The Detective is Useless (GL) - Chapter 5
Since she had made a promise, Jin Yunjue believed she had to give her all to fulfill it. Even if the results turned out less than ideal, at least she would have a clear conscience.
After waking up in the morning, Jin Yunjue quickly washed up and had breakfast, then buried herself at her desk. The flyer design was already finalized; next came the posters. She hoped to finish the drafts within a week, send them for printing, and officially start promotion. No matter how unreliable Tian Sisi might be, the agency still had her. After years of working under Elder Tian and Tian Chi, she could handle a detective’s duties as well as any official. She told herself she had the ability to be more than just an assistant. If she could revive the main office and push Tian Sisi to shape up, then when she returned to England, she might finally be recognized as a true detective.
By noon, Tian Sisi was still asleep. Jin Yunjue changed into casual clothes, put on a jacket, and went to wake her.
Waking Tian Sisi was like waging a war. After ten-plus minutes of shaking, tugging, cajoling, and scolding, nothing worked—until Jin Yunjue finally said, “If you get up now, I’ll take you to Happy World to play.” That made Tian Sisi leap out of bed on her own. Heaven help her! How old was she already, and she still had to be coaxed like a child?
Once Tian Sisi had washed up and changed, Jin Yunjue pulled her along, saying as they walked, “Come on! We’re going to buy you a smartphone.”
“Huh? I thought we were going to play? Why buy a phone…” Tian Sisi pouted in protest.
“We’ll play after. Be good.” Jin Yunjue realized it was easier to coax Tian Sisi with gentleness. She was clearly the type who yielded to kindness but not harshness—a little brat.
“But, Xiao Jinjing, I’m sooo hungry, my stomach is growling…” Tian Sisi pouted even harder, eyes wide and pitiful.
She was acting cute! Shamelessly! And it was working, too. Jin Yunjue felt like she was babysitting a child. Though, honestly, Tian Sisi did look surprisingly youthful…
To cut off excuses, Jin Yunjue bought a pork bun at a street stall and stuffed it into Tian Sisi’s mouth. But the moment Tian Sisi finished, she stopped in the middle of the road demanding orange juice. Helpless, Jin Yunjue gave in again. What should’ve been a ten-minute walk to the mall stretched into half an hour.
On the way, they passed Happy World. Fearing Tian Sisi would get distracted, Jin Yunjue held her hand tightly and quickened her pace.
Tian Sisi squirmed, wanting to run off, but she didn’t dare pull too hard—if she hurt Jin Yunjue, Grandpa would scold her.
As they walked, a girl of about twelve collapsed nearby. She wasn’t directly ahead, so Jin Yunjue didn’t notice, but Tian Sisi’s sharp eyes caught it. “Hey! Someone fainted!” she cried, rushing forward to help the girl up. “Are you okay, little sister?”
“I… low bl00d sugar… need candy…” The girl’s face was pale, her voice weak.
“Xiao Jinjing, hold her!” Tian Sisi handed the girl to the approaching Jin Yunjue—then darted away.
Jin Yunjue steadied the girl and comforted her, assuming Tian Sisi was off buying candy or finding help. But no—she had run straight into Happy World… and was at the coin machine trying to win candy!
“You idiot! There’s a convenience store right there—why the candy claw machine?!” Jin Yunjue roared.
It was almost a miracle. Jin Yunjue prided herself on being composed and well-mannered, yet Tian Sisi had managed to rile her up again and again in such a short time.
“Oh—” Tian Sisi shrugged, as if only now realizing a store sold candy, and called back, “Don’t you have a candy in your pocket?”
From this distance Jin Yunjue couldn’t hear clearly, but she caught the words “pocket” and “candy.” Right—yesterday Tian Sisi had given her a lollipop that was still in her coat pocket.
She quickly unwrapped it and put it in the girl’s mouth. Bit by bit, color returned to the girl’s face. Soon she was steady on her feet, thanked Jin Yunjue, and left.
Jin Yunjue smiled faintly as she watched her go. It felt good to help others—truly, giving was more blessed than receiving.
Looking around, she spotted Tian Sisi at the coin pusher machine. Fuming, she went over and whispered sharply so as not to scare nearby kids: “You knew I had candy but didn’t remind me? Instead you ran off to play? I… I seriously doubt you even earned that detective license. Are you a fraud?”
“Aiyo, Xiao Jinjing, don’t be so harsh. I’m Tian Sisi—cute, cool, beautiful, smart, all in one package!” Tian Sisi grinned, rubbing herself shamelessly against Jin Yunjue.
