My Sun and Your Star (GL) - Episode 9

Being at home feels suffocating today, too.

The people I live with go about their lives as if avoiding me. I wonder when the last time was that I ate a meal my mother made.

Ever since my parents lost interest in me, all I receive is a monthly allowance—just enough to get by—and the right to live in the house.

We never eat meals together.

If I try to cook in the kitchen, I just get in the family’s way, so I basically buy my meals. I do my laundry and take baths by carefully timing when no one else needs to use anything.

Right now, I have nothing to do, so I put on a heavy coat, wrapped a scarf around my neck, and went out.

It was more comfortable to sit blankly on a bench in the nearby park, even though it was cold, than to be in that stifling house.

The park near my house is a hidden gem; not many people go there.

For me, it’s the perfect spot.

However, today there was someone else at my perfect spot.

Thinking this was rare, I figured I had no choice but to give up and go home. But then I noticed the girl sitting on my usual bench was dressed far too lightly for the middle of winter. On top of that, today was bitterly cold, with snow threatening to fall at any moment.

Drawn towards her, I got closer and saw that her face was deathly pale—so much so that it was noticeable even from a slight distance. She looked like she could die right there.

If it got out that someone had died there the next day, in my favorite spot, it would undoubtedly become a much less comfortable place for me.

Wanting to avoid that, I spoke to her.

“Um, that’s my regular spot, you know…”

Even I thought it was an shockingly cold thing to say. But I couldn’t find any other words, and that’s what came out.

She started and looked up at me.

A single tear traced a path down her cheek, followed by a stream of others.

Had my words been too cold, causing this? I regretted speaking. But I couldn’t just leave her like that, so I searched my belongings for something, anything, to help.

However, I had only come to the park to kill time aimlessly, so I had nothing with me. The only thing suitable for wiping tears was my handkerchief.

I handed her the handkerchief from my pocket. It was a handkerchief I always carried with me. My sister had worked hard to make it for me back when we were still on good terms.

A part of me still couldn’t let go of the memories from that time.

But holding onto it wasn’t going to change my current situation; it was meaningless. Perhaps it was better to give it away to a stranger and forget the memory along with it.

After giving her the handkerchief, I felt embarrassed, so I decided to leave.

“You can keep it, I don’t need it.”

Why had she been crying? Was it my fault? Muttering these questions to myself, I headed home.

A shrill, grating sound reverberated in my head, irritating me. Even if I ignored it, it kept ringing.

I turned off the annoying alarm and sat up.

A dream from my middle school years.

I’d forgotten about it because nothing particularly memorable had happened, but it was true—I had given a handkerchief to Endo-san. How typical of me to not even remember something I did myself.

The image of Endo-san from back in middle school is quite different from how she is now, so I never made the connection. But whether I had met her back then or not, my current situation wouldn’t change.

Midterm exams are approaching, so today, too, I’ll spend just another ordinary day.

I hope I can have a peaceful day.