Small and Fragile Things - Chapter 16

“Should I ask you again? Do you think I’m a good man or a bad one?”

“……”

He could guess which she’d pick, even without an answer.

“If you know, then say it. Don’t just sit there all tight-lipped and get on my nerves.”

When he drew in a breath, a faint trace of her scent slipped in too — a warm, subtle smell of skin. He couldn’t tell which was more irritating right now. That mouth-watering scent or her stubborn silence.

Click. The sound of the lighter made her thin shoulders flinch — still so thin. He didn’t like that, either.

Of course, he could break that silence if he wanted. One flick of his eyes and she’d spill everything inside her, right down to the marrow.

But if he did that, he’d lose that look in her eyes.

Those clear eyes that looked afraid of him — yet still held some tiny hope. Begging for something. Aching for something.

Eyes that, when he stared straight into them, made something deep inside him feel like a thread pulled taut.

He wanted to keep seeing those eyes a little longer.

“Rabbit.”

It had been a while since he felt this buzzed.

The quiet of his space — filled with another person’s soft breathing — didn’t feel so bad tonight.

If he was going to bother having her here, he wanted to hear her voice too. So he’d have to coax it out of her.

“I can’t know if you don’t speak.”

He’d seen that expression on her face before.

In that basement, when he’d picked up the shackles again. That same look.

“What’s got you looking so pitiful now, huh?”

Tears welled up in those big eyes almost instantly.

She parted her lips a few times, then finally managed to whisper, so small it nearly vanished into the air.

“No one… told me anything…”

A glassy film swelled in her eyes and then spilled over in a single drop down her cheek.

“I didn’t know I’d… come here. I thought… all of this… was your house…”

“You didn’t know?”

“I… I thought you’d… send me back…”

“You thought I was sending you back there?”

“……”

“So you cried? Till your eyes went all rabbit-like, all by yourself here?”

She had no defense against that gentle, teasing tone.

Before he could tease her more, her shoulders shook — and the dam burst.

“Huuuh….”

Big tears fell one after another, like she’d been holding it in so desperately all this time.

Muk-hyun shifted forward and grabbed her wrist. She didn’t resist — just let herself be pulled to stand between his knees while he looked up at her tear-streaked face.

Her thick lashes were soaked with tears that kept pouring out, dripping off her thin cheeks, pooling at her chin before falling to the floor.

She really cries like a child.

He’d seen women use tears like a weapon, or sob in fear — but never seen one weep like a lost child mourning her mother.

“You hated it that much there?”

“…Mm-hm.”

A stray thought drew itself in his mind — an image of some not-so-distant day when he’d take her back to that villa.

You’ll cry like this again that day too, huh?

A small sigh escaped him — he felt a twinge of pity, but what could he do? Everyone’s life was heavy in its own way.

Still, the thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, so he turned his head away.

At least she didn’t sob for long.

“All done?”

Her eyes, red and puffy, looked up at him.

She sniffled, then seemed to realize her wrist was still caught in his grip, her body standing so close — and her confusion showed on her face so clearly he couldn’t help but let out a faint laugh.

“Did you eat?”

The question was so out of nowhere she just blinked at him — and he laughed again.

“Gi-seon needs a scolding. Should’ve fed you properly before sending you off.”

“…I did. Sniff. Tuna gimbap.”

“Was it good?”

“…Mm-hm.”

Her cheeks flushed a beat late — embarrassed now — and for some reason, that too made him grin like an idiot. Maybe the booze was hitting him after all.

“Didn’t lose any more teeth?”

At that, she bit her lip and whipped her head away with a pout.

“…Don’t tease me.”

Even that small move — probably meaningless to her — tugged tight at his nerves, sharp as a blade pressed to his temple for a split second.

This is going to be a problem.

Once a nerve started burning out like this, it almost never settled down on its own. He could probably smoke every cigarette he had on him, and it still wouldn’t go away. Not that he could just get drunk and wander around outside either.

