Small and Fragile Things - Chapter 33

She was quick to read the room. Unlike earlier, she didn’t pretend to be happy this time—just hesitated, then slowly approached and looked up at him with her big eyes.

He noticed she looked a little fuller in the face now. How old was she again? Still had soft peach fuzz on her skin like a kid.

And suddenly, the sensation of kissing those soft cheeks came rushing back. The dazed look in her eyes when he rubbed her earlobe flashed through his mind.

He wasn’t even drunk today. Goddamn it. What the hell was wrong with him?

Muk-hyun bit down hard on his molars and gave his head a slight shake.

“Don’t hang around. Go back to your room.”

“Did you eat?”

“…What?”

Her voice was bright—totally opposite of the timid look on her face.

“Did you eat with Yoon?”

Her words caught him off guard. He hadn’t expected that.

Why did a simple question like “Did you eat?” stop him cold? No, more importantly—why the hell did this awful, tangled feeling creep up on him again? It’s not like he was some hormone-crazed teenager. It’s not like she was throwing herself at him seductively.

Am I worried about nothing?

Now he understood why Jung Yoon had said that, and why he’d looked so doubtful even after hearing Muk-hyun’s answer.

Yeah. Like he said—just a kid. Someone helpless who couldn’t do anything on her own. Muk-hyun knew he was being soft with her. But was it sympathy?

No. It felt more like a shared pain… or a longing. A pull toward a time he could never return to—a time when both he and his mother had been powerless. A time when no one had reached out a hand.

Maybe that was why he felt something now, staring at this girl. But what he felt for her wasn’t pity.

“Wanna eat some bread…?”

Was that all this was? He’d fed her, let her rest, looked after her because he felt bad?

Why… are you being nice to me?

Yeah, why had he acted so differently with her? He could’ve just left her alone. But he’d known. Known she’d been isolated for a long time. That she’d respond even to the briefest warmth. So why… why had he held her like that?

Why? You knew this would be a goddamn mess, Choi Hyun.

“…You okay?”

A sharp pain suddenly jabbed his temple.

He reached instinctively for his pocket, only to realize he was wearing nothing but a robe. And that’s exactly when she reached out.

“Did you… get hurt? Are you in pain?” She was so careless.

“Don’t just touch me like that.”

Couldn’t even tell there was danger right in front of her. Clueless.

Kids like her… they didn’t understand how dangerous honesty could be.

“Can’t you read the room?”

If she’d realized he was weak, she should’ve been more cautious. That’s how you survive. She should’ve known better. She should never have looked at him with those eyes from the start.

“Move.”

He thought maybe it was time to throw her back into Seonidong. Get others to guard her. Stop himself from ever looking at her again.

But then her hand came back.

“…Should I… hug you?”

A small, pale hand barely holding onto his robe entered his view.

So fragile, it looked like he could crush it just by squeezing. Why the hell did she always do this—so recklessly, so stupidly? Driving him mad?

“Hyun, don’t fall for anything small and fragile.”

Even if she was small and fragile.

“Things that break easily… they’ll hurt you.”

She’d fall apart. Shatter too easily, too fast. Like she was meant to be destroyed.

“Don’t push it. I’m not that patient.”

“That’s not it…”

Muk-hyun’s dark eyes shifted from her hand to her flushed cheek, then to her eyes.

He hoped she’d back off at the sharpness of his stare—but instead, she met his gaze, her eyes simmering with faint warmth and unease.

Like she’d been waiting for him to look.

“When you hugged me last time… it felt good.”

The moment he met her eyes, something flared inside him—hot and uncontrollable.

She said it felt good.

It made him feel like a criminal. She looked at him with those wide, innocent eyes, not even realizing what she was doing—and yet he reacted like a beast in heat.

And it felt unfair. She was the one making him like this—so why did he have to carry all the guilt? Why did she have that kind of power over him?

“That’s why… I thought maybe if I hug you, too… you’ll feel good.”

Her cheeks flushed like someone had dropped red dye on them. Her breath looked hot even from a distance. Her toes curled inward, like she didn’t know what to do with herself.

Standing there, she looked like sin itself. A ripe, red fruit begging to be plucked.

“…Fvck.”

Muk-hyun’s nose grazed the pale nape of her neck—narrow enough to grip with one hand.

“Hnn…”

Her soft skin burned under his lips. It wasn’t even like touching human flesh. More like warm, whipped cream—sweet and smooth. Just kissing her wasn’t enough. He had to bite.

“Haah…”

Irang clung to him, standing on tiptoe. Then, startled by how high up she was, she instinctively grabbed his shoulders.

As he easily lifted her off the ground, she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

“You’re too—too tall!”

“Watch your mouth.”

“I-I’m scared…”

She clung tightly to him, trembling. She smelled like a baby. That soft, cozy scent of skin. The sweetness in it dried out his mouth and made him thirsty.

He carried her straight into the bedroom, forcing himself to shut off his thoughts.

Whatever this feeling was, whether for her or himself—both of them were empty. Starving. And when starving people found something they craved, they took it. Simple as that.

There was no room for emotions in this raw, physical act. Neither of them had much of a heart left to begin with. Just hollow shells.

He folded up the page full of doubts, guilt, logic, and half-assed conscience—and the side that showed was pitch black and blank.

Somehow, that was comforting.

“You should’ve learned something.”

Muk-hyun practically tossed Irang onto the bed, growling.

His eyes glinted with something dangerous, as if he might strangle her right then.

“I licked you raw and threw you away. You should’ve been scared or pissed. So why’d you wait for me like an idiot?”

Irang didn’t flinch. His cruel, heavy stare didn’t shake her.

“…Because I missed you.”

She was the one lying down, helpless—but it was him who’d taken the hit.

Lying there, glowing pale against the black sheets, she looked at him—calm, direct, and unafraid.

“…What?”

“I’m not angry. I’m not scared… I just missed you.”

Her smile was faint. Not seductive, not glamorous. Just quietly accepting. As if she was willing to take whatever he gave.

But to him, it didn’t look like surrender. It looked like a scream. A desperate plea. “Give me warmth”. You’ve already shown me what it is—now take responsibility.

And even if he’d seen it coming, it still hit hard.

The truth followed right behind: maybe it wasn’t her who needed to surrender now. Maybe it was him.

“So… you’re saying we go all the way?”

Muk-hyun cast a shadow over her, walking straight into danger.

“You’ll break. You’ll shatter. Just look at the size difference between us.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Bullshit.”

His hot breath hit her nose, and Irang’s lashes fluttered.

“…Even if it’s everything.”

He grabbed her face roughly, anger and violence brimming in his voice.

“You fucking—do you even know what kind of person I am?!”

Even as the dark, suffocating mood spread around them, she didn’t pull back. Didn’t even look away.

“You’ll regret this later. It’ll be too late. You think I’m the kind of guy who’s satisfied just cuddling? Didn’t you learn anything last time?”

“I don’t care. You can do whatever.”

Muk-hyun scowled, furious, but then let out a deep sigh. He lowered his lips slowly toward her, scolding her foolishness in a low voice.

“Why are you never scared…”

His warm breath tickled her ear. Irang turned her head and squinted. Faint marks still lingered on her pale neck, clearly visible—almost like she was showing them off.

His gaze deepened.

“Tell me to stop.”

It was almost a whisper. Like he wanted her to pull him back.

“Say you don’t want this.”

But she didn’t. Not even a flicker of hesitation.

“No.”

“…”

“Don’t stop.”

When she finally pulled off her own clothes, Muk-hyun let go of the last thread of restraint he’d been holding onto.