Small and Fragile Things - Chapter 62

The self-loathing that forced its way out soon turned into tears.

“Even animals… if they’re in too much pain, they’re let go. So why not me…”

Tears streamed down the corners of her eyes. It would’ve been easier if only her body hurt. The way her chest felt torn apart was unbearable.

Maybe it would’ve been better if she had never known happiness. After once holding it in her hands, losing it was torture.

“For now, let’s just think about your body. Like this, Illy… it’s too hard for you.”

“You’re going to take me apart anyway, whether I die or not!”

“…!”

The old doctor froze, staring at her with a face gone pale.

“What is it this time? Eyes? A kidney? Or my heart?”

Irang’s expression was so cold it sent shivers down his spine. Her gaze was hollow, void of the slightest hope, like someone who had already given up on everything.

Who could have told her such things?

The old doctor turned ghastly pale, crushed beneath the guilt and shame he had been trying to ignore. But it wasn’t anyone’s fault, not exactly a mistake either. She had simply sensed the truth.

Her instinct told her. Why she had to become “Illy” again. Why she had to return to her place.

There was only one reason.

And she had the feeling this would be the last time. That if she lay down on the operating table now, she wouldn’t open her eyes again.

“But, Doctor…”

She wanted to give everything away. But even in this moment, there was still one thing she didn’t want to let go of.

“My heart… I want to keep it. I don’t want anyone else to have it…”

Clenching her eyes shut, Irang prayed with all her might.

Please don’t let anyone take my precious memories. Even if it ends here, please, let that one thing remain mine.

***

At exactly 2 p.m., Muk-hyun’s phone rang, sharp and punctual like an alarm.

—”Hello. Reporting in.”

He focused every nerve, afraid of missing even a single word through the receiver.

—”Her condition is still bad. She’s unconscious, under 24-hour monitoring. I overheard a discussion this morning over the bl00d test results. Some want to use the new drug, others think they should wait and see. This afternoon, someone’s supposed to come, and they’ll decide together.”

“What’s that person’s name?”

—”They only called him ‘Doctor,’ so I’m not sure. Probably another physician.”

“…Go on.”

—”I was lucky enough to get a look inside her room today. The primary doctor grabbed the wrong test results, so I handed them over. I saw her lying there.”

“How is she?”

A pause. Muk-hyun’s hand, gripping the phone, trembled faintly.

—”Sir… forgive me for saying this, but… if you plan to do something, you should do it quickly. Before it’s too late.”

Muk-hyun forgot even to blink. His lips parted soundlessly. Then, pressing a palm against his throbbing temple, he forced the words out.

“…Thank you. Keep watching. And report who the visitor is this afternoon.”

—”Yes, sir.”

The moment he hung up, a bitter taste surged up his throat.

“Hhh… hhhuu…”

He sucked in breath like a drowning man. It felt less like air and more like something else was spilling out of him, draining the bl00d from his face.

This was something he hadn’t expected.

“Boss, they’re not heading to Seoul, they’re diverting to Heungin. If they keep going, there’s some kind of lab out here.”

Muk-hyun had put a man on Irang since that day at the lake. The plan was to track wherever they took her, then place someone close enough to watch her every move. To keep eyes on her constantly, to be within reach whenever necessary.

He had let her go, but she was never supposed to truly be gone. Distance was fine, but she had to stay within his sight.

That was why it had been strange when they took her to a pharmaceutical lab.

He had hurriedly bribed one of the staff there, but the reports coming back about Irang were unbelievable.

When he first heard she was at death’s door, he had been ready to storm the lab and drag her out. But he stopped when he was told the doctors were treating her. After all, if he took her, all he could do was take her to a hospital anyway. He forced himself to wait.

But that had been a long time ago, and still her condition wasn’t improving.

Was she already this sick when she was with him? Had they done something to her? He had no answers. The uncertainty was killing him.

He was breathing, but it didn’t feel like living.

“This can’t go on.”

This wasn’t something he could just sit and wait out. Neither Kim Deok-gyu nor Moon Heesook had shown their faces even once, how could that make sense?

Something was wrong. He needed another plan. He might have to break into the lab himself and take her out.

But the reality was complicated. With Jung Yoon and Jung-pal arrested, the next step of his plan was already in motion. He couldn’t move recklessly. He had to work mostly alone, and there was only so much he could do.

As he wrestled with confusion, a knock came at the door.

Muk-hyun ran a hand roughly down his irritated face.

A moment later, a man stepped into the room. Two bulky guards waited outside the door, while he fidgeted nervously. It was actor Kim Sejin.

“Hello… y-you’re here already.”

Sejin might have been an actor by trade, but in front of Muk-hyun, he couldn’t pretend. The twitch in his cheek and the cold sweat on his forehead gave him away.

“I told you not to give me another reason to see you.”

The chill in Muk-hyun’s voice made Sejin drop to his knees instantly.

“Please, Director, spare me!”

“What now—did you commit another sin?”

“No! That’s not it…! S-some terrifying guy came looking for me. Definitely someone from Samun! He seemed really high up. I don’t know his name, but he started talking about my mother and sister, told me to get out of the country immediately. That’s basically telling me to retire! I can’t… not after everything I’ve done to get here… Please, Director, just this once, save me!”

The first time Sejin had met Muk-hyun, he had thrown his pride aside too, begging for the chance to keep acting, swearing it was all his fault.

He hadn’t loved Choi Jihyun, not really. He just wanted a sponsor. Rejected, he had lashed out. He’d even offered to delete the video right in front of Muk-hyun.

But Muk-hyun had stopped him.

“I leaked it to Hanmin’s side just like you asked. The whole video! Please. Just get that guy off me. I swear someone’s been following me.”

Muk-hyun had already expected Chairman Choi to pull some move to bind him down. That was why he’d been gathering cards to play. Getting dirt on Jihyun was part of that.

Of course, he knew if Hanmin became difficult, Chief Gu might deal with Sejin directly. Still, this way of handling things was disappointing.

Shoving nuisances abroad like that—it was too weak, too outdated. If it were him, he wouldn’t have handled it this way.

“Is he really so old and useless now…”

“Huh? Oh, my face? Yeah, it looks rough ‘cause I haven’t been sleeping. For actors, skin is everything, you know… Director, you’ll save me, right? That guy was scary, but you look way scarier. Please. I even got cast as the lead in Director Kim Deok’s new film, the one I’ve been dying to work on… Do you know how huge that is…?”

Sejin’s rambling plea didn’t reach Muk-hyun at all. He had far more pressing problems.

“Director? Are you even listening? Are you looking at this?”

It wasn’t intentional. His mind was elsewhere, but his gaze had landed on Sejin’s keychain. It was absurdly bulky, so overloaded with trinkets it couldn’t fit in one hand.

“…Are you low on sugar or something?”

Misunderstanding completely, Sejin wiped his wet face and got to his feet, fumbling with the keychain to unhook it.