Reasonable Loss - 32

Dokwon stroked Eunsu’s warm cheek gently with the back of his hand. Eunsu ignored it, focused on scooping and breaking apart the crisply grilled potatoes with his spoon.

“Dokwon-ssi.”

Then suddenly, Eunsu called him.

“Yes.”

Dokwon answered while wiping a splatter of oil from Eunsu’s front with a tissue.

“Our daughter.”

“Yeah.”

“What should we name her for now?”

Dokwon’s hand stopped dead at the abrupt question. He looked at Eunsu with a puzzled expression. Pet name. A word he’d never uttered in his life. It was so unfamiliar that it was weird he’d understood it right away.

“Pet…. name, you mean?”

“Yeah. Everyone does it. Like Ssukssuk-i. Tteunttun-i. Kongkong-i. Banjjag-i. Bokdeong-i. Gippum-i. Stuff like that.”

Eunsu recited a string of fetal names he had seen on the internet. They were common ones, and because they were so common, they didn’t really tug at his heart. His own child should be special, shouldn’t it? Just like every parent naturally thinks.

“Just calling her ‘daughter’ or ‘baby’ like that feels a bit… boring, doesn’t it?”

Eunsu muttered to himself as he pressed the call bell stuck to the corner of the table. Soon a server appeared. Eunsu held up two fingers and ordered two portions of fried rice.

“Yeah, I guess so. Um… I’ve never really thought about it, so nothing’s coming to mind right away.”

Dokwon stroked his chin as he pondered. It was his own daughter, after all. He wanted to give her something truly delicate and lovely. It wasn’t her real name, but still, he’d have to call it for nearly ten months.

After a few seconds of thought, Dokwon lifted his eyebrows as if a good idea had struck him.

“Couldn’t we get a fetal name from a naming service? I should call Mom.”

“…Are you serious?”

Eunsu, who had been finishing off the remaining beef intestines, widened his eyes. The corners of his mouth twisted in a bizarre way. A fetal name… from a naming service? Was that even possible? Could something like that happen? Flustered, Eunsu stammered.

“Uh… I was just thinking… something like… sea cucumber….”

“…Sea cucumber? Sea cucumber? You mean that sea creature?”

This time Dokwon’s face crumpled in a bizarre way. Sea cucumber, of all things. Sea cucumber! It wasn’t ordinary, but it was too far from ordinary. Unaware of how shocked Dokwon was, Eunsu continued indifferently.

“Yeah. When we did the ultrasound earlier, it looked just like one.”

“….”

“Is that bad? Or… large intestine? But large intestine might be too plump. It was really tiny. Would beef intestine be better?”

“….”

Dokwon let out a long sigh through his nose. No, the problem wasn’t that large intestine was too plump. Just imagining the fetal name as large intestine or beef intestine made his head throb.

Just then, the fried rice arrived. While Eunsu was distracted by his food, Dokwon racked his brains with all his might. He had to come up with a good fetal name quickly. He couldn’t use sea cucumber or large intestine.

In that moment, a soft pink light seeped into Dokwon’s view. It was a cherry tree blooming by the roadside. Pale pink flowers were bursting open in profusion. Every time the spring breeze blew, dozens of petals fluttered and scattered.

It was truly quietly beautiful. It suited spring perfectly, and it matched his own heart, which had lately been filled with an indescribable fragrance.

Looking at it, Dokwon said softly.

“How about Spring?”

“Spring? That’s nice. But I like autumn more.”

Eunsu replied as he scooped up a full spoonful of fried rice. At that, Dokwon let out a chuckle that whistled like the wind.

“No, I mean for the fetal name. How about Bomi?”

“Oh… Bomi?”

“Yeah. Bomi.”

Dokwon nodded as he looked at the cherry blossoms. Eunsu turned his head to follow. The clear whites of his eyes filled up with pink flowers.

Eunsu mouthed the name silently.

Bomi. My daughter, Bomi.

He liked it. He hadn’t even tried saying it a few times, but it stuck right to his tongue. Especially when pronouncing ‘Bomi,’ the way the air rolled roundly over his tongue felt really good.

“That’s nice, Bomi.”

Eunsu smiled.

