Reasonable Loss - 24

Eunsu yanked Dokwon’s hand sharply. Then Dokwon’s gaze followed a half-beat late. Eunsu silently scolded him, wrinkling the bridge of his nose. Dokwon lifted his chin with an expression asking what that meant. Eunsu shook his head side to side and then looked at the pregnant woman with an awkward smile.

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no. Everyone stares like that.”

The pregnant woman waved her hand with a faint smile. Eunsu added that he still had a lot of things that felt new to him and apologized again. And as he tried to end the conversation, the pregnant woman twisted her body to sit properly and began looking at Eunsu and Dokwon in earnest.

“Who’s the pregnant one? Or are you both guardians?”

“Ah, me…….”

Eunsu raised his hand hesitantly, like an elementary school student called by the teacher. At that, the pregnant woman blinked her eyes quickly.

“Oh……. You’re an omega?”

“Yes.”

“Still early on?”

“Yes. Just approaching three months now.”

“Oh, oh, this is right when things get really dramatic. So that’s why your husband came along?”

The pregnant woman looked at Dokwon with warm eyes. In an instant, the strange jerk Dokwon became a tender husband.

“My husband doesn’t even come with me anymore, you know.”

She began a full conversation. Eunsu’s eyes widened round.

“Why, why doesn’t he come with you?”

“He’s lost interest. The baby doesn’t come out that fast, after all. Ten months is pretty long. The excitement that surged up when I first got pregnant doesn’t last all the way through.”

“Ah…….”

“So you have to make your husband keep coming along. Especially to the obstetrics and gynecology clinic. Waiting for the consultation here, all sorts of thoughts come up.”

“What kind of thoughts?”

“Just silly thoughts. Will the baby come out healthy. Will it have all its fingers and toes. Can I give birth well. Can I raise it well too. Things like that. Everyone has those thoughts, but when I have them, they don’t feel silly.”

“Ah…….”

“And on top of that, pregnancy makes the hormones go wild, so your mood swings this way and that. You get hurt and depressed over nothing, right? Even just seeing a falling leaf makes your heart flutter, and if some kid you don’t even know brushes past, tears come out.”

The pregnant woman made a gesture as if wiping tears with her hand. Eunsu and Dokwon’s eyebrows twisted into the shape of the character eight in response. Before they knew it, they were fully focused on her words.

The pregnant woman slowly stroked her plump belly and continued.

“Then when the belly gets as big as Namsan Mountain like this, moving is hard, the belly cramps, the back hurts, sleeping is tough, so you get even more depressed. But the husband snores away sleeping soundly right next to you. I’m worried I’ll file for divorce before even doing the birth registration after the baby’s born.”

She spoke on and on, then let out a long breath as if her swollen belly felt uncomfortable, and leaned obliquely against the sofa armrest. Then she gazed steadily at Dokwon and said in a warning tone.

“So husband, take good care of the pregnant one. If you don’t do it now, it’ll stay in her heart forever.”

Dokwon nodded his head. Eunsu nodded along too. At the sight of the two who somehow looked cute, the pregnant woman smiled faintly. That was when.

“Patient Seong Miyeon. Please come into the examination room.”

The nurse called the pregnant woman. She answered “Yes!” energetically.

“I’ll go now. See you next time.”

The pregnant woman let out a groan as she stood up. Eunsu and Dokwon bowed their heads slightly while seated. The two watched quietly as she waddled away.

After she disappeared into the examination room, Dokwon covered and gripped Eunsu’s hand.

“I’ll definitely come with you next time too. No, I’ll come with you every single one of the ten months.”

“Yes. It seems like you should.”

Eunsu smiled silently at Dokwon, who looked like a private with his discipline pulled tight. In truth, Eunsu was in a state of not worrying about anything at all. The Dokwon he knew was the type who would not stop fussing and worrying not just until the birth, but even after the baby was born.

But Dokwon did not know how to relax his stiff face. After thinking seriously about something for a long while, he said in a low voice.

“And…… I don’t snore.”

At that, Eunsu burst into loud laughter, then remembered this was a hospital and clamped his mouth shut with a gasp. Then he whispered softly to Dokwon.

“I know.”

After sleeping with you hundreds of times, how could I not know your sleeping habits.

The doctor said they would do an ultrasound today and guided them to the examination room. At the unexpected examination, Eunsu could not hide his tension. Last time, they had only done a routine consultation and left.

Lying on the bed, Eunsu chewed his lips slightly. His toes could not stay still and kept curling and uncurling restlessly. His fingers fidgeted, scratching at the bed sheet roughly.

It was just an examination, yet it felt as tense and scary as entering the operating room without anesthesia.

Dokwon, standing by the bed, looked at Eunsu whose face had paled blue. Then he asked the doctor who was preparing the examination.

“Does it hurt?”

“……What? The ultrasound?”

The doctor asked back with a somewhat twisted expression. It was the face of someone asking if he was really asking if the ultrasound hurt.

“It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt.”

