New Normal - Chapter 58

“Mom… why did Dad leave us?”

When I asked that as a kid, the look on my mom’s face was… hard to explain. Now that Jisoo was older than her mom had been back then, she could see it clearly—it was the face of someone who’d been hurt.

“Your dad didn’t leave you, Jisoo. He loves you.”

Even though Jisoo could still remember the sound of her parents fighting almost every day, she pretended she didn’t. Wanting confirmation, she asked again and again.

“If he loves me, then why isn’t he home? Why am I living at Grandma’s house?”

“Your dad’s busy. Just… we decided you’d stay apart while he’s busy.”

Her mom would say that, pat her head, and then go into her room.

“Mom, I love Dad… does Dad love me too?”

When Jisoo followed her in and asked that, her mom’s eyes turned sad.

“Of course.”

“Do you love Dad too?”

“…Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

“How did you fall in love with Dad?”

“Well… let’s see. Your dad… he used to wear these black-rimmed glasses, and a perfectly tailored Burberry coat. He always carried a notebook and a pen—said it was a fountain pen his father had passed down to him. I thought that was so cool. I fell for him at first sight.”

A kind man who called her by her name, “Mikyung,” instead of “Miss Shin” like everyone else. A romantic who played guitar and sang for her. Someone who whispered love endlessly, making her forget about her tiring reality.

But for someone like that, more than ten years of silence was far too cold. Jisoo now had a pretty good idea of what her mom must have been thinking back then—

A man who threw a little money her way to ease his guilt. Someone who, deep down, knew how much of a coward he was but still wanted to believe he had done his part.

“Are you Jisoo? Nice to finally meet you.”

When her dad reached out to meet her in her first year of high school, Jisoo’s heart had dropped to the floor.

At home, “Dad” had always been a forbidden word, but she’d still quietly longed for the man whose face had become blurry in her memory.

Maybe if she had been better behaved, he would have been happy to live with them? Maybe he left because she and her mom leaned on him too much?

She never showed it because she didn’t want to hurt her mom, but through her teen years, Jisoo’s head had been full of self-blame and resentment toward someone she couldn’t even name.

When she finally met him at a café far from home, the tears just came on their own. She was happy to see him… but at the same time, the question burned—why did you leave me?

With that messy mix of rejection, joy, anger, and longing swirling inside her, she took a bite of the parfait he’d bought her. It was so sweet, it made her feel sick.

When he told her he’d been keeping in touch with her mom all this time, she didn’t feel betrayed. Instead, she was glad—glad he’d been thinking about them.

When he said, I’m sorry it took me so long, but I’d like us to stay in touch from now on, it didn’t sound cowardly. It just felt like relief—he hadn’t forgotten her.

Through him, she learned for the first time the full story with her mom. It was a tragedy. And when she later heard her mom’s version as an adult, it was like one of those old melodramas—predictable but still painful.

A poor young woman who’d just graduated from a vocational high school and got a job as an office assistant at a newspaper. An elite reporter who fell for her at first sight.

For the woman, who had wanted to explore the world but chose a stable life, his passionate courtship was an irresistible temptation. His parents strongly opposed the relationship—so much that he even tried to take his own life. That’s how they ended up marrying.

Even so, it took over a year after Jisoo was born before they could even register the marriage, thanks to his mother’s fierce opposition. And what came after was hellish in-law life.

When the heat of love faded, all that was left was the suffocating, tedious everyday. The man who had once loved her mom so desperately… found someone else to love even more. A woman worth throwing away everything for.

Lost in these bitter thoughts, Jisoo’s ears caught on a song lyric—

Even in the windy fields, we’re not lonely… just the touch of our hands is enough…

The music didn’t comfort her anymore. Her mind kept going back to what he’d said on the phone earlier. It always happened after she talked to him—this lingering bitter taste in her mouth.

—”Jisoo… this might sound like I’m butting in, but I just hope you won’t let your emotions control you. I hope you make a choice you won’t regret. And… I hope that’s the reason I was able to help you. You know what I mean, right?”

Don’t be swayed by emotions. Make a choice you won’t regret. I hope that’s why I helped you.

Instead of the song lyrics, his words repeated in her ears like an echo. What did he mean? Was this about Jin Jung-eun? Was she saying something about me quitting?

…Am I doing something wrong again?

It felt like he was assuming she was bound to repeat her parents’ mistakes. Her vision suddenly blurred. Startled, she wiped her eyes. Her fingertips were cold and damp. She sighed quietly, rolled over, but found no answer.

Love was irresponsible, and the wounds it left ran deep. That’s why she both longed for it and feared it. The fear she didn’t want to admit to herself now loomed clearly in front of her.

The only reason her mind finally quieted was because the music stopped playing. Jisoo slowly opened her eyes and looked at her phone screen.

[Chae Juwon: Are you feeling better?]
[Chae Juwon: Are you asleep?]

She stared at the screen for a few seconds, then typed back slowly.

[Shin Jisoo: No, I’m not asleep.]
[Shin Jisoo: I’m feeling better now.]

The “1” next to her messages disappeared quickly, and a reply came.

[Chae Juwon: Then can you come down for a minute?]
[Chae Juwon: I’m in the parking lot.]

***

Her old, worn sweats—her go-to pajamas—looked a little grimy. While straightening her clothes, she caught her reflection in the elevator mirror.

Even after washing her face several times, her puffy eyes and redness still showed. She rubbed her eyes quickly.

Stepping through the glass door to the underground parking lot, she saw Juwon leaning against his car with the engine still running, arms crossed, staring at the ground.

Dressed in a comfy sweatshirt and track pants, a cap pulled low over his face, he looked like he’d just stepped out from home. When he noticed her, he lifted his head. Under the brim, his dark brown eyes caught the light.

“You came?”

She smiled automatically, but his eyes carried worry. She forced a small smile back.

When she got closer, he closed the distance in a few long strides and pulled her into his arms.

His warm body heat wrapped around her, along with his familiar clean scent. With one hand, he ran down from her head to her back in a slow stroke. She felt her whole body loosen, a comfortable warmth seeping in.

“Your fever’s gone down?”

Still holding her, he tilted his head to look at her. She didn’t want him to see her messy face this close, so she buried her face in his chest.

“Yes,” she murmured, pushing at him slightly. But he didn’t let go—if anything, he held her tighter. In the end, Jisoo wrapped her arms around his waist.

“You’ll catch my cold.”

She mumbled a weak protest. He asked in a worried tone—

“How’d you get sick?”

“…I don’t know. Maybe because of you.”

“Because I keep taking your clothes off?”

A small laugh escaped her. With her face still against his chest, she nodded. Juwon tightened his arms once more before finally letting her go.

The sudden loss of warmth made her look up. Their eyes met—his dark brown gaze, once full of concern, suddenly hardened.

“You’ve been crying?”

She looked at him for a moment, then nodded.

“Why? Because you’re sick?”

“Yes. Because I’m sick.”

Her voice cracked, and he frowned. Without a word, he grabbed her hand and, with his other hand, stroked her face gently.

After softly brushing her eyelids and cheeks for a while, he suddenly pulled a bottle of Tylenol from his pocket. Jisoo blinked.

“What’s that?”

“You said you’re sick. I bought it for you.”