The Detective is Useless (GL) - Chapter 3

As a responsible assistant, even if her boss was unreliable, Jin Yunjue would still do her duty and try her best to turn things around.

While chatting casually with Liu Yu on the way, Jin Yunjue suddenly thought of a question:
“Brother Liu, I want to ask, is Tian Sisi the only one in the main office?”

“Yes.” Liu Yu picked up a packet of spaghetti, glanced at it, then tossed it into the shopping cart.

“But when she goes out, won’t there be no one around to greet clients?” Just like now—since she and Liu Yu were in the supermarket, that meant only Tian Sisi was left at the detective agency. If Tian Sisi went out too, wouldn’t the agency basically be a vacuum?

“You could say that. But actually… no one really comes to the detective agency.” Liu Yu chuckled, pushing the cart to another aisle.

“No one?” Jin Yunjue tilted her head in thought. “Oh, I get it, all the clients book online, right?”

“This…” Liu Yu’s face showed some difficulty. He lowered his voice and admitted: “Not even that.”

“Then what, you mean all the business is handled over the phone?”

Liu Yu gave Jin Yunjue a look that clearly said she was being too naïve. With a sigh, he explained seriously:
“Let me be honest. Actually, the detective agency has no business at all. The daily expenses, and even Sisi’s living costs, are all covered by the money I get when I hire her as a special investigator. You know that here, the police can sometimes hire licensed detectives who’ve passed the Level One exam and are on the registry list to help with cases, right?”

“Old Master Tian mentioned something about that. But what I don’t understand is: if the police are already investigating, why would they hire an outside detective? Aren’t they worried about leaks?” Could the agency really survive just on Liu Yu’s help? Then why was Tian Sisi still so careless about everything? Since the truth was out, Jin Yunjue decided she might as well clear all her doubts.

“Honestly, most police officers don’t have very high education levels, and we lack expertise in certain areas. To be frank, a lot of us are just good at catching thieves and subduing suspects, but not necessarily that smart. And even if we are smart, we might not have specialized knowledge. It’s just like how we rely on forensic doctors to help us with cases. Detectives play a similar role. The difference is that forensic doctors are part of the government, while detectives aren’t. So every time we need help, we sign a temporary contract. If the case is solved, the detective gets a set amount of reward. But this only applies to serious cases, like an unusual death.” Liu Yu explained.

“So the detective agency’s income must be really unstable. First, the crime rate in this city is low, so serious cases don’t happen often. Even if they do, they might not fall within your jurisdiction. And even then, there’s no guarantee the case can be solved.” Jin Yunjue wanted to add that judging by Tian Sisi’s appearance, she didn’t look capable at all. Rely on her to solve a case? That’d be when pigs fly.

“That’s exactly why the Old Master sent you here to save the situation.” Liu Yu gave a wry smile, grabbing a few packets of seasoning from the shelf and tossing them into the cart.

“To be honest, I don’t know if I can help the agency regain its former glory. I’m just an assistant.” Jin Yunjue remembered that Old Master Tian had said the main office used to be managed quite well, even after he went to England to set up a branch. Just a few years ago, the main office had been famous, business thriving, with clients from both the underworld and the lawful side. They had hired six people back then—either with IQs over 150 or with top professional expertise. Though few, they were all elites. Who would have thought the main office would fall so far? All six left for better opportunities, leaving only Tian Sisi behind, without even a receptionist. And Tian Sisi—no matter how you looked at her—was like a useless good-for-nothing. She didn’t have a shred of detective aura, just a spoiled brat.

“I trust Sisi’s grandfather. His judgment has always been sharp. If he sent you here, it’s because he believes you can do it.” Liu Yu said.

“Really?” Jin Yunjue still doubted herself. Nurturing Tian Sisi seemed like an almost impossible task.

When they returned to the agency, they found Tian Sisi already fast asleep in bed. Jin Yunjue frowned. The sun was high in the sky, and she was still dead asleep? If this wasn’t a messed-up schedule, then it was just sheer laziness. Unacceptable! If Liu Yu hadn’t tugged her sleeve, Jin Yunjue would’ve woken her up with a scolding.

Speaking of Liu Yu, he really was a good man. He shopped for groceries, cooked well-balanced meals, and the food tasted good too—so much better than Tian Sisi, who only woke up when she smelled the food, just to eat. The only thing that bothered Jin Yunjue was how much Liu Yu spoiled Tian Sisi. As an outsider, it made her itch with frustration.

“I’m done eating, I’ll head back to the station. Sisi, remember to wash the dishes.” Liu Yu stood, placing his own bowl and chopsticks in the sink.

“I’ll remember.” Tian Sisi answered lazily.

“You’re not going to make Xiao Jin wash them, are you? You’re the host here.” Liu Yu tapped her lightly on the head.

Tian Sisi smirked. “She doesn’t need to wash them either. Anyway, if we forget, you’ll come and wash them in a few days.”

