Souvenir - Chapter 8

I once went on vacation to a southern island with Alex. He never cared about race when dating—after a Black woman, it was an Asian woman next. The moment we arrived, he wasted no time flirting with hotel staff and the girls lounging by the pool. I watched his boundless energy with an exasperated look, reaffirming my own preferences.

I could appreciate the beauty of black hair, but I could never be attracted to someone who looked too much like me. It might be natural to feel a connection with those of the same race, an instinct ingrained in human nature, but for some reason, that instinct seemed to be completely absent in me.

It’s not that I dislike Asian women—I’ve had friends and even dated a few before. But there was always an air of elegance about them that reminded me of my mother. And that was all.

“Ah, Suu. I love you.”

“I love you too, Tommy… No, Thomas.”

A sudden whiff of Suu’s sweet scent nearly made me lose my grip on reason. But I held firm. As I stroked her soft hair over and over, I suddenly recalled a young girl I had once met—a girl with long, flowing black hair, carrying a flower crown.

Why did she suddenly come to mind?

I couldn’t even remember her face anymore. But her deep, bottomless black eyes, the same color as her hair, and that intoxicating experience from long ago still lingered vividly in my memory.

The heat was suffocating.

But under the shade of a poolside parasol, the afternoon warmth was just right. I thought about spending the day leisurely reading, but then again, maybe I should do something more typical of a tourist for once.

Though I had come here purely to relax and forget about work, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to act like an outsider for a change.

Alex had locked himself in his hotel room, clearly entertaining a woman, so I decided to leave the pool and wander around on my own.

A drink first—maybe a glass of cognac at a seaside standing bar. After that, I could take a casual stroll through the nearby shopping district.

I had already finished a martini under the parasol earlier. Now, dressed in a black shirt, white trousers, brown sandals, and a pair of brown sunglasses, I wandered the streets aimlessly.

Eventually, I found myself resting in the cool shade of a row of palm trees lining the road. Across from me, the road sloped upward toward a residential area where the locals lived.

Checking my phone, I saw a work email had already come in. Though I wasn’t going to reply right away, I still found myself thinking about how I should respond.

Suddenly, I looked up and saw two young girls standing before me, each holding a vibrant red flower crown in their hands.

With bright smiles, they placed one around my neck.

Reflexively, I reached into my pocket, pulled out some loose change, and handed it to the girl who had placed the crown on me.

“Thank you,” she said before running off toward the residential area.

But the other girl remained, not following her companion.

“Aren’t you going with her?” I asked.

She tilted her head slightly.

It seemed she didn’t understand English.

Even though this was an English-speaking country, I had heard that outside the city center, there were still many locals who didn’t speak it fluently.

She neither gave me the flower crown in her hands nor walked away. Instead, she simply sat beside me, occasionally glancing in my direction.

Whenever our eyes met, she would quickly look away, her embarrassed smile charming in its innocence.

We sat in silence for a while.

The girl idly played with the flowers in her lap, her movements careful, almost reverent.

Then, all of a sudden, she stood up.

“She’s finally leaving,” I thought.

But instead, she walked toward the sloping path that led into the residential area.

I watched her, my senses overwhelmed by the thick, heavy fragrance of the flowers.

Had flowers always smelled this strong?

Had they always carried this strange white powder deep within their petals?

The scent wasn’t unpleasant. On the contrary, it was intoxicating—so much so that I wanted to keep breathing it in forever.

It reminded me of something from my university days, something hazy and half-forgotten.

But my thoughts could go no further.

The girl turned back toward me and beckoned with her hand.

For a moment, I hesitated.

Was it the golden glow of the setting sun that made my head swim?

Or was it the alcohol from earlier finally kicking in?

My mind felt clouded, my judgment slipping.

Then, as if drawn by an unseen force, I stood up and followed her.

The girl led me through a series of white-walled alleys, their backs painted a soft sky-blue.

Palm trees sprouted here and there, casting long shadows in the fading sunlight.

She wore a simple linen dress, her petite frame moving lightly ahead of me.

I watched her small figure as she walked, her presence both delicate and strangely surreal.

We reached a long staircase. At the top, she paused and turned back, holding out her hand.

I hesitated for only a second before taking it.

Hand in hand, we climbed the steps together.

There were many, but each was low and easy to ascend.

At the very back of the neighborhood, nestled among identical square-shaped houses, stood one with a small, flower-adorned door.

And she pushed it open.

There are no door-like partitions inside the house, and I am led to a room through a tapestry embroidered with leaves. It has iron bars and is covered with sheer white muslin curtains. The curtains soften the intense evening sunlight streaming through the small window by the wall.
Though translucent, I caught a glimpse of a girl’s face, and it was the girl who had just placed a flower garland around my neck. She was sitting on something that looked like a bed.
I was feeling faint, and around me, there were strange, colorful birds dancing as if they were from another world, and I couldn’t speak. When the girl opened the curtain, there was a chair placed in front of the iron bars, and she instructed me to sit. As I sat down, the curtain touched my back. I had the intention to say something, and my mouth was moving, but it seemed like no sound was coming out. My mood was rather very good, and I was enveloped
The girl behind the iron bars is with another girl who gave her a flower crown, but the other girl is facing the opposite direction, so her face is not visible. I sensed a man’s presence on the other side, but it didn’t bother me much.
The girl who brought me here entered the iron bars and whispered something to the girl who had given her the flower decoration. Then the girl came out from the iron bars. She was wearing only a thin slip, almost completely naked. However, my body felt so heavy that I couldn’t move, and I felt a languid desire not to stand up.
The girl is sitting across from me in the iron bars. She has taken off the dress she was wearing and is now in a thin slip. Slowly, she lifts her legs and gently spreads them apart. With both hands, she touches her thighs from bottom to top, and then moves further inside. With very smooth movements, the girl touches her own body, seeming to enjoy it. Sometimes, she leaves her mouth slightly open, looking at me with inviting eyes.
I became engrossed in the acts taking place just thirty centimeters beyond the iron bars. Even though my consciousness was hazy, I couldn’t take my eyes off the girl’s actions for even a second. The frustrating distance that kept me from getting closer only made it all the more sweet.
I am toying with the girl through my vision. What on earth is this, how did it come to this, I know I’m in a terrifying place, but my consciousness can’t escape.
I feel like I was watching the girl’s actions for a while. I didn’t do anything out of impulse. When I realized it, I was back in the place where the girls had called out to me. I apparently sat on a bench in the shade, dazed.
Memories from long ago, I had completely forgotten them. Why am I remembering them now? As I hold Suu in my arms, I also recall that girl at the same time.
This might be the trigger that unconsciously makes me always yearn for girls.
The next day, when I realized it, it seemed both of us had been sleeping, and a deceptively peaceful morning had come. Next to the bed, Suu was sleeping quietly, breathing softly.