The real problem, though, was that right in front of him was the perfect offering to feed it with.

“But…”

Where did he put those pills he’d picked up from the hospital?

“Am I… staying here now? Then… then I hope I don’t have to go… anywhere else…”

She had no idea how dangerous this was — asking him that so innocently. Her face was timid, like she’d finally worked up the nerve to say it. Too bad he couldn’t give her what she wanted.

“Who knows. It’s not really up to me.”

“Then…?”

“Even if I told you, you wouldn’t get it. I just do what I’m told.”

“…Why?”

“Why?”

Good question. Why indeed.

Should he say, because that’s how he was raised?

At first, it was just to survive. Then, to gain power. Later still, because he had people to protect so he did whatever he was told. By then, there wasn’t anything else he knew how to do anyway.

Truth is, he never wanted to.

He only did it because he had to.

If he said he just kept doing it because undoing it all now felt like too much hassle — that’d sound too pathetic, even for him.

In the silence, her lips twitched like she might say something more — but then stayed shut.

He almost felt like tearing those insolent lips apart with his teeth.

Muk-hyun clenched his jaw so tight it went stiff, trying to hold down the heat roiling inside him. He forced his eyes away from her too — they’d been stuck on her like glue.

“For now, sleep in that room tonight.”

He lifted her wrist, still caught in his hand and pointed to the bedroom straight ahead.

“Wash up in the bathroom. Pick out something from the closet. And don’t come back out. Just sleep.”

It was the only room here with a bed, so he’d shut her in there for now.

After all, she was still a hostage he had to return in one piece.

But she didn’t go so easily. She took a few steps, then stopped and turned back.

“What now?”

The distance he’d pushed her away closed up in an instant — right back to where they started. He couldn’t tell if he should scold her for being so reckless or be amused by it. Her lips parted, hesitating.

“…Hyung-nim*?”
*TL/N: Korean word used by males to address an older brother or an older male friend. In this case, she just calls him that because that’s what his team has been calling him.

A short, surprised laugh slipped out of him.

“Hyung-nim?”

“I didn’t… know your name…”

Come to think of it, he’d never told her. And no one around him had ever called him by name for her to overhear. So she’d gone with hyung-nim instead…

It was what he was called every day — yet somehow it sounded strangely new coming from her.

Muk-hyun, elbows resting on his knees, lifted only his eyes to look at Irang.

……

What now.

That raw, thirsting look on her face — he knew it too well.

In a split second, he realized it. She wasn’t innocent.

Naive, maybe — but not ignorant. She knew the tension hanging between a man and a woman. She probably knew he could read her too. And still, she pushed, just to see if he’d reach back. Because she was lonely. Cold.

She’d spent too long aching for people, so maybe she was starved for warmth enough to do something so reckless.

Then again, maybe this was only natural — he’d dripped sweetness in front of a starving thing, so of course she’d try to get more.

So, what should he do with this clumsy, foolish girl?

“Then pick one for me.”

His mind made up, Muk-hyun leaned back and let himself relax. She fidgeted, looking cornered.

“I… I’m not good at that…”

“Try.”

“I really can’t…”

“I said try.”

His hand closed around her wrist again — his gaze now stripped of any dull haze, clear and dark, like the cover he’d kept on it was lifted.

“…Director?”

“Do you even know what that means? No. Pick something else.”

“…Unc—”

“Say uncle and see what happens.”

Irang, with her free hand, started picking at her lower lip again, then just shook her head.

“That stings, you know. I gave you a name, fed you, brought you to a nice place…”

“……”

“And this tiny thing, always talking back, never says thank you… hmm? Makes me wonder why I bothered pulling you out.”

He hardened his expression on purpose — and right away, she looked flustered and at a loss. That look alone was satisfying, but at the same time, it stirred up something deeper. A thirst to push her harder — to watch her unravel even more right here.

“Shouldn’t I get a little something back? As thanks?”