Reasonable Loss - 13

Sympathy welled up in the team members’ eyes. Eunsu gave a bitter smile. Not being able to ride in a car meant he couldn’t take his own, a taxi, or even a bus. It was understandable to feel sorry for him.

It was then, as the team members’ lips pursed with yet another worry. Suddenly, the air twisted awkwardly. People who had been exchanging morning greetings and preparing to start work all shut their mouths at once.

In the unusual atmosphere, Eunsu and the team members craned their necks and looked around. Then, spotting someone walking between the partitions, they straightened up like raw recruits under strict discipline.

“Eunsu— no, Team Leader Yoo.”

It was Myunghee. Dokwon’s mother and the chairwoman of Seongjin Group. She exuded the full aura of a chairwoman, dressed in a sleek suit and accompanied by a flock of secretaries.

Thanks to her, the employees couldn’t even breathe freely. They had been on edge thinking the director came in and out every day, but now even the chairwoman had appeared. There must be a demon haunting the 14th floor.

“Yes, Chairwoman.”

Eunsu quickly went and stood by her side.

“Can you come with me for a bit?”

“Yes.”

Eunsu followed her without a word. The team members gaped at Eunsu. Once the two were gone, they would probably gossip up a storm. He could roughly guess it would be something like the poor Team Leader Yoo suffering from in-law troubles.

Eunsu came to the top floor of the company. More precisely, to the chairwoman’s office on the top floor. It wasn’t his first time there. About three months into dating Dokwon, Myunghee had called him.

Back then, he had worried about all sorts of things. Would she splash water in his face asking who he thought he was to eye her precious son? Would she hand him a thick envelope of money and tell him to get out of the country? He had imagined something like a third-rate melodrama.

But it had been needless worry. Myunghee had looked at Eunsu like he was some fascinating alien or unicorn, then treated him even more preciously. She had said she never expected Dokwon to have a girlfriend, and to let her know if he needed anything or if Dokwon ever hurt his feelings.

After that, she visited occasionally. They would have tea and chat about trivial things. Seeing the neatly arranged tea and snacks on the table, it seemed today would be no different.

“Darling. I told you to rest more. Why on earth did you come to work?”

Myunghee said, furrowing her sharply arched eyebrows deeply. Eunsu picked up a cookie coated in chocolate and pouted his lips.

“I’m fine. My body’s all better, and there’s a backlog of work… Plus, I have no vacation left.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. Did you take vacation just to rest? It’s because of the accident, so you can take more time off.”

“I’m really fine, Mother.”

Eunsu chewed on the cookie. He had battled it out on the subway all morning, so his bl00d sugar had dropped. The sweet cookie couldn’t have been more welcome. He didn’t have the habit of eating breakfast, but apparently, he was pregnant.

Eunsu took a sip of tea and immediately picked up another cookie. At the sight, Myunghee shifted in her seat.

“Didn’t you eat breakfast? How about I order some hot soup? No, there’s a good galbitang place in the nearby alley. They do breakfast too, I think. Want to go there?”

“I had porridge for breakfast. If you tell me the location of the galbitang place, I’ll go there for lunch with the team today.”

Eunsu smiled and refused her kindness. After that, a brief silence flowed. Myunghee’s lips, painted with bright red lipstick, twitched. But no words came out.

Seeing that, Eunsu gently opened the conversation first.

“Did you call me here to scold me for coming to work?”

“No. It’s not that…”

“Then what?”

Eunsu picked up another cookie. It was delicious. He should ask the secretary what kind it was on the way out. It was while he was thinking that. Myunghee hesitated and mentioned a name.

“Dokwon…”

“Yes.”

“He’s being discharged today.”

“…Yes?”

Eunsu dropped the cookie with a clunk.

His eyes blinked rapidly. Discharged? Already? Why? He hadn’t heard anything like that yesterday…, he thought, then remembered how he had left the hospital room yesterday, and bit the inside of his cheek. It hadn’t been the situation to exchange words about discharge or anything, and Dokwon wouldn’t have told him himself.

While Eunsu was briefly lost in thought, Myunghee clicked her tongue.

“He says he hates the hospital. His body’s all better, but he hates feeling locked up.”

“Ah… That could… happen.”