“You lazybones.” Liu Yu shook his head, then told Jin Yunjue, “Xiao Jin, I’m off. Take your time.”

Jin Yunjue politely waved goodbye, leaving just her and Tian Sisi in the agency. Awkwardness filled the air. To break the silence, Jin Yunjue asked: “Brother Liu spends all day with us and still has to work later. Can he really handle it?”

“He’s got plenty of energy, no problem at all.”

Tian Sisi didn’t seem to care one bit. Jin Yunjue really disliked her attitude, so the rest of the meal passed in silence.

It was about bedtime, but neither of them had bathed yet. Since both stayed on the second floor, Tian Sisi asked: “You first or me?”

“Doesn’t matter. You decide.” Jin Yunjue thought it proper to let the younger one choose.

“Then let’s bathe together!” Tian Sisi reached out to hug her.

Jin Yunjue dodged quickly, grabbing her change of clothes as she walked off. “I’ll go first!” Honestly, she had to stay on guard with this girl!

After Jin Yunjue finished, Tian Sisi leisurely went into the bathroom. Jin Yunjue dried her hair, opened her laptop, and began drafting ways to improve the agency’s business. Since she had taken on the task, she had to do her best.

Ten minutes later, Tian Sisi came out with dripping hair, wearing an Anpanman onesie nightdress, and found Jin Yunjue curled up on the sofa with her laptop.

“Xiao Jinjing, whatcha doing?”

“Drafting operations and promotion plans.” Jin Yunjue didn’t even glance up.

“Oh.” Tian Sisi yawned, flopping onto the bed. “I’m going to sleep! Want to sleep with me?”

“No need.” Jin Yunjue glanced sideways—and nearly went blind. Seriously? An Anpanman pajama dress, and she hadn’t even dried her hair? Unacceptable! She scolded: “Hey! Your hair’s still wet!”

“It’ll dry on its own. Or did you change your mind and decide to sleep with me?” Tian Sisi sat up, striking what she thought was a seductive pose. Except she’d forgotten—she was far too skinny, with no curves to show.

One serious look was enough to make Jin Yunjue want to gouge her eyes out. “Why aren’t you wearing a bra?!” she cried. Thin as she was, she still had something!

“I’m not wearing panties either!” Tian Sisi teased, pretending to lift her skirt. Jin Yunjue quickly covered her eyes in horror. Pouting, Tian Sisi muttered: “You’re missing out on the good stuff. What a waste.”

“You exhibitionist!” Jin Yunjue shouted.

“Tch, at home you should be free and unrestrained! Sleeping naked helps with bl00d circulation! I only put on this nightdress because you’re here.”

“Go to sleep already!” Jin Yunjue didn’t want to hear her nonsense anymore. She stood, reaching to turn off the light—only for Tian Sisi to cry out first: “Don’t! Please don’t turn off the lights, even when I’m asleep.”

Could it be this brat was afraid of the dark? Seeing her pitiful expression, Jin Yunjue softened, tucked her in, and left her to sleep.

By the time Jin Yunjue finished her initial plan, Tian Sisi was already fast asleep. Quietly, she tiptoed downstairs and organized her luggage. It was nearly dawn when she finally returned upstairs to sleep on the sofa.

Jin Yunjue slept until noon. To her surprise, Tian Sisi was still asleep. “Is she a pig or something? How can she sleep this much?” she thought.

She folded the sofa bed, freshened up, grabbed an apple for breakfast, and went back to refining her plans.

Not long after, sounds came from upstairs—Tian Sisi had finally woken. Wearing a white shirt and jeans, she passed by, greeting her cheerfully: “Morning, Xiao Jinjing!” and headed straight for the door.

“You’re going out?” Jin Yunjue asked.

“Mm-hmm.” Tian Sisi slipped on her shoes. “Meeting Aqi to play video games!”

“Video games?” Jin Yunjue froze. She set her laptop down, walked over, and confronted her. “I’m here working hard, and you’re going to play video games?” She was serious about reviving the agency, while the supposed detective just… gamed? Video games… video… gam—

“Mm-hmm. After that, I’ll come back and cook fried rice with you.” Tian Sisi grinned and breezed out the door.

Jin Yunjue’s mouth twitched. Was Tian Sisi truly this naïve, or just pretending? Did “fried rice” mean actual fried rice… or that fried rice? If she really meant the edible kind, then maybe Jin Yunjue was the one being perverted, twisting innocent words into dirty meanings. Which meant—Tian Sisi had to be pretending to be naïve! No way would Jin Yunjue admit she herself was the wicked one.

As Tian Sisi left, Jin Yunjue noticed her shoes. Old, battered boots that looked like they might once have been Timberland classics, but clearly worn for years—scuffed and dirty. Checking the shoe cabinet, she found only two pairs of slippers, clearly belonging to Liu Yu and Tian Sisi. Besides those, there were only Jin Yunjue’s own shoes. Could it be that the agency was doing so poorly that Tian Sisi didn’t even have a spare pair of shoes?