeing the rain still falling outside, a wave of melancholy swept over her once again.

 

***

 

Helan Ci listened to the sound of the rain and began to think that Lu Wuyou might be someone who never gets tired.

 

She really wanted to ask him how he trained to become like this. Was there still hope for her ten years from now?

 

At first, she thought about counting how many times—after all, she didn’t count clearly last time—but in the end, Helan Ci quickly forgot about it.

 

Not only was she unable to sleep, she almost knocked into the bedpost. Lu Wuyou cushioned the back of her head with his hand, chuckling lightly. Helan Ci couldn’t hold it in anymore and bit his shoulder.

 

Lu Wuyou actually laughed, clearly in a very good mood. “If you bite a little harder, I’ll also go a little harder.”

And as it turned out, Lu Wuyou was a man of his word—he never said things he didn’t mean.

 

Very soon, Helan Ci felt like that bath earlier had been entirely for nothing. Lu Wuyou even leaned close to her ear, his voice low and hoarse, whispering,

“Why don’t you call me ‘Lu Daren’ a couple more times… Miss Helan, I suddenly find that address quite appealing.”

 

Helan Ci did not think so.

 

She even had a sudden urge to scratch him. Through gritted teeth, she forced out, “Lu Ji’an, that’s enough!”

 

Lu Wuyou chuckled again, and amidst the surrounding sounds, a hint of indescribable mischief became even more apparent.

 

Much later, when their hair lay quietly entwined upon the bed, Helan Ci didn’t even feel like talking anymore. She simply panted for breath, her soft voice now carrying a touch of hoarseness once more.

 

The long hair on the pillow looked tangled and lingering—one couldn’t even tell which strands belonged to whom.

 

Lu Wuyou still seemed to want to hold her for a little longer.

 

Helan Ci was a bit shaken, her voice hoarse, somewhat pleading: “It’s time to sleep!”

 

Lu Wuyou picked up a strand of her hair, twirling it around his finger.

“I know. Just lie down… After all, I’m about to leave. Please be a little more tolerant. That way in the future I won’t…”

 

Helan Ci no longer knew what time it was outside—she only remembered hearing the sound of the watchman who seemed to have echoed through the night several times.

 

She closed her eyes wearily, allowing Lu Wuyou to gently kiss her cheek, her smooth, jade-like shoulder, and her neck for a while. After regaining some strength, she felt a wave of embarrassment and finally pushed his head away, burying her face into the pillow, her voice thick with drowsiness: “…Go to sleep.”

 

Lu Wuyou replied, “You go ahead. I’m not sleepy yet.”

 

Helan Ci moved her lips with difficulty.

“You have to leave by dawn at the latest. I still have to see you off. Sleep.”

 

Lu Wuyou said, “I’ll sleep on the way.”

 

Helan Ci really didn’t have the energy to argue with him anymore. Her eyes closed, and she soon drifted off. But perhaps because her mind was still preoccupied, she didn’t sleep for long before waking again, only to find Lu Wuyou still awake, eyes lowered as his long fingers toyed with her hair.

 

Seeing that the sky was already beginning to brighten, Helan Ci quickly whispered, “Hurry and get dressed. It’s almost time to leave!”

 

Lu Wuyou looked up at her, his voice slightly sighing: “None of us really want to go.”

 

Helan Ci Fan: “Lu Daren, this is official business. Don’t you still want to be a powerful minister? You can’t start getting lazy now.”

 

Lu Wuyou glanced at her again.

“You didn’t talk this much last night.”

 

Of course, he was just saying it casually. Reluctantly letting go of her hair, Lu Wuyou added,

“Alright, I’m getting up. You continue to sleep.”

 

Helan Ci also groped around, wanting to get dressed and leave the bed.

“I’ll see you off.”

 

Lu Wuyou quickly changed his clothes, looking quite energetic, showing no signs of having not slept all night.

 

“No need. Everything’s already prepared. Besides, can you even get out of bed right now?”

 

Helan Ci tried to move her legs off the bed. The moment they touched the floor, they trembled and felt unsteady. Embarrassment surged through her. She tried harder to shift her other leg down, but Lu Wuyou, now fully dressed in his formal wear, swooped in and lifted her right back onto the bed.

 

“…!”

 

Helan Ci glared at him.

 

“Whether you send me off or not is meaningless; You’ve already given me enough encouragement…” Lu Wuyou said with a hint of a smile, “Lu Daren is greatly encouraged.”

 

After tying his hair, Lu Wuyou looked back at her again.

 

She was stubborn as always.

