The Detective is Useless (GL) - Chapter 10

After a good night’s sleep, Tian Sisi had completely forgotten whatever happened in her dreams, leaving Jin Yujue the only one who’d spent half the night frightened out of her wits. What a troublesome child.

By the time Tian Sisi woke up—it was already noon. She looked energetic, washed her face, brushed her teeth, stretched lazily, and went downstairs to look for something to eat. When she spotted Jin Yujue slumped over the dining table, looking utterly lifeless with huge dark circles under her eyes, Tian Sisi couldn’t help but laugh and tease loudly, “Hey, panda!”

Jin Yujue shot her a sharp glare and said coldly, “Don’t come near me.”

“Oh? Is it that time of the month?” Tian Sisi grinned and ignored her warning, walking past her to rummage through the fridge.

When Jin Yujue heard the word “relative,” her first thought wasn’t about a menstrual period—but about the ghostly “Kong Ling” that supposedly didn’t exist. She froze for a moment, still uneasy, but forced herself to stay calm and rolled her eyes at Tian Sisi without replying.

Tian Sisi took out a plate of salad—probably something Jin Yujue had prepared earlier that morning, though it looked like she hadn’t eaten much of it.

After eating a few bites, Tian Sisi kept glancing up at Jin Yujue, who remained expressionless, deliberately turning her head away to avoid eye contact.

Thinking Jin Yujue was angry, Tian Sisi decided to come clean. “Alright, fine. Yesterday I was just pretending to be a ghost to scare you. Sorry, okay?”

“What?” Jin Yujue turned around in disbelief. “You were pretending?” Talking to thin air could be faked, sure—but how did the flickering lights fit into that?

“I was just playing around! Wanted to scare you a little. You hit me so hard before… I didn’t think you’d actually believe it!” Tian Sisi blinked her big, innocent eyes.

“The lights on the stairs—was that you too?” Jin Yujue asked, frowning.

“Mm… there’s an app that lets you control them remotely…” Tian Sisi said timidly, shrinking her neck a little—Jin Yujue’s glare looked murderous.

“You think that’s fun?!” Jin Yujue snapped. No wonder she couldn’t sleep last night. Of course, the sleepwalking part—Tian Sisi didn’t even realize that had happened. But Jin Yujue didn’t know that, and she wasn’t about to let it go.

She stood up, ready to hit Tian Sisi, but Tian Sisi had good reflexes—dodging quickly while clutching her salad bowl in one hand and a plastic spoon in the other, dashing away. Jin Yujue immediately chased after her, trying to land a hit.

Though the detective agency wasn’t large, Tian Sisi was small and nimble, darting around like a monkey. After several minutes of chasing, Jin Yujue only managed to land a single hit, panting heavily afterward. How was the girl still moving so fast while holding a salad?

“Stop right there, Tian!” Jin Yujue shouted furiously.

Tian Sisi actually stopped, muttering softly, “Alright then, I’ll let you hit me once.” She put the plastic spoon in her mouth, held out one hand, and shut her eyes tightly.

Seeing that, Jin Yujue’s anger faded a bit—but a lesson had to be taught, or she’d do it again.

She slapped Tian Sisi’s palm hard. The pain made Tian Sisi immediately pull her hand back, pouting as she looked at the red mark. When she saw Jin Yujue raise her hand again, she quickly cried out, “I won’t do it again!”

In truth, Jin Yujue had only meant to scare her. Just then, the office phone rang. Tian Sisi took the chance to bolt away, calling out, “Phone! Answer the phone!”

Jin Yujue shook her head helplessly—what a hopeless child.

When she answered the call, her expression brightened—finally, the detective agency had business! A private client, no less!

“Finally!” she sighed with relief after hanging up.

“Finally, the one I longed for returns, finally—” Tian Sisi began to sing dramatically again. Jin Yujue rolled her eyes. “You’ve got an accent and still insist on singing? Your pronunciation’s bad enough—your pitch isn’t any better.” With a smack, she rapped Tian Sisi on the head. “We finally have a private case. Please, try to act professional for once.”

“What kind of case is it?” Tian Sisi rubbed her head.

“Taking photos of businessman Long Weiyan cheating with his mistress, so his wife, Shen Ruoying, can use the evidence in a divorce.” Jin Yujue opened her laptop as she spoke. “The client is Shen Ruoying herself—she said she’s already sent all the documents to our email.”

“Being paparazzi sounds boring,” Tian Sisi muttered, unimpressed.

“Well, you’re boring anyway. Just do your job properly,” Jin Yujue said seriously, downloading the files.

“I’m super interesting—you’re the boring one, you repressed weirdo,” Tian Sisi grumbled under her breath.

After a while, Jin Yujue finished reviewing the materials, jotting down key details in her notebook. The client called again to confirm she had transferred the deposit to their account. Checking online, Jin Yujue saw the payment had indeed gone through—the client clearly wanted results fast.