“Yeah, isn’t it, Bomi.”

Dokwon smiled in turn.

“Bomi. You’re Bomi now.”

Eunsu said as he tapped his lower belly. Then he took Dokwon’s hand and placed it on his own belly.

“Dokwon, you say hi too, quick.”

“….”

Dokwon licked his dry lips. Then he took a sip of water. That didn’t seem enough, so he cleared his throat with a cough. He looked just like a presenter bracing for a major presentation.

After fussing around like that for a while, Dokwon moved his lips with a somewhat flushed face.

“…Hi, Bomi.”

Eunsu pulled his chin in and widened his eyes in surprise. He had prepared himself so thoroughly, thinking it would be some grand greeting. But it was so plain it bordered on dull.

Dissatisfied, Eunsu wrinkled the bridge of his nose as he looked at Dokwon, intending to say something. But when he saw Dokwon’s face,

“….”

He couldn’t say a word. The awkwardly stiff corners of his mouth, but the eyes sparkling brilliantly, the cheeks lightly flushed with heat. From that, Eunsu could tell what kind of feelings Dokwon had right now.

Eunsu clasped his hand over Dokwon’s.

He thought how fortunate it was that this kind of person was his lover, that this kind of man was his child’s father.

* * *

Today was truly the first time in a long while that Dokwon was going to the office. He had studied a lot about economics and management for several weeks, and he judged that he was prepared enough now.

In fact, most of the people Dokwon met were business relations, and they didn’t exchange personal talk, so there was no way they would notice he had lost his memory. Still, just in case, he had prepared thoroughly.

He had examined the economic trends in detail, of course, along with the businesses currently in progress, contract statuses, and progress stages. He had also looked up meeting minutes and recorded meeting videos.

Dokwon was quite tense. He was more nervous than his first day at work long ago, when he had ridden on his parents’ reputation. Back then, it was all new. Whether business or contracts, he could create them in his own way. But now, he had to follow his own way that he didn’t know, which was no small annoyance.

To such a Dokwon, Eunsu, who watched from the side, also felt his nerves on edge.

Was that why? From morning, his stomach didn’t feel right at all. It felt like indigestion, or like a hangover. His insides churned as if he had swallowed oil. And the smells coming from everywhere—how strong they were.

Eunsu learned for the first time today that there were so many smells in the world.

It had started from the moment he opened his eyes in the morning. The blanket he always covered himself with to sleep—the smell of fabric softener felt intensely strong. It was as if someone had soaked it in perfume while he slept.

When he tried to drink water, the water smelled like disinfectant. You know, that smell from the swimming pool. It came from the water purifier. Thinking the purifier was broken, he poured bottled water. But that smelled the same too.

And when he opened the fridge to get the bottled water, he nearly threw up. The kimchi smell and egg smell made his nose sting. Because of that, he couldn’t even think of eating breakfast.

While showering, he nearly suffocated from the body wash smell and shampoo smell, and when applying lotion, the artificial scent made him dry-heave.

And on the subway… really… he smelled things he couldn’t even put into words.

He had never thought subway smells were good. It’s underground with no ventilation, packed tight with all sorts of people—if the smell was good, that would be stranger.

But today’s experience was a first. Usually in the morning, perfume, shampoo, fabric softener mix to make the nose tingle, but it’s bearable.

However, today even the subway’s characteristic musty iron smell stabbed his nostrils like needles. And the oily hair smell from the potbellied uncle. The smell from the bag full of unidentified things carried by the aunt. The humid body odor of young men mixed with cologne. Women’s cosmetics smells.

Eunsu had to pull himself together hard. Otherwise, he might roll his eyes and faint. Then he’d make the news.

-Around 8 a.m. today, a man in his 30s, ‘Mr. Yoo,’ fainted on his way to work in the subway. The ridiculous reason was the smell in the subway. The railway company investigated if some specific gas had leaked inside or if carbon dioxide levels were too high, but said there were no issues.

Recalling the announcer’s flat voice, Eunsu shuddered. Then he pressed his fingernails hard into his palm to hold back the smells.

But,

“Team Leader Yoo is here.”

“Good morning, Team Leader Yoo.”