The Detective is Useless (GL) - Chapter 2

With Liu Yu’s help, Jin Yunjue felt much more at ease. Walking at the very front was Tian Sisi, which conveniently allowed Jin Yunjue to openly study this once-renowned detective shrouded in mystery. To call Tian Sisi “mysterious” wasn’t exactly accurate—when she rose to fame, her name was on everyone’s lips. Newspapers and magazines had run numerous reports about her, even publishing her background information and photographs. But then, all of a sudden, it was as if everyone lost interest in her. Starting five years ago, there were no more reports at all. Even Tian Yi didn’t have any recent photos of his granddaughter, saying only that she disliked having her picture taken.

Recalling the data she had read, Jin Yunjue couldn’t reconcile it with the little rascal swaggering in front of her now. The person in front of her seemed like a completely different being compared to the famed young detective. If she hadn’t been switched at birth, and wasn’t a twin, there were only two possible explanations: either Tian Sisi had undergone a tremendous change in the past few years, or she had always been like this, only concealing it back then. But that was a question for later—right now Jin Yunjue was getting tired, and they hadn’t even reached the detective agency yet.

“This place seems kind of remote.” Jin Yunjue glanced around. They had turned through several alleys already, with no tall buildings in sight—only squat houses surrounded by tall trees.

At the front, Tian Sisi glanced back at her and said as she walked, “That’s the price of cheap rent. Anyway, clients who come to a detective agency all have special needs. They’re not looking for convenience. Being away from the main street means you don’t get disturbed by all the traffic noise.”

Jin Yunjue had been about to nod in agreement, but Tian Sisi quickly added, “And if we throw parties or something, we can get noisy without worrying.”

Jin Yunjue nearly rolled her eyes.

After winding a little farther through the alley, Tian Sisi finally stopped. Liu Yu stopped too, smiling. “We’re here.”

Jin Yunjue followed his gaze. This “headquarters” was certainly low-key—a small, old single-story house with nothing but a doorplate number. No signboard announcing a detective agency. She couldn’t help asking, “This is the headquarters?”

Liu Yu nodded. When Tian Sisi finally fished out the key and opened the door, he courteously gestured. “Please, come in.”

The place leaned toward Japanese design. The first thing one saw upon entering was a small entryway. Liu Yu set Jin Yunjue’s luggage there for the moment, and brought out a brand-new pair of slippers for her. By contrast, Tian Sisi had already wandered off inside on her own. Liu Yu seemed more like the master of the place than Tian Sisi.

Leading her inside, Liu Yu explained, “Miss Jin, as you can see, the ground floor is for receiving clients and for cooking and dining. This screen here separates business from private life. That small cabinet over there is for you to store things.”

“Thank you.”

The cabinet stood at the end of the screen. Jin Yunjue glanced around. The interior was simple but tasteful—compact, yet complete in every detail. Surprisingly neat and organized, nothing like the pigsty she half-expected after meeting that rascal. “An open kitchen, too. Quite elegant.”

Wandering about, she noticed the nostalgic television set in front of the sofa—the kind where you had to open a little “door” and turn knobs to change channels. Practically an antique.

“This…” Jin Yunjue approached curiously, running her hand over it. “This TV’s just for decoration, right?”

“What do you mean ‘just decoration’? It still works! I retrofitted the internals—it can even receive digital broadcasts.” Tian Sisi strolled over sipping a soda, flipped the door open, pressed the switch, and sure enough, the fluorescent screen flickered to life, showing a TV channel in high definition! Smug, she said, “See? Pretty good, right?”

Jin Yunjue’s amazement quickly faded back into a cold look. “You’d be better off buying a new one. Look at that picture quality—full of static. Honestly, it’s unwatchable.”

“Whatever. I don’t watch it anyway—it’s just for decoration.” Tian Sisi shrugged, indifferent.

“You just said it wasn’t for decoration.”

“Did I? Oh well, who cares—it’s not important.” Tian Sisi waved it off and took another sip.

“Television is important.” Jin Yunjue sighed. The forensic drama she was following only had three episodes left to air!

Raising her brows, Tian Sisi said, “Want me to lend you my laptop?” She pulled an ancient-looking laptop from the desk drawer. Jin Yunjue stared, stunned—was that thing twenty years old?

Switching it on proudly, Tian Sisi boasted, “Don’t underestimate it! It’s got a Retina display, LED backlight, quad-core processor, 16GB RAM, 768GB flash storage—”

“Wait a minute! Did I hear that right?” Jin Yunjue blurted, genuinely astonished.

“You heard right. I wasn’t kidding. The exterior looks like a relic from the ’90s, but inside it’s cutting-edge. Old bottle, new wine—cool, huh? I rebuilt it myself. You can use it to watch TV if you want.” Her grin widened with self-satisfaction.

Jin Yunjue’s mouth twitched. She shook her head. “Thanks, but no need. I’ve got my own.” Watching on her laptop might not feel the same as on a real TV, but still better than Tian Sisi’s Frankenstein contraption.

