The Detective is Useless (GL) - Chapter 12

“You’re still playing video games! Miss Shen said she wants to speak to the person in charge.”
Jin Yunjue marched forward and snatched the game console out of Tian Sisi’s hands. Ever since Aqi lent her that console, the little brat had been playing every single night—staying up late gaming and then sleeping all day. Today was the last straw: Jin Yunjue had already been up for ages, and it was nearly noon, yet this kid was still gaming. That wasn’t staying up late anymore—it was staying up through the day. Keep this up, and soon she’d be in the news for dying of gaming exhaustion!

Tian Sisi, who had been lying sideways on the sofa, sat up and reached for the console. Jin Yunjue made a motion like she was about to smash it on the floor, and Tian Sisi quickly withdrew her hand, pouting.
“Which Miss Shen?” she asked.

“Shen Ruoying. Long Weiyan’s wife,” Jin Yunjue replied irritably.

“You can handle her yourself,” Tian Sisi said, curling her lip. It wasn’t her job to deal with clients—she’d never even heard Shen Ruoying’s voice before.

Jin Yunjue put both hands on Tian Sisi’s shoulders.
“Tell me, what’s more important—our client or your game?”

“The client,” Tian Sisi muttered, head lowered.

“Then why are you still playing!?” Jin Yunjue snapped.

“Because I don’t dare hit clients—I can only hit the game,” Tian Sisi said innocently.

“Tian! Si! Si!” Jin Yunjue was about to lose it.

Tian Sisi glanced at the fuming Jin Yunjue, shrank her neck back, and said, “Hey, don’t get mad—you’ll wrinkle your forehead. Be good, don’t be angry. I’ll go take the call, okay?”

“The phone’s on the desk. I put it on silent, so turn the volume back up when you answer,” Jin Yunjue sighed, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

Honestly, she didn’t even want Tian Sisi to answer. That girl had no sense of decorum—who knew what she might blurt out. But Shen Ruoying had insisted on personally thanking the “person in charge,” so she had no choice but to let Tian Sisi handle it. She could only pray Sisi didn’t say anything stupid or offend their client. It had taken so long to finally land one! Rare for a rich wife like Shen Ruoying to hire Tian Detective Agency—a small, unknown firm with barely any business or reputation. Perhaps she was deliberately keeping things quiet so Long Weiyan wouldn’t find out. She’d only ever contacted them by phone and sent documents via email—never once showed up in person.

“Mm-hmm. She must’ve gotten a big chunk of the inheritance,” Tian Sisi said lazily, lying back on the sofa with the phone. She yawned. “She said we did a great job and she’s giving us a twenty percent bonus as a reward.”

“That’s great! We won’t have to worry about expenses for the next couple of months,” Jin Yunjue said cheerfully, opening her laptop and logging into the online bank.

Tian Sisi’s eyelids grew heavier—she was about to fall asleep.

“Huh, and the bonus from the last case came in too,” Jin Yunjue smiled, then frowned, tilting her head in thought. Something felt off. She patted Tian Sisi. “Hey, be honest—why do we seem to be getting paid too easily?”

“Not many certified detectives around,” Tian Sisi mumbled, turning over to face away.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Jin Yunjue prodded her.

“Probability. Higher chance of getting paid,” Tian Sisi muttered sleepily.

“That’s not how probability works! The contract terms clearly weren’t this casual—”

“Ugh, another call…” Tian Sisi groaned, fumbling for the ringing phone that was under her. She glanced at the caller ID and handed it to Jin Yunjue, saying lazily, “It’s Liu. You take it.”

Then she closed her eyes again. Whether it was serious or not, she didn’t care—whatever trouble Liu Yu got into, he could deal with it himself. She just wanted to sleep, drift off into a world where she didn’t have to think.

But of course Jin Yunjue wasn’t going to let her. After hanging up, she shook Tian Sisi hard. When that didn’t work, she shook harder until Sisi opened her eyes and grumbled, “I want to sleep!”

Jin Yunjue yanked her upright. “A murder just happened at the Seasons Hotel. Brother Liu wants us there to assist with the investigation. So no sleep—move it!”

“It better be an actual murder,” Tian Sisi muttered through a yawn. Liu Yu tended to exaggerate. For all she knew, it could be a suicide or a natural death. If it wasn’t a murder, she’d make sure he paid for disturbing her nap.

Jin Yunjue practically shoved her into the car. Thankfully, the ride was long enough for Sisi to nap a little.

She was still half-asleep when they arrived at the crime scene—a business suite in the Seasons Hotel. As soon as the elevator doors opened, they saw police tape and a flurry of officers moving about. Okay, so maybe it really was a big deal.

Liu Yu spotted them, handed them gloves, and led them inside as he explained,
“The victim is Chen Xiaoyan, a well-known rich playboy. Cause of death: cerebral hemorrhage—definitely homicide. The hotel staff found him this morning around ten, after noticing his door wasn’t closed properly. Estimated time of death is between six and eight a.m. Motive unknown.”

“Where’s the body?” Jin Yunjue asked.

