My New Love That Isn’t Fated - Episode 42

Leaning back against the pillows on the bed, Lilia opened the exchange diary of Princess Ayril.
Beside her, Owen traced each word with his finger as he read along.

His hair was still damp from a recent bath, and through the wide collar of his sleepwear, his thick neck and defined collarbones were visible.
Every time his rough fingers moved over the pages resting on Lilia’s lap, a slight tension ran through her body.

“I won’t do anything, Lilia. Not yet. Not anything.”

Owen must have noticed her nervousness—he spoke softly.
Blushing, Lilia shook her head.
“It’s not that I’m scared. I’m just a little shy…”

“If I told you how cute you are every time I think it, I’d be saying it a hundred times a day.”

“You’re… very good with words, Owen.”

“Words? I’m not particularly good at talking. But when I feel like I can speak honestly, it gets much easier. I love you. Ever since you called that owl script ‘ancient writing,’ I’ve been drawn to you. When I saw you at the library, I felt such a surge of joy. Just watching you from afar—just knowing you existed—made me happy.”

“W-Wait… hold on, just a moment…”

There was still a little time before bed. When Lilia had said she wanted to read more of the diary, Owen had agreed to stay with her.
But with him stroking her hair and whispering in her ear, she couldn’t concentrate at all.

“Owen… About Princess Ayril…”

“Are you curious?”

“Yes. Aren’t you, too?”

“I am. I told you this exchange diary is paired with the princess’s own journal. Reading that one gives a different impression of her. But I think this one—this exchange diary—is where her real thoughts are. This is the true her.”

“She seems so different?”

“Yes. The other diary is more… formal. She writes like a proper princess. It’s all very composed, like she’s just reporting what happened at the castle.”

Lilia looked back down at the page.
In the diary, it was finally mentioned that the princess’s marriage had been arranged.
Her fiancé was a certain knight. Though the princess was known for her beauty, people often described her as cold.
After Lindel left the castle—he was the only one she ever truly opened up to—she became withdrawn. She stopped smiling, stopped speaking.

Because of that, no one suspected that she had been the one who wrote “cheater” on the king’s underwear.
So, she hadn’t been scolded. That’s what the diary said.

“I hope the marriage works out and the princess can be happy…”

“She really didn’t hold back about her father, huh? She keeps calling him a cheater, less than human, a beast ruled by lust, disgusting, a worthless man… and there are some phrases I can’t even read. Might be slang from back then.”

“Slang?”

“Yeah… rude or vulgar language. Stuff I shouldn’t say in front of you.”

“Do you know that kind of language, Owen?”

“From my wandering days, yes. I got into all sorts of trouble.”

“Those two years you were drifting around?”
“I wasn’t exactly well-behaved.”

“I can’t imagine it.”

Looking at the Owen in front of her now, it was hard to believe.
He gave a sheepish smile and said, “I wasn’t in a good place. I blamed my pain on the circumstances I was born into.”

“That’s how I felt too. I used to think I was worthless because of where I came from.”

“You have every right to be angry.”

“There’s no one for me to be angry at.”

“Maybe at your father. Or your mother.”

“…Like the princess?”

“Exactly.”

Lilia gently closed the book. She placed it carefully on the bedside table, then returned to Owen and gripped his hand tightly.
Owen’s eyes widened slightly when he felt her hand trembling. He gave her a reassuring squeeze.

Lilia took a deep breath.

“Mother, you idiot. I know you were unhappy… but I still wish you had taken me with you. I hate Father. I’m grateful that he raised me, but every time he said I owed him for it, my heart just froze.”

She took another deep breath and let it out in a long sigh.

“…That’s the first time I’ve ever said that out loud.”

“Keep going. It’s okay to be angry. You’re still just as beautiful when you’re angry. Even if they’re your parents—even if you owe them something—you deserve to be free in your heart. Lilia, if you ever feel unhappy with me, say it clearly.”

“…Yes. You too, Owen. Don’t hold back either.”

“There’s no way I’d be unhappy with you… Actually, no. There is something.”

“What is it…?”

“You’re so lovely and delicate and dignified and beautiful. Just being near you sends my heart into a whirlwind.”

Lilia was about to say how embarrassed those kinds of words made her feel.
But she couldn’t get the words out—Owen leaned over and kissed her gently on the forehead.

“Let’s sleep now… It’s fine if we sleep separately.”

“I want to sleep together. If you don’t mind, Owen, I’d like that very much.”

“Of course. Good night, Lilia. Sweet dreams.”

“Yes… Good night, Owen. Sleep well.”

Owen wrapped his arms around her.

His long fingers stroked her hair, as if handling something precious.
Lilia lowered her eyes.
And soon, she drifted peacefully into sleep.