Reasonable Loss - 9

He had somewhere to go.

* * *

The week right before the accident. It had been a peaceful, drowsy weekend. Eunsu lay sprawled on the carpet in Dokwon’s living room, looking at his laptop. It was Sunday, but he had to submit results by Monday, so he was reviewing them once more.

Dokwon hugged him from the side and rubbed his face against his nape. They’d promised early in their relationship not to work on days off, but Eunsu was a team leader and Dokwon a director, so it wasn’t that simple.

So now, he let it slide as long as it didn’t interfere too much with their time together. Of course, Dokwon would pout his lips each time and mumble that he’d fire everyone who gave Eunsu work, saying things that would make front-page news for abuse of power without a care.

But today, unusually, he waited quietly for Eunsu to finish. Eunsu had praised him for being good and promised a deep kiss as a generous reward once he was done.

That was when Eunsu was writing his last email. Dokwon gently stroked his waist and called him.

“Eunsu.”

“Yes.”

“Are you hurting anywhere by chance?”

“Huh? Me? No?”

The sudden question made Eunsu’s eyebrows twitch. He’d slept in late today, eaten delicious food, and his work was almost done. His condition couldn’t be better.

But Dokwon wouldn’t drop his unexplained worry. He buried his nose behind Eunsu’s ear and sniffed in a fidgety, overly serious way.

“Really? It feels a bit off, though…”

“What does?”

“Your scent’s a little different. Kind of like during heat cycle… But your heat was just a while ago, right? I can’t put it into words, but it’s not like usual.”

Eunsu sniffed his own wrist. But he couldn’t smell anything unusual. Of course not—he couldn’t detect his own pheromones. He could only smell Dokwon’s scent clinging to various parts of his skin.

“It’s probably just your imagination.”

Eunsu brushed it off casually and finished the email. But Dokwon’s serious expression didn’t ease.

“No. Do you think I’d mistake your scent because of some mood?”

“…”

Eunsu said nothing. Of course it bothered him. Not because he worried something was wrong with his body, but something else did.

Eunsu tapped away at the laptop keyboard, not taking his eyes off the screen, and asked.

“What if the scent’s, like, really bad?”

“What?”

“You said it’s weird, so…”

“…”

“Like spoiled milk or drain smell or exhaust fumes or something…”

Dokwon’s jaw dropped at Eunsu’s weak, mumbling words. Eunsu glanced at him nervously, then looked back at the monitor. Dokwon pulled Eunsu’s chin to make him face him.

“Eunsu.”

“…Yes.”

“Why would you say something like that? I almost got mad at you.”

“But…”

“Your scent is better than any I’ve ever smelled in my life.”

“…”

“It’s the same now. And it will be from now on.”

Dokwon pressed his lips firmly to Eunsu’s cheek, then pulled away. Then, as if to show off, he buried his face deep in Eunsu’s nape and inhaled. It was a soft, calm, yet sweetly rich scent. The kind that let you experience heaven.

Comparing it to spoiled milk or drain smell—those things couldn’t even stand on the same level. It was an ecstatic scent.

Dokwon’s hair, swaying calmly, tickled Eunsu’s chin. The itchiness made Eunsu grin widely.

“Really?”

“Of course.”

Dokwon met Eunsu’s eyes and smiled gently.

And the next day. At the hospital he’d visited just in case, Eunsu learned he was pregnant.

Eunsu thought maybe something had changed in his body like back then. There had to be a reason Dokwon reacted so strongly, wrinkling his nose bridge as if Eunsu’s scent was poisonous.

So he’d come to the OB-GYN. It was a small clinic. He couldn’t drive, his mind was urgent, and he’d just gone to the nearest one around, so that’s how it turned out. He and Dokwon had their own OB-GYN, but it was far from the subway station, making it tricky to get to.

After checking in for the appointment, Eunsu stared blankly down at his scraped-up hand,

“Yoo Eunsu for OB. Come on in.”

His name was called. Eunsu stood quickly and entered the exam room.

The consultation went smoothly. The doctor was a woman with her hair tied up high in a single ponytail, and she seemed fairly young. Her sharp jaw and rimless glasses made her look very strict. She moved her moderately pink lips and diagnosed Eunsu’s condition.

Eunsu half-listened to her. He’d heard these things a few times at the previous hospital, and he had something else he wanted to ask, so he just waited for her routine words to end.

“Since you’re an omega, you don’t need to worry much about miscarriage. Omegas usually have smooth deliveries. And you’re young too, so it’ll be fine. Do you have any questions?”

The doctor finished in her flat tone. Eunsu pulled his chair closer abruptly and spoke.

“Um, yes.”

“Yes.”

“With the pregnancy… could the baby’s dad sense my pheromones a bit differently?”

“…Pardon?”

“It feels like he does, different from before. If that’s the case, ah, if the baby… goes away… would it go back to normal?”

“…”

The doctor lost her composure for a moment. He couldn’t tell if it was shock from the inhuman words or disgust from the ignorant ones.

But Eunsu didn’t register her reaction at all. He was already half out of his mind. He wasn’t even aware of what he’d just said.

If Dokwon had only forgotten him due to amnesia, it would have been okay. Bitter and sad, sure, but he could have endured it.

It wouldn’t have been much different from meeting the Dokwon who’d gripped a mug and roamed the 14th floor two years ago.

But now Dokwon hated him, avoided him. That clearly wasn’t from the memory loss. There had to be another reason.

Lately, every day, every moment felt overwhelming for Eunsu. It was like his whole life was being uprooted.

Like getting a call from a cousin he rarely talked to. Like when that cousin said his parents had passed away.

Just like that time. Exactly that level of huge despair seemed to be waiting, and it terrified him to his core.

The doctor gazed quietly at Eunsu, whose face had paled blue. Then she leaned forward slightly, like Eunsu, and spoke softly.

“Patient. Has the baby’s dad been treating you roughly since the baby came along?”

“…Pardon?”

“Like forcing you to abort, or demanding a breakup or divorce?”

“…”

“If so, you can report it, and the country will provide help…”

“No, no. It’s not that.”

Eunsu shook his head vigorously. Then he rubbed his face hard and let out a sigh.

As the doctor said, if Dokwon had demanded he abort the baby, said he hated the kid and wanted to break up, things would have been much simpler.

Bastard. Rotten jerk. He’d curse him out like that, abort the baby, or steel himself and raise the child alone.

But now he couldn’t conclude what the situation was. Dokwon might come back. They said recovery could happen in as little as a week. He could endure that much.

It was just that he feared, even after Dokwon regained all his memories, he’d still find Eunsu’s scent repulsive.

“It’s just… he said my pheromones are different from before…”

“Of course he senses them differently. The alpha feels the scent of the omega he impregnated more vividly and prominently. Because it’s the omega he needs to protect.”

“Ah…”

Vividly and prominently. Yeah, that fit. He’d entered the room without a sound, but Dokwon had looked at him like he knew he was coming. He’d wrinkled his nose like the scent stabbed his nose.

So he’d sensed my scent too strongly. Finally, it made sense.

Eunsu’s rigidly tense shoulders loosened with a snap. He’d feared it was baseless rejection. Finding a reason made his chest feel a bit less tight.

“But it’s not a big enough difference to disrupt daily life. It’s like, if you’re among a bunch of omegas, he’d notice your scent first.”

“…”

“Naturally, it varies by person. Dominant alphas sense it more vividly, recessives a bit dully.”