Souvenir - Chapter 5.6

I reached out and took her small hand in mine.

“Then that’s what you should call me,” I said softly.

She grinned, squeezing my hand back.

“Goodnight, Papa.”

“Goodnight, Su.”

As I watched her drift into sleep, her delicate features peaceful in the dim glow of the bedside lamp, I realized something.

Su had given me something I didn’t even know I needed.

Not just love.

Not just purpose.

But home.

And for that, I would protect her with everything I had.

I exhaled slowly, staring up at the ceiling of my dimly lit study. The weight of that question lingered, unspoken yet deafening in my mind.

Could I love her then?

Would she still look at me the same way when she was older—when she became more aware of the world, of herself, of me?

No.

It was absurd to even think about it.

Su was still a child. My child. My responsibility.

And yet, something deep inside me twisted painfully at the thought of her growing distant.

One day, she would meet someone else. Someone her age. Someone she could truly love in the way she deserved.

And I would have to watch from the sidelines.

That was the natural order of things.

That was how it should be.

I ran a hand down my face, forcing a breath through my lips.

This wasn’t something I should be thinking about.

Not now. Not ever.

But the thought had already planted itself, like an unwanted seed taking root in my subconscious.

Would she leave me?

Would she forget the way she used to look at me with pure, undivided trust?

Would she stop calling me Papa?

The very idea sent a sharp pang through my chest.

I closed my eyes, gripping the armrest of my chair.

No.

I would never let that happen.

Even if she grew, even if the world changed around us—she would always be mine.

She had to be.

And if she ever tried to leave—

No.

I shook my head, dispelling the dark thought before it could fully form.

I wasn’t that kind of man.

I wasn’t my father.

I had always prided myself on control, on logic. This was nothing more than irrational fear, a fleeting insecurity.

Su was still a child.

And I would love her as her father.

No more, no less.

For now… that had to be enough.