"No Marriage, Please! vs. Marry Me or Die: The Ultimate Love Showdown" - Episode 32

Yuri: “So, what’s your name?”

Alice: “Can you maybe put me down first?”

Yuri: “Ah! I completely forgot! Hahaha!”

Alice: Right.”

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Alice—the genius researcher. She was another of the heroines destined to join Theo’s party.

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Yuri: “I’m Yuri. An adventurer.”

Alice: “Hmm, I see. What’s your rank?”

Yuri: “Still just an F-rank rookie.”

Alice: “I see.”

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With that, Alice began patting and prodding my body.

Alice: “Your physical stats look good. Musculature’s well developed. And… hmm. You’re hiding something from me, aren’t you?”

Yuri: “Eh…? N-No, not at all.”

Alice: “Don’t tell me you’re an assassin sent after me? Oh no—somebody help~!”

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Alright, maybe it’s time to reveal a little.

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Yuri: “I’m no assassin. But… you are a pretty famous researcher, Alice. Even I’ve heard of you, and I don’t even live around here.”

Alice: “Fufu! So you do know your stuff, Yuri. Good, good.”

Yuri: “You can improve magic formulas and magic tools, right? You’re a genius, after all.”

Alice: “Haha! That kind of thing’s as easy as breathing to me! A total no-brainer! Don’t tell me… do you want the incredible, ultra-genius me to help you?”

Yuri: “Yeah. My magic’s… a bit unusual.”

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I clashed two opposing dark-element spells in my hands, generating light-element magic power. Upon seeing this, Alice’s expression turned serious.

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Alice: “Light element… A very rare attribute. But… there was something off about the magical formula you used.”

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Her eyes shimmered with an otherworldly brilliance, like prismatic light swirling behind glass. Alice possessed a Magic Eye—a special ability that allowed her to perceive and analyze magical formulas directly.

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Yuri: “Impressive. You noticed.”

Alice: “…Your natural magic attribute is darkness, right? But what manifested was light. Could it be… No, to realize that theory, you’d need immense magical computation capacity… Wait—you’re generating

pseudo-light by colliding two dark elements?”

Yuri: “Correct. Nailed it.”

Alice: “Ugh…”

Yuri: “…Ugh?”

Alice: “UOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! This is… this is revolutionary! Attribute fusion theory in modern magic research is still in its infancy! There is a paper theorizing that combining dark attributes could produce light—of course, I wrote it! But to actually manifest it would require incomprehensible levels of processing power and formula control! And yet… Yuri, you’ve done it…!”

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Her excitement was over the top, but I couldn’t blame her. For a magic researcher, that’s the natural reaction.

I revealed this to her because I wanted her to help refine the spell. The time limit during my last battle was a serious drawback.

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Yuri: “Let’s keep this off the record. If this kind of magic gets leaked, it’d be a disaster.”

Alice: “Hah…! Of course! This is a historic discovery! Yuri, as of now, I formally invite you to my lab!”

Yuri: “It’s already late…”

Alice: “No matter! This is us, remember? Hahaha!”

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Alice clung to my arm and looked up at me with a disturbingly close, almost romantic gaze. Her eyes screamed: I’m not letting this one get away.

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Alice: “Hehe. Come on then, my new research subject—Darling!”

Yuri: “Please drop the ‘Darling.’ I’ve got my reasons for avoiding romantic relationships…”

Alice: “Romance? Hahaha! I’ve got zero interest in that nonsense. Love is just a genetic bug for reproductive purposes. Totally inefficient. That was just a little joke!”

Yuri: “Whew. That’s a relief.”

Alice: “What’s this? Did I charm you more than you expected?”

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She leaned in and pressed her chest against my arm, grinning mischievously. Not too big, not too small—just the right size to leave an impression.

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Yuri: “…Seriously, cut it out.”

Alice: “Hahaha! Another brilliant scientist joke!”

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As I finally freed myself from Alice, I felt something—an eerie sensation crawling up the back of my neck. I turned around instinctively.

But no one was there.

No one… right?

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Alice: “Hm? What’s wrong, Yuri?”

Yuri: “…It’s nothing.”

Alice: “Anyway! Let’s go, shall we? Hehe. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night, Darling~”

Yuri: “I told you, cut it out with that joke.”

Alice: “Yuri, you’re way too much fun to tease.”

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And so, before I knew it, I found myself heading to Alice’s lab.

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The waterborne city of Ordina was also a hub of magical research, home to the world’s most prestigious institution: Ordiana Magic University.

Located in the city’s northern sector, it was a towering sanctuary of magic, revered by mages around the world.

The main campus consisted of hexagonal towers made from alabaster and sapphire crystal.

In the quietest, most remote section of the northern wing, there was a single, small research lab—originally a renovated crystal greenhouse. That was Alice’s domain.

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Her specialties were Illusion Magic and Color Theory in Magic. Her talent was unmistakable. She’d earned her doctorate two years ago—at the youngest age on record. That much I knew from the original story.

But how she actually lived day to day—that had never been shown.

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Alice: “Here it is. My lab.”

Yuri: “…Huh.”

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The door to her small lab, tucked away in a forgotten corner of the research wing, was plastered with warnings: “ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK,” “FREQUENT HALLUCINATIONS,” “BEWARE OF EXPLOSIONS.”

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Alice: “Ahh, people keep slapping those on. Jealous of my brilliance, no doubt! Just proof of genius, really!”

Yuri: “I’ll take them down.”

Alice: “Huh? You don’t have to.”

Yuri: “No—it’s better if I do.”

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A hidden lab, tucked away in isolation, branded with caution signs. It was clear how Alice was being treated. I peeled the notices off and crumpled them. I had just met her, but it left a bitter taste.

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Alice: “Well, I don’t usually get guests, so… Ah! But I made a chair during an experiment once. It still works. Feel free to use it. It might scream now and then—don’t mind that. It still functions perfectly as a chair.

I’ll make us coffee. You want some?”

Yuri: “Sure. Thanks.”

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As soon as I entered, I was overwhelmed by the chaos. Glittering magical crystals spilled off shelves, fragments scattered across the floor, and stacks of papers scribbled with half-finished magic circles were piled high.

On the desk were rainbow-colored test tubes, devices resembling synthetic Magic Eyes, unclassified ancient grimoires, and a half-finished cup of coffee.

Lanterns dangled from the ceiling, floating gently, casting shifting shadows on the walls.

One wall was covered in diagrams of Magic Eye structures and illusion graphs, and scrawled in red-black ink beside them were notes like:

• Was this all a dream?

• What is consciousness?

• What lies at the heart of magic?
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It was total disarray, yet somehow… it felt like a system built just for her. I didn’t dislike the atmosphere. In fact, I kind of liked it.

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Alice: “Here. It’s black—hope that’s okay?”

Yuri: “Perfect.”

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I took a sip. The flavor was richer than I’d expected, and I must’ve shown my surprise, because Alice grinned smugly.

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Alice: “Hehe. Good, isn’t it?”

Yuri: “Yeah. I’m impressed.”

Alice: “Coffee boosts thinking speed. I take its selection very seriously. Caffeine efficacy has been scientifically proven, after all! The only downside is that it makes you need the bathroom more often. Hahaha!”

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She sipped her own coffee, then suddenly said something outrageous.

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Alice: “Well then—first, I’ll need to strip.”

Yuri: “…What?”

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Without hesitation, Alice began undressing. She quickly pulled off her outerwear, and suddenly—her chest was right there in my field of view. Soft curves, undeniably feminine.

Wait. What the hell is happening—!?