Still, she had to admit, Tian Sisi wasn’t stupid. Her technical tinkering skills proved she wasn’t entirely useless. But Jin Yunjue was also starting to see why the agency was failing—Tian Sisi wasted her energy on toys instead of business. “Addicted to play, ruined by playthings”—now she truly understood the phrase.

If she had the means, Jin Yunjue would gladly help old Master Tian by straightening out this girl, guiding her back onto the right path. Her brother Tian Chi was diligent and reliable—how could his sister be such the opposite? If Jin Yunjue could reform Tian Sisi, making her focused and hardworking, it would be a great merit indeed. Amitabha.

Putting aside Tian Sisi’s smug delight in her own gadgets, Jin Yunjue examined the surroundings. Thanks to the high ceiling, the space had been split into two levels. The upstairs was about half the size of the downstairs—roughly equivalent to the kitchen plus the little living room—and fenced with metal railing. She liked the design: from the second floor, you could see the ground floor clearly, yet still have private space.

Liu Yu led her upstairs. “Miss Jin—”

“Brother Liu, just call me Xiao Jin.” she interrupted.

“Oh, Xiao Jin.” He smiled, opening a bathroom door. “I’ve already bought you a set of toiletries. If anything’s missing, just let me know.”

She looked inside and saw a complete set neatly arranged on the small cabinet. Smiling, she thanked him. “Thank you, Brother Liu.”

Turning back, Liu Yu frowned at the messy blanket on the bed. That girl had promised to fold it every morning! Looking embarrassed, he told Jin Yunjue, “Since space is limited, we couldn’t get another bed. I’m afraid you’ll have to make do with this sofa bed. Step back and I’ll show you.”

She stepped back, and he unfolded the sofa bed, explaining as he did, “It’s not too small once opened, but during the day it has to be folded away, otherwise there’ll be no passage to the back.” He felt bad for making her sleep there, but swapping out Tian Sisi’s double bed wasn’t an option—too many memories attached.

“Understood.” Jin Yunjue nodded, trying folding it up herself with his help.

“Hey, Xiao Jin Jin, you could just share with me. My bed’s big enough, and I don’t take up space.” Tian Sisi leaned against the stair rail, casual and cheeky.

“No thanks. I’m used to sleeping alone.”

“Habits can be changed.” she muttered.

Her refusal actually made Liu Yu breathe easier. Tian Sisi letting someone onto her bed? If she truly meant that, it would have been worrisome.

“Brother Liu, just now I noticed a door in the kitchen that seemed to lead outside. Through the little window I thought I saw a garden—is that right?” Jin Yunjue quickly changed the subject.

Smiling, Liu Yu nodded. “Yes. We can take a look. That’s Sisi’s favorite spot. It’s small, but she’s filled it with flowers—all her own work.”

Hearing her name, Tian Sisi pouted and went downstairs too, but instead of going to the garden, she plopped at her desk, watching coolly.

“She plants flowers?” Jin Yunjue sounded doubtful. Tian Sisi hardly seemed the type.

Liu Yu only smiled, leading her out. Sure enough, they stepped into a little paradise in full bloom. The modest garden was brimming with flowers, clearly well tended.

“She really did all this herself? You didn’t help at all?”

“Me? I don’t know the first thing about plants. At most I haul fertilizer home for her.” Liu Yu laughed, pride shining in his expression—pride at her handiwork impressing outsiders.

Jin Yunjue thought to herself that she would never manage. She could nearly kill a cactus—these delicate blossoms would stand no chance. She noticed fertilizer and tools neatly arranged, bamboo stakes supporting stems, and a white tarp nearby, probably for shielding against strong winds.

“Xiao Liu—” suddenly came Tian Sisi’s voice from the living room. Both turned to see her pouting. “Hungry.”

Liu Yu went over and patted her head, coaxing, “Alright, I’ll go buy something.”

Jin Yunjue rolled her eyes. What was this—a father and child scene? Tian Sisi was a grown woman, yet behaved like a child. Unacceptable.

“Brother Liu, I’ll go with you. I’d like to get to know the neighborhood.” Jin Yunjue volunteered. Honestly, she wasn’t eager to be left alone with Tian Sisi.

“Eh? Xiao Jin Jin, you’re not staying to keep me company?” Tian Sisi blinked innocently.

“Then why don’t you come with us to buy food?” Liu Yu suggested.

But Tian Sisi waved it off. “Forget it. If I go out, the mosquitoes will eat me alive. It’s not even summer yet…”

At the doorway, Liu Yu leaned close and explained quietly, “Don’t blame her. Mosquitoes love her—citronella oil doesn’t help at all. Just stepping outside, she’ll come back covered in welts.”

“Citronella oil?” Jin Yunjue realized suddenly—the odd smell on Tian Sisi was from essential oils.

“Mosquito repellent would do. Or repellent patches—they’re more convenient.”

“She says they’re not eco-friendly.” Liu Yu chuckled, lowering his voice further. “You know, once she even wore a whole string of garlic outside. Didn’t help much. I really don’t know why mosquitoes adore her so.”

Jin Yunjue’s mouth twitched. A string of garlic? Who could walk around like that without shame? Truly, Tian Sisi was a one-of-a-kind fool!