“Miss Tian, behave yourself,” Jin Yunjue ground out between clenched teeth, still mindful to keep her voice low.
“Why so fierce? You can call me Little Sisi… or darling.” Tian Sisi batted her eyes, then suddenly pointed ahead. “Eh, someone’s coming to see you!”
Jin Yunjue turned to see a cameraman with a professional rig, a host-like figure, and several staffers approaching. “Wait—they’re looking for me?” She turned to ask Tian Sisi, only to find she’d slipped away.
The crew came straight to her. Sure enough, they were from a local TV station filming a show called Small Town, Big Love. They staged acts of kindness to film citizens’ reactions, then interviewed them. The fainting girl had been an actress. Jin Yunjue didn’t enjoy being on camera, but she remained polite and answered calmly. These staff were just doing their jobs—she wouldn’t make it hard for them. When the show aired, she could simply avoid watching it.
Once the crew left, Jin Yunjue went back into Happy World to drag Tian Sisi out.
“So you were here.” She finally found her at a claw machine. “You knew that girl was an actress?”
“Mm-hmm.” Tian Sisi’s eyes never left the machine. “She faints like five times a week.”
“And you didn’t tell me earlier?” Jin Yunjue rolled her eyes. She had been tricked into playing along, all for the TV’s benefit.
“Shhh.” Tian Sisi pressed the button… success! She picked up a Melody plush, bent to take it, and handed it to Jin Yunjue. “For you.”
“Thank you.” Surprised, Jin Yunjue examined the plush. Did Tian Sisi know she liked Melody? Probably coincidence. Still, receiving it eased her temper.
“Let’s go.” Tian Sisi walked to another side of the machine and scooped up a giant Angry Bird plush almost half her height.
“That one’s yours too?” Jin Yunjue gaped. Where could the agency even put such a thing?
“Yup, won it earlier at Rainbow Toss. It can sleep with me.” Tian Sisi grinned.
Well, at least it had a purpose. But Jin Yunjue still frowned. “If you already won a plush, why waste money on claw machines? The agency barely has income. Look at your worn shoes and clothes from years ago.”
“I didn’t waste!” Tian Sisi puffed her cheeks. “I spent 4 bucks on the candy claw, 6 on the coin pusher, won 23, then 5 on Rainbow Toss, 3 on the claw machine again… and I still profited 5 bucks! Am I a money genius or what, Xiao Jinjing?” She leaned against her again.
“Stop it!” Jin Yunjue pushed her away. “The phone store’s just ahead. Move!”
Pouting, Tian Sisi hugged her giant plush and trailed behind. Near the shop, she chirped, “You go in. Any phone is fine for me. I’m buying ice cream!” Then she bolted—both hands full with the plush, so how was she going to hold ice cream?
“Hey!” Jin Yunjue called after her. “The whole point is for you to pick! What if you hate my choice and refuse to use it?” She sighed. Children and fools—impossible to teach. Shaking her head, she went in alone.
After checking a few models, she settled on one with decent looks and basic functions. As she was negotiating the price, Tian Sisi suddenly piped up, “Good heavens, how’s that worth three thousand bucks?”
“Don’t embarrass yourself if you don’t know,” Jin Yunjue muttered, embarrassed. She glanced over—sure enough, Tian Sisi held both a plush and an ice cream, drips smudging her lips.
But maybe she was wrong. The shop owner’s expression shifted as soon as he saw Tian Sisi. He turned deferential. “Miss, is this your friend?”
“Xiao Jinjing is my gorgeous assistant! Try ripping her off again, and I’ll have Auntie Zhu make you kneel on a washboard!” Tian Sisi declared proudly.
The owner folded his hands, smiling nervously. “I didn’t know she was with you, give me another chance…”
So that was it—this man had a history of cheating outsiders. Tian Sisi had actually come to back her up.
“Next time I catch you cheating, you won’t get off so easy.” Tian Sisi glanced at the phone in Jin Yunjue’s hand, licked her ice cream, and added, “This one’s worth 1,800. Take it or leave it.”
The owner’s eyes widened. “Miss, 1,800 barely covers cost—”
“Cost price, I know. And you tried to scam my assistant.” Tian Sisi turned away, radiating your choice—listen or die.
“Fine, fine, 1,800.” The owner surrendered.
Jin Yunjue felt an urge to smack Tian Sisi’s head, but with others around and her hands full of the Melody plush, she held back. Tian Sisi had skills—pity she never used them for detective work. Such wasted potential.