Reasonable Loss - 1

Chapter 1: The Beginning of Loss

The whole world was getting ready for spring. New life was sprouting through the frozen ground. The winter wind that used to scratch at cheeks carried a faint scent of flowers now. People’s faces brightened along with their lighter clothes.

It was the kind of weather that made you feel good just by standing still and enjoying the breeze.

Eunsu stood in front of the officetel main gate. There were still fifteen minutes until the appointed time, but the person he was waiting for would probably arrive in less than five. He always came ten minutes early. I had come out fifteen minutes early to match that.

Eunsu lifted his heel and then lowered it as he stared up at the street tree. The branches had no leaves yet, but for some reason he kept looking at them. In about a month, the cherry blossoms would be in full bloom.

It would be pretty. The soft petals would sparkle in the most beautiful way.

Eunsu lightly touched his belly. By then, the thing inside would have grown as big as one of those buds. No, to get that big, it would take skipping through one or two seasons.

Still, he hoped it would grow fast.

It was then, as Eunsu wrinkled his nose and let a faint smile show. A sleek luxury sedan stopped by the roadside. It was a familiar car.

Eunsu smiled brightly and walked toward the car, but before he could get there, the person in the driver’s seat got out in a rush.

“Eunsu. Why are you out here already.”

It was Dokwon. Eunsu’s alpha, and also the father of the small life budding inside.

He took off the coat he was wearing and quickly wrapped it around Eunsu. Dokwon’s scent, the sweet pheromones unique to an alpha, enveloped Eunsu completely. Eunsu took a deep breath and welcomed him.

“You’re here?”

“It’s cold, and you didn’t even wear a scarf….”

Dokwon clicked his tongue as if he was really displeased. While doing so, he buttoned the coat tightly. Eunsu grabbed that hand and buried his cheek in it.

“It’s spring. I don’t need a scarf.”

“You still have to be careful. You’re pregnant.”

Dokwon gently rubbed Eunsu’s cheek. Then he gave short kisses to the tip of his nose, his jaw, and his lips.

At the ticklish kisses and the excessive worry, Eunsu laughed without a sound. It wasn’t like I had gone out in short sleeves. I had put on a thick knit and even the coat, and stood there for just five minutes. It was too much worry.

“I’m fine, really.”

“….Let’s go quickly.”

Dokwon seemed like he wanted to say more, but he held it back nicely. Instead, he took Eunsu’s hand and quickly led him to the car. He opened the door, helped Eunsu sit, and fastened the seatbelt tightly. He didn’t forget to pull on the belt a few times to check it.

Dokwon walked halfway around the car and got into the driver’s seat. Then he turned off the hazard lights and started the car.

“Aren’t you cold? Should I turn up the heater more?”

Dokwon asked as he turned the steering wheel. Eunsu answered flatly, “I’m fine,” and turned his gaze to the window. The buildings were moving by quickly.

Today was the day to go to the OB-GYN. It was the second visit since getting pregnant, so there was more tension than excitement. I had eaten well, slept well, and there were no problems with my body, but I didn’t know why it felt so scary.

Eunsu clenched his fist and then opened it, trying to ease the tension. Then a large, warm hand covered the fist. Eunsu looked at Dokwon. Dokwon, who had briefly taken his eyes off the road ahead, grinned. It was a silent comfort saying not to be nervous.

Dokwon soon focused on driving again. Eunsu gazed at him steadily.

He felt it every time, but Dokwon was really handsome. From the flawless smooth skin to the gently arched eyebrows, the thick dark lashes, the moderately deep double eyelids, the straight nose bridge without a single bump like it was drawn with a ruler, the angular jawline like a man’s, and the lively lips.

When still, he had a cold impression, but in front of me, he always smiled warmly, so all I could feel was how handsome he was, to the point where my chest ached.

“It’s about the baby.”

“Yeah.”

“I hope it looks like you, Dokwon.”

Eunsu said as he softly closed his eyes. At those words, Dokwon’s thick eyebrows furrowed slightly. Just then, a red light came on, and he stepped hard on the brake. Then he fiddled with Eunsu’s hand gently.

