My New Love That Isn’t Fated - Episode 32

“You don’t need to do anything today,” Owen said.
Lilia had wanted to help somehow, but let herself be guided to the bed.

“Lilia… Is there anything you need? I feel awkward asking, but… do you need any medicine?”

Understanding what Owen meant, Lilia gave a small, troubled smile.

“Two months ago, when I started working at the Tenegro Library, I found out Lord Elad was cheating on me. That was when I realized how he truly felt about me.”

There was only one double bed in Owen’s room. When she lay down on the gray sheets, she caught the faint scent of him—his subtle lavender cologne.
Next to the bedside lamp was a handkerchief she had embroidered with a little owl.
Aside from a few stacked books, the room was bare.

A large window opened to a small balcony. Outside, she could see the alley below. The heavy clouds overhead made it hard to tell what time it was.
The clock said it was just past 3 p.m.
It was strange how much time had passed since she escaped Elad. No matter what you do, time keeps moving. The sky changes, and life goes on.
Owen sat beside the bed, gently stroking her hair as she lay curled into a cushion.

The way he touched her—so gently, like she was fragile—made her feel as if the invisible cracks all over her were slowly being mended.

“Owen… Is it okay for me to talk about this?”

“I want you to tell me everything. I want to understand you.”

“…My mother left me when I was three. It was a clear, sunny day. That’s my earliest memory. She held my hand and took me for a walk in the morning sunlight.”

“I see.”

Lilia remembered being so happy. They looked at roses together, chased butterflies. Her mother’s hand had been soft and warm, and she smiled gently.

“She told me she’d read to me that afternoon. But after we came back to the house, she locked me in the nursery. The room played music from a music box—it was my favorite nocturne.”

Her mother had wound up the music box, patted Lilia’s head as she played with dolls, and said, “Just wait here a little,” before getting up.

“When I heard the lock click behind her, I didn’t understand what was happening. I cried and screamed… but she never came back. That day, she disappeared from my life—and from the house—for good.”

“I see…”

Lilia had never told anyone this story before.
It was too heavy. Too painful.
Even when she made friends at the Royal Capital University, she couldn’t bring herself to speak of it.
More than anything, she didn’t know how to put it into words.
Talking about it felt like reopening an old wound that had barely scabbed over.

“I didn’t understand what had happened until I got older. My father hated her—maybe even despised her. I think he couldn’t forgive her for making her own choices. He never loved her, but he still thought of her as his property.”

“Did Earl Tillys not love your mother?”

“No, I don’t think he did. One of the maids once said he had a serious relationship with another woman. He was hardly ever home. He even invited her into the house. There was no place left for my mother.”

“That’s awful.”

“I think my mother ran away with someone she truly loved. She left me behind.”

Her father’s bl00d ran through her veins, and because of that, she had been nothing but a burden to her mother.
And to her father, she had been just as unwanted.
Lilia had realized from a young age that no one truly needed her.

“I swore I’d never become like my mother. I told myself that if I ever had a child, it would be cruel to them—because I would pass on all my sadness.”

“You must have suffered a lot.”

Owen gently touched the corner of her eye.
There were no tears, but when his thumb softly brushed her skin, it felt like he was wiping away the tears of the little girl she had once been.

“…I’m a calculating woman. I started working at the library without telling Lord Elad, and I was preparing for a separation. I didn’t want a child to go through what I had, so I’ve been taking contraceptives for two months. I know better than anyone that I shouldn’t have a child with him.”

“…I see.”

“I’m sorry… I must sound terrible, saying all this.”

“No. I was worried about you. I thought that if you were pregnant with his child, I’d still want to protect you both. I even considered asking a doctor about getting you medicine, if it would help keep you safe… I wasn’t sure if I should say that, but…”

“Thank you—for worrying about me. For not avoiding the painful parts. I’m grateful for your kindness. I don’t have anything to offer you right now, but…”

“That doesn’t matter,” Owen said softly, placing a hand on her forehead.

“Get some rest.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll be right here. I won’t leave you alone.”

“…Mm.”

Lilia relaxed, letting herself drift off.

She usually curled into a ball when she slept, but this time, lying on her back, she slowly sank into a deep sleep.