 

Helan Ci, supporting herself with the bedpost, shakily dressed herself. Seeing him watching, she huffed, “You said I could do whatever I wanted!” She didn’t want to be seen as a lazy person.

 

Lu Wuyou had no choice but to walk over and help her put on the dress: “Lift your arms.”

 

Helan Ci was somewhat awkwardly being attended to by him, still trying to get her footing when she heard Lu Wuyou’s faint voice above her:

“Somehow I feel like after I leave, you won’t miss me that much. After all, you can manage just fine on your own.”

 

“How could you think that?” Helan Ci looked at him in slight surprise. “Of course I’ll…”

 

“When I was locked up in the Censorate, you didn’t seem like you missed me all that much.”

 

That was so long ago.

 

Helan Ci said, “I think maybe… you still have some misunderstandings about me.”

 

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.” Lu Wuyou tied the sash of her robe and stepped back. His expression was calm and open, without a trace of resentment or blame. It was the same look he had that day, as if he had made peace with himself. “In the future, you will always think of me.”

 

***

 

Lu Wuyou traveled very lightly. He then only giving her a string of instructions before stepping onto the carriage and disappearing into the fine drizzle.

 

In Helan Ci’s mind, Lu Wuyou’s words were still echoing.

 

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone—maybe one or two months, maybe several. Since there may be risks, I might not be able to send letters. If you have anything to tell me, you can use the token to entrust someone at Dongfeng Buye Building to pass it on to me.”

 

“The residence has a secret passage that was repaired before you arrived, leading directly to a safe place within the city. It is stocked with enough food and water, so natural disasters and man-made calamities are of no concern.”

 

“I’ve also left enough guards for you, so don’t be too afraid. If you run out of silver, you can withdraw from Dongfeng Buye Building. They’ll put it on my account.”

 

One thing after another—he practically said everything there was to say.

 

Since it was all Lu Wuyou speaking, Helan Ci had only enough time to reply with short sentences: “Safe travels. Just focus on investigating the case. You don’t need to worry too much about me.”

 

She used to often see her father off like this too.

 

The moment of parting is always quite ordinary, only later do we realize it was not.

 

Lu Wuyou and Hua Weiling had both left one after the other. The residence was now empty. With no noisy servants around, the place felt especially quiet. Helan Ci exercises, practices archery, reads books, writes, and practices embroidery…

 

No different from usual.

 

But no one would casually stroll over with snacks at this moment and say, “Miss Helan, that move just now was a little off. Raise your arm a bit higher.”

 

Or say, “If you’d met me earlier, maybe I could’ve taught you… Oh wait, we did meet quite early.”

 

No one would constantly tease her, play with her hair, touch her cheek, kiss her in all the wrong places while murmuring nonsense into her ear.

 

At meals, no one would pick out dishes for her, saying, “This dish is well made today, you should try more.”

 

It suddenly became quiet around her.

 

Because of the quietness, it made her uncomfortable.

 

When Helan Ci woke in the middle of the night, she would no longer see that calm, upright silhouette sleeping beside her, breathing evenly.

 

Back when they spent every day together, seeing him all the time, she hadn’t felt anything unusual. But now, bit by bit, she began to realize that Lu Wuyou had quietly come to occupy every part of her daily life. In the past, even if he was gone for a day or two, it didn’t feel like much—but now that he’d been gone for a while, she was finally beginning to feel it.

 

It seemed… she had already gotten used to the days with Lu Wuyou in them.

 

Now that he was gone, just one person missing, the world felt frighteningly quiet.

 

Shuangzhi seemed to have noticed that Helan Ci had been a bit down these days, so she suggested, “How about we invite Miss Yao to join us for incense offering?”

 

Helan Ci: “No need.”

 

She didn’t especially want to go—and besides, the last time she did, it was Lu Wuyou who came to fetch her home.

 

Helan Ci calmed her mind and lowered her head to practice writing. After a while, she realized she hadn’t followed the copybook and had unconsciously written the characters “Wu You⁸.” She paused slightly, then pulled the sheet of paper off.

 

Staring at it for a moment, she suddenly thought quietly to herself—how long since he has left?

 

T/n:

I think the reason why Lu Wuyou often felt uneasy about their relationship is that he grew up with loving parents. His parents didn’t shy away from their kids to be affectionate to each other. It even made Lu Wuyou fed up, and thought that marriage was troublesome. 

So then he unconsciously thought that their relationship in marriage—especially when he realized he likes Helan Ci—must more or less like his parents.

While Helan Ci grew up with a strict single father that taught her to behave ‘properly’. She must have felt that their relationship is already far from what she had expected of a marriage, and felt their way of marriage life before was already good enough.