“What do you mean ‘could happen’? What’s the point of his body being better. His brain is broken…”

“Mother.”

“Yeah, his head is broken. Isn’t it?”

“…”

“Anyway, that guy, I didn’t raise him spoiled, but he grew up spoiled anyway…”

Myunghee shook her head. Eunsu couldn’t affirm or deny, so he just wore an ambiguous smile.

Discharge could happen anytime. Dokwon was an adult, and he would have some grasp of his own condition. What worried Eunsu, though, was how to meet him now.

The hospital had been easy to visit on a whim, but his house was different.

Of course, he knew his house address. His fingerprint was even registered on the door lock. Still, going to the hospital and going to the house were completely different matters. It would really hurt to be turned away at the door.

They could meet at the company. But there were so many eyes. If the director’s visits to the 14th floor, which happened several times a day, suddenly stopped, bad rumors would surely spread. Plus, if he didn’t come looking for him, Eunsu’s reasons to meet him would dwindle to almost nothing.

Design team leader and director. It was an incredibly distant gap.

Eunsu blankly picked up a cookie and brought it to his mouth. The cookie that had been delicious just moments ago now felt thick and dry. It was so dry that it stuck in his throat.

* * *

After work, Eunsu’s phone hardly ever rang. If it did, it was only Dokwon. Even that was rare, since most days they were together. But today, as he lay down to sleep, his phone rang.

It was Secretary Jeong.

The moment he saw the caller ID, he had a bad feeling. And sure enough. Dokwon had been found collapsed at home. Eunsu rushed out of the house and caught a taxi again.

After telling the driver the destination, he buried his face between his knees. The rough engine noise, and the cars whizzing past the window, were scarier than a bl00d-soaked ghost.

Whenever a horn blared—honk—he bit his lip and held back the tears that leaked out drop by drop. It was already the second time. Riding a taxi because of Dokwon. He felt like Dokwon was deliberately doing this to help him get used to cars.

Eunsu arrived at the hospital room only after his back was soaked with cold sweat.

The hospital room, now as familiar as his own home, was crowded with people today as well. Through the gaps in the throng, he caught glimpses of Dokwon.

Dokwon was sitting on the sofa, not the bed. Contrary to expectations, he looked quite fine. His eyes were wide open, he was sitting up on his own, and there was no ventilator or bandages in sight.

Eunsu let out an “Ah…” of relief. At the same moment, Dokwon spotted him through the crowd and glared at Eunsu. It was definitely a glare.

Eunsu gasped in surprise at the cold, sharp gaze.

“Hey! Oh, Eunsu.”

Kiho spotted Eunsu. At his shout, the doctor and everyone else looked at Eunsu. But somehow, they all had dull, listless eyes. He hadn’t expected them to be happy to see him in this situation, but treating him like an unwelcome guest felt odd.

Eunsu unwittingly took a step back. Then, one doctor and Myunghee quickly came out of the room. They stood surrounding him, as if blocking him. Whether they meant to or not, that’s how Eunsu felt.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Why did Dokwon collapse suddenly?”

Eunsu wiped the cold sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and asked. At his words, Myunghee clamped her mouth shut, and the doctor fidgeted with his pursed lips.

“The patient says there are too many traces of Eunsu at his house.”

“…What?”

Eunsu asked back with a foolish expression. The doctor cleared his throat and spoke in a flat, robotic voice without inflection.

“It started as a mild headache, but it got worse, he got a nosebleed, and then he lost consciousness.”

“So… you’re saying that’s because of me?”

“More precisely, because of the traces of Eunsu. Seeing them probably made something try to resurface.”

“Then isn’t that good? It means he can recover his memories.”

“A mild headache would be fine. But fainting is a completely different matter.”

“What’s different about it?”

“If such intense pain repeats, avoidance behavior develops. He’ll develop fear toward things related to Eunsu. Naturally, he’ll want to avoid them and reject them. Recovering memories will slow down as well.”

Eunsu bit his lower lip. It was the moment he understood why Dokwon had glared at him like he wanted to kill him.

He had lived as an omega without ever knowing what pain was, what agony was, what fainting was. To go through that every day, and for the reason to be him—how could Dokwon not hate him?