Eunsu quickly answered in his place. The question was Dokwon’s, but why did he feel embarrassed.

“Please lift your clothes.”

At the doctor’s words, Eunsu fumbled to pull his clothes up. He thought it was a good thing he had worn a hoodie instead of a shirt.

“I’ll apply the gel. It’s cold.”

The doctor squirted the gel long before Eunsu could even respond. Eunsu, startled, let out a hiccup and grabbed Dokwon’s hand tightly beside him. Dokwon, startled in response, gripped his hand firmly back.

Dokwon glared at the doctor with sharp eyes.

“It doesn’t hurt even a little.”

The doctor ignored Dokwon’s anger indifferently. After that, he spread the gel with the ultrasound device and pressed firmly on the belly to the point of slight discomfort.

Then, unrecognizable shapes began scattering wildly on the monitor. He could not tell what was flesh, what was the uterus, what was the fetus—none of it.

Eunsu and Dokwon narrowed their eyes and tried to find the baby. Then the doctor tapped a small dot on the monitor with his finger.

“This is the fetus.”

Eunsu and Dokwon both twisted their heads with an ah? The doctor was pointing at a lump the size of a thumb. Even if it was a fetus, if it was human, it should have a human-like shape. What was that shriveled sea cucumber-looking thing.

The doctor, who had seen reactions like theirs countless times, explained the sea cucumber by dividing it into head, chest, and legs in a flat voice.

“The round part here is the head, the thing next to it is the body. The triangular protrusion is the legs. The arms are curled up, so they’re not visible well.”

“So…….”

“Small, right?”

“Yes.”

Eunsu nodded his head. At that, the doctor continued the explanation robot-like in a stream.

“Being small is normal. The fetus carried by an omega grows a bit slower than a general fetus. It evolved that way to pass the early stage smoothly, where the risk of miscarriage is high. Instead, once it enters the stable period, from the fifth month onward, it starts growing at a very fast pace.”

“…….”

“From then on, it’ll strain the body. The belly will hurt, the muscles will pull, the body will swell, the pheromones will be irregular, and so on. Compared to a general pregnant woman, the belly swells later, so it swells all at once later, and there’s no helping it. You have to manage it diligently too.”

Eunsu made a solemn face as if to say he would keep it in mind. It was information he had read while searching the internet, but hearing it like this felt new again. What could he say. It hit home much more. It made a sense of mission well up.

Anyway, it was a wondrous feeling.

“The alpha’s pheromones are important too. The omega’s pheromones will gradually become more irregular and wild, so have regular skinship, stay close often. The alpha’s pheromones provide stability and help with sudden mood swings. It can prevent depression too.”

The doctor said without taking his eyes off the monitor. He was not looking at Dokwon, but it was clearly directed at him. Dokwon nodded quickly as if to say he understood.

The doctor did not check Eunsu and Dokwon’s reactions or responses, just said what he had to say. It was a good thing his speech was slow; if it had been fast, it would have been hard to follow.

“Now at nine weeks, we can do the fetal anomaly scan too. Let’s do it now.”

At those words, Eunsu bolted up in shock.

“F-fetal anomaly? Why? Is there a problem with the baby?”

The doctor, startled by the sudden movement, widened his eyes. It was the biggest reaction since they met.

“N-no, you can’t get up. It’s something we all do. It’s to check if there’s any problem.”

“Ah…….”

Eunsu smiled awkwardly and lay back down. He was in no position to chide Dokwon for fussing.

“The scan results will be out at your next visit. We can tell the s3x now, and whether it’s alpha or omega at five months. Shall I tell you the s3x?”

At those words, Eunsu looked at Dokwon. s3x. He had not really thought about it, so the feeling was odd. Another emotion he had not felt until seeing the sea cucumber welled up. He became aware that there was truly a life inside his belly.

Dokwon looked at Eunsu too. After their gazes met for a moment, he

“Yes. Please tell us.”

answered. Eunsu readjusted his grip on Dokwon’s hand.

“It’s a girl.”

The doctor said dryly, as if reciting a lunch menu. No, even saying a lunch menu would not be that emotionless.

But for Dokwon and Eunsu, it was plenty moving. Daughter. That one syllable lodged deep in their chests. Their palms and soles tingled, then a shiver ran up their spines. Their eyes stinging was a bonus.

Daughter. A daughter. The fact that what he carried was a daughter. Eunsu felt like stamping his feet in place. He had not been this happy even when he first learned of the pregnancy. Now, his cheeks puffed up with joy.

He imagined a not-too-distant future when the child would call him ‘daddy’ in a clear voice. He did not know the face, did not know the voice, knew only that sea cucumber-like lump, and yet. It was sentimental.

Eunsu smiled broadly across his whole face. Dokwon gently stroked Eunsu’s hair.

Daughter. A daughter. When he imagined the child, he had unconsciously thought of a boy. There was no reason. Because both he and Eunsu were men. It was a stupid reason. But a girl— it felt both bewildering and exciting.