The Crybaby Always Wants to Redeem the Villainess - Chapter 17

Xiao Yi took a sip herself to taste it. It’s not even that bitter. Why won’t Rou’er drink her medicine?

Just as Xiao Yi was puzzling over what to do, she heard a knock at the door.

“That little bastard! How dare he disturb this grand lady?”

Then came the Bandit Leader’s obsequious voice, “Grand Lady, it’s me. I’ve brought those people to your courtyard. They’re kneeling outside. Do you have any further instructions?”

“Come in!”

“Yes, Grand Lady!” The Bandit Leader bowed low as he pushed the door open, first poking his head in to glance at Xiao Yi before slowly entering and closing the door behind him.

“Grand Lady, what are your orders?”

“Fill a waterskin with water and get some chili powder. Never mind.” Xiao Yi had initially planned to have him prepare items to prank the kneeling group, but then realized he wouldn’t understand and likely couldn’t find everything anyway.

“Alright, that’s all. You can leave now. I’ll check on them myself later!”

“Ah, very well!” The Bandit Leader glanced at the medicine bowl in Xiao Yi’s hand, hesitated, and asked, “Granny, are you feeding her medicine?”

“Are you blind? Can’t you see that? Why even ask?”

“Ah, heh heh, this humble one can see now. Miss can’t swallow it, right? This humble one has an idea for Granny!”

Xiao Yi… “? Spit it out!”

“Why not just drink it yourself and then pass it to Miss? It’s not like you haven’t kissed her before!”

“Get out! What kind of rotten idea is that?”

“Alright, alright, this humble one will take his leave!” The Bandit Leader muttered under his breath as he walked out, Xiao Yi, you’ve kissed her before, stop pretending!

The moment the door closed, Xiao Yi looked at the medicine bowl, then at Gu Zhirou’s

Xiao Yi took a sip of the medicine herself, then slowly leaned in toward Gu Zhirou. The moment their lips touched, Xiao Yi startled herself, but she still managed to transfer the liquid.

Clutching her wildly pounding heart, Xiao Yi cursed herself inwardly for being such a coward. Here I am, the nation’s top female tyrant, and I’m blushing like a schoolgirl after just kissing a little girl!

To be honest, her reputation as a “female tyrant” was all talk and no action. The whole “bisexual” thing? She was completely innocent! This was her first real kiss with anyone!

Glancing at the half-bowl of medicine remaining, she gathered her thoughts and patiently spoon-fed the rest to the girl.

After finishing, Xiao Yi’s mind raced, her face flushed crimson, and her heart pounded. She quickly laid Gu Zhirou back on the bed, tucked her in, rubbed her burning cheeks, and fled the room. Only when she stepped outside did the cool breeze finally bring some relief to her overheated face.

But the sight of the kneeling figures at the gate instantly reignited her fury. She wanted to deal with them right then and there.

“Go fetch your boss,” Xiao Yi barked at the lackeys in the courtyard, pointing imperiously. “Tell him to get his ass to the kitchen, and make it snappy! He’ll regret it if he’s late!”

“Yes, yes, yes!”

Xiao Yi yanked on the rope binding the group, her expression icy and her voice chillingly cold. “You’re from the kitchen, right? Let’s go!”

She dragged and pulled the men to the kitchen courtyard.

The Bandit Leader scrambled over, panting heavily as he reached the doorway. He leaned against the doorframe and gasped, “Great Aunt, I’m not late, am I?”

“No. Get over here!”

“Yes, ma’am!” The Bandit Leader hurried to Xiao Yi, his face fawning. “What are your orders, Great Aunt?”

“Tie those four to that tree.”

The Bandit Leader turned to his men. “What are you waiting for? Didn’t you hear Great Aunt’s command?”

Before he could finish, Xiao Yi’s slow, deliberate voice cut through the air. “I meant you to do it, not them.”

“Me?” The Bandit Leader pointed at his own nose. “You want me to do it?”

Xiao Yi frowned. “Are you suggesting I go?”

