The Crybaby Always Wants to Redeem the Villainess - Chapter 9

In the main hall of the General’s Estate, Luo Anche sat at the head of the table, while Xiao Yi lounged to his lower left, her legs crossed in a distinctly roguish manner.

The scene made everyone uneasy. Knowing she had thoroughly frightened her family today, Xiao Yi spoke up, “Your Majesty came to see me, not you. What are you all doing here? You’re just getting in the way!”

The others… This was the Emperor himself! How could they leave without his permission? Her words made it sound like they had come willingly.

The group turned to Luo Anche, but his expression remained impassive as he quietly sipped his tea.

They nodded and said, “Since Your Majesty is here to see the Eldest Miss, we’ll take our leave. Eldest Miss, please entertain His Majesty properly.”

“Wait a moment,” Xiao Yi called out. “Tell the kitchen to prepare some delicacies. I intend to treat His Majesty to a proper feast.”

Though terrified, Xiao Yun mustered his courage and said, “Eldest Sister, should I stay?” He feared she might say something inappropriate and anger the Emperor, who might then have her executed.

He knew he couldn’t offer much help, but he could at least remind her to be careful. The others could flee, but she was his Eldest Sister, his own flesh and bl00d. He couldn’t abandon her.

Xiao Yi brushed him off. “Oh, no need. Just go about your business.”

“Oh,” Xiao Yun replied, sounding somewhat disappointed.

Seeing this, the others fled the hall as if their lives depended on it. Hmph, they’d be lucky to be asked to stay anyway, they thought, acting as if they’d been deliberately dragged along. Xiao Yi is courting disaster; we don’t want to be implicated!

Xiao Yi turned to the servants still in the hall. “What are you standing around for? Serve tea and water! Can’t you see what’s needed?”

The maids… Ha! They’d be lucky to be asked! They scurried away.

Soon, only Xiao Yi and Luo Anche remained in the hall, staring at each other in awkward silence. Before long, maids returned with tea, pastries, and a full meal.

“You may all leave now,” Xiao Yi instructed. “Guard the door. If I need anything, I’ll call for you.”

“Yes, Miss!”

Xiao Yi glanced at Luo Anche, who hadn’t touched his chopsticks. “Eat! What are you waiting for? You arrived so early, you must be starving. Now that you’re the Emperor, how can I possibly eat before you?”

Luo Anche rolled his eyes. “Since when do you care about such formalities? Drop the act, Xiao Yi. There’s no one here!”

Xiao Yi picked up her chopsticks and began eating. “I wasn’t putting on an act anyway!”

After devouring the meal, Luo Anche asked Xiao Yi, “I’m here, but we need to make some noise. You’re full of schemes. What’s the plan now?”

Xiao Yi grinned mischievously. “Senior Brother, that’s called cleverness, not ‘ghostly schemes.'”

“Alright, alright, alright. Whatever you say. If you want to call it cleverness, fine. What’s the next step?” Luo Anche replied dismissively, clearly exasperated.

“Senior Brother, are you sure you want me to come up with the plan?” Xiao Yi’s smile sent shivers down his spine.

“Yes, I’m sure. Just do whatever you think is best.”

“You said it!” Xiao Yi’s smile turned even more malevolent.

“I’m certain. Hurry up, I need to get back to the palace to review official documents!” Luo Anche grew impatient.

“Senior Brother, what kind of reputation do I have outside the capital?”

Luo Anche recalled the rumors from the countryside, his lips twitching and his expression momentarily awkward. He stammered, “They say you humiliate soldiers in the barracks, even going after the boars. A regular at gambling dens, poisoning people, shameless, a scourge on the common folk… In short, you’re a master of gambling, prostitution, and drugs!”

Xiao Yi clicked her tongue twice. “I never imagined I’d be seen as such a formidable figure in the eyes of the public.”

Luo Anche… Formidable? What’s going on in this girl’s head?

“So, what’s your point?”

“Hehe, Senior Brother, you’d better brace yourself!”

Luo Anche was still wondering what she was up to when Xiao Yi stood up, walked over to him, and pinched his cheek hard.

“Ah!” Luo Anche yelped in pain. “Xiao Yi, you’re asking for it!”

Xiao Yi quickly retreated, lowering her voice. “I told you we’re starting. If you don’t want our plan to fail, cooperate obediently. After all, you wouldn’t want me to kiss your cheek, so I had no choice but to pinch you red.” She said this with an air of righteous indignation.

Luo Anche gritted his teeth, clutching his pinched cheek. “You’d better not give me any leverage!”

Ignoring his threat, Xiao Yi cleared her throat and shouted at the top of her lungs:

“Oh my, Your Majesty, what’s wrong? Your face is so red! Ah, our Emperor is truly exceptionally handsome, loved by all!”

“Hey, Your Majesty, don’t hide! What do you think of me? This Miss can warm your bed!”

“Just let me kiss you once! You won’t lose anything!”

The maids and servants outside the door nearly collapsed in shock at these outrageous words. How could their Eldest Miss dare to say such things? Were such words even appropriate to utter casually?

“Can Your Majesty be trifled with so casually?”

“And with her reputation, daring to covet the Son of Heaven? It’s a mercy she hasn’t been executed already.”

“The Emperor’s wrath brings rivers of corpses. We don’t want to be caught in the crossfire.” They hastily retreated to the far corners of the hall.

Luo Anche chimed in, playing along. “Xiao Yi, do you believe I wouldn’t order your execution? Try moving again and see what happens!”

“Your Majesty, how can you be so unchivalrous? No wonder you still don’t have an Empress. Shall this Miss teach you a thing or two?”

The pair stood in the hall, trading barbs in perfect harmony. To outsiders, it seemed the sky was about to fall, yet within the hall, the atmosphere was eerily calm.

“Xiao Yi, shut up!” Luo Anche hissed, his voice strained. “Are you done yet? If this goes on any longer, I’m going to throw up!”

Xiao Yi nodded and sidled up to Luo Anche, tugging forcefully at his robes until they were disheveled and his hair was a mess.

Luo Anche stared at her, his face flushed with confusion. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing much,” Xiao Yi replied in a low voice. “But you need to make a very disheveled escape from the General’s Estate, understand? When you return to the palace, the aftermath will be so intense you’ll have to lie low for days. Got it?”

After finalizing their plan, Luo Anche clutched his hair with one hand and his chest with the other, fleeing from the General’s Estate.

Two bright red lip prints still marked his cheeks as Xiao Yi chased after him, her face flushed with excitement, shouting, “Your Majesty! I’m Xiao Yi, and I’m here to warm your bed!”

All who witnessed this scene along the way knelt trembling on the ground, their bodies shaking like sieves. The General’s Estate was doomed!

Luo Anche scrambled into his carriage, urging the driver to hurry back to the palace.

Xiao Yi pursued relentlessly, but the carriage sped away too quickly. Just then, several dogs happened to cross her path, blocking her way and preventing her from catching up.

Enraged, Xiao Yi tied up the dogs and berated them fiercely.

“You ungrateful mutts! Can’t you see the situation? Don’t you know you’re blocking Miss’s path?”

“I was so close to sleeping with the Son of Heaven! You stupid, useless creatures had to block my way and ruin my chances!”

Her tirade grew less spirited, and she ended up feeding all the aphrodisiacs she carried to the dogs.

In the hours that followed, the street echoed with the pitiful howls of the afflicted canines.