Souvenir - Chapter 7.3
“Isn’t that obvious?”
“Do you love me?”
“Of course I do.”
I stroked her head again and again.
She kept seeking reassurance, always asking me to affirm my love.
And I always did.
But her eyes still held traces of uncertainty.
A small part of me—just a fraction—was starting to feel slightly overwhelmed by her intensity.
But perhaps… it was time to finally make a decision.
After all, this was the result of my own vague, indecisive actions.
I needed to decide when and how I would tell Suu the truth.
“The other day, you were kind to my friend too!”
Suu was in a bad mood again.
She had a tendency to get upset whenever I did something she disapproved of.
Her deep attachment to me was concerning at times.
But…
Seeing how deeply she adored someone made me a little envious.
And now that I was aware of my own desires, I found myself feeling something other than just concern for her.
I touched my earlobe—an old habit whenever I was lost in thought.
“You were whispering with Lasha on the couch…”
“What kind of friend is she?”
“She’s an orphan, like me. She was raised by wealthy relatives.”
“That’s why you bonded, huh?”
“You’re sharp. When I tell ‘normal’ kids that I love my papa more than anything, they just stare at me blankly, like they don’t get it.”
“But Lasha… she listens intently. Like she actually understands. Almost like she envies me.”
She narrowed her eyes slightly.
“Tommy, do you care about Lasha?”
“You’re overthinking things.”
But people’s true nature was something only they knew.
No one could ever be sure what lurked beneath a friendly, seemingly normal surface.
Sometimes, the smallest sense of unease was the key to the truth.
“Your hand smells like my favorite body cream.”
Suu’s voice was quiet.
“And Lasha smelled like it too.”
“What are you implying?”
“You must have given her a massage!”
I smirked.
“Well, if that were the case, it would be a serious problem, wouldn’t it?”
Suu frowned.
“You said you just picked up the cream and handed it to her.”
“And you weren’t there to see what actually happened, were you?”
“No… but Tommy, do you like girls like me?”
“Who knows?”
“I want you to touch only me.”
Her voice carried a mix of vulnerability and frustration.
“Do you really believe I did something with Lasha?”
“I don’t know… Tell me, Tommy—how can I find out?”
“Why don’t you ask Lasha yourself?”
Suu hesitated.
“Would she tell me the truth?”
Her uncertainty was evident, and I could only smile.
“Only one way to find out.”
“Thank you for taking the time for lunch.”
You had wanted to talk to Tommy, knowing how busy he was, and figured that lunch would be the best opportunity to discuss Suu. You reached out, and to your surprise, he responded almost immediately.
Maybe he also had things he wanted to talk about regarding Suu.
Besides, there was something you needed to clarify about the billing for her counseling sessions.
“No, thank you. I haven’t had much time to talk lately.”
“Work keeping you busy?”
“Yes. Lately, there’s been a surge in Asian immigrants, and I’ve been handling a lot of paperwork for them. I delegate some of it to my team, but things don’t always go smoothly.”
He truly seemed exhausted. You could see the fatigue on his face.
“About the billing—I noticed that Suu’s Social Security number isn’t listed on the clinic’s records.”
“I haven’t set one up for her yet. Mine should be sufficient for now.”
“Well, that’s one way to handle it, but still…”
“So, what did you want to talk about regarding Suu?”
“She mentioned that she had a sleepover with a friend recently.”
“Ah, that night.”
“She seemed troubled by something that happened.”
For a moment, Tommy’s face stiffened.
“Are you suggesting that I did something to Suu’s friend?”
His expression darkened.
“Not exactly. But Suu has been fixated on that night, so I thought I’d hear your side of it.”
Tommy let out a small sigh and raised his hands slightly in exasperation.
“That’s ridiculous. You don’t really believe I’d do something like that, do you?”
“Of course not.”
“I take great pride in my work. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the reputation I’ve built. Please don’t take Suu’s words at face value.”
“Fair enough. But then, why do you think she’s so suspicious of you?”
Tommy exhaled, rubbing his temple.
“Lately, Suu has been acting… different. For example, if I pick up a ball at the park and hand it back to a little girl, she immediately asks if I like girls like that. If we’re in a restaurant, she’ll point at random women and insist I tell her which one I prefer. She asks over and over, and it’s exhausting.”
“Maybe she’s afraid of losing you to someone else.”
Tommy looked at You carefully.
“Is that a normal reaction for a child?”
“To be honest, not really. Normally, parent-child bonds don’t manifest like that.”
You observed Tommy’s expression as he processed your words.
“Since you’re not her biological father, perhaps there’s still a lingering sense of doubt in her mind. She might not fully trust that your love for her is unconditional.”
Tommy fell silent.
“So… because we’re not truly related, there’s no way to erase that doubt?”
“Not necessarily. If you can reassure her in a meaningful way, she may start to feel more secure.”
“How do you suggest I do that?”
“You could show her affection in a tangible way.”
“You mean like telling her I love her?”
“Yes.”
“I already do. I tell her every day. I hug her, pat her head—everything a normal parent does.”
You nodded slightly.
“Then why isn’t that enough?” Tommy muttered.
“Because she wants more than that.”
His breath caught.
“What?”
“She may be seeking something beyond a typical parent-child relationship.”
“That’s… that’s ridiculous. That can’t happen.”
Tommy shook his head, gripping his forehead.
“Exactly. If that line is crossed, then you won’t be parent and child anymore.”
A heavy silence fell between you.
“But she wants that. And you already know it, don’t you?”
Tommy let out a deep breath, his posture stiff as he leaned forward, rubbing his temple.
“This is a nightmare.”
You watched him carefully.