“Ah, no, no, no! Don’t, don’t, don’t! I’ll go right now, right now!” The Bandit Leader, still gasping for breath, scurried over and tied the group to a large tree.

Xiao Yi entered the kitchen, where the clanging of pots and pans filled the air. After rummaging around for a while, she emerged with several bottles and jars in her hands.

“Your mouths stink!” she said, handing the Bandit Leader a damp rag. “Stuff it in their mouths. I don’t want to hear their crow-like squawking!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

The Bandit Leader and the others in the courtyard assumed it was just a rag. But the moment the cloth entered their mouths, tears streamed down the faces of the four captives, followed by snot and other unsightly fluids.

Xiao Yi grimaced in disgust. “So ugly!”

“Who gave you the courage to harass my people, looking like such hideous ghosts? Hmm?!”

“I swear, your brains must have been kicked by a donkey! Or did I not make myself clear enough when I came to Clearwind Stronghold before? Was I not ruthless enough? Did I give you the impression that Xiao Yi is some kind of pushover?!”

The Bandit Leader scowled, spitting, “Pah! Why the hell did I save you disgusting wretches? You’re crying and snotting before the Lady even lifts a finger! What a disgrace to manhood!” He spat on them several more times for good measure.

The four men suffered in silence, unable to voice their torment. Not lifted a finger? Is this what you call “not lifting a finger”?

What exactly had this female tyrant done to them? Only she knew. Their mouths felt like they were burning from the inside out!

Xiao Yi placed the bottles and jars on a table, counting them one by one. Then, feigning casual curiosity, she asked, “Hmm, what’s this one? I was so busy earlier, I forgot what it is. What should I do?”

“Come, come, whatever it is, you should taste it first!” With that, she grabbed a random bottle and splashed its contents onto one of the men’s faces.

Xiao Yi wore an expression of feigned innocence, as if seeking an answer. “Isn’t it wonderfully sour and refreshing?”

The man’s face instantly swelled into a pig-like mass. Xiao Yi glanced at him and declared to the Bandit Leader with mock seriousness, “Look, your backyard sow finally found a mate!”

The Bandit Leader’s lips twitched. “Y-yes, yes, you’re right, Auntie.”

She grabbed another bottle and turned to the other man. “Oh dear, you need to drink this. Otherwise, you won’t be able to taste anything.”

As Xiao Yi approached with the bottle, the man began to tremble violently. Does this female tyrant have to be so terrifying?

But he was now like a fish on a chopping block, completely at Xiao Yi’s mercy.

Xiao Yi yanked the gag from his mouth, pinched his jaw, and poured the entire contents of the bottle down his throat in one go.

The man proved surprisingly clever, refusing to swallow. With a mere glance from Xiao Yi, the Bandit Leader immediately tickled the man’s armpit. The man instantly gulped down the liquid, then screamed in terror,

“Aaaaaaaah!”

“What are you screaming for? Auntie personally cooked this! You should feel honored!”

Moments later, the man’s stomach began to cramp violently, followed by a cacophony of flatulence and explosive diarrhea.

Xiao Yi shot him a disgusted look before turning to the man who had tried to touch Xiao Rou’er.

“Your courage is commendable! Even women I, Xiao Yi, have discarded are off-limits to others. If I’ve thrown them away, no one else is allowed to touch them. I have a well-known obsession with cleanliness. How could you be so clueless?”

Xiao Yi grabbed two large scallions and shoved them into the man’s nostrils. She then stuck incense sticks into the scallions, lit them, and quickly the man was choking on the acrid smoke, his head spinning.

“You know, it’s a waste for you to be a bandit. You’d be better off becoming a eunuch,” she said, delivering a vicious kick to his groin. When she realized she’d missed, she followed up with another kick, effectively castrating him.

Now, Xiao Yi had grown up in military camps since childhood, so she undoubtedly possessed martial skills. How could she possibly have missed?

But if she said she missed, then she missed!

Watching the man scream in agony, Xiao Yi’s lips twitched. “Oops, I didn’t hold back enough. I’ll be more careful next time!”

“It’s been so long since I’ve fought, I’m getting rusty!”