“I don’t like that. It has to look like you. If it looks like me, I don’t think I’d feel attached.”

“Why. It would be super handsome.”

“My impression is dirty.”

At the sudden self-deprecation, Eunsu opened his eyes wide. Then he let out a chuckle.

“No. What’s dirty about your impression.”

“What if it’s a girl? No, um…. If it’s a girl, a dirty impression might be okay. There are so many crazy guys in the world. It needs to be dirty enough so they can’t even approach.”

“….”

“But what if it’s a girl that looks like you? That would be a big problem too. All sorts of random guys would stick to her.”

How would our daughter live with the exhaustion? It would be nice if Korea allowed gun ownership. It would be easy to just shoot them. Dokwon muttered with a serious expression.

At the silly talk that didn’t suit him but somehow did, Eunsu wore a faint smile. Dokwon, who was already thinking about buying a gun for a child not even born yet, was endlessly lovable.

Yeah, yeah.

Eunsu replied vaguely and patted his belly, when the light turned green. Dokwon started the car a beat late. Then he called Eunsu in his usual low voice.

“Eunsu.”

“Yes.”

“Us.”

“Yes.”

“Shall we get married?”

“….Yes?”

Eunsu’s jaw dropped open.

Marriage? Suddenly? Of course, it had been two years since we met, and I was pregnant, so I hadn’t not thought about it…. But I didn’t expect to hear it at this moment.

Eunsu fidgeted with his fingers busily. Of course he was happy. But since this situation was new, he couldn’t figure out how to react.

As Eunsu’s silence dragged on, Dokwon hurriedly added words.

“You’re pregnant, and our ages are right…. No, you’re young, but I’m already thirty-four. Uh…. Actually, that’s not the important thing, uh, yeah, I thought it would be good to get married quickly before your body gets uncomfortable.”

“….”

“Then when going to the OB-GYN, we wouldn’t need to make separate appointments to meet like this, and it would be easier for me to take care of you twenty-four hours. If you want to eat something or if something hurts, I’d have to be by your side anyway, right?”

“….”

“Well…. I can do that now too, but I want our relationship to be a bit more solid….”

Strength went into Dokwon’s hands gripping the steering wheel. Veins bulged on the back of his hand. His eyes stared ahead, but the focus was slightly off, and his ears were red as if someone had burned them with a lighter.

Eunsu stared at such a Dokwon. Feeling that gaze clearly, Dokwon chewed hard on the inside of his cheek. Then he tried to continue as if nothing was wrong.

“Actually, I was going to propose over the weekend, but the baby made me impatient.”

“….”

“I just, I just wanted to say it right now. Because right now feels too good. Because this moment feels unbelievable. Because I feel like I need to hold you tight by my side somehow to feel at ease.”

“….”

Eunsu pulled his hand out of Dokwon’s grip. Dokwon’s shoulders flinched. His face, which had turned ruddy, paled in an instant.

Eunsu quickly grabbed Dokwon’s hand again. Not with one hand like before, but with both hands, squeezing it hard. And he pressed his lips firmly to that hand and then let go.

Dokwon’s eyebrows arched up. His pale face quickly brightened again. Seeing that change, Eunsu laughed softly. And it was when he moved his lips.

Beeeep!

Suddenly, a sharp horn blast hit their ears. Not just Dokwon, but Eunsu also frowned. But the horn didn’t end with one.

Beep! Beeeep! Beep!

Horns blared from here and there. It wasn’t just pressing; it sounded like punching the horn with a fist.

Feeling something unusual, Dokwon scanned the surroundings. Then, beyond the car in front, he saw a huge dump truck charging toward them. No, when he spotted it, the car in front had already collided with the dump truck and was flattened.

But the dump truck didn’t stop. It rushed toward Dokwon and Eunsu with a screeching scrape of metal. Dokwon gritted his teeth and immediately reversed the car. But it collided with the car behind. Front, back, left, right—all cars. There was no way out.

“Eunsu.”

Dokwon looked at Eunsu.

“Dokwon.”

Eunsu also looked at Dokwon.