Souvenir - Chapter 6.3

She pressed her body against mine, her movements urgent.

Her hands slipped beneath my shirt, her nails lightly scraping my skin.

I responded in kind, running my fingers up her thighs, pushing her skirt higher.

As we moved toward the couch, I thought— what the hell am I doing?

But by then, I had already stopped resisting.

For a short while, I forgot everything else.

I forgot the world outside this room.

And for the first time since meeting Suu, I forgot about her too.

As I adjusted my belt, Kenny leaned against the couch, catching her breath.

“Your daughter,” she said, her voice slightly hoarse. “Her name is Suu, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Must be tough, raising her on your own.”

“I manage.” I exhaled, still feeling the lingering haze of our actions. “There are challenges, of course. She’s a girl, so there are things I can’t quite understand.”

“Then don’t you think it’s about time Suu had a mother?”

I turned to look at her.

“Maybe,” I said vaguely. “Eventually.”

Leaning back against the couch, I stared at the ceiling, already regretting what had just happened.

Physically, I felt satisfied.

But emotionally—something felt off.

It wasn’t just guilt.

It was the realization that, for the first time, I was suffocating under the weight of my “single father” title.

Maybe that was why I let myself go so easily today.

“I’d love to see Suu next time. No, actually, I want to go on a date with you.”

“If Suu can come along, I don’t mind. I still can’t leave her alone on my days off.”

“That would be wonderful.”

Raising a child is far more difficult than I ever imagined. After all, I was inexperienced as a single father, and I wasn’t even sure if I had the resolve to raise her as a parent. Yet, as I juggled my work while entrusting some of the responsibilities to a babysitter, those around me regarded me with overwhelming sympathy.

I have always maintained good relationships with my neighbors and friends, which allowed me to receive help from various people while raising her. From an outsider’s perspective, I must have appeared as a lawyer who had suffered through a tragic incident, taking in and raising the daughter of the victim—an image that earned me both sympathy and respect. Hearing words of encouragement from others is a little embarrassing, but at the same time, it fills me with pride.

However, it was only recently that I realized something—I have merely been playing the role of her “good father” for the sake of those around me. The truth is, my instincts are consumed by an overwhelming, maddening love for her as a woman. There is not a single day, not even a single second, when she isn’t on my mind. I wish she felt the same way.

I believe that there is something far more important than just the physical act of being together. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. But perhaps, deep down, my instincts are crying out for something more. Maybe I’m simply suppressing those desires with reason.

Even so, for now, I am content just being by her side—holding her hand, sharing a light kiss on the cheek, and living together like this. That feeling, at least, is genuine.

Perhaps my unbalanced turmoil will continue for the rest of my life. But if I were to marry a woman close to my age at this moment, it might bring about a positive change both socially and environmentally. If that were the case, then Kenny seemed like an even better choice.

Whether or not there was love between us, I wasn’t sure. However, our physical compatibility didn’t seem bad.

With that thought in mind, I decided to introduce Suu to her. If I were to marry Kenny, at the very least, I wouldn’t have to worry about being seen with suspicion by those with biased perspectives. To me, she seemed like a convenient solution.

“Are you happy living with your father?”

“Yes! More than anything!”

Seeing Suu again after a long time, I found her even more captivating than before. What was it about her that intrigued me so much? There was something undeniably enchanting about her.

Suddenly, Suu’s expression shifted as if she had realized something.

“I really, really love ‘Papa.’”

“That’s a wonderful thing. I love my parents too.”

“……”

“What do you love most about your father?”

“Well… when I say I love him, I mean… like how a lover would.”

“What are you talking about…?”

She gazed intently at You with her clear emerald-green eyes. They were serious, unwavering.

“You might not believe me, but I’m sure he feels the same way.”

With a bright, beaming smile, she added,

“Because when I kissed him, he told me, ‘I love you too.’”

Watching her speak so joyfully, an inexplicable feeling stirred deep within me. I understood that these were merely the innocent words of a young girl, yet… could that rigid, law-abiding man—who never allowed himself to waver—truly harbor such emotions? I couldn’t imagine it.

But looking into her clear, untainted eyes, I could understand why anyone would be swayed. She was undeniably captivating, even to me.