“Already sent to forensics,” Liu Yu said, pointing at the bed, where a white rope outlined a human shape. “He was found lying on the bed like he was sleeping. But here’s the weird thing—he wasn’t wearing any pants.”

Jin Yunjue looked over the scene. Though the body had been on the bed, the largest bloodstains weren’t there. The pillow had barely any bl00d, which meant the bleeding had nearly stopped by the time he was moved. So—the body had been repositioned. But why were there smears of bl00d at the foot of the bed, as if someone had intentionally spread it there?

The room was a mess—signs of a struggle. The bedsheet was on the floor, the vase shattered, cups and plates knocked off the table. The phone and billing folder that should’ve been on the bedside table were also on the ground.

“So, was it the vase that killed him?” Jin Yunjue asked.

“The coroner says the fatal wound was made by a blunt object about the size of a bun—not the vase,” Liu Yu said. He motioned them over to the TV. “Come take a look at this—security footage.”

He turned on the screen and nodded to an officer. A grainy black-and-white video appeared, showing a tall figure in a long coat and fedora, carrying a briefcase—typical business attire except for the hat.

“This man—the one running away—is the killer? Hard to see anything in black and white…” Jin Yunjue frowned. “Wait—why’s there no earlier footage?”

“The hotel’s security system glitched,” Liu Yu said, ruffling his hair. “A power line in the control room went down, so the cameras stopped for about an hour—right when the suspect and victim probably entered the room.”

“No footage of them entering the hotel either?”

“None.” He gestured for another replay. “The suspect left by the back stairwell. He turned left, toward the service room and smoke door—that door leads to the back stairs connecting other floors. No cameras there. And the hallway camera on the lower level didn’t catch him coming out either.”

No footage of entry, no footage of exit—this hotel’s security was pathetic.

The next video showed the hotel lobby.
“People leaving by the back stairs or elevator all appear from the right side of this frame,” Liu Yu said. “But the man from the earlier clip never appears here at all.”

Jin Yunjue and Liu Yu replayed the clips several times—still nothing.

“Did the front desk staff see the victim come in with anyone?” Jin Yunjue asked.

“They said he’s a regular here. He came in alone in the afternoon to get his room card. Later that night, they think they saw him again, but aren’t sure if it was really him. He often brings different companions, so they didn’t pay attention. Plus, it was Friday night—lots of tour groups arriving, total chaos,” Liu Yu said helplessly.

Up until now, Tian Sisi had been silent. Then she spoke up,
“The door was locked from the inside, and there are no windows. Looks like a locked-room murder. How did the killer get out—and how did he make it look like no one could’ve left?”

She even struck a dramatic pose, like the detective in Galileo.

Jin Yunjue rolled her eyes. Seeing Sisi’s ridiculous stance made her sigh even harder. “Hotel doors here use keycards. They lock automatically when shut. You can open from the inside without a card, but from outside you need one. That’s common sense. Were you too sleepy to notice?”

Ignoring her, Tian Sisi continued,
“If the victim entered alone and no one else came in afterward, that means… someone was already inside the room.”

“You mean the killer was already there?” Liu Yu asked.

“That’s right. They must’ve climbed in through the window and escaped the same way—with a rope!” Tian Sisi declared confidently.

Jin Yunjue smacked her on the head. “You just said there’s no window! Did you leave your brain at home!?”

Tian Sisi pouted and wandered off, poking around here and there. Good thing she had gloves on—or she’d be contaminating the evidence.

Meanwhile, Liu Yu questioned the hotel manager for more details.

Then they suddenly heard Tian Sisi’s voice again:
“Ugh, why are there so many ants in this hotel…”

“Uh…” The manager followed her gaze and bent down to look. A line of ants was marching toward the wall. One particular spot in the carpet had a larger cluster—apparently drawn to some light blue crumbs. “Ah, must be poor cleaning. I’m terribly sorry,” he said, bowing apologetically.

Tian Sisi waved a hand dismissively. Whether it was clean or not wasn’t her concern—she just didn’t like insects crawling around.

She moved to another corner, then called out again,
“Huh, is this diamond real or fake?”

“Don’t touch that!” Jin Yunjue barked. Tian Sisi froze mid-pose. “Don’t destroy evidence!” Jin Yunjue snatched the gem from her and turned to Liu Yu to examine it.

“Relax, chili pepper,” Tian Sisi teased, sticking her tongue out.

“Who are you calling chili pepper?” Jin Yunjue glared.

“You, of course,” Tian Sisi said playfully. “You’re spicy.”

“Get. Out.” Jin Yunjue snapped, refusing to even look at her.

Honestly, bringing her along had been a mistake. But she had to—Jin Yunjue was just an assistant, and without a certified detective present, she wouldn’t be allowed inside the scene. Still… if Tian Sisi wandered off for a bit, surely no one would kick her out, right? Especially with Liu Yu there.

Tian Sisi shrugged. Fine, Miss Chili Pepper wanted her gone—good. More time to relax.

As she stepped out of the room, she suddenly felt the urge to exercise. Taking the stairs seemed healthier anyway. It was only the eighth floor—not too bad.