My Sun and Your Star - Episode 1

I’ve thought about dying, more than a few times.

I’d skip class and go to the rooftop, pretending to jump. Being spineless, I could never muster the resolve, and I’d end up just skipping class up there instead.

The sky was cruelly beautiful.

Not a cloud in sight.

I felt something close to jealousy towards that sky.

I wish it were more overcast…

Living is such a pain. I wonder when I started feeling like this.

I, Zora Takizawa, am a second-year high school student, going to school today like always. If you asked if I have any particularly good qualities, I’d say no. The only thing I can praise myself for is being somewhat good at studying.

A new term started, and my class changed, along with the classroom. Since the classroom moved up one floor, the schoolyard seen from the window looks farther away. Before, it was too close, and the noise from P.E. classes was annoying during lessons, so this new distance is just right.

One thing that hasn’t changed is that I’m in the same class as Mai Sato, who I became friends with back in my first year.

During lunch break, Mai came over with her usual high energy and started talking to me.

“Zora, you skipped first period again, didn’t you? Where’d you go? I wanna skip with you next time!”

She says things like that lightly. She always puts her long hair up in a bun on top of her head. She looks cheerful, and I think her personality is brash and she’s a bit of a follower. She seems like the type who’d skip class even without me.

“Just… wasn’t feeling well, so I rested,” I said, thinking it was a hassle, but choosing words that wouldn’t make her feel bad.

“You’ve been skipping a lot since first year, so I thought that might be the case today.”

It’s true, I’ve had many days where I skip class since first year. The reason is simple: I go to the rooftop when I feel like I might be able to jump.

I’ve never told anyone about these feelings.

The reason I don’t get scolded by the teachers even when I skip class is that I have the best grades in my grade.

Once, because of my good grades, some jealous people bullied me.

“Takizawa-san, aren’t you kinda full of yourself? Everyone else is seriously attending class, but you just waltz back in. What’s your deal?”

“Maybe she’s meeting someone! You’ve got that face that looks like you’d be into forbidden love with a teacher or something, don’t you think?”

“I know, right! She looks quiet but probably gets around with guys.”

Looking back now, I think it was just them taking their frustrations out on me. About three of them had me cornered. They were probably in the same grade, and since they knew I skipped class, maybe they were even in my class.

I wasn’t interested at all; I just wanted this time to be over as soon as possible.

“Hey, say something! What, not denying it? Maybe it’s true. If we told the teachers, you might even get expelled.”

I could hear their gleeful, cackling voices.
Honestly, what a pain. I was used to silently waiting for storms to pass, but above all, I just wanted this situation to end quickly.

“—What are you all doing?”

A voice I’d never heard before reached my ears. I looked up towards the sound and saw it was Hina Endo, a girl in the same grade.

Why does someone with no interest in people like me remember her? Because Endo-san is famous in our grade for being beautiful. Once, when Mai and I passed by her, Mai whispered and told me about her.

Even for someone uninterested in people like me, she was so pretty I couldn’t forget her after just one glance.

Long, light brown hair that just barely didn’t break school rules, well-shaped eyebrows, beautiful double eyelids, eyelashes so long you’d think snow could settle on them, a high nose bridge, and well-defined lips that were neither too thin nor too thick.

She had features so perfect it was like she’d stepped out of the pages of a book.

But now wasn’t the time to be thinking about that. If someone that famous got involved, even I would probably find it hard to stay at this school.

Just as I was thinking This is trouble… and wanted to hold my head in my hands, something happened that made me want to do so even more.

“Don’t be so mean to my friend.”

…Huh?
My head was already struggling to keep up with this situation, and now I was being left even further behind.

The next moment, my arm was grabbed, and I was pulled away from the spot. Swept along by her momentum, I couldn’t say anything as we left. The faces of the girls who had surrounded me looked slightly pale, I thought.

I didn’t care about them, but I couldn’t make sense of this situation.

“Um…”

I tried to speak, careful not to let my confusion show.

“Ah, sorry. Did that hurt?”

The grip on my arm released, freeing the pressured area. I wanted to ask why she helped me, but an awkward atmosphere had settled, making it hard to speak.

“—You’re Takizawa-san, right?”

Hearing her call me by my last name made my heart jump. Why had the famous Endo-san witnessed me being bullied, helped me, and now was calling me by name?

“You probably don’t remember…”

Don’t remember…?

Was she mistaking me for someone else? But she definitely said my surname. Well, there are probably other Takizawa’s in the school... Just as I was thinking that, Endo-san spoke in a slightly lower tone.

“Ugh, people who do things like that are the worst! I couldn’t just watch, so I ended up speaking up. Sorry? Guess I stuck my nose where it didn’t belong.”

I shook my head side to side and just said, “It’s fine.” I have a habit of listening without looking at people’s faces, so I answered while looking down.

Seeing me like that, she closed the distance between us sharply and peered at my face, asking, “Really?”

Thinking that my attitude wasn’t good, especially since she had helped me, I looked up. I figured I should at least thank her properly, even if I wasn’t sure I could do it well.

“Thank you…”

The words died in my throat as I looked at her. Seeing her made me lose my voice.

Her light brown hair, almost too bright under the sunlight, her healthy skin tone, her eyes were brown and a very beautiful shade. Her lips had a pink lip balm on, maybe she was wearing a little makeup.

Her uniform was the regulation blouse with a red tie. It was also loosened just enough to barely not break the rules, and the top button was undone. A slightly short navy blue skirt, specified white socks, and black shoes.

Seeing her up close like this, I was amazed anew at how incredible she was in various ways. Seeing my expression, she said with a slightly sad face, “You don’t have to look so scared…”

She then gave me a smile, said “Well then,” and left.

“—Thank you.”

My voice was swallowed up by the usual school noise.

Remembering that, Mai’s voice brought me back to reality.

“Hey, hey. Wanna go get parfaits after school?”

She proudly shoved her smartphone screen right in front of my face. I moved my head back a bit from the overly close phone to look at the screen.

“It’s a cafe famous for how photogenic it is! The coloring, the decorations, everything from start to finish is cute and pretty.”

Mai was showing it to me, looking really happy, but I had no interest and didn’t know what kind of face I should make.

I’m really grateful to Mai. She’s always by my side, even though I have no great qualities.

The reason we became friends was probably because I happened to sit next to her, and she asked to see my homework, so I showed her.

It’s not so much that she became friends with me specifically, but more that we just became friends because our seats were close. She would have become friends with anyone else in that seat. But since then, she’s really taken a liking to me.

But, since I don’t find anything fun, I rarely get interested in the things she wants to do.

“Sorry, I’m not feeling too well today,” I ended up lying.

“Ah, right, sorry. I’ll ask again another time!”

Mai is a kind girl. Probably, she’s really sad inside and really wanted to go. But she doesn’t show that and still treats me kindly.

Sometimes I think if I weren’t like this, maybe I could have been better friends with Mai. She invites me to go shopping or get food, and I do go, but I have no interest and always just zone out.

In the end, I got sick of being in the classroom and spent the afternoon classes on the rooftop too.