Small and Fragile Things - Chapter 56

“Foot.”

His gaze, fixed deep in some dark place, grew dim, but his voice stayed calm.

Maybe that made it all the more intense. Irang bit her lip hard, her ears flushed red, and she extended her foot.

“Tell me if it’s too hot.”

“No, it’s fine. I like it.”

She’d twisted her ankle running barefoot, and it was still a little swollen. After accidentally catching her in pain, Muk-hyun had been applying compresses several times a day.

Lowering himself with one knee on the floor, he gently held her injured ankle and sprinkled water over it.

“Ugh…”

Irang buried her face in her hands, wincing.

But it wasn’t just the dull ache.

Muk-hyun, massaging her ankle and calf softly like a soothing caress, suddenly pressed his lips against her without warning.

His tongue flicked over her round kneecap like it was candy, then sucked and nibbled with wet little sounds as he slowly made his way up. His lips traced a line, never breaking contact, moving higher and deeper.

“Ah…”

Caught between ticklish and sharp sensations, she started to drift away, and when she came back to herself, Muk-hyun was already cupping her chest with one hand, his mouth pressed to her peak.

Each twitch of pleasure sent a ripple through her body, and every time she flinched, the sound of splashing water echoed from her toes.

“You’re supposed to be compressing, not playing in the water,” he scolded gently, and when she blushed, denying it wasn’t like that, their lips met again in a rush.

By the time her hair was messy and her mouth wet, one knee bent up, giving his wet hand access through the gap.

“Ahng…!”

It wasn’t surprising—this pattern had been repeating for days.

Their eyes locked, gazing quietly, and before they knew it, their bodies were pressed close.

Like addicts, suddenly hooked without reason or warning, sparks flew across the broken circuit between them.

“Show me your face.”

“There… there, don’t… ah…”

“If I do this, do you know how your face changes?”

Muk-hyun pushed her, but not as roughly as before.

He didn’t hide his true nature, but sometimes his tender touch and gentle whispers got her tangled up again.

Sometimes he looked strange at himself, like it was unfamiliar, and Irang enjoyed watching his pouty face.

As the soft rain fell outside, the lazy, sticky time stretched on like it might last forever.

“Ugh!”

After another wave passed, Muk-hyun gently cupped her cheek, warm and flushed.

“Did it hurt?”

Irang opened her eyes slightly and smiled weakly, saying it didn’t hurt.

Muk-hyun believed her but leaned back, tracing her soft, smooth skin with his fingertips. He’d learned she liked that kind of teasing.

“Want to eat?”

“Not really hungry.”

“Then how about a snack?”

“A snack?”

He kissed her shoulder, got up, and pulled some chocolate from the drawer. She brightened, about to sit up, but he gently pushed her back down and slowly unwrapped it.

He waited patiently, watching her struggle to unwrap it quickly without rushing her, then popped it into her mouth.

“Is it because you like sweets that you smell so sweet?”

Rolling the firm chocolate around in her mouth, Muk-hyun stroked her whole body. He liked how soft she was and couldn’t keep his hands still.

Thinking about his own solid, hard body, it made sense she found it strange.

Irang, full and happy, didn’t hide her smile under his touch—until suddenly a shadow crossed her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“…It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? You look like you’re about to cry. Feeling shortchanged?”

It wasn’t embarrassment or shyness—it was a doubtful, uneasy expression. There was definitely a storm brewing inside that small head of hers.

“If you cry, I’ll scold you.”

He tapped her small nostrils and gave her a warning, so she reluctantly spoke.

“…I’m scared. That you’ll leave me again.”

He had expected as much.

No matter how often he held and kissed her to sleep, she’d still suffer nightmares or cry to keep him from going.

She seemed to forget by morning, but the blank look on her face told him otherwise. She was anxious.

It was clearly his fault. But while he blamed himself, he couldn’t apologize—he couldn’t promise it wouldn’t happen again.

“Irang.”

Right now, he was selfishly enjoying something he shouldn’t. He knew taking back what he gave was the worst thing he could do. He knew this time would only leave bigger scars for her, yet he selfishly held on anyway.

What could he do? He just couldn’t bear it. Call him trash, call him hopeless—it didn’t matter.

“Do you like me that much?”

Because of you, I made a decision. You made me vow to try living willingly. I have to leave you with memories to keep chewing on.

“Yeah, I do.”

“When you find someone you really love, you won’t even remember someone like me.”

“…No way.”

“You’ll regret why you ever liked a guy like me.”

“No, no… don’t say weird stuff like that.”

He smiled quietly, pleased by her angry, fierce face. Her eyes welled up instantly, spilling tears he wiped away. She mumbled that she couldn’t say what she wanted to say, but tears kept falling, and he kissed her lips.

“Don’t cry.”

How he wished he could swallow all that fear and sorrow inside her—

If only he could store it without digesting it, like an animal that keeps food for later, chewing over it when hungry.

Muk-hyun kissed every crease of her sorrowful, scrunched-up face.

“Don’t worry. I won’t leave your side.”

“…Promise?”

Irang sniffled, voice trembling.

“Yeah. Promise.”

“Really, don’t go anywhere?”

Even if I wanted to, I can’t now. Without you, I’d go crazy.

“I said I’ll stay with you.”

“…Okay.”

You made me want to live, so I’ll live watching you. Words he couldn’t say out loud pricked his heart like thorns.

From now on, protecting you is the only thing that will keep me alive. Irang leaned in first, kissing him passionately in her own way.

“Thank you.”

Her breath, still trembling, smelled faintly of chocolate. He drank in her shy, creeping warmth. Ah. Maybe I’ll be selfish just a little longer.

“You promise too. That only I get to hold you.”

She nodded hard.

Tears sparkling at the corners of her eyes, she smiled like she was the happiest woman alive.

What a bastard, Choi Hyun.

***

With him, time stretched like taffy, endlessly slow. Their passion rolled on day and night, blurring all sense of time as they rose and fell again and again. Judging by the weather, it had been about three days.

“Ah! That hurts.”

“You keep moving too much.”

“Do you even know what you’re doing?”

He was braiding her hair.

She’d been writing on paper for the first time in ages, and when he suddenly pulled her into his arms and started fussing, she asked him to just tie her hair instead.

He promised to braid it and acted so confident she thought he could do it—but he couldn’t.

“It looked easy.”

He laughed quietly, blaming her fine hair for being difficult. The paper he held had the same word written over and over.

[Happy.]

The last page of every picture book she’d seen as a child was always covered in hearts.

And they lived happily ever after.

As a kid, she’d always asked the nanny what happiness was after the story ended. After a few awkward tries, the nanny explained.

“Happiness is when your heart is at ease with no worries, and you feel so goodthat  you want nothing more.”

She’d only imagined it vaguely—never actually felt the happiness the nanny described. So she thought happiness was something only certain people were born to have.

But it wasn’t. I’m someone who can be happy too.

“Done.”

Muk-hyun handed her back her hair, now braided nicely. Seeing her surprised, he tickled her cheek with the braid’s end.

“See? I told you I could do it.”

“Don’t do that! It tickles.”

“You did well—you deserve a reward.”

“A reward?”

He pulled her closer into his chest, lips soft and close.

“Smile.”

“A reward is making me smile?”

“I said smile.”

It wasn’t hard at all, so she grinned widely—and his right cheek dimpled too.

“Good enough?”