“After you finish the dishes, get changed. We’re going shopping,” Jin Yujue said.

Tian Sisi pouted but obeyed, changing into a T-shirt with Donald Duck printed on it. Jin Yujue put a hand to her forehead—how childish. No matter, they were going shopping anyway; time for a makeover.

At the department store, Jin Yujue used Tian Sisi as a mannequin, holding clothes up against her and comparing colors. She bought her two sets of business suits and a casual blazer—something to make her look more mature and trustworthy to clients. Tian Sisi could only sigh and go along.

But when they reached the shoe section, Jin Yujue insisted that Tian Sisi throw away her worn-out boots and get new ones. To her surprise, Tian Sisi’s face turned icy cold, like she’d seen an enemy. “No. Absolutely not.”

Confused, Jin Yujue said, “I’m paying for everything—clothes, shoes, socks—you don’t have to spend a cent. Look at your boots! The suede’s gone, your toes are almost showing, and the heels are two-thirds worn down!”

“Anything else can change—but not the shoes,” Tian Sisi said firmly.

Seeing how stubborn she was, Jin Yujue softened her tone. “They’re the classic Timberlands, right? I’ll buy you the same pair, exactly the same model, okay?”

“I want these ones,” Tian Sisi replied, unyielding. They stared at each other for a long moment before Jin Yujue finally gave up. No use arguing with her.

Ignoring her stubbornness, Jin Yujue continued shopping—she picked out an elegant silk shawl and a pair of fashionable heels for herself. After their spree, they hit a supermarket for some special-effects makeup supplies and wigs before heading home satisfied.

Back at the office, Jin Yujue found a white polo shirt for Tian Sisi to wear. Even paired with the same jeans, she looked a bit more mature. Jin Yujue tried to put makeup on her, but Tian Sisi refused outright, so she compromised and gave her a pair of sunglasses instead.

Jin Yujue changed into a chic office-lady outfit. With a shawl over her shoulders and new heels, she looked like a mix between a capable executive and a wealthy young woman trying to prove her independence.

After finishing her makeup, she looked like a completely different person—seductive, almost like the kind of mistress character in a TV drama. Tian Sisi frowned—she didn’t like it—but Jin Yujue knew this was exactly the kind of face that men found irresistible, even if other women didn’t.

“Do we really have to dress up like this? It’s just a spy job,” Tian Sisi complained.

“If you don’t understand, don’t talk. Just focus on the surveillance later and don’t mess it up,” Jin Yujue replied, smiling slightly. She took out a pen camera, clipped it to her chest pocket, and attached a pinhole camera to Tian Sisi’s belt, covering it with her shirt. Then she put a Bluetooth earpiece in Tian Sisi’s left ear and a tiny microphone on her own collar. All set, they headed out.

They waited two hours in the car outside the target’s company. Bored, Tian Sisi fell asleep, while Jin Yujue stayed alert and observant.

Finally, the target appeared. Jin Yujue quickly woke Tian Sisi. The man got into a luxury car; Jin Yujue followed at a safe distance until he stopped in front of a hotel.

She called Tian Sisi’s phone and pressed “answer” for her.

“I’m going inside to see if he’s meeting his lover. You stay here and keep the Bluetooth on. Listen for my instructions,” Jin Yujue ordered like a true professional.

Tian Sisi nodded. Perfect—waiting in the car was much better than catching adulterers in action.

A few minutes later, Jin Yujue seemed to have gotten close to the target. Tian Sisi listened carefully—it sounded like a group of men were making crude comments about women.

Then Jin Yujue’s voice came quietly through the line: “Recording. The one who said ‘women are all cheap’—that’s Long.” Tian Sisi obediently hit the record button on her phone.

Inside the hotel’s Western restaurant, Jin Yujue ordered a drink and pretended to be waiting for someone while secretly watching the target.

Soon after, a flashy-looking woman arrived and sat beside the businessman. From their intimacy, Jin Yujue was sure this was his mistress. She pretended to text while discreetly snapping photos of their affectionate behavior.

After a while, she decided that was enough evidence for the day. Speaking softly, she said, “Hang up and call me again.”

Tian Sisi did so. When the phone rang, Jin Yujue answered in a sweet, flirty tone, loud enough for the target to hear: “Oh, Mr. Chen, you’re busy? That’s such a shame! Let’s meet next time, okay?”

Her sugary tone made Tian Sisi’s skin crawl, but it worked—Long Weiyan finally noticed her. Their eyes met, and he gave her a small nod and a smile—clearly intrigued. Jin Yujue pretended not to notice, quickly paid her bill, and left before he could send someone to follow her.

Good, she thought. If he takes the bait and tries to approach her later, any offer of “arrangement” could